Sometimes Whaley Says Things

Tiffany: [really long post about an anime she's watching]

Whaley: I want pizza.

Tiffany:

Whaley: Well, at least 12.

Tiffany: I'm at least 12.

Whaley: And I'm 20.

Tiffany:

Whaley: That would be really creepy. Close enough.

Whaley: But... if I were 16... and Tiff was 16....

Tiffany: We would be in love.

Whaley: Yep. It's how it works.

Tiffany: ... the shark.

Whaley: What if they were fighting on land?

Tiffany: [strange noise of distress] the bear.

Everyone:

[five minutes later after the discussion moved on]

Whaley: Tiffff.

Whaley: What if the shark has a laser attached to it?

Tiffany: THEN, THE SHARK.

Whaley: What if it can't control the laser?

Tiffany: What if your legs forgot they were legs?

Whaley: Didn't know they were legs*.

Steven: What if we were pancakes. [stops] [stares].

Whaley: ...They're both on the shore, Tiff. So, like--

Tiffany: THE SHARK

Whaley: The shark still? What if it's like--

Tiffany: THEY'RE ON THE SHORE

Whaley: What if it's a really big shark? Like, a super shark.

Tiffany: ...the shark still.

Whaley: Really? Fine. No, that's fine. I was just checking.

Tiffany:

Whaley: OY

Tiffany: CALM UR NATHAN KRESS HAIR WAVE

Whaley:

Whaley: I'm leaving.

-later-

Whaley: [screaming because some game idk actually lol]

Me: CHILL

Whaley: YOU NEED TO CHILL. WOW, you're the one waking up tomorrow at like 6 am just to make some macaroni. That's like crazy cracker status, you know that right?

Whaley: "I can't do this anymore. ...I can't even imagine what it's like to be a girl like this. Like, feeling that kind of emotion constantly."

Whaley: "You could probably scrape it off, to be honest. You could wash it off probably. [high pitched voice] 'I can't put my phone in water!' [regular voice] No, Tiffany. Don't put your phone in water."

Tiffany: "You spoke my thoughts exactly stop it."

Whaley: "... Oh, no."