Westeros Snaps

Your chamber pot is like the night: dark and full of terrors.

The meat you serve in your great hall is so riddled with maggots, you should change your house words to "Diarrhea is Coming".

You are such a Ghiscari, you know four ways to prepare dog.

Your love for hot and sweet locusts is so great, you ate a whole bowl of them before you realized they were poisoned.

Your seneschal is so perfumed, Westerosi knights hold him in contempt.

Your aunt is so easily manipulated, she murdered her husband at the behest of Petyr Baelish.

If sight were bricks, your maester would have no bricks.

Your maester is so weak willed, he became addicted to milk of the poppy during the ministration of his sworn duties.

Your bastard son is so difficult, you rue the day that you raped his mother.

You follow your oaths so poorly that a dire wolf bit off your fingers.

Your bloodline is so thin that you have sex with your brother to continue your clan's lineage!

The hull of your ship is like the Hound's face: dry, cracked, and permanently damaged.

Your morals are so questionable, you could be a sellsword.

You are so pale and sickly, people often mistake you for little Lord Robert Arryn.

You are such a whore, Tyrion Lannister often pays you for sex.

You are such a wine snob, you only drink from the vineyards of the Arbor.

If the Dothraki were bricks, Khal Drogo would have 40,000 bricks in his khalasar.