I feel like its a truly shitty feeling when I sit back and realize..... I can not think of a time in my life when ive ever been truly happy. Sure ive had moments of contentment or enjoyment in a moment or short time. But at no time have I felt true joy or happiness in my life. At no point have I felt any real love or care from the people I need the most. Im so used to people walking away or backing off because my anxiety is too much or to tedious to deal with. Or im being to needy and annoying. And im so damn tired of feeling like I have to make my self smaller and easier to digest for other people. And honestly I think im just tired....

About ready to go ghost mode and see who even notices