ANDREA

“Sometimes, all you can do is lie in bed, and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart.”

“Living mindfully is not about forcing positivity all the time. It is instead seeing the picture as a whole, acknowledging it, and remembering to keep on open mind towards all aspects of it.”

“Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”

“You deserve a slow love. Uncomplicated. No rush. Sure. Stable. Consistent. You deserve that love. You deserve someone that’s sure of you, that you’re sure of.”

“Be with someone who will take care of you. Not materialistically, but take care of your soul, your well being, your heart.”

“Those who do not know how to see the precious things in life will never be happy.”

“People change and promises are broken.”

Everyone else isn't you. It turns out that's a huge problem for me.

Such wounds to the heart will probably never heal. But we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever.

“I know you loved me — but you loved me like the favorite toy from your childhood. You’d always adored me, told me I was your favorite and kept me safely on the shelf. But I wanted to be loved like the toys you spend most time with and you give your attention to. I tried all that I was capable of but I couldn't get it, so I started to break down. I started to fall down from the shelf and I loved how you always fixed me. I can never forget how I’d fallen down the shelf time and time again and broke into pieces — you’d always picked up my pieces and kept me back on the shelf. You'd always told me that you loved me the most but I couldn't feel it. I wanted to be your toy to play with but you always played with me when you were bored by other toys. So I decided to break down one last time — but this time, before you’d even tried to pick up my pieces I cut your hand and let you bleed. Because I have realized that the pain you feel now will save you from the heartache later. And I let my pieces remain broken because I am tired of waiting for you on the shelf.”

We sat and talked about our future, what we'll name our kids, where will we live, what will happen to us.