Inbetween the Willows

I wish I could bottle up that air

and inject that smog into my veins

Make my body hazy

Make my body blurry

Suffocate me into a dream

That same smog we inhaled 

that one november night

is the same one that scraped my lungs

Throw in some of the sharp adobe pebbles

that tore up the bottom of our boots

when we strolled that trail

Inject those pebbles and the smog

into my veins

so that maybe they’ll reach my heart

and destroy that too. 

Okay yes I still think of you. I still think of you every day. About every other hour. I can’t help it. Everything reminds me of you. And I fucking hate it. I thought I found my true blue. Over time you sucked the last drop of life from me unapologetically. I became absent. I became lonely. When we were together I hated every second of it, but I loved you. Walking around you was like tip-toeing on hot coals. With my mouth taped shut, I managed a tiny gap to whisper. But my tongue was covered in molasses and stuck with every word murmured. But why do I miss you so? I was apologizing with every breath. Why do I hurt so? You never stuck up for me. I was broken and you didn’t even care. I was broken and you didn’t even see. I was broken and you didn’t know it was because of you.