𝐑𝐨𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐭
In the photograph, I am standing against a plain wall, swallowed by the heavy, smalt-blue folds of an academic gown from the Research School of Pacific and Asian Studies at The Australian National University. It is the garment of my highest degree. Yet, during graduation ceremonies at the University of the Philippines, it stays in the closet.
Our commencement rituals require the sablay—a woven sash draped across the shoulder. It is meant to be a great equalizer, a visual reminder that our primary allegiance is to the public. However, it also functions as a quiet erasure of where else we have been. Not long ago, my colleague Marlon James Sales—who directs the UP College of Arts and Letters Graduate Studies Office and holds a PhD in Translation Studies from Monash—and I joked about a minor mutiny. We threatened to pull our foreign doctoral robes out for the ceremonies, curious to see how the community would react to the sudden intrusion of Canberra or Melbourne into the strict sea of maroon and green.
We knew it would be viewed as eccentric, or worse, misread as an ostentatious display of foreign pedigree in a culture that can sometimes be deeply suspicious of the outside world. For those of us who left to study abroad, returning was rarely a triumphant homecoming. There were colleagues who did not believe in us, who viewed our departure with cynicism, or who used the bureaucracy to make the path back as narrow as possible. Institutions overseas had offered climate-controlled offices, vast research endowments, and a comfortable predictability that would have been immensely easy to stay for.
Instead, we returned to a campus that made staying difficult. In 2016, a fire gutted the UP Faculty Center, reducing our departments, our personal libraries, and our archives to ash. Ten years later, we still do not have proper offices. We have become nomadic academics, grading papers in noisy coffee shops and conducting research in whatever makeshift corners we can find. We work through the literal rain leaking through aging campus roofs, continuing our work inside a system that regularly asks its faculty to substitute pure grit for basic infrastructure.
The robe stays in the closet.















