Post- Grad, Post- Early Twenties Rambling

So last year was the most seismic year of my life. I consider my ‘long 2023’ to have started in August 2022, during my first break up.

I had never experienced heartbreak like that. I threw myself into the gym and my new teaching job (and first full time position after uni). I discovered online dating for the first time, to my peril. I became extremely thin, and totally revelled in my sadness. I thought myself so profound, and this was compounded by numerous and terrible situationships. I went through what was probably my second genuine heartbreak.

Come about March- time, I started to ‘fix up’ emotionally. I met some of my best friends, and was partying every weekend (… and some weeknights). It was the busiest few months of my life. I then met my now- partner, who introduced me to another lovely circle of people.

March to December have been the happiest, silliest and busiest months of my life. I made some incredible memories with my friends and deepened my relationship with my partner. However, I’ve gotten pretty physically unhealthy, and… blew through what were already pretty meagre savings.

I regret nothing. The expense, ultimately, was worth it. As I progress through my twenties I’ve come to think of my life in terms of periods and seasons, as opposed to linear and unfaltering progress. I still worked hard this year, professionally. I had an article published in a blog, and successfully applied for my September apprenticeship. But this aspect of my life- my self- development and self- care- must come first now.

This year, I must calm down. This is certainly not punishment for my happiness. I have had a blast and I would not change a second of it. I just am acknowledging that I need to re- route (and re-root) myself.

I’m starting a new position tomorrow, as a cover teacher at a school closer to my home. Then, in September, I begin my official teacher training year. In the interim, my focus is on my health, my mind, and my existing relationships.

At my core, I thrive in my aloneness- I love to write and read, draw and paint. These things fell by the wayside in what I’ve been calling my ‘recovery’. I’m on day 7 of not smoking (a silly habit I picked up to make friends and ended up sticking), and I’m back in the gym. I’ve cleaned my room for the first time in months, and I’ve been hitting 8 hours of sleep most nights.

My socialising now consists of wine- free restaurant meals and chats over coffee. I have a few glasses of wine once a week, and have made my friends swear to only invite me ‘out- out’ once a month from this point onward. My partner and I take it in turns to dream up ‘weekend dates’, and spend our time traipsing museums and looking up life drawing classes.

Unqualified teacher diaries: one on one art tuition with an SEN student, getting back into the gym, walks through the park on my way home, spontaneous trips to Daunt books with my pals, getting back into my own drawing