Your Friendly Anit

Number one thing I want to make clear; DO NOT HAVE SEXUAL CONTACT WITH A CHILD.

If in any doubt, avoid being alone with children who you find attractive so as to avoid temptation.

Two things I would like to clear;

•I am aware they didn't choose to be sexually attracted to children (because logically who does)

•and I'm also aware that they honestly, can't stop being sexually attracted to children

BUT, I do know that you can successfully resist your attraction.

If you feel that you could use help from a mental health professional, find a competent therapist. The list below provides a list of referral sources to mental health professionals who have experience in treating pedophiles.

I do not have personal knowledge of the professionals so you should not take the lists endorsements of any kind but, They do, however, provide a good place for you to start your search.

Before revealing your personal situation, you should ask a therapist about the conditions under which he or she would break confidentiality and notify the police or others. You should be able to ask confidentiality-related questions over the phone before making an appointment or even revealing your name.

When you do reveal an attraction to children, pay attention to the therapist's reaction. If he or she seems cold, judgmental, or uncomfortable, it may be time to try another therapist.

Here's a list of places that can help you.

•Association for Sexual Abuse Prevention (ASAP) - tel.: (541) 891-6168

Provides referrals to mental health professionals as well as counseling services via Skype. Calls therapists on behalf of pedophiles to vet them for views on mandatory reporting as well as for willingness and ability to help pedophiles in need.

•The Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers (ATSA) - tel.: (503) 643-1023

A national professional association of specialists in the field of sexual abuser treatment. Although the therapists primarily treat pedophiles who have had sex with children, I have been told that many of the therapists who are listed have the skill and desire to treat child-celibate pedophiles as well. For a referral contact them by phone or email. No identifying information required.

•Stop It Now - tel.: (888) PRE-VENT

An organization dedicated to prevention of child sexual abuse. Includes helpful resources for pedophiles who wish to avoid offending.

•Specialist Treatment Organisation for the Prevention of Sexual Offending - tel.:07473299883

•StopSO UK is an organization that aims to prevent sexual offending through therapy.

•Prevention Project Dunkelfeld - tel.: +49/30/450 529 450

Located in Germany. The Prevention Project Dunkelfeld (PPD) provides confidential treatment free of charge for individuals who have a partial or exclusive sexual preference in terms of pedophilia or hebephilia and seek therapeutic help.

The goal of the therapy is to cope with problems in dealing with the particular sexual preference. From a patient's point of view, focus is on controlling one's own behaviour in order to prevent child sexual abuse and child pornography offending. The therapeutic procedure integrates behavioural therapy and sexological approaches and also includes the option for pharmaceutical support.

•Circles of Support and Accountability

Located in Canada. Groups of volunteers who provide assistance and social support and who, in turn, receive support and supervision from professionals.

•AASECT

A professional organization of sex educators, therapists and counselors. The web site includes a 'Locate a Professional' function, some of whom have expertise with pedophilia.

•SSTAR

A community of professionals who have clinical interests in human sexual concerns, including pedophilia. The web site includes a therapist directory.

Disclaimer: making this l DOSE NOT MEAN I SUPPORT THE ABUSE OF CHILDREN.

A German medical student sparked online backlash after she was filmed telling an audience that “pedophilia is an unchangeable sexual orientation, just like… heterosexuality.”

Mirjam Heine gave a lecture in defense of pedophiles during the “independently organized” TEDx Talk at the University of Würtzberg in Germany in May. The title given to Heine’s talk was “Why our perception of pedophilia has to change.”

Introducing her theme with the “story” of “Jonas,” a 19-year-old pedophile who studies law and plays soccer, she asked her listeners to put aside their revulsion for pedophiles.

“Anyone could be born a pedophile,” she told them.

According to the medical student, pedophilia is just another “unchangeable sexual orientation just like, for example, heterosexuality.” Heine asked her audience to differentiate between sexual attraction to children, which she believes should be accepted and tolerated as involuntary “feelings,” and child sexual abuse, which she underscored was always wrong.

“The difference between pedophilia and other sexual orientations is that living out this sexual orientation will end in a disaster,” she said.

Meanwhile, Heine made the surprising assertion that “scientific studies” show that only 20 to 30 percent of all child molesters are pedophiles.

“The vast majority of perpetrators are not pedophiles but are sexually interested in adults,” she stated. Her example was a man who sexually abuses his step-daughter because he’s angry at, or jealous of, her mother.

At times Heine’s ideas were confused. She said heterosexuality and pedophilia were both orientations, while saying pedophilia can be “heterosexual,” “homosexual,” and “bi-sexual.” She intimated that a non-pedophile could sexually abuse a child, but also included within her definition of pedophiles people attracted, to a lesser extent, to adults. And although she seems to think people are “born” pedophiles, she also said pedophilia has biological, social, and psychological factors.

For Heine, pedophilia is not something that someone actually does but something that someone would like to do, as a sexual preference that they would “live out freely,” if only it weren’t contrary to leading “an upright life.”

Heine stressed that social isolation of pedophiles is an important factor in how likely they are to sexually assault children. But to her, “social isolation” didn’t mean being without parents or friends it meant the pedophile’s reluctance to tell them about his sexual inclinations.

“For example, they can’t tell their children they can’t go to the beach because children in swimsuits may be there as well,” Heine said. “They can never be completely frank with someone else.”

Openness about one’s sexual feelings is crucial to Heine. She believes that a pedophile’s ability to be “frank” and have his “orientation” acknowledged, tolerated, and accepted is key to preventing child sexual assault.

“We shouldn’t increase the sufferings of pedophiles by excluding them, by blaming and mocking them,” Heine said. “By doing that, WE increase their isolation and WE increase the chance of child sexual abuse.”

Central to Heine’s argument is that pedophiles are not to blame for their feelings and thoughts, only for their actions. She does not, however, address the topic of deliberate fantasizing or the use of pornography. And, at the same time, while arguing that pedophiles cannot change their “feelings,” she encouraged her audience to change their own feelings of revulsion for pedophiles.

“Just like pedophiles, we are not responsible for our feelings,” she said. “We do not choose them...but it is our responsibility to...overcome our negative feelings about pedophiles and to treat them with the same respect we treat other people with.”

According to Breitbart, once it was posted to YouTube, Heine’s lecture resulted in a massive online backlash. In response, the organizers of the independent TEDx event removed the video, and the founding TED Talks media organization has been trying to remove “illegal copies” from the internet. Representatives for TED Talks made a statement defending the censorship

“After reviewing the talk, we believe it cites research in ways that are open to serious misinterpretation. This led some viewers to interpret the talk as an argument in favor of an illegal and harmful practice,” they wrote.

TED Talks continued, “Furthermore, after contacting the organizer to understand why it had been taken down, we learned that the speaker herself requested it be removed from the internet because she had serious concerns about her own safety in its wake.”

“Our policy is and always has been to remove speakers’ talks when they request we do so. That is why we support this TEDx organizer’s decision to respect this speaker’s wishes and keep the talk offline.”

A number of fear-mongering campaigns over the years have attempted to link pedophilia to the LGBTQ community, despite an utter lack of scientific proof of any such connection. In December 2017, for instance, internet trolls spread a false rumor that the letter “P,” representing “pedosexual,” was being added to the initialism LGBT (for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender”).

An eerily similar rumour was spread via social media in June 2018 in the form of an image purportedly showing a “MAPs (Minor-Attracted Persons) Pride Flag” supposedly created for Gay Pride Month:

This picture does not represent a “MAPs Pride Flag.” Rather, the image was created as part of a troll experiment on Tumblr.

When pictures of this “MAP flag” began circulating on Facebook, the posts typically included messages warning other social media users to be wary of anyone displaying this flag:

”This is a Minor Attracted Person (MAP) (polished term for pedophile) flag. If you happen to see this flag on any Social Media Profile or someone using the term MAP in their bio, please REPORT the Pedophile running that account.”

Websites such as the Daily Caller and “Attitude” picked up on this alleged “MAPs Pride Flag” and reported that pedophiles were “rebranding” themselves as “Minor Attracted Persons” in an attempt to be accepted by the LGBT community:

Paedophiles are trying to gain acceptance to the LGBT community by rebranding themselves.

In a bid to gain acceptance, they have rebranded themselves as MAPs or “Minor-Attracted Persons” and have gone so far to even create a rainbow “Pride” flag for Gay Pride, but the Twitter user, the Communist Fish, posted a picture back in June to warn children to stay away

The group attempt to claim that paedophiles are misunderstood people and if they do not act upon their attraction to children, they shouldn’t be marginalised.

Sites like The Prevention Project have started to post testimonials from paedophiles who are seeking help with their attraction, claiming everyone “needs support”.

Pedophiles did not coin the term “minor attracted persons” (or MAPS) to rebrand themselves in 2018 in order to gain entry to the LGBT community. Organizations such as B4UAct have been using the term “minor attracted persons” for years to refer to “adults who experience feelings of preferential sexual attraction to children or adolescents under the age of consent.”

The Prevention Project, an organization that helps minor-attracted persons find professional treatment, explicitly denied that the term “MAPs” was an attempt to “rebrand” pedophiles. Rather, they explained that this term was preferred as a broader reference that could accurately encompass hebephiles, pedophiles, and ephebephiles:

Websites such as the Daily Caller and “Attitude” picked up on this alleged “MAPs Pride Flag” and reported that pedophiles were “rebranding” themselves as “Minor Attracted Persons” in an attempt to be accepted by the LGBT community:

Paedophiles are trying to gain acceptance to the LGBT community by rebranding themselves.

In a bid to gain acceptance, they have rebranded themselves as MAPs or “Minor Attracted Persons” and have gone so far to even create a rainbow “Pride” flag for Gay Pride, but Twitter user, Communist Fish, posted a picture back in June to warn children to stay away.

The group attempt to claim that paedophiles are misunderstood people and if they do not act upon their attraction to children, they shouldn’t be marginalised.

Sites like The Prevention Project have started to post testimonials from paedophiles who are seeking help with their attraction, claiming everyone “needs support”.

Pedophiles did not coin the term “minor attracted persons” (or MAPS) to rebrand themselves in 2018 in order to gain entry to the LGBT community. Organizations such as B4UAct have been using the term “minor attracted persons” for years to refer to “adults who experience feelings of preferential sexual attraction to children or adolescents under the age of consent.”

The Prevention Project, an organization that helps minor-attracted persons find professional treatment, explicitly denied that the term “MAPs” was an attempt to “rebrand” pedophiles. Rather, they explained that this term was preferred as a broader reference that could accurately encompass hebephiles, pedophiles, and ephebephiles:

”The term minor is defined as anyone under the age of 18. Therefore, someone attracted to a 14-year-old is actually called an ephebophile, not a pedophile. Someone attracted to a 13-year-old is called a hebephile. Pedophiles are attracted to 6-12-year-old children; not teens. Hence why we accurately use the term “Minor-Attracted Person” when we discuss providing treatment to men and women with attractions to various ages of minors. We are not trying to “soften the term” or “rebrand” pedophilia to fit in with certain groups. We treat individuals who are attracted to various ages of minors, thus it is accurate to use the term “minor-attracted person.”

We also found no evidence that this flag originated in earnest as a MAPs Pride Flag. the Prevention Project has said that they had never heard of this pride flag: “We’re experts in treating MAPs who have zero desire to harm anyone but want support to deal with the stigma of being a pedophile, pedophile or ephebophile. MAPs encompass these 3 terms. None of the MAPs we know (we know a lot) have talked about this [flag].”

This alleged “MAPs Pride Flag” appears to have originated on the Tumblr page “Don’t Mistake Our Geography” on 13 June 2018, where it was posted with a brief explanation about what the colours in the flag supposedly symbolized to NO MAPS (Non-Offending Minor-Attracted Persons) and an acknowledgement that the “pride flag” had just been created out of whole cloth:

”The NOMAP community doesn’t really have a pride flag, so in honor of pride month I designed a NOMAP pride flag.

•The top two stripes are blue to represent NOMAPs attracted to young boys.

•The bottom two stripes are pink to represent NOMAPs attracted to young girls.

•The inner stripes are yellow to represent childhood and general attraction to minors, regardless of their gender.

•The middle stripe is white to represent our innocence and unwillingness to offend.

Please feel free to use this flag and make icons out of it etc! Hope you enjoy”

At the time this Pride flag image was originally posted, the Tumblr page operated under a banner in support of MAPs and included a tagline claiming that the author was “possibly a MAP” and “definitely a supporter.” However, the title of this page was later changed to “Y’all need a therapist, not a community,” and the tagline was altered to read “Not an anti, not an ally, just a training psychologist with some fucking sense.”

Here’s a look at how the page was changed. The top image shows the Tumblr page as it was in mid-June, while it was claiming to be a MAP ally; the bottom image shows the page at the time of this writing, after it was revealed that the flag was bogus:

Although we don’t know the motivations of this Tumblr user, it should be noted that the person claimed to be a CSA (child sexual assault) victim.

Pedophiles are not rebranding themselves as MAPs to gain entry to the LGBT community, nor did they release an official “MAPs Pride Flag.” As we noted in our article about the homophobic and false rumor that a “P” for pedosexual was being added to the initialism LGBT, no link has been established between pedophilia and homosexuality:

An especially pernicious myth is that most adults who sexually abuse children are gay. A number of researchers have looked at this question to determine if homosexuals are more likely to be pedophiles than heterosexuals, and the data indicate that’s not the case.

For example, in a 1989 study led by Kurt Freund of the Clarke Institute of Psychiatry in Canada, scientists showed pictures of children to adult gay and straight males, and measured sexual arousal. Homosexual men reacted no more strongly to pictures of male children than heterosexual men reacted to pictures of female children.

Pedophilic disorder is characterized by recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving prepubescent or young adolescents (usually ≤ 13 yr); it is diagnosed only when people are ≥ 16 yr and ≥ 5 yr older than the child who is the target of the fantasies or behaviors.

Pedophilia is form of paraphilia that causes harm to others is thus considered a paraphilic disorder.

Sexual offenses against children constitute a significant proportion of reported criminal sexual acts. For older adolescents (ie, 17 to 18 yr old), ongoing sexual interest or involvement with a 12- or 13-yr-old may not meet the clinical criteria for a disorder. However, legal criteria may be different from psychiatric criteria. For example, sexual activity between a 19-yr-old and a 16-yr-old may be a crime and not a pedophilic disorder, depending on the jurisdiction. Diagnostic age guidelines apply to Western cultures and not to the many cultures that accept sexual activity, marriage, and childbearing at much younger ages and accept much greater age differences between sex partners than Western cultures do.

Most pedophiles are male. Attraction may be to young boys, girls, or both. But pedophiles prefer opposite-sex to same-sex children 2:1. In most cases, the adult is known to the child and may be a family member, stepparent, or a person with authority (eg, a teacher, a coach). Looking or touching seems more prevalent than genital contact. Pedophiles may be attracted only to children (exclusive form) or also adults (nonexclusive form); some are attracted only to children who are related to them (incest).

Predatory pedophiles, many of whom have antisocial personality disorder, may use force and threaten to physically harm the child or the child’s pets if the abuse is disclosed.

The course of pedophilia is chronic, and perpetrators often have or develop substance abuse or dependence and depression. Pervasive family dysfunction, a personal history of sexual abuse, and marital conflict are common. Other comorbid disorders include attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, anxiety disorders, and posttraumatic stress disorder.

•Diagnosis

Extensive use of child pornography is a reliable marker of sexual attraction to children and may be the only indicator of the disorder. However, use of child pornography by itself does not meet criteria for pedophilic disorder, although it is typically illegal.

If a patient denies sexual attraction to children but circumstances suggest otherwise, certain diagnostic tools can help confirm such attraction. Tools include penile plethysmography (men), vaginal photoplethysmography (women), and viewing time of standardized erotic materials; however, possession of such material, even for diagnostic purposes, may be illegal in certain jurisdictions.

Clinical criteria for diagnosis (based on Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition [DSM-5]) of pedophilic disorder are

•Recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving a prepubescent child or children (usually ≤ 13 yr) have been present for ≥ 6 mo.

•The person has acted on the urges or is greatly distressed or impaired by the urges and fantasies.

•The person is ≥ 16 yr and ≥ 5 yr older than the child who is the target of the fantasies or behaviors (but excluding an older adolescent who is in an ongoing relationship with a 12- or 13-yr-old).

Identifying a patient as a potential pedophile sometimes poses an ethical crisis for health care practitioners. However, health care practitioners have a responsibility to protect the community of children. Practitioners should know the reporting requirements in their state. If practitioners have reasonable suspicion of child sexual or physical abuse, the law requires that it be reported to authorities. Reporting requirements vary by state (see Child Welfare Information Gateway).

•Treatment

Long-term individual or group psychotherapy is usually necessary and may be especially helpful when it is part of multimodal treatment that includes social skills training, treatment of comorbid physical and mental disorders, and drug treatment.

Treatment of pedophilia is less effective when court ordered, although many adjudicated sex offenders have benefited from treatments, such as group psychotherapy plus antiandrogens.

Some pedophiles who are committed to treatment and monitoring can refrain from pedophilic activity and can be reintegrated into society. These results are more likely when no other psychiatric disorders, particularly personality disorders, are present.

•Medication

In the US, the treatment of choice for pedophilia is; IM medroxyprogesterone acetate

By blocking pituitary production of luteinizing hormone (LH) and follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), medroxyprogesterone reduces testosterone production and thus reduces libido. Typical doses are medroxyprogesterone 200 mg IM 2 to 3 times/wk for 2 wk, followed by 200 mg 1 to 2 times/wk for 4 wk, then 200 mg q 2 to 4 wk.

The gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) agonist, leuprolide, which reduces pituitary production of LH and FSH and thus reduces testosterone production, is also an option and requires less frequent IM injections (at 1- to 6 mo- intervals) than medroxyprogesterone. However, the cost is usually considerably higher. Cyproterone acetate which blocks testosterone receptors, is used in Europe. Serum testosterone should be monitored and maintained in the normal female range (< 62 ng/dL) in male patients. Treatment is usually long-term because deviant fantasies usually recur weeks to months after treatment is stopped. Liver function tests should be done, and BP, bone mineral density, and CBC should be monitored as required.

The usefulness of antiandrogens in female pedophiles is less well established.

In addition to antiandrogens, SSRIs (eg, high-dose fluoxetine 60 to 80 mg once/day or fluvoxamine 200 to 300 mg po once/day) may be useful.

Medications are most effective when used as part of a multimodal treatment program.

There have been a number of warnings on Twitter and other social networks alerting underage people about the flag above.

The general tone is that “Minor Attracted Persons” are using the flag and term to “soften the idea of pedophilia.” But it’s unclear that this is truly the case.

Firstly, yes, “Minor Attracted Persons” is a term used by some pedophile support groups. Groups like Virtuous Pedophiles and The Prevention Project, are for people who feel a sexual attraction to children but who have never, and would never, act on that attraction.

According to the Virtuous Pedophiles website, “Our highest priority is to help pedophiles never abuse children.” The group’s three guiding principles are:

“Sexual activity between an adult and a child is always wrong.

We oppose legalizing adult/child sexual activity or making it in any way more accepted.

“Some people cannot believe that pedophiles would hold these beliefs. We do. They are the foundation of everything we do.”

And if you look over these groups’ sites, you won’t see any Pride flag, let alone the one pictured above. And, in fact, a Pride flag seems to run counter to their entire mission. These groups are about helping people deal with pedophilic attraction to control and get rid of it, not embrace it.

Of course, there are pro-pedophilia groups. Everyone already knows about NAMBLA, the North American Man Boy Love Association. But even NAMBLA doesn’t appear to be embracing this flag. Nor do they use the term “Minor Attracted Persons.”

A Google search for “Minor Attracted Persons” only brings up support groups like Virtuous Pedophiles and web users warning others about “Minor Attracted Persons” coming for your kids.

As far as we can tell, the Minor Attracted Persons flag appear to be a hoax, similar to last year’s “Clovergender” hoax.

In that one, trolls from 4chan decided to “creat[e] a new gender to troll SJWs with.” Clovergender, taking its name from 4chan’s logo of a four-leaf clover, alleged to be “a child trapped in a man’s body who is attracted to other children.”

A spokesperson for Virtuous Pedophiles told Hornet that they had also only seen the flag in warnings and hadn’t seen the flag discussed amongst their members.

(Disclaimer; the Q stands for Questioning Not the Q-Slur)

Apparently, thanks to some trolls on the internet. This thing almost became a reality but thankfully this was such down REAL quick.

For those who don't know, The LGBTQ+ community has long been maliciously associated with pedophiles by people who wish to further stigmatize us. Internet trolls are aware of this violent tradition, and are taking advantage by spreading propaganda that, on first glance, resembles an embrace of pedophiles by LGBTQ+ people. It’s an effective tactic if we accept the false premise: that there is a link between sexual predators and LGBTQ+ people. But there isn’t, and it’s time we stopped meeting that propaganda on the trolls’ terms.

In June, Central Oregon Pride organizers were targeted by an insidious campaign that distributed fake posters claiming NAMBLA was sponsoring the event along with the Human Dignity Coalition, an LGBTQ+ advocacy group in Bend, Oregon. Jamie Bowman, president of the organization, says, “Several people sent me photos asking if it was the real thing.” The posters prominently featured a photo of 10-year-old Desmond Napoles, known as Desmond is Amazing in drag, who was the subject of debate thanks to professor and YouTuber Jordan Peterson saying on Twitter that Desmond’s drag was child exploitation.

Desmond’s mother, who runs Desmond’s social media, took to Instagram where Desmond has over 75,000 followers to disavow the poster. “THIS IS DISGUSTING!” the caption reads. “I am offended, angry, and yes, hurt. If you see these signs, please tear them down immediately.” Bowman says she did just that, walking around and pulling the posters down.

It was important for Desmond’s mother to repudiate this vicious campaign. But it’s also important to remember that there is no widespread debate within the LGBTQ+ community over whether or not we should accept pedophiles into our ranks. The trolls are asserting there is, and we validate that argument every time we deal with their claims in earnest.

To be clear, NAMBLA is a real thing. The ACLU even represented them in 2000, though apparently their membership has since waned and they are a husk of what they once were. Still, no one ought to dismiss sexual predation on children, or dismiss attempts to normalize that behavior. The issue at hand, however, is the ongoing campaign to troll “social justice warriors” (SJWs) by manufacturing a relationship between lgbt people and sexual predators that don’t exist.

Take, for example, the attempt last year by a faction of the 4Chan community and pharma bro, fraud, and inmate Martin Shkreli to inject “clovergender” into online discourse. Since debunked by internet sleuths at Snopes, “clovergender” is an invented identity meant to mock nonbinary people by claiming that some adults have not mentally matured past the age of 13 and therefore should be allowed to date underaged people. Shkreli asked people to spread awareness of “clovergender” on Twitter, and the call for volunteers on 4Chan asked for help to “troll SJW’s.”

Besides the obvious goal of causing distress to queer people, the goal of “clovergender” proponents and of the Oregon Pride trolls is bifold: to get cisgender heterosexual people to associate the LGBTQ+ community with sexual predators, and to get the LGBTQ+ community to mount a genuine defense against the accusation that it is harboring pedophiles within our circles, thus, on some level, validating the assertion. These repudiations, while virtuous in intent, still give the trolls what they want. They want to use the preexisting stigma against LGBTQ+ people to demonize us.

Another recently debunked hoax was the “Minor Attracted Persons” flag that emerged in Pride season this year. “Minor Attracted Persons” is indeed a term some pedophiles have attempted to use to breach mainstream acceptance, but the flag appears to be a hoax that, again, was taken at its word. It fits nicely with other hoaxes that use rainbow flag imagery and inclusive language that support pedophilia.

But perhaps the most malicious campaign came in 2016, when a faction of 4Chan users attempted to create a false movement to include the letter “P,” for pedosexuals, into the LGBTQ+ acronym. Snopes has debunked this as well, but what’s most chilling about this campaign is the planning and patience the organizers exhibited when putting it together. “If they want to demand that society accept their horseshit identities, then it’s time we slip in one of our own,” wrote the post’s author. “How do we do this? We convince them that Pedos deserve rights too. Think about it, if this were to catch any traction at all it would only further remove any legitimization they’ve gained.”

Ethan Edwards, a cofounder of the group “Virtuous Pedophiles” who uses a pseudonym, advocates against acceptance of pedophilia and monitors the movements of groups like NAMBLA online. He says he hasn’t seen any attempts on their end to integrate with the LGBTQ+ community. “Perhaps there is some genuine pedophile somewhere pushing this new rainbow flag. Maybe a few others are trying to infiltrate LGBT+ groups by the backdoor,” he says over email. “But I haven't seen any evidence of this in a group setting.”

That hasn’t stopped some well-meaning LGBTQ+ people from speaking out against this alleged movement. Attitude, a UK-based gay mag, ran a story on the supposed “MAPS” Pride flag, which, again, is a hoax. It’s completely understandable why one might exercise an abundance of caution by calling this out, but it still validates a false premise that this is part of some larger movement.

It’s also worth noting that oppression of LGBTQ+ people in the modern day relies on the falsehood that the LGBT people are child predators. In Russia, for example, Vladimir Putin said in 2014 that gay people would be safe at the Sochi Winter Olympics so long as they “leave kids alone.” It’s a not-so-subtle reminder that people often invoke the safety of children when trying to legislate against the LGBTQ+ community.

But obvious troll campaigns like these, while they do invoke that reality, must be dealt with on a different level. Our current political climate is an example of what happens when we assume every argument, no matter how ridiculous or odious, has merit and must be met halfway. It’s how we ended up with Donald Trump, whose litany of ridiculous and bombastic statements, like assertions that Mexicans are rapists, earned him even more coverage but little accountability.

What is grooming?

Grooming is a form of sexual abuse, and if you meet the person who is grooming you they may try to sexually assault you, which is when they touch you in a sexual way that you don’t agree to.

They might use secrecy, blame, gifts or threats of violence to stop you from telling somebody. This is because they know that if you tell someone what’s happening, they will no longer have power or control over you.

How does grooming happen?

Sometimes it starts by a person trying really hard to be nice to you, giving you more and more attention or buying you gifts to make you like them. When they have gained your trust and you start to depend on them, they find ways to turn the relationship into something more sexual – abusing your trust and taking advantage of you.

You may not realise that this is what’s happening to you, as the abuser will try and use many different ways to take advantage of you, including saying that they are your boyfriend and girlfriend.

Grooming also happens online. ‘Groomers’ might try to make friends with you on social networks or other sites. They often use chat rooms pretending to be someone else – maybe someone younger, older, a different gender or different sexuality. They often use profile pictures of someone else to hide their identity, and talk to you like they are a similar age to you when they are not.

Even if they do not try to meet with you, the person trying to groom you my encourage you to visit pornographic websites, talk to you about sexual experiences, or ask you to send them pictures or switch on your webcam and do things which you may feel uncomfortable about. All of these things may be forms of sexual abuse.

It’s important to think carefully about who you talk to, and especially about what personal details you share. Being groomed affects many young people who often ask 'why is this happening to me?', so it’s also important to remember that this is not your fault, and to know that you can get help.

How do I know if I’m being groomed?

It can be difficult working out whether someone is trying to groom you. There are some Early Warning Signs things that might help you realise that someone is acting in a way that isn’t ok.

Try asking yourself a few questions:

•Did they ask for really personal information about you or someone else, especially early on in your ‘relationship’?

•Do they want you to keep your ‘relationship’ a secret from other people?

•Do they want to meet with you alone or in secret?

•Do they want you to send them pictures of you or of other people, and/or want to send you pics of themselves?

•Do you feel pressured into doing or saying things that make you feel uncomfortable?

•Have they asked about your sexual experience, or how you feel about doing certain sexual things?

•Do they send or give you gifts or things that you think are either excessive such as things that are very valuable, or very personal or are very ‘grown up’, such as alcohol, tobacco or drugs?

•Do they ask you to move your webcam so they can see certain things?

•Do they seem to already know things about you that you haven’t told them?

•Are they over 18 whilst you are under 18? (although you can be groomed by people your own age)

These are just a few of the signs that someone could be trying to groom you, even if you believe they are your boyfriend or girlfriend. If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then it’s important that you talk to someone preferably an adult you can trust, but if not then your friends about what is happening. And remember, if something doesn’t feel right even slightly then it probably isn’t.

“They are not grooming me they are my boyfriend/girlfriend, and I think I’m in love”

It can be difficult to realise or recognise that you are a victim of grooming. Quite often the person who is grooming you will want you to think that you are in a relationship with them, and that they are your boyfriend or girlfriend. But what is really happening could be child sexual abuse whether you know them or not, whether they are pretending to be a different person or are using their own details, the only reason a groomer gains your trust is to persuade or trick you into doing something sexual with them.

However old you are, sex should always be consensual. Remember you’re allowed to say no, you should never be pressured into doing something you don’t want to, and if someone does try to force you into doing something sexual, they are breaking the law.

Below are some things that people may say to pressure you to have sex with them and some things that you can say that help you say no.

“If you loved me you’d do it.”

If you loved me you, (a) wouldn’t have just said that, and (b) would respect my decision.

“Everyone else is doing it.”

I’m not everyone else

“You’re frigid.”

No. I’m just comfortable with who I am and what I want.

I’ve made loads of friends online before – so why shouldn’t I meet this one?

Children and young people often make lots of friends online. Although most of these friendships stay online, sometimes you may meet these people in real life too – such as if you are into the same band, or the same sports team. But it can be difficult to know if the person you are talking to online is really who they say they are, so it’s not a good idea to meet up with someone just because they want to have a relationship with you or get to know you better.

The best rule is that what starts online, stays online. And if you’re not sure or feel uncomfortable about anything that someone is saying to you online, talk to an adult you can trust or your friends about what is happening, and block the person, or leave the chat room or forum where you’ve been talking to them. You can find more information about staying safe online at other places on this website.

Even if you do decide that you want to meet someone who you have got to know online, there are some important rules which everyone children and young people as well as adults should follow:

•Check as much as you can (age, school, address etc) to make sure they are the person they say they are you can’t be too cautious.

•Tell an adult you trust about meeting this person, who they are, and when and where you’re meeting.

•Call them with an unlisted number turn your caller ID sending off (remember text messages always give your number), and call rather than text, as you can tell a lot from someone’s voice.

•Arrange to meet somewhere public, and be sure to bring either two or more friends or a trusted adult.

•Even if you’ve arranged to meet, still don’t put too much personal information on your social networking pages they may not turn up, but they can still use that information.

What can I do?

Grooming is often quite difficult to recognise. Many children and young people don’t realise that they are being groomed, or that what is happening or has happened is abuse. Sometimes you might even think you are being groomed when someone is just trying to be friendly.

But as it’s your safety at stake, it is always better to be over-cautious. You may feel worried, sad or angry if you think you are being groomed, or you’re worried that a friend is, and it can be really hard to deal with this all on your own. However, lots of people find that if they talk to someone it can help. Some things you can do are:

•Tell an adult you trust. This could include a teacher, a family member, your youth worker or support worker. Tell them what is going on and ask for their help and advice. With this adult, you could develop a safety plan that would help you to choose how best to keep yourself safe.

•If you have been sexually assaulted or sexually abused, speak to a doctor or a nurse so they can check that you are ok and give you any medical help.

•Talk to your friends. A good friend will listen to you and may help you speak to an adult.

•Think about reporting it to the police. If the grooming has taken place online, you should also report what’s happened to the websites or forums where you met and chatted to the person who groomed you.