weird slice of sunshine

But for some people, it would feel like one. There are people for whom posts like that cause great distress. Not because they think those posts actually work, but because those posts prey on anxiety disorders by exploiting the way anxious brains function. It’s an inherently cruel thing to do and I do not blame anyone who is unwilling to take the ‘chance,’ because regardless of whether or not they genuinely believe their mom will be affected, the emotional distress caused by having seen and not reblogged the post is not worth it. 

I do not suffer from this particular brand of anxiety. But I do have anxiety about other, equally unlikely things. So I can empathize with people for whom these types of chain posts cause genuine distress, and I can recognize how needlessly cruel the posts themselves are–particularly because people who DO reblog them often do so at the expense of followers, or at the risk of getting rude comments about how ‘gullible’ they are, or even angry remarks from other anxiety sufferers who start blaming the victim instead of blaming the person who created the damn post in the first place. 

My point in creating this post was simply to attempt to ease the anxiety of those who are negatively impacted by those types of chain posts. It has nothing to do with whether or not I actually believe that ignoring that post puts my mom in danger. I don’t. If I’d had even a modicum of doubt about that, I wouldn’t have taken the chance. 

But hopefully a few fellow anxiety sufferers now have ammunition against the part of their brains that torments them with that whispered “but what if…?” every time they see the post (or others like it). 

Straight.

Curved.

Flamberge.

I didn’t even have to think about asexuals. I’ve been using swords for sexual folks, and asexuals aren’t always into that. They can be, but aren’t always. So, I picked something that hacks and cuts and slices but ain’t a sword. Ace people, you are now axes.

Demiromantic people only fall for people whom they know intimately (I mean really well, you degenerates). So, I picked this thing because it takes a fuckton of practice to get good. Demis, take a bow.

Androgyny refers to peeps who are simultaneously masculine and feminine, as far as I can tell. Folks, this is a matchlock rifle combined with an axe. Because it’s badass. So are you.

Dude, I made this silly little thing to help me remember all the different kindsa stuff. I keep forgetting them but the swords help.

I live in Connecticut and am on the Husky D Medicaid plan for low-income households. This is the only plan I know of that I can be on that also provides coverage for transgender surgery, which is important to me, as I am a trans woman. But with a cutoff limit of $17,000 annual income, I haven’t been able to find a job that allows me to keep the insurance I need until I have my surgery in September.

I currently have $917.97 to my name. My monthly rent is $1080. Car insurance is $394.84 monthly. My electrical bill, for some ungodly reason, usually costs upwards of $200 a month for my small apartment where all I run is my computer and a space heater and a few lights. Add in food and gas and I’ve been running about $2200 a month. And I need to get to September. Actually, I really need to get to December, because the surgery will put me out of commission for three months. If I last that long, I will be trying to find a job the entire time, so that I can start living my best life upon recovery.

So, I need $22,000. It’s a lot to ask, I know. But if I can raise that much money over the next few months, I’ll be able to live out my life instead of dying in some gutter at 29. Please, please help me if you can.

Car insurance was paid successfully. Now I’m at $199.44 and I need to pay rent and electric. Electric is $97.72 and rent is around $1000, it changed but I’m not 100% sure what it changed to. I really should have written it down. Also, my internet bill is coming up on the 15th, and since I’ve been using it for a year here, they jacked up the price to $83. I’m going to try to call them and see if I can get something cheaper, but right now that’s what they’re charging me.

I donated $70 but that can only do so much, please reblog if you can’t donate.

Today, that sentiment reads like Albert Einstein’s famous 1895 school report, in which a Munich schoolmaster wrote that the 16-year-old future genius physicist and conceiver of the theory of relativity “will never amount to anything”.

But 11 years, 22 films and $18.8 billion in Marvel’s coffers later, Downey’s Tony Stark looks a lot like the single most inspired piece of casting in modern motion pictures. An actor no-one wanted to work with was playing a superhero with no special powers in a film no-one had asked for. Then he became the centre of the cinematic universe.”

We are mentally ill.

We are many.

We are not crazy.

We are ill.

We want your acceptance and understanding

Because

He was my comfort and my best friend

My last wish for him would be this picture of him in a sweater to go viral

a comic about someone who gets a visit from the reaper a bit sooner than expected, but has someone whos been waiting for them 

When I see a happy gay couple out on the streets just casually holding hands. It just makes me happy that they’re that happy and no one is judging them!

My friends. I know my friends are always there for me and can cheer me up when I’m down. Just seeing them makes me happy.

Drawing. I love to draw! Do you want me to post one of my drawings? (I’m not very good, but I like drawing anyways).

Music! I’m a hugeee music person and I listen to music all day with my headphones.

Tumblr! I love to just be scrolling through my feed and looking at all my favourite blogs and what they’ve posted.

Bonus: I love the colour yellow!!

2. This place. Tumblr. The place full of fandom and weirdness. I can be my full self here.

3. Friends. I may not have many but the ones I have, are the best people ever.

4. Music. I play guitar, ukulele and trying to learn piano. I love it.

Also, when we move too much during an argument, or lean forward, it’s scary, and I never knew. I was even a little insulted at first, because surely she didn’t think I would hurt her. But see, that doesn’t matter. It wasn’t a sign that she mistrusted me specifically; it’s a conditioned response. (Although if you keep doing it once you realize it scares her, she SHOULDN’T trust you.)

Not every woman has been physically harmed by a man she trusted, but every woman KNOWS a woman who has.

I used to be horrible about this, because I didn’t realize how intimidating it was. I didn’t understand why the woman I was with clammed up or tried to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear, and I only got angrier, and acted even more like an asshole. It was wrong. It was abusive. It didn’t matter if I INTENDED it that way; it was still emotionally abusive. And it was inexcusable.

I get that when passions are high, and when you’re frustrated, it’s a natural tendency to let your voice get louder, to shout and gesture and lean forward. But you can train yourself to do better. You can train yourself to keep more of an even tone, to refrain from large and fast gestures, to not lean into her personal space. I did. I’m not perfect at it yet, but goddamn it, I WILL be.

History is littered with the bodies of women who believed a man “would never.” This includes women killed by men who honestly, deeply, truly believed they “would never”… right up until she said that one thing or moved in just that way and he just got so mad, just that once, and pushed her or punched her or slashed her or shot her… just once, y’know, to shut her up, or because she was flinching and didn’t she know that HE’S NOT LIKE THAT and I’LL TEACH HER TO BE AFRAID OF ME…

We are trained, from infancy, that Men With Loud Voices are a source of pain from which we cannot escape, and attempts to escape may result in more pain. And as soon as we’re old enough to comprehend a world broader than our immediate circle, a world that extends into the past and will run into the future, we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men “would never” and which men “would never… except if.”

We live or die on that “if.” And any man who doesn’t like facing that hyper-vigilance can work on fixing OTHER MEN, not women’s fear.

The reaction shouldn’t be “not all men are like that;” it should be “no woman should have to live in fear.”