Weird or Dumb Things Sam Says

Upon seeing a box of cream cheese filled croissants on the table "Did you get these from Pantera Bread?!" 

While watching Whip It "If Juliette Lewis were a real person... i'd be like scared of her" "Like if she told me something I'd be like... ok..."

"Why you no say you love me Pam Grier?!" ~Sam after being upset that after confessing her love to Ms Grier via twitter it may have not been reciprocal love

"that's the one!" Sam while watching For Colored Girls and shopping for a black person (for what reason she is seeking out a black person you must ask her)

Mom: "There's no money on the card. Somebody bought horseshoes." Sam: "For protection?" Me: "She put money on frontierville." Sam: "Oh! I thought she said trojans!"

"Sleeping without a bra is liberating. It's just so comfortable...ler." "Kinda weird if it's not you"

"I got Weaver-Fever... You know like Beiber-fever but Sigourney Weaver!"

"No I want to pretend i'm from somewhere cold. Where is it cold? Missouri? Is Missouri cold?" ~Sam pondering an excuse to wear a beanie in June

Sam said phil collins was hot. after a google search she quickly changed her mind

" if someone rubs their bare butt on your pillow you can get pink eye that way."

"i was freaking out because i dropped my stuff in front of the guy with all those other guys behind me" ~Sam's good time @ the 7-11

"i'm the king of mulatto" ~ricky martin lyrics according to Sam

"I wish I was David Hasslehoff for like... a minute." 

 ~Sam talking about the band Le Tigre

"I think i'm gonna be racist tonight. seriously it's 2 11 and we're going back"

"I love old people. They're so sad & cute at the same time! It's true! Have you not seen an old person?!"

—Sam turning Sick of Sarah lyrics into a song about her hershey pie.