Raine🌧️🌧️

Im so tired of the perspective people have on ptsd, i feel like when someone hears the term they immediately think panic attacks, hallucinations, freaking out, and a danger to yourself and others when thats simply not the truth; and honestly offensive. I have flashbacks EVERY SINGLE DAY and not once have i ever had a freak out, (not to say some people dont do this, they def do; i js dont think its full representation.) ive even had hallucinations and the best way for me to explain it is you suddenly are completely unaware of where you are, (brain blank) then it feels like you’ve walked into a room full of tv’s all playing a tramatic memory and if you dont pull yourself out of it you start to get tunnel vision and actually seeing whatever your thinking about, it just looks like zoning out unless its waking up from a nightmare which is also different; i dont wake up screaming more like ill have a split second where my dad pops up, i feel like im falling and then i jump up in cold sweats. Basically you just temporarily forget where you are and think your still in that moment because you think of it for so long. But thats not even the bad part for me, the part i cant stand is that i feel so exhausted lazy and horrible all at once the anxiety you get when something triggers me is physically sickening, it makes me dizzy and like i actually want to throw up; and then all the sudden im just not even there anymore. I violently shake when sent into shell shock which, IS NOT JUST FOR WAR VETS!!! It can happen to anyone that has went through extreme (usually prolonged) trauma. I start tensing up i have muscle pain all the time bc i dont even relise my whole body is tense, before i got meds i couldnt sleep more then 4 hours for TWO YEARS, my body physically would not let me it would force me awake no matter how tired, i still dont know why. It steals your motivation and energy because you are CONSTANTLY fighting tooth and nail with your brain to snap out of it, and sometimes you cant you cant bring yourself back which is scary idk i js wanted to rant abt it rly

Doomed Yuri bro