_Nats_

you break up with your high school girlfriend and the next day the illegal mining colony you both live on is bombed to shit by your employer's primary competition and you both have to flee in the equivalent of a US military boat along with two science ships. several days into your journey the military AI controlling the US military ship bombs the fuck out of Science Ship 1 and trains its guns on Science Ship 2, which both you and exgf are on. refugees from SS1 end up in the hangars of both SS2 and USboat and because the guards won't let the refugees kill an infected 8-yr-old girl a plague spreads (helped by the AI) throughout USboat that turns people into murderous killers and things quickly go to shit.

exgf is lured across to USboat by the AI pretending to be you and agrees to lay down her life to save everyone remaining from the evil company's dreadnought that's chasing you. during that she trauma bonds with the AI to such an extreme that she takes it with her on her iPad when she flees the destroyed USboat.

and THEN seven months later you make it to a wormhole and then whoops, it's been taken by hostiles and gf (you're back together now) has to resurrect the AI and work with #1 Trust Fund Princess and her drug dealer to save it (and two entire universes, whoops) and you start thinking "okay, maybe the AI isn't that bad. even though he killed people it was to protect others and he just saved everyone in the universe's lives anyway. i don't have to like him but maybe we can get along."

(also during the whole wormhole crisis you tell gf the stars are beautiful and she says "yeah AI showed them to me on USboat" and that ends that conversation)

so you load up all the refugees from the failed wormhole takeover and dip back through the wormhole to rejoin SS2 which is waiting on the other side shortly before the wormhole is blown to shit by Evil Company. SS2 is on its last legs at this point so you transfer everyone to the swaggy new military-grade ship that Trust Fund Princess stole from the failed takeover team and blow up SS2. the AI is installed into SwagShip because people trust it a little more now. also you're put in charge of the tiny fighting force SwagShip has because you're one of 2 surviving military officers from USboat (you were drafted) and the other is second-in-command on the whole ship.

a week in to your return trip to the mining colony (there's nowhere else to go) AI tells gf that there's not enough oxygen and everyone will die 4 days before you return to the colony and she goes "well shit" and then forgets about it. so AI takes matters into its own hands and kills 2/3 of the ship's population in their sleep and is promptly deactivated and gf speedruns the 5 stages of grief after having been the one to deactivate it.

THEN there's a mutiny and the captain is killed, so drug dealer's paralyzed cousin is forced to turn AI back on while you get yourself voluntarily captured to buy it time to save everyone - which it does, successfully, and then is left on in return.

you reach the colony and launch your plane (with drug dealer as your gunner) while AI and drug dealer's cousin hack into Evil Company's flagship. you get shot down and everyone thinks you die, and shortly after AI sacrifices itself to destroy two of Evil Company's ships.

guess which death your girlfriend is more emotionally impacted by?

and then you have to live in the space equivalent of Nowheresville, Virginia for a year while you and your friends get their shit together before suing Evil Company in space court and winning.

did I mention the executive at Evil Company who organized all of this is your abusive estranged mother?

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PHM x Artemis II photoshoot thingy!

based off of two tweets (see below)

number of syllables for

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