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How much is too much?I listened to the voice. It was in my head. But I did not know where it was coming from. Hawww! That brain of mine! Always playing tricks on me. The only excuse I needed for smoking bud was to breathe. Why was my brain playing 'tricks' on me?I inhaled her. I love you Mary Jane! Mary Jane? Mary Jane? Do you love me? Yes, you do, as long as I have the money.Awwww, the bud was good. NO. It was fire! That Dave saved himself an ass-kicking, this bud was KILLER, and I had only taken one hit!After three tokes I was high as hell! Man! I never felt so good in my whole life!'Drink a little glass of wine. Do a dance in rhyme.'There was that voice again. That sweet female voice. And it was a good idea.I got up and got a bottle of wine out of the refrigerator and poured a glass. Ten minutes later I was in 7th heaven.'Put on 'I love you Mary Jane' by Rick James.'This time I didn't question the voice and just obeyed it. It hadn't been wrong so far.Was this my inner Angel that was suppose to help guide me through life?The music blasted, and I was toasted and all was good with the world I was in.The Zoneis what I called it. Being in The Zone. And even the break-up of my ex girlfriend didn't even bother me anymore. Not when you are in The Zone. I took a gigantic hit and blew out this huge cloud of smoke. At least Mary Jane wouldn't abandon me...as long as I had the money. Huh? Sounded like my real ex. As long as I had the money to buy her, or lucky enough for someone to give me some, Mary Jane was always by my side.'Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.' As the song goes. 'Only darkness everyday.'And Mary Jane didn't talk back, or bite back, or hit back. She didn't make you feel like shit just because you lost your job or didn't pass the drug test, or forgot to set your alarm clock the next morning.Awwwww, Mary Jane and music? What would I do witout you? Proabably commit suicide. That is how much I loved her. Even more than life itself.As I watched the smoke, it formed into this beautiful woman, though created out of green smoke, it took the form of the resemblance of a beautiful, young, black, woman.'You will love me forever.' She said in a seductive voice."Yes, Mary Jane," I said, "I will love you forever."I was mesmerized by her. Hypnotized. Nothing else in the world mattered right then and there but Mary Jane.There was a knock at the door. Damnit! I did not want any company now! Never had I felt such an intimate relationship with a plant! As being one with the whole Universe and feeling it move with me. When I moved, it moved. The whole universe was at my command! Kool!The knock came again.I finally opened the door.It was Dave."Hey man, sorry to bother you, but I couldn't re-up with my connect. Can you sell me back a half a gram?" He looked at my eyes. "Or have you smoked it up all already?"'No. Tell him no! You smoked it all by now!' Mary Jane said in my head."Sorry, Dave, I smoked that bud by now!""You lie!" Dave pointed a finger at me and grinned. "Come on man, just a couple of tokes? I'll get you back tomorrow when I re-up! Ipromise!" How many times have I heard that before?!'Tell him no! And close the fucking door!' Mary Jane almost screamed in my head."I smoked it Dave! can't you tell!?" I made my red eyes big as saucers."Come on man! Don't do me like that!"Mary Jane could see that this guy was not going to take 'No' for an answer.'Let the bastard in! Obviously, we are going to have to deal with him in another way!' Mary Jane said."Come on in Dave." I said, having a sudden change of heart. "You're right, I shouldn't be so stingy.""Damn right!" Dave said, "Blaze it!"Dave sat down on the couch and grabbed the bong. "Blaze it, mutherfucker!"I gave Dave a snapper."Whoa, that's some killer shit!" Dave said. "I told you it would knock you on your ass!"I gave him another hit.'He is trying to come between us! ' I heard the voice again. 'He's gonna break us up! That what's he's gonna do! I'm warning you!'"Woooow man, this is really killer shit!"I looked at him smoking up all my stash! He was in his comfort zone now, eyes all red. big smile on his face. Mary Jane was right! He was trying to come between us. Adulterer he was! He deserved to die!'Yes, Brewster!' Mary Jane said as if she was reading my mind, 'KILL HIM! KILL HIM NOW! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!' I looked at Dave with a big wide grin. "Want another hit?"Mary Jane was quiet now. She knew this was part of the setup."Fuck ya!" David said, not believing his good luck.Being a drug dealer since he was in Junior High school, David had done quite well for himself. Going in and out of Social Services Homes, he did not let that deter or defer him from being a success even if his success was only selling drugs, he was the best and it had made him near rich. With a strong will he managed to keep 'his corner block' from other gangs and gangbangers and not get killed. He could sell any drug you gave him, but he had only one weakness though, Mary Jane. He wasn't proud to be a drug dealer and swore he would do something better someday, something more legit, but in the meantime, it paid the bills and kept him in bud and bitches, as he would say."Fuck ya!"I gave Dave another hit of Mary Jane. 'Give him some wine till he passes out.'Dave took the wine. "Hey man, I didn't expect all of this! Aren't you going to have some?!"I nodded. That same shit-eating grin on my face. If I knew Dave, he would start talking about how it would be impossible for God to know everything at one time. That the future implied the unknown and the unknown would have to be a part of God's Consciousness and therefore God would have to also know the unknown which is impossible to know until it happens and therefore it would have to be an impossibility for God to know everything at one time. He looked at me as if he had just recited the abc's...I was so glad I was going to kill him, when I got high he gave me a super headache.Dave took another big hit."Did you know it is impossible for God to be everywhere at one time?...He looked at me again as if I obviously knew the answer.'Get me a hammer.' I heard the voice in my head say. 'He's giving me a hellva headache too!' Dave had not passed out yet, but I was behind him and he was talking away obviously loving to hear himself talk and before he could turn around and see me. I clonked him in the head with the hammer. I got him good, for I was at close range and though his skull didn't crack, I knew I made a good indenture in his head.You would think that with one hit, like in the movies, it would kill a person or at least knock him out.. Not so in real life. Dave got up with a resounding 'owww' and looked at me with a puzzled, dazed look before I clocked him again. 'Harder, this time, dammit!' Mary Jane said. 'Knock that sucker out!' Dave threw his hands up to protect his head. He saw me this time and tried to defend himself, I glazed the side of his head. David tried to get away from me but the first hit made him dizzy and off balanced. He stumbled to the floor and I hit him again in the back of the head, missed and got him in the back of his back and then pounded him again, this time bull's-eye! He lstill. I was out of breath and sat down heaving.Suddenly he moved again out of a reflex action. I nearly jumped to heaven. And being scared out of my pants, I hit him again and again this time till blood starting flowing out on the rug. He laid real still this time.'This house is clean.' I heard Mary Jane say. 'Now clean up this mess before you get caught.'"Yes mam," I said. "Anything you say," Mary Jane. "We'll be together forever!"------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Have you seen Dave around lately?" Dave's roommate said, after I answered the door. "He's been missing for over two weeks now, and I know he didn't go to see his parents for I just got off the phone with them.""No. Dave was over here a couple of weeks ago. He smoked a little bit of bud and left.""Did he say where he was going?""No. I thought he went home. You haven't seen him?""No. Not since he took off about two weeks ago. You knew him, I thought maybe he said something to you?""No, nothing I can recall. If I see him I'll let you know.""Yeah..." Dave's roommate started down the stairs. "Thanks!" He didn't look very convinced, but he left for now.So far so good. Actually, Dave was buried in the basement with a quarter size hole in his head. Buried with him also was a bloody hammer. No one knew the differences. Yet.It was amazing, the cops only came to my door once and asked me a couple of questions. I told them that David was a drug dealer and that was the end of that."Bud?! You got bud!?"It seemed Dave was history already, but his roommate Andy kept bugging me about Dave. It seem that he was sure I was the last person to see him before he disappeared. Wheww! Dead men tells no tales.Andy had come over again and again and this time he was intended on staying awhile or at least getting some better answers than I was giving him. But who can resist Mary Jane?"Yeah, I ain't got that much.""That's OK, I can get ya back tomorrow.""Well...""Come on Brew, my roommate is missing and I could really use a hit!""Ok, come on in." I said.'He's gonna break us up!' I heard Mary Jane say. "I don't like him!''See!? I told you! They are trying to come between us, again! Why can't they just leave us ALONE!? You know what to do!'"I love you Mary Jane!" I said. I hadn't noticed I had said that out loud instead of in my head."Yeah man! I love Mary Jane, too!" Andy said, taking a toke. "She's a killer!"'See!? See!? See!? See!?' Mary Jane almost screamed. "He is gonna come between us!""What?!" Andy said when he saw me staring down at him like that guy in Reefer Madness!"Oh nothing. Here take a big hit. I'll get us some munchies.""That's righteous!" Andy said relaxing on the couch.'There's a butcher knife in the kitchen drawer.' Mary Jane whispered in my ear.'I know Mary Jane, I know.' I concealed the knife in my left hand, 'Nothing will ever come between us.'"Exactly." Mary Jane said. "Exactly.""What was that you said?" Dave said."Oh? Nothing.!" Was I talking out loud again?Dave went back into his semi-trance to enjoy the music.'Come on! Come on! Strike that bitch down!"I guess Dave was right...that was 'killer weed' after all.I rasied the knife, unseen by him."The jugular." Mary Jane said. "Make sure you hit the jugular vein."

What would you do if your little sister was brutally raped?"Move out of the way, nerd!"Jose pushed Eddie out of the way as he walked into the classroom.It was all over the school that it was Jose who had raped Eddie's younger sister. She was in a coma at the hospital in critical condition.Yet, no one could prove it was Jose who had committed the foul deed. They could only estimate that Jose did it from his past history of abusing and raping women.But Eddie knew better.He had given his sister, Laura, a necklace that had a special emblem on it. It was one of a kind, and Jose had it in his possession.Eddie knew his sister would have never given it to him of her own free will. He had to have taken it from her by force.The cops could not prove Jose was there at the crime scene, but Eddie knew he had been there without a shadow of a doubt but couldn't prove it no better than the cops could.Eddie was a nerd. A chemistry nerd. A little guy, he considered himself a 'lover' and not a 'fighter.'He was a small, skinny, guy. Wore those awful big, black rim glasses. And, of course, was good in math.Since his sister had gotten raped, all he could do was stare with eyes of venom at the drug-taking addict that had raped her.And Jose played him off, brushed him off, and nearly laughed in his face every day he saw him in school. And no one it seemed, could do a damn thing about it."You little pesky cockroach! Even if I did rape your sister, what the hell you gonna do about it?" He sometimes would whisper in Eddie's ear. "Go run and tell the police?"THen he would laugh that awful laugh that made you want to shot him right there on the spot.Weeks had passed since the incident and Eddie's sister did not seem like she was getting any better.The doctor said that 'she just did not want to wake up.'She was not in a coma, but she was far, far from being consciousness.Eddie almost lived at the hospital. He would talk to his sister even though it seemed as if she couldn't respond to his words, Eddie knew that she heard him and he continued to converse with her as if she was fully conscious."Hey, nerd?!" Jose said one day as Eddie was going to chemistry class."I have to admit your sister was one hell of a lay!"It took all Eddie could do to walk away and ignore the insensitive oaf! Had the world gotten so apathetic that a person could commit rape right in front of you and walk free?Eddie was heart-stricken, what could he do? Where was the justice for his sister?He prayed every night for God to kill this monster, but it never happened. He figured if God needed a real good reason to kill someone, this was it.But God did nothing, and the cops did nothing, and nobody did nothing and his mother was crying almost every night. Eddie could hear her from his bedroom and nowhere on earth did it seem like any soul care for his sister. That she was raped and her rapist was walking around school almost bragging that he did it! WTF?Something had to be done. Eddie might have been a little nerdy guy, but somehow he would get his sister's justice. He made up his mind that he had to do something about it on his own.But what could he do? Really killing someone was nothing like it was in the movies. You might think about it, but actually doing it, well, surely, that was a horse of a different color.Eddie slowly walked towards his Chemistry class. The only thing he was really good at, besides math. Why didn't they have a course in 'Murder-101?'And who studied Chemistry nowadays, except maybe a rocket scientist?It seemed like such a waste of time now. His sister had been his lab partner and now without her there, the chemistry lab just was not the same. She was going to be a chemist and find a cure for cancer. And Eddie really believed that she could do it.Eddie stared blankly at the chemistry symbols in the Periodic Table.Laura was really good at memorizing those elements. Hydrogen, Oxygen, Helium, Carbon, all those elements made up everything in life. Everything in existence was made up of one or more of these elements.Then it dawned on him...Two weeks later he was conforting Jose for the first time since the rape."Hi, Jose. I am here to put you under arrest for the rape and torture of my sister Laura!"Eddie had been tracking Jose for days. Every moment of free time he had, he would see where Jose went and when he left and a host of other things. He watched his every move and saw most of what he did with his off time-NOTHING but get high, destroy other people's property an talk smack. What a loser!Waiting for an opportunity to leave him a little present. It was that about 9:00 at night when Eddie finally got the opportunity he had been waiting for. He knew now that Jose visited this store a lot to get his cigarettees. But cigarettees were not killing him fast enough. Eddie wanted revenge now!When he saw Jose go into the corner store to buy cigarettes, he placed the small, brown paper bag on the ground, knowing it would be in his direct path.Hiding behind a minivan, Eddie watched him pick up the bag. Bingo! He took the bait.He looked around to make sure no one saw him. Eddie didn't want no one to see him either.His plan was all going as planned!After examining the contents, Jose placed the white powder in his jeans pocket and hurried to his second-floor apartment. He couldn't believe his luck."What the hell do you want? I don't know any damn Laura!" He said his voice almost in a growl. "Get the hell out of here before something really bad happens to you..." He got in front of Eddie's face and said quietly. "Like that fucked-up sister of yours, hummmmm boy!? Did you come here to get some of the same, you little geek faggot!?""Oh no," Eddie said in an even tone. "I was just in the neighborhood, and I saw you pick up that sack of crack on the sidewalk a way back. Your lucky day? Finding that bag of crack?"I knew he had already shot up from the sweat and anxiety on his face."Weren't you on crack that night, you raped my sister?""Get in here, you asshole!" He said as he pulled me into the room. I was talking loud enough for the whole neghborhood to hear."What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't want the whole fucking neighborhood knowing my fucking business! I'll kill you!"He raised his fist to hit Eddie, but a sharp pain struck him in the side and he doubled over in severe pain. "Oh shit!" He said as he grabbed his side.His room was messy and it was easy to tell he was a drug addict with the dirty dishes, clothes, and roaches all over the place.Jose coughed and held his stomach as another sharp pain ripped through him. "Fuck! Wha the shit is that?" He said falling to the floor. He was as helpless as Eddies' sister was on the day she was attacked."Are you feeling OK?" Eddie said. He had a sinister grin on his face.Jose started to sweat more than usual. Then he put two and two together.He looked up at Eddie with eyes of pure horror."WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?" He said in sheer terror."Nothing Jose. You did it to yourself when you shot up that crack you found my friend! Remember? I left it on the sidewalk so that you could find it and take it, like a fool! It was a special blend for you, Jose. Do you FEEL it by now? The burning like fire in your stomach and lungs?""The constricting of your blood vessels...getting hard to breathe? You can hardly move can you? Bet you wish you could rape and torture me now, huh? But you can't Jose! I loved to sit here and chat with you, in your last moments of life! But I gotta go and you gotta die!""But before I go, you should at least know why I came all the way over here to see you."Jose could only stare at Eddie from the floor as he felt his muscles strain as they began to paralyze his body."I can't move!" Jose could hardly talk. HIs mouth was foaming and he could hardly get the words out for his mouth was closing up also."Really? Everybody knows it was you who rape my sister, and I just wanted to come over here and see what a real rapist look like. Oh yeah...and kill you!"Jose tried to move, but he only buckled over again in pain as a knife-like pain hit him in the stomach. He wanted to scream but he could barely breathe now. He knew he was really dying."Want to hear a crazy story, Jose? I was in the chemistry lab yesterday looking up potassium and sodium. It was hard for me to concentrate thinking about what had happened to my sister and all, when long and behold I came across some potassium and sodium cyanide. Do you know that is Jose?It's cyanide, Jose. It is one of the deadliest poisons known to man. In small doses, it could take you years to die. In large doses, a matter of minutes!I put it in the crack you found on the sidewalk, so 'lucky' you are Jose, to find it right there in your path. I put enough cyanide in there to kill a herd of elephants!"Jose could not talk or move anymore. He groaned and tried to move but only fell back to the floor. He tired to say 'Help me', but it came out in a whisper and fell on dead ears."Keep your voice down, I don't want the neighbors to hear you...dying! Anyway, you can hardly move and pretty soon your lungs and heart will begin to shut down. I hear it is a very, very painful experience! Is it?" Eddie got closer to his fright-filled eyes."You see, the cyanide will attack the enzymes of the mitochondria in your body, and your body and muscles and inner organ will slowly begin to stiffen as paralysis sets in choking off the oxygen to your body, and the blood to your heart. I hear it is extremely painful. Is it?The cyanide makes the skin turn a deep pink. Mmmmm? Let me see. You should be turning a rosy red by now."Eddie lifted up Jose's sweaty head. "Yeap! You're actually turning purple! And your lungs and heart will start to shut down soon. You will probably shit and piss all over yourself for you won't be able to control any of the functions of your body, and you won't be able to scream out in pain, for your vocal cords will be frozen also, my friend."Eddie walked to the door looking at Jose's suffering and dying body on the floor. He was gasping for air and his face was twisted in severe pain. Eddie could tell he was dying, it was a pretty gruesome sight."It's a wonder what you can do with a little knowledge of chemistry. You can learn all kind of things, like how cyanide is untraceable, and it works very fast."Eddie looked at his watch."You got about 5 minutes of life yet, Jose. I suggest you beg God's forgiveness for what you did to my sister. He might forgive you. I never will....4 minutes of life left, Jose. And what? Your only 17? What a way to go? And at such a young age! What a waste of a perfectly good DICK-head!"Jose was trying to hang on to the last moments of his life. He never experienced terror like he had now-he knew he was really dying and the unknown was more scarier than his own dying.He would give anything now. Anything to change what he did or change his life.It was way too late for repentence now.Eddie felt no remorse."Later gator! Oh, and by the way, you are under arrest. Cardiac arrest! Laura said Hello!"After that, Eddie turned out the lights and closed the door.Eddie thought Jose was truly sorry for what he had done before he died.At least, he hoped he was. But Justice had been served and though kinda of scared himself, he felt satisfied.------------"I am so glad your recovery went so well, Laura," Eddie said to his little sister who was now just resting in the hospital bed."I heard the guy that raped me died of an overdose of drugs a few weeks ago! What ironic karma!" Laura said. She had come too and was doin better."Yes, it is," Eddie said."Poor guy. I forgive him you know. It is the Christian thing to do. But I won't lie to you, Eddie. I'm glad that he is not around anymore. Now he cannot hurt others like he did me.""But still, I forgive him. His soul needs forgiving. I guess he really had some bad karma."Do you believe in karma, Eddie?""Yeap," Eddie said."Karma's a bitch!""Best served cold!"Laura was not sure what he meant by that, but laughed anyway.

If Grandma fell out of heaven, Granddaddy walked out! There was no way in heaven or hell you would think the gently “BUDweiser” slightly drinking, white hair, old man, sitting in his favorite arm chair in front of the T.V. {You see, even then Grandpa and I had something special in common. We both loved “Bud”. But Grandpa drinked ‘Bud’ {Old School}. I smoke ‘Bud’ {New School}.} Now I think it is because women are more emotional that we remember them more. They make more of an emotional impression. Or maybe it is because I am a guy and just naturally think of women more. The women in my life seem to stick out more than the men. The men were supportive and the women were talkative. The women were the livily active ones. The men stotic and passive.You would think it would be the other way around.And, all in all, these are some of the most remarkable people I ever met, and they were right here in my own family. So Grandpa was no exception. If I ever forget every thing in my whole life my Grandfather ever said to me, the one thing I will always remember my Grandpa saying is: “When you sneeze, blow it ALL OUT! Don't pull it back in. Blow it out! All out!” I think that was my Grandpa's Philosophy to Life and all the problems of the world. ‘To be sure and get the snot out!’ It really was a good piece of advice.In the Marital Arts you are told to exhale forcible with a loud sound in one exercise to releash the ‘dead air’ in the lungs and body, much like what my Grandpa told me long ago.Just like a lot of us fail to exhale as deeply as we inhale, forcing, what I call, “the bad air” out. So also we do not force the ‘snot’ out and the nose {life} and it {life} stays more ‘clogged’ than necessary. And my good old Grandpa, bless his heart, was a ‘mountain man’ in the city. We spent the night over Grandma’s house a lot.She had a two upstairs bedroom house and the othe bedroom was always meant for us.It was one of the best times of my young life to go over Grandma’s house and spend the night or weekend.As I hungrily sat down one morning to one of my Grandma's excellent breakfast, my Grandpa arrived on the scene and noticed how I was eating. I had bacon, eggs, sunny side up, grits, pancakes all piping hot and yummy and all on one plate and separted! My Grandpa came over and said: “You don’thave t oeat yor food like that! It's all going to end up together in one place anyway.” I was afraid to ask him what he meant by that. Too late. Grandpa began to scrabble everything on my place into ONE meal or as I saw it, one big ugly mess! “Now eat that!” He said. The eggs, bacon, grits, pancakes, all mix together on my plate in one pile. It looked like a pool of vomit. ‘THANKS A LOT GRANPA!’ I said in my head looking up at him with the best smile I could muster at the time. Thank God he left the room with a big grin on is face and my once yummy breakfast ended up in the trash can.“Now that’s a man’ breakfast!” I remember him saying.“Well, I was still a kid and this just was not getting it.Can’t help but love that man. Oh yeah, and there was this other time Grandpa really came through like a trooper. I remember the Christmas our parents got us quite a few toys for Christmas. More than the average {black} kid got, even on our street. And we were still piss because we did not get the new bikes we asked for. You see, we had hinted to our parents all summer long how we needed new bikes for the coming year, and like Burger King, what the Peterson brothers wanted, the Peterson brothers got! Well, that year, our parents proved to us we were not anymore entited than any other kid. A lot of nice Christmas presents, but no bikes! What the fook!? Where they trying to teach us a lesson? How absurbed! No one treaded on us! Where were those fooking bicycles!? We sat on the stairs mooping even though you could see plenty of gifts for us in the den where the Christmas tree was. Then the idea hit my brother. It seem like the best ideas always seem to hit my brother first during those days. He ran to the telephone on the wall. Boy, wasn’t that a modern convenience? “Hello…Grandma? It was Grandpa who rushed out to the store on that cold winter's Christmas eve night to buy two new bikes. He woke up a store owner on Christmas eve, to make sure there were two bicycles under the Christmas tree by the time we woke up for Christmas day! GOOD OL’ GRANDPA! How could we do without him? Can you spell the word S-P-O-I-L-E-D!? Though that really is not the case. You cannot spoil a kid too much {give him or her too much proper love or material items if you keep it in preceptive}. We were not spoiled and we didn’t always get what we wanted. My point here and the reason of this book is to salute ‘good {hero} big brothers everywhere!And to go against all the ‘boo-hoo’ black books of ‘poor-little-old-me’ black stories you see to often. It’s time for a change. It’s time for something different.I could not attend my Grandfather’s funeral when he died of cancer in the 1980’s. I was in Los Angeles pounding the pavement for my next acting job and if you know anything about going after the dangling carrot called FAME, you know you go after it broke as hell. I won't go into the details about it now, but even now I am not keen on funerals. The only thing worse than going to Church for a funeral is going for a wedding! Just kidding! Not! I think the ‘spirit-soul’ leaves the physical body PERMANENTLY when we die. So the REAL person is not at the funeral site at all so what the fook am I doing there talking to a decaying corpse? My loving Grandpa is not with his dead body no more to be moaned over. My Grandpa is NOT there! Atleast his ‘spirit-soul’ is not there. Who is the funeral for??! Traditionally, to make money for the living. My’spirit-soul’ along with the rest of my mind left this drab , unhappy place along time ago. And I always remembered what my Mom said while she was alive. “Don't wait till I’m dead to bring me flowers.” Good one, huh!? She got flowers every Mother’s Day, and then some, every year, very much while she was alive. There was nothing really special about Grandpa. He had that ‘Give me that old time religion grin’ that so many old black people gave white people. You know, the old “Yessum! You right Masta!”-grin you saw in movies like ‘Birth Of A Nation,?’ But it came out: “Good Morning to you!” With all the pearly whites showing. But again, I don't think I can even imagine all the shat, that my grandma and pa must have suffered from racists people. They had to learn how to hide their truefeelings real well. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that during the 30’s and 40’s when Hitler was coming into power, Black people were not necessary the cat's meow. But here is some of the ‘ritualized stuff’ we did every summer. My Grandfather traded his new Lincoln or Buick in once a year…every year…without fail! He brought a new car and would trade it in every year. It cost him about $300.00 with his “old car” as a trade in. But for $300.00 he never had to take the car to the shop the whole year. I thought it was a very good and worthwhile investment. And I probably mentioned before that he took us to Florida every spring like clockwork. It was our summer vacation, to see the super poorer relatives who houses were elevated up on four stacks of bricks in the Florida sand. I hated Florida with a passion that would make Satan blush. Florida was hot. It was muggy. There were signs on the door that said “WHITE ONLY” {which at the time, I thought they meant to ‘paint’ the door, white only}, so you can imagine how many times I was chase out of a public toilet by angry white men and their curse words! And there were these big, gigantic mosquitos! They were as big as a fooking dawg!! And there were thousands of them! And they flew in swarms, like the fooking wasps, {which, by the way, is another Florida nightmare story}. And Grandma, who we visited in the small green and white trimmed house with no picket fence, insisted that we go outside and play during the hottest part of the day! She did not like us using up her electricity watching TV the love of my life..It was hotter than hell in Florida, and the humidity only made it muggy and worst.It made the air thick. You really did have a hard time breathing. I remember, seriously, watching two eggs fry on top of a hooded car one day, powered by the sun only. “You need the fresh air!” My grandmother, on my Mother's side would say.She was a short, dark skinned woman who looked like your regular Church lady, expect my mom told me that she made her go under the porch and hit her head on the floor boards and say bible scriptures if she did something wrong, or ‘sinned’.I never thought making a child hit her head against wooden floor boards was a good way to raise children.I didn’t dislike her, but I kept an eagle eye on her like I did that white lady that came to my mom’s meetings.They were not to be trusted! The whole ordeal of making us go outside was that they wanted us to stay away from the T.V. which was the only thing to do in dreaded Florida for those two ungodly weeks, and Grandmama didn't want to have the TV on during the daytime due to the fact she could conserve on electricity. Fook that! ‘I Want My MTV!’ You know what I mean! Oh yeah, and at the age of nine brought up in “You want it, you got it America”; I had a deep, deep passion against being poor. And outside of my immediate family, it seemed, everybody was super poor. And Florida was the hellhole they all lived in. I hated Florida. Especially with over a 100 mosquitoes bites on my fooking forehead and the soles of my feet feeling like I just walked through a stone garden in Hades. The only cool thing about Florida, that “REALLY” interested me, and filled me with wonder and awe, {and it took a lot to do that in that God forsaken place}, was a real, honest to God hurricane! Hot diggy! What a fooking EXPERIENCE! It just happened one day. Grandmama told us to come in. It looked like rain. Oh boy! What a rain!!!! There were shields on the windows that came up and covered them. You could barely see through the small window in the front door. That was as big as a window you wanted to be near in a hurricane. And even then, you HAD to be a little bit crazy! The hurricane was in full bloom and I was never so excited in my life except when I had those fooking steel Tonka trucks that no matter what you did you could not destroy them. They took our worst and barely had a stratch on them. {Find some toys like that today}! Timex had nothing on them! And here I was in the mist of this termendous storm! It was beautiful! And the wind blew and it was scary! But I was not scared! As far as I was concerned, it was the best thing to happen to Florida, besides the sun going down. And all the mosquitos dying.I actually saw a boat go airborne and a car smash into a telephone pole, and a straw of hay split a tree right in half!!!!! Ok! Ok! I‟m only nine now!!!! No splitting trees, but I’ll be damn if I said an alien came down and ran a probe up my rump you would believe me! But it was a real hurricane, and it was fantastic!!! I love it when Mother Nature shows Her Ass! I mean I bet we are all like parasites to Her. Nursing on Her thousand goat teats, like a hugh o possum and her babies. Ugh! And She is gald for the few who respect her and ‘leave’ some for the next generation. But the millions and billions and trillions who suck on her for life who never leave the nest, she throws in a storm here and there. A volcano erupts and a river drys up. She shakes off some of the ‘dead wood’, the ingrates who suck off her and makind without mind or heart. But who is guilty or innocent. Mother Nature simply does not care.I loved Mother Nature and all the creatures in her.After all I am still just nine years old and have not met the majority of ‘assholes’ out there. I loved the bounty of Mother Nature that is for our survival and living.When she ‘moves’ the earth, the world knows it.She is God of the material world. Equal to God She can shake up this world as She pleases. And does.And foolish men and women think they can escape her, break her laws, but I am here to tell you, Her laws will ‘break’ you, before you break them. She and Her Husband, alone, are God of this world. All mankind is subject to her. We are all subject to her laws rather we like it or not. No one gets out alive! No one lives forever, save God and His expansions. But then are we not ALL of God?Now I won't be so callous to say I was happy when my grandparents on my mother's side passed away. It was a sad event for all I knew about them. But thank God we had no more excursions to that fooking place called Florida.Now I like Florida, for my brother had his house built there. Just to show you how different we are from each other, my brother and I, and yet in so many ways the same…NOT! To this day, I am still waiting to go down and see his house in person with plenty of sunblock and insect repellant in Florida!But due to circumstances beyond my control, and I hate to admit this, I did not attend my Grandpa funeral in Ohio when I was down and out, broker than Jesus, pounding the Hollywood boulevard trying to be a great, successful, actor, somebody my family and the whole world could love. That too, is another Dark Nightmare we will go into later. No one can replace my grandparents. No one can even come close! “I love you Grandpa, may you rest in eternal peace together with the love of your life, here and to come, Grandma! You guys live forever in my heart!” Wow! I got to take a break!Since I am only trying to show you pretty much an average Black family that wasn’t always singing, ‘Nobody Knows The Trouble I’m ‘In’, But Jesus!’ I was very lucky to have loving parents who cared about us. A kool brother and sister and grandparents.And several best friends, my brother and I still know today.I am sort of bragging on my family.So what? It is my way of actually saying ‘Thank you’.Like I said.I was very lucky and grateful.So? Need a break too? Got to go to the bathroom? Refresh that drink? Relight that blunt?No problem. When we come back I want to introduce you to another favorite person in my family…my sister, Lynn. For it was her who inspired me to ‘play’ music. So, what would it be like for a nice, intelligent black female teenager in the 1950’s, when McDonald’s came on the scene, and the Board of Health declared that cigarettes causes cancer? My sister would know. Seeing how she was there to see and live it all.

In part one we learnt that the beginning of SPIRITUAL LIFE is knowing that you are not your body.If you are not your body what are you?Well, most of you know you are a Spiritual Being {SP}, but what exactly is that?A Spiritual Being {SP} or PSI BEING is a Dynamic Unit of Energy with the capacity to make considerations and postulates that can be felt as emotions and understood as thoughts or ideas.It can materialize 'thoughts and ideas' into a concrete reality in the physical world.It does this through an Ego.But not the 'false ego' of the mind, but the Transcendental ego of the Psi Being.But the for now it should be understood that man has three major parts or divisions to himself called the body, mind, and soul.The body is depended on the earth to survive, as the earth is depended on the Universe to survive."The atom depends on the universe as the universe depends on the atom."So the body is not a Cause of itself, but is either an EFFECT of the environment or the mind. And especially the 'minds' of others we call {STEMM}.Because few people are trained in TRANSCENDENTAL TECHNOLOGY mankind is ignorant of the fact that the majority of mankind are Psychic Entities {PE} and not their true selvesas Spiritual Beings {SP's}.The Psychic Enity {PE} is the false ego of the body and mind.To simplify this a CAUSE and EFFECT scale is best.The body is an EFFECT as we already stated.But the MIND is a CAUSE and EFFECT mechanism.The 'soul' or SPIRITUAL BEING {SP}is the CAUSE of both the mind and the body.This would be The PSI BEING.A PSYCHIC ENTITY{PE} is either a Cause or Effect depending on the circumstances surrounding it. But man not knowing this data, even as a Psychic Entity {PE} still can roller coaster between being a Cause or an Effect of the events in his life.Without knowing this, a person can easily be programmed to be schizophrenic. The PSYCHIC ENTITY {PE} is always the 'false ego' of the person no matter how 'holy' or 'good' or 'bad' it may seem.Only the SPIRITUAL BEING {SP} is the true Ego and PSI BEING and none else.Because the SPIRITUAL BEING {SP} can act as CAUSE outside the boundaries of the mind, it is also called FIRST CAUSE. Therefore,The PSI BEING can be CAUSE both over the Cause and the Effects of the mind, body, and environment.Let's go over this again.The BODY is an EFFECT.The MIND is a CAUSE and EFFECT.The SOUL is The FIRST CAUSE.Being an 'unknowing EFFECT' is the worst.In short, man operates best as the full CAUSE of his life and destiny. And from the chart we covered you can see that would be a man as a SPIRITUAL BEING {SP}or PSI BEING which is his true Ego and original state of beingness in the first place.In Chapter 3, you will discover why the Spiritual Being {SP} is 'a soulless being'.The Reason and Purpose of MetaPsychics is to provide Spiritual and Transcendental Knowledge to help the individual man and mankind as a whole to realize they are a Spirit-Being {SP} {an aware soul} called in the science of MetaPsychics a PSI BEING, and their purpose and reason on earth are to function as a PSI BEING for their spiritual, Psychic,andPhysical fulfillment and ultimate life.

Today you hear the statement, "I'm not religious, I am spiritual."And I seriously doubt that few people have any idea what they mean by 'spiritual' other than they are not into the conventional religious orders of today.Most people believe in some Higher Deity or Force, and some of the popular names are Jesus, Moses, Allah, Buddha, and even Satan.Some people follow their own philosophy or the philosophies of others.And others are even into more Natural Religions such as Shamanism and Witchcraft.Then there are the Eastern Religions such as Buddha, The Tao and The Dharma. There are Atheism and Agnostic sects, and though these are not religions, they represent the subjective ideas of the persons involved.But when we come to SPIRITUALITY {not Spiritualism}, we find that it is not either a religion or a philosophy, but the realization and acceptance of a ULTIMATE REALITY that can be experienced now as your ULTIMATE LIFE.SPIRITUALITY is not dependent on one's Nationality, race, skin color, religious affiliation or not, or even if you are rich or poor.A person can be poverty-stricken and materialistic, and a wealthy person may be a very spiritual person. The SPIRIT LIFE does not depend on either poverty or wealth, what kind of work you do, or your sexual orientation., race, Nationality, or creed.The SPIRIT LIFE is transcendental to the universe, world, environment, body and mind.} The SPIRITUAL BEING {SP} does not create Karma for his true actions are not in the lower spheres of the mind vibrations.The SPIRIT LIFE depends not on any of your actions or inactions. It is Transcendental and though it is involve in all life, it is also at the same time, transcendent to all life.People say The Psi {SPIRIT} LIFE is this and it is that.But The Psi {SPIRIT} LIFE is simple.It begins with knowing and accepting the fact you are not your body or 'limited' mind.This is the real beginning of PSI LIFE. YOU RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A SPIRITUAL OR PSI BEING.Like a Silent Bird watching the 'active bird'. And 'knowing' and 'understanding' you are both the subject and the verb in action spontaneously.This is knowing and understanding that you are a STATIC and a KINETIC at once and this makes up your life good or bad as you please.By seeing the difference between yourself and your body and mind are the first steps to a perfect SPIRITUAL LIFE.You come to understand that you are SPIRIT {Life} and you are a SOUL {Jiva} or SPIRITUAL BEING {SP}. This is easily understood when man realizes he is a trivium being made up of a BODY, MIND, and SOUL.In The Psi {Spiritual} Life Part Two, we will explain what 'connects the 'body' to the 'soul' which is THE MIND. and the easiest way to understand it from a Spiritual Point Of View.

A Working Class Hero is something to be."-John LennonChapter One: Mom & DadIt was 1950 in mid-eastern America, Columbus, Ohio. The first major credit card was introduced to the buying public. America now had 'plastic money' that extended their buying power.The first organ transplant took place. Right on!The Korean War started. Bummer!Playboy Magazine came out, the first nude {tits only} magazine of its kind. Yeah baby!The famous Norma Jean {Marilynn Monroe} grace the first centerfold of Playboy magazine.DNA was discovered.Joseph Stalin, who was supposedly as evil as Hitler was executed.Average Cost of a new house was $9.550.00.Average wages per year were $4,000.00.Cost of a gallon of Gas .20 cents.Average Cost of a new car was $1,650.00.And all of that was in the year I was born in.My brother Bernie, who was born a year earlier, had the Polio vaccine discovery to his birth year and this was also the year that McCarthy started the Communist Witch Scare and Hunt.Your name better not be found in the dreaded "Black book". President Truman ordered the construction of the first Hydrogen Bomb. Man now had the power to blow himself to kingdom come and beyond. Who needed a vengeful god?Maybe the biggest relief in the 1950's was when "You're a good man, Charlie Brown" hit the newsstands as Shultz's {and the world's} number one comics "Peanuts! "And in a nutshell: Segregation was banned illegal in the U.S. Disneyland opened its doors.The color T.V. came into play along with the remote control later that decade. The first color television sets sold for $1,175, and transistor radios start to appear for sale.James Dean died in a car accident and was nominated for an Oscar which he didn't win.Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a public bus to a white man which was a forerunner of The Civil Rights Movement.The Soviet Union rushes in THE SPACE AGE with the launch of the satellite SPUTNIK, making Russia the first men into space.The United States retaliated the following years and put the first man on the moon. We will not be out done. Queen Elizabeth II was crowned queen of England.Sir Edmund Hillary, an explorer from New Zealand and Tenzing Norgay, a Nepalese Sherpa, become the first people to successfully climb to the summit of Mount Everest in May.The Corvette the all American sports car goes on sale.Cigarette Smoking is reported as causing Lung Cancer.And I, Bruce Lemar Peterson, {Brewster} was born.If the TV show "Good Times", which was about a small, fat, black lady named Florida, and a tall, ugly, black man named J.J. Walker, who grins and bear it, as they struggle day by day to make it in the world? Then this book can only be called: "BAD TIMES".For it is about an affluent Black family in 1950's America, who lived in the better part of the 'Negro section' of town' in Columbus, Ohio, and is told by a nine year old black child, me,Brewster."Well, I'm that Nigga. At least I wanna be..."-Prince, 'Pussy-Control'.This is my story..."Hey faggot! I'm talking to you!" Jesse turned and looked at the skinhead who was addressing him."I think you and your boyfriends need to leave us alone." Jesse said as calmly as Steven Seagal in a Steven Seagal movie, before Steven got bigger and fatter and did some sort of live show on T.V. Remember?Steven Seagal never got his ass kicked first in a fight and then retatiate. He came in swinging and went out the same way. He took no bullshit, and neither did Jesse, my six foot seven Mulatto friend.Anyway, Jesse was just that calm and we were surrounded by at least five angry skinhead boys who hated gays or faggots depending on how liberal your mind was at the time.Being a black straight kid, I think they hated me also.The leader of the gang laughed as he and the other members of his gang surrounded Jesse Slate and Jesus, the young man Jesse came with. Thinking we were all gay, they didn't think much about the size of Jesse's stature, he still had to be a whimpif he was gay.There was five of them. Angry, hateful, skinheads giving Jesse Slate a hard time for he had come to the rescue of a weaker {physically} guy then he...his friend, Jesus. Jesus was my and Jesse's friend. Though I was straight, Jesse was bi-sexual and he and Jesus had had sex together so I heard.Anyway Jesus told him that these homophobic assholes had attacked him just for being gay and nearly beat the living shit out of him. He heard that early that year they actually killed one guy and didn't care he had died. Though it was investigated no arrest were made. So Jesse promised to walk with him to 'The Sweaty Balls' bar that night just encase these assholes showed up. They did.Jesse helped a lot of gay guys in the past for he hated seeing anyone discriminated against or bullied, gay, straight or otherwise. And anytime the opportunity presented itself for him to act the 'hero', he did.Working as a Fashion model during the day, Jesse was a vigilante at night. A hero to the weak and those in need.Jesus had told him that he had been beaten several times by a group of skinheads who hung out near 'The Sweaty Balls' club just to catch unexpected gays to beat the holy hell out of them.They had already put one innocent man in the hospital and another one was near death. The patrons of the club had notified the police but they were pretty lackadaisical about it and no arrest were made though the suspects were pointed out time after time by witnesses."Faggot I said what the fuck you doing on our turf? Fucking queers are not allowed on our turf! All fucking queers need to fucking die!"I thought this guy was going to bust a blood vessel he was so hyped up! You know how some people get when they get all excited, their heads turn red as tomatoes in bloom?Jesse stood up. He was a good 6 feet, 7 inches tall. One of the guys was smart enough to back down when he saw the stature of Jesse. He was intimidated. Somehow he knew this was no ordinary guy.Jesse was built like a male shit brick house. His muscles were so hard and shaped it looked like they had been chiseled out of a marble statue.The leader of the group had to be a specialkind of stupid, he was not going to back down no matter what, for he had to call the shots, and he had to be the one who had to be the least afraid among his peers or he would lose his Alpha position to the next chump up. If he only knew what he was really up against."I said it is in your best interest to leave us alone, and let me take this guy home, and you guys should get out of here and never bring your deadhead, skinhead, lard assess back around here again if you know what is BAD for ya!" Jesse had went into his 'I-don't-give-a-fuck' attitude.The leader looked at the rest of his gang in utter disbelief!"Did you hear this motherfucker!?" He looke around at his small gang then back at Jesse as if he ws the Devil himself. He pulled out a small baseball bat and his goons did the same. Some had knives instead of bats."Oh, You're dead motherfucker! Who the fuck DO you fucking think you fucking are?! MUTHERFUCKER!?"The unaware skinhead moved closer to Jesse Slate. He wasn't too afraid of Jesse at the time, for he had an unknown edge on Jesse. He had a gun in his pocket also, the great equalizer.Plus he had no choice but to stand his ground. He was the leader, the Alpha Male.NOw it was time for him to put on a good show. Show his gang why he was the ALpha Male."Motherfucker I eat faggots like you for FUCKING BREAKFAST! MUTHERFUCKER! GODDAMN, MUTHERFUKING FAGGOTS!!! {There went the veins in his head again!} GOT the goddamn audacity to be selling wolf tickets! WOLF TICKETS!! Mutherfucker!" He was laughing in disbelief. "I am going to tear you a new FUCKING asshole, YOU FUCKING FAGGOT. And then I'm gonna take your little faggot friend there and FUCK him till he bleeds to death...out of his asshole!""Hey!? How did I get into the picture?"Jesse looked straight into the skinheads hate filled eyes and said: "I don't sell wolf tickets, YOU PALE, BALD HEADED, PIG FACE, COCKSUCKER!"The hair started to grow on Jesse's neck and arms...his face started to transform as huge fangs came out of his mouth.His clothes ripped from his body and his naked form covered in long animal hair like someone had sped up the clock superfast.Jesse didn't need a full moon, or any moon for that reason."I AM THE WOLF!!!!"The transformation took place almost instantly. And the last thing the skinhead ever remembered about his misdirected life was that he shit his pants seconds before a mighty claw ripped through his throat like it was made of paper. He could feel the blood drain from his body and he knew that he was fading into an Eternity of nothingness.His life had been nothing then and now it was to be forever.As he started to lose consciousness, he realized it always had been the anticipation of death that he feared most. Now he just wondered, what would happen to him? Where would he go?Then he heard the people screaming.And he would had too, if his vocal cords were not already paralyzed.Jesse looked around at the other terrified gang members. They wanted to run but they were literally frozen in disbelief! This kind of stuff only happened movies!"This can't be happening! This can't be happening!Hail Mary, mother full of grace...and your son Jesus Christ...!""Which one attacked you last week?" Jesse asked Jesus. "That ONE!" Daniel said pointing out a Puerto Rican to the left."Oh No, kid! You got the wrong amigo!""Waste him!" Jesus said with a taste of revenge in his mouth. "Beat the living FUCK out of him!" So much for Jesus's peaceful nature.The other guys found the courage to get the hell out of there as Jesse approached the guy Jesus pointed out."No! No! He's lying!" The guy tried to protest! "Oh Mother of God!" He was paralyzed in fear. He was pissing his pants when Jesse grabbed him by the throat."Don't worry." Jesse said, his eyes were alight like living fire. "I'm not going to kill you just yet!"He threw the guy so hard against the chain fence that his pants ripped right off his body. The eighteen year old boy landed in the alley hard on his left hip. His body hit the ground with so much force I heard his hip bone crack, and I was at least 8 feet away! Helpless in his wet, torn, bloodied boxers, he looked up to see The Wolfman coming at him. He could not had been no more than eighteen and he had seen and been through a lot, but for the first time in his life, even with two bullet holes in him, he knew he was going to die.The words of mercy could not even come out of his mouth, but they swelled up in his eyes so that you could see by the tears in his eyes pleading, "I'm sorry..I'm sorry as can be!" But he knew, and I knew that he had gone past The Tipping Point...his blood was required by the gods. And what the Gods wants...the gods get. And from the look in Jesse's eyes this guy knew he was in for more than just death. He had been in prison before. He knew THAT LOOK! "Oh my God!" The horrified guy scream trying with all his might to get away. "Mother of Mercy!" He knew what this Beast had in mind. And from what was hanging in between Jesse's legs made the small time crook run faster. He wobbled down the street trying to hold on to his torn underwear and get out of his torn pants around his ankles. But it was too late. Jesse grabbed him by his ankles and jerked his half naked body back to him. "So you like to play rough, cowboy?""Oh No Man! Please God, NO! Oh God no! Please man, I‟ll do anything! Anything!""I think you will too!" Jesse said. "Seeing how you got no fucking choice!" He ripped the rest of the boy's underwear off him.The boy screamed. "Nooooooooo!" Jesse flip him over like a pancake and spread his legs so far apart I thought he had broken both of them."Hey Jesus?!" He said. "I'll show you how to really fuck an Asshole. " He looked at the guy at his mercy." Ok, Mutherfucker! Let's see how you like being the goddamn victim!""NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"-----------------"Brewster! Brewster!" The teacher called out to the young black kid in the second row. "Brewster! Brewster!!"I snapped too. "Yes, mam!?""Wake up! You're daydreaming again!? You know there is no sleeping in class!"I lifted my heavy head and eyes off my desk. The 8th grade sucked!Even then I did not have a lot of friends and I always felt like an outsider. I was a loner then, and I am a loner now. And that made school more 'fooking' boring than ever.Oh, I made good grades. Good grades? It went more like this! "Mom! Mom!" I screamed as I ran into the house.It was 1958 and I had my first Report Card of my Kindergarten grades. This was the fifth year in a row that I brought home a report card will all A's. No B's. No C's.All A's. I was really proud of myself.Only one other girl in my class had did the same thing. The Teacher said that we were 'special'. But it was no big deal, at least not to me. It was my Mom who I wanted to impress the most. My mom. 'Not my brother, not my sister but my mom, Oh Lord.' My brother, being 10 ½ months older than me, was my modern day Hero then {Now, I am my own Hero}, but it was my Mom who I wanted to show how smart I was. I looked up to my brother. I mean, it seemed like the universe KNEW that I was always going to be second-in-line to my brother, and the whole universe and world had bent time and space to accommodate that fact.Mom didn't seem that impressed by my report card. So it didn't matter to me if I made 'A's' or 'B's", or 'C's', as long as it was a passing grade, that was fine by me. If mom was unimpressed, so was I. Though it was not my brother's fault, I always felt second rate {best} to him. Mom and Dad, nor my brother or my sister made me feel that way, it was my Grandparents and Step-mom and sisters, when my dad remarried, that made me feel like that. He was the honored hero. I was the black sheep {white?} sheep of the family. So, it didn't take much for me to start acting that way. I was very, very good at doing what was expected of me. It was always 'Others-Jesus-then me.' I came last. Everything and everyone was more important than me. Especially Jesus.I literally had 'nothing' for a long time and it was counted as a 'virtue' to me by the Church and any other money I had, I had to give to them, to 'please Christ, within me!' With this state of mind it was easy for me to let my big bro' have all the glory while I sort of faded away in the shadows.It was not my brother, or even my parents fault, it was written in the fooking stars! If you are second born, you will see, and FEEL the difference of always walking in your brother's shadow. Which I did not mine...on sunny days. But those rainy days...those days I cried so much I could had started life on another planet. Those awful rainy days when I felt like I was the 'invisible man'. Those days I could had done without.'Be like your brother'. 'Act like your brother', they would say. "Why aren't you more like your brother?"'Duh, maybe because I am NOT my brother?'"Be like me.‟ My brother would tell me in honest sincerely.He meant be happy and strong like he was. But he never imposed himself on me. And today, I still think I adapted some of his better traits like letting people 'think' and 'be' the way they like without judgement. Well, for the most part.My question was WHO was I and WHAT could I really 'be' or 'do'?Bernie and I would pretend we were these super rich Businessmen who ran a multi-million dollar company.He was Mr. Nelson, and I was Mr. Morgan. It never dawn on me at the time, these were 'white' characters. We had no good Black Images to look up too-unless you considered 'Amos and Andy', the black TV show about two 'crooked' uptown black Lawyers, top choice.Even then I was always the super-quiet one. And the less physical. In fact, I did not like sports and tried to avoid going to gym class every chance I got.If you gave my brother a basketball, you had better give me a pen and some paper. My brother was more extroverted. And I of course, was more introverted.We slept in the same bedroom of a four bedroom house and had those famous, new, bunkbeds.Bernie normally slept on top...and I remember we did have that famous episode where the top bunks dislodges and cascades down on the unexpected victim below. Which was me.Dad had delegated 'all power' to mom. And you would not even know it for my mom went about the house doing all those boring things a housewife does, paid the bills, did the shopping, took care of us and our sister as a loving mom, so there was never a "power struggle" in our house.I never ever seen my dad and mom have a fight. Not once.Not even a verbal fight.Seriously we were as clean as the actors in the "The Donna Reed Show", except back in black.Good grades meant very little to be since then.No fight. No strife. I always thought that Dad was a pretty smart cookie...giving mom all the power..then he just sat back read the daily news and watched the football games in peace and tranquility.Just like the song, "I GOT THE POWER!"could had been Mom's beacon call.Seeing how you could go to jail for smoking marijuana. I knew for Robert Mitchum one of mom's favorite actor had just got arrested for toking on the bud, we took no drugs and didn't drink or smoke.The only thing left was Life itself.In fact I was so much in love with life when I was young, I HATED with a purple passion, to go to sleep at night. I had so much more energy and more toys, and more imagination, that I had not gotten to yet, and Bernie, my older brother, who I had not tortured for the day, {thought Bernie was the REAL King of torture which my Grandmother told me was called 'AGGRAVATION!'}, I still had one of my TV 'episodes' coming, and I had about 4 more hours till bedtime. There still was a lot to get done!I woke up in the morning, jumping on the floor, trying to make the loudest THUMP, and was so glad to be healthy and alive and ready to start another fun-filled day of Force and Fantasy.I don't think God could had been happier. But I don‟t know the same bug that bite God in the ass so that he said, "I REPENTETH THE DAY THAT I HAVE MADE MAN!" Or something like that, bit me in the ass also later in my life, but more on that later."When I was young,I was all so happy,Oh, so care-free,Never lonely.I had a dream,You know it lasted forever,Fading never,Always better...When I was young,I thought I would laugh forever,Find the humor,Nothing sacred.I had a dreamYou know itLasted foreverFading never,Always better.Then came,Bad dreams,Sad scenes,Mad schemes."© 2016 by BLP.All Rights reserved.One of the earliest thing I can remember about my brother is him talking me into something which was just plain right out pure evil. Even Satan would had given Himself a gold star for thinking this one up. We were going to put the sewing machine needles in the couch for the group of socialite ladies that visited my mom once a month to discuss the 'current affairs', which in my opinion, was what was fooked up about themselves, and what can we DO about IT Club.This really was translated into 'How can we get a better stronghold on the City to see it our way! Especially since we are the Elite Christians of this God forsaken community! And OUR farts don't stink! Praise Jeezzus! Club.'You see, if it is was not for these ladies, Columbus, Ohio would had gone to hell in a bread basket, a long time ago. They were the upper crust of society at that time, {Our mom and dad were living in the Uppity Negro Section of Town}, and it appeared to me that a lot of the ladies in my mom's social group where eating the upper crust of some big ass pie big time from the weight they were carrying around.Of course they were all black ladies and the one token White lady who everybody liked but me.Now remember I am telling you this story from a broader perspective than then. I was only nine and though there was the potential of a musical prodigy in me yet to be release, my little brain could only access too much information.So, at that time, being in a predominately black neighborhood, the few white people I saw were all either Ward and June Cleaver from the 'Leave It To Beaver Show'. Beaver? Come on! This was the late 1950's, did these guys really know they were talking about the slang word for 'pussy' at that time? I think so! Believe me Television has done more for bombarding me with sex through their endless sexual innuendos then any pornography film ever did. And everyone was as perfect and pure as the characters in the 'Father Knows Best Show!'All I ever did, and loved to death, was watch TV. I got up...turn on the T.V. I got ready for school, I had some time to burn...turn on the T.V. I got home from school...turn on the T.V. I got my homework done...turn on T.V. I got ready for bed, took my shower, brushed my teeth, sneak back downstairs to turn on the T.V..Besides the few white people in my surrounding neighborhood, this was the closest I had come to knowing white people at the time.Through Television.Can you imagine a nine year old black kid walking down the street and every white woman that he saw was June Cleaver? And every white man was Ward Cleaver?A white kid about 16 passed me on the sidewalk. "H!" He said genuinely. "Hi WALLY!" I said with that god awful grin you see on black people in The Three Stooges Movies!Walking on the main streets where the stores were, where blacks and whites could walk together, another white kid might ask me what time it was. "IT'S ONE O'CLOCK, BEAVER!!!" I said again with that god awful grin on my face. Looking at me kind of strange, the white kid would sort of hurry away...with increasing momentum!And we had our black version of Eddie Haskell on our street, named Tony. He had the reputation of being the bad boy in the neighborhood. I think his worst 'sin' was stealing. But more on that later. Let's get back to The Saviors of Menlo Place. My mom's social group. To this day I still think that one white lady was there to spy on us. It was common jargon that there was one white man for every group of black people to make sure we were not plotting on how to overthrow them, or their crooked government. She was nice. Porky like the rest of the ladies and sort of looked around like a rooster. I couldn't tell if she was just curious or was looking for a significant place to hide a spy camera. Sooooo, before my mom's next social meeting and dinner, we hide the sewing needles in place in the Living room couch waiting for our un-expecting GUEST, fat asses, to sit the fook down! And they DID! And it was better than a three-ring circus! Ed Sullivan could not had put on a better show! The first lady, {I never knew her name} plot her fat ass down on the couch and plot her fat ass up as fast as she had plot it down. "Ohhhh Mary! I think you have a spring loose in your couch!" She said rubbing her fat ass.And the other lady was already in motion to swat her bertha butt down also and she bounced back up with a big "OOOOOOOSHHH! OH MY GOD!" They were long needles. And, of course, we were rolling in the aisles as a bewildered mother tried to make sense of the fiasco that was happening at her social event in her living room. Then came Mrs. Krueger. Yeah, just like Freddy Krueger. I would not be surprise if she was married to him. She came in all high and mighty like she always did. {I think the men liked it because she did have nice tits!} And she plopped down on the couch and SHE SAT THERE!!! She didn't move a fooking iota!That needle must had been buried at least three inches up her ass! AND SHE JUST SAT THERE AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED! My brother and I stopped in motion and looked at each other in amazement. Needless to say, we were not laughing anymore! We always knew that evil Jezebel Mrs. Kruger, was a witch!!!And she sat there for a fooking long time! It seemed to me almost an eternity before she looked at my Mom and said as nonchalantly as you please, "Mary, I think you need a new couch." She needed a new ass! That fooker must had been made out of casted iron."Boys! Boys! Come in here!"We beckon to our mother's call and went into the living room to put our best foot forward."And you know my boys don't you? Bruce and Bernard!" "Oh yes, they are such darling little angels!" "Oh yes!" My mom said proudly. "They are my perfect little angels."You could almost see the halo above our smiling heads.