Webby's Horror Reviews

This movie is a hefty one, clocking in at just over 2 hours, and it makes you feel every second. On purpose! Simon spends the entirety of the movie trapped in a submarine held together by little more than duct tape and spite, and we are right there with him every step of the way. It's claustrophobic, suffocating, unbearably hot, and every minute for Simon must be an eternity, alone in a tin can at the bottom of an ocean of blood. The movie wants us to stay with him, witness every moment he suffers.

And boy does he suffer.

Simon is doomed from the start, and the launch crew knows it. Expects it, accepts it, and works around him as though he's already dead. His questions are deflected, his concerns are ignored, he's given the barest of bare minimum instructions, they lie to his face without a second thought, and of course, the crushing admission that they didn't even know his name when they sent him down. After all, why bother getting to know a man who doesn't even know he's not alive?

But Simon is very much alive, and intends to stay that way, whatever it takes. And that's what made him so compelling To Me, his hope in the midst of everything. He hopes to get out of the blood ocean alive. He hopes to do something good, whether it's save the owner of the mysterious voice or to get the information on the black box back up to the other remaining humans.

I got the feeling that it was his hope for a better future, one where people get to live, that prevented him from giving into the Ignorant God, symbolized by the seed from Eden keeping him tethered.

A hope that the COI tried to take from him, I might add.

It's his hope that keeps him going above almost all else as he experiences the Horrors of every sort- physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And yet he fights through it. Defies it. Even when he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is not making it out of that deathtrap sub, he does not let himself be restrained by fear. Or by hideous fleshy growths welding his arm to the pipe.

Something I found interesting was that there was a prophecy (or something like it) that Eden touted: 'When the last son of Eden joins the grove, there will be a thousand trees'. When Simon finally lets go, the seed he carried explodes into growth, destroying the creature; it seems the prophecy fulfilled. However: Simon isn't the last Eden member left alive- one of the people in the launch crew flat out says there's more where he came from, so that says to me that Simon is the last one who believed in Eden- not the cult, but more in the Biblical sense- the paradise for humanity. A better world.

Anyway, if I keep talking theories this review is never going to end, so let's move along.

There are so many good blink and you miss it type moments- Simon's photography, how the blood begins to grow inside the sub much, much sooner than Simon notices (I first noticed it a bit before the halfway mark but I wouldn't be surprised if it was there earlier!); not to mention other small moments that spoke to me, such as Simon's irrational but real fear that he is somehow not alone on the sub, the way he discovers alien structures under the ocean and decides he doesn't care about it, how Ava's first real conversation echoes his own first line back to him: Let's get this done.

To say nothing of the major things that I loved! This movie has so much to offer me! Body horror, psychological horror, existential horror, sick ass creature design, practical effects, emotional damage, time shenanigans, cosmic horror, disgustingly good prosthetics, all wrapped up in a viscerally filthy looking environment. Absolutely stellar work all around. This movie was made for me specifically.

The standout scene among all others has got to be the sequence where Simon encounters the light. The way the light rends the ship in half, how the creature seems to rocket past Simon, the way the Ignorant God and Simon say the words 'I see you' as both challenge and acknowledgement.

Iron Lung is not your 'traditional' horror film. There's no First Kill, there's no Death Fodder, and there's no simple explanation for anything. The best thing a piece of media can do is leave things unexplained, because nothing gets my mind more feral than the space to connect dots and draw my own conclusions.

For giving me that space, for giving me a story to sink my teeth into, for incredible visuals and impressively gnarly prosthetics, and for being a project that shows off every ounce of passion that went into it, I gotta give this one 10 outta ten ghosts.

So, as I said, this 'remake' isn't exactly a remake, because instead of taking the same characters and the same story Again, we get new characters in a similar situation as the original. Instead of Larry Talbot, bachelor who lost a brother, we have Blake, a father and husband who lost his estranged father.

There's a lot that's unsaid in this story that's told through body language, environmental storytelling, or if you use your brain and add up some key facts. (There's also some pretty obvious stuff said directly by the characters with their mouth but based on some of the other reviews I've read, apparently plenty of viewers missed it.)

For example, we may not see a lot of the abuse that Blake suffered at the hands of his father, but we see the fear in young Blake's actions and the way it affected him well into adulthood. We see Blake trying so hard to avoid becoming his father that he may even be overcorrecting in the opposite direction, indulging her in things that many 'normal' parents wouldn't. (I want it on the record that I think he was doing a fantastic job, by the way. He was a god damn good father.)

I can't talk about this movie without mentioning the sound design because it goes SO HARD. Once Blake is infected and he begins to change, we are treated to his perspective and everything sounds so strange, loud, unfamiliar. One of my favorite scenes is the incredibly tense sequence where he goes upstairs to investigate the loud banging, only to find the World's Loudest Spider crawling up a wall. SUCH a good bait and switch.

And speaking of Blake's perspective, I was absolutely ENAMORED wih the shift in lighting and sound when we're with him. It's so unsettling, and I imagine it must have been so terrifying for Blake; his world transforming as his senses, instincts, and even brain chemistry are slowly altered. It breaks my heart when he loses the ability to understand or even see his wife and daughter clearly.

Blake and Charlotte needed to talk, and the cabin would have been the perfect place for it, away from work and other outside distractions. They could have really been able to try to communicate, patch the holes in their relationship, but just as Blake had always feared, the part of him that came from his father destroyed that possibility.

The horror of this movies, as in the original, is not simply 'There's a Monster!' as one might expect. There's the horror that Charlotte and Ginger face, of course, as Blake changes and as Grady attacks, but there's also the horror that Blake himself experiences. His perspective is just as important to the story as theirs: the horror of becoming the monster you never wanted to be, and the terror in your family's eyes as they look at you. (I'm fairly certain that's why one of the covers for this movie is Ginger hiding her face in fear, peering through her fingers- it's what Blake fears.)

And worst of all, you can't tell them that you still love them and would never hurt them.

As Blake's condition worsens and his movements become more erratic and animalistic, his voice becomes incomprehensible to his family's ears. Yet, when we are shown his perspective, we see he is lucid, trying desperately to reach out despite being unable to understand what his family is saying. There is a barrier between them, filtering their voices from each other.

This leads me to infer that Blake, despite his condition, was never actually a danger to his family, not in the way that Grady was. There are many times, such as the fantastic scene in the barn, where Blake could have attacked, yet chose not to. He even backs off when he realizes that they're afraid of him, and even in the throes of infection, he shows he has enough presence of mind to go after Grady rather than attack his family.

Something else I loved was the relationship between Blake and Ginger. They were so close, so connected, that Ginger never doubted her father loved her, and saw him even as he changed. She must have remembered that he said he never wanted her to know the pain he'd felt, and understood he would rather die than let that happen.

The scene in the deer blind was so sad, but beautiful too. Blake lunging at Charlotte to force her into killing him at the place where he first encountered this violence all those years ago. He ends the cycle where it began for him, ensuring that he never became the same monster as his father, or risked hurting anyone else in the same way.

A lot of people didn't seem to 'get' this movie, from what I've seen. (To be fair, it is also possible that I am a touch biased, being such a Leigh Whannell fan. I acknowledge this.) "It wasn't scary!" Horror isn't always trying to scare you. "There wasn't a wolf transformation!" You're thinking of werewolves, not a wolf man. And we did get one, just slow and agonizing instead of dramatic and monstrous. "Why did character do this thing instead of other thing?" People sometimes act irrationally under stress, this is a stupid criticism.

Before we get to the scoring portion, I'd like to mention some other details I really enjoyed: Blake's face in the truck as he is transforming is reminiscent of the face he was playfully making at his daughter in the kitchen at the start; Charlotte knowing how to jumpstart a vehicle despite being a City Girl; the reveal that Blake had been changing a lot sooner than we were shown simply because we were seeing things from his perspective at the time.

All in all, I think I'd give this one 8 ghosts out of ten. There was nothing glaringly wrong with it, and I did enjoy it quite a bit, but I can't help but feel like it's just not as memorable To Me as some of Leigh's other work. Still, I did love the story he chose to tell with this reimagining.

Now, despite the numerous attempts to convince the viewer that this movie is about 'an ancient evil', it's about as evil as your average real life bear or shark. I specify real life, because I can't even fathom how many horror movies have tried to frame animals as evil for doing normal ass animal things, often with extreme backlash on real animals.

The movie starts out with a logging operation that looks incredibly violent, which turns into violence against the workers via an unseen force. It's always the workers who suffer, even when they know not what they do- in this case infringing on the territory of a long-hidden Monster.

I do enjoy a good 'stop fucking with the environment' message.

So after our First Kill, we get into the character introductions and we meet Sherriff Paul who is going through some shit. He is drowning in grief, but almost everyone around him seems to think he should be over his trauma by now and back to normal, even his wife, which drove me nuts every time.

Paul is doing his best to maintain his normal routine, continue doing his job, AND being there for his young son, Adam, all while grappling with the fact that six months ago, while he was supposed to be watching him, Paul's other young son accidentally drowned in a kiddie pool. Naturally, Paul blames himself, and it has taken its toll on his self-worth.

Six months ago, beasties. Grief is not a cloud that darkens your skies for but a brief period of time and then is swept away, it's a weather pattern that is affected by countless unexpected variables and even when it seems like it will be clear skies from here on out, you should keep an umbrella by your door because someday, out of the blue, it will return.

ANYWAY. The only main character who doesn't seem to think Paul is dragging it out a little too long is his younger partner Donny, played by Lukas Haas. (Unrelated but he kind of looks like a younger Christopher Lloyd To Me.) Donny is a young man from The City, so he gets ostracized, stared down by The Locals and warned away from the farmer's daughter, that sort of thing, but he's a gentle kind of guy, patient and understanding of his partner's condition.

I was pleasantly surprised by how Donny was written- typically when you have a character who's from The City, they're condescending assholes. Donny is quite the opposite, so it's a refreshing change AND he gets to be our in for a Local Lore Drop, since he wouldn't have grown up hearing about the 'ancient evil that lives deep in the mountains that leaves its prey in the trees'.

There's a couple of other interesting characters in this movie- the paranoid farmer whose horses start going missing; a Local Asshole who is well-written (meaning I want to punch him but he also has Paul's back when he's needed); Adam's teacher who infuriated me immediately; and the kind older bartender who is also the Lorekeeper.

One last character to talk about before we move on is Adam himself. Now I'm not a good judge of child acting, but I can say that I felt like he was written really well and came off as a sweet kid trying to deal with the sudden changes in his life. I appreciate the writers treating him like a person.

Moving on, I want to say that I enjoyed the build-up quite a lot. Having animals Nope out is a good, eerie sign that something's not right, but my favorite part was when everyone woke up one morning to strange animalistic tracks around every house. I also did find it interesting that Paul tried to make actual sense of them, trying to figure out what purpose a three-part hoof would serve.

There are a few really good scenes during the build-up phase besides those, such as Paul coming across the deer carcass in the middle of the road and breaking one of my Horror Movie Rules- he turns his back on the body and it is yoinked out of view immediately. More than once I found myself tensed up, waiting for the creature to strike, particularly in scenes where Paul is alone.

It doesn't, though, instead waiting until the last act to show itself. The design of this thing is impressive, I really liked the way it could unfold its hooves into more of a paw with claws situation, it really made the creature feel, well, like a creature. Sadly I don't think the CGI is done all that well, since they use blur filters during its attacks in otherwise visible lighting, but that didn't lessen the tension of the overall scene To Me.

Paul gets a good scene where he admits he does not feel strong enough to protect anyone, only to be reassured that the entire town, Local Asshole included, trusts him and would follow his lead, and he finds the courage to stand against the beast, putting himself between it and the townsfolk who are hiding in the church basement.

A fierce Final Battle erupts, our heroes find out there's not one but two of these monsters, and they emerge victorious, though extremely damaged. The music is light and cheerful as the townsfolk emerge from their place of safety, and we are filled with the sense that Paul and his wife may even reconcile someday.

So it's especially tragic when the camera pulls back and shows the outside of the church, absolutely CRAWLING with more of these creatures, and no help in sight.

I have to hand it to them, typically with monster movies they show you the existence of, say, a clutch of eggs that was missed, or a final shot of another one running off into the dark, or just the sound of one in the distance as an ending stinger. A future problem, possibly sequel bait, nothing our heroes need to deal with.

This town? Supremely screwed. Right now.

I really liked this one! A likeable protag duo, even if they're cops, a unique creature, and a rug-pull ending. I give it 9 outta ten ghosts, only docking a point for marketing fouls. 'Evil's Roots Run Deep'? Girl it's an animal, not a sentient tree.

So was it a new breed of horror? No. Specifically it was an old-world animal that got run out of its territory and had to find new ground to claim.

There are a LOT of vampire movies out there- we can argue all night long about which ones are good and which ones are bad, but I prefer instead to talk about what a vampire movie represents, which real life boogeyman its supposed to embody.

We'll get to what I think The Master represents in a moment.

The movie starts off with Jakob, played by Larry Fessenden, standing at his pulpit, preaching to a small congregation about women. He talks about how men should love their wives like Jesus loves the church- in order to make them more perfect and pure, 'without spot or wrinkle'.

The sermon talks about women as they relate to men, specifically the men they belong to, with one line even being 'he who loves his wife loves himself', as well as a verse from Proverbs which decries women who are charming or pretty as being vain liars. (Proverbs 31:30, if you want to double check.)

This is not an exaggeration of the way many churches talk about women, in my experience. For anyone who was not forced to attend a Southern Baptist church nearly every Sunday (sometimes also on Wednesday) for a decade and a half, this part may seem over the top or misconstrued, but it isn't.

ANYWHO, the next few scenes show the rest of Anne's day- she keeps herself busy with hobbies, exercise, taking care of the house and doing the cooking. Notably, after the sermon, she is not standing in a group of other women like I expected, but greeting the parishioners by Jakob's side, only speaking if spoken to except in one case- a young woman with a sick mother, who she seems to genuinely care for.

And when this young woman goes missing, nobody seems to care except for Anne. Everyone else makes concerned faces and spouts platitudes, even claiming she fell in with a bad crowd or ran away with a hypothetical boyfriend, scoffing at Anne's insistence that something is wrong. Anne is, going by all of the above evidence, very lonely, despite being surrounded by friends and church members.

The change in her life is sparked by a business meeting with an ex, who flatters her and offers her a taste of the life she dreamed of before Life got in the way. She indulges herself and returns his kiss but regrets it immediately, saying she couldn't hurt Jakob like that.

Then The Master appears, killing the ex and biting Anne, and the real fun of the movie begins.

Anne's transformation begins the next day, manifesting in both the physical and the mental; typically, when a character is turned, there's a show of their newfound power in the form of some sort of violence. Anne's version is more low-key, more personal- her power fantasy involves rearranging the living room furniture single-handedly while jamming to music and sipping from a wine glass full of (animal) blood.

Jakob is less pleased by her new behavior, assuming she had an affair with her old flame (and honestly. It's not an unfounded assumption.) and pushes back, arguing with her and attempting to find answers without outright accusing her of infidelity.

It would be so easy to read Jakob as a secondary antagonist to Anne, and I definitely can see why some might read him that way, but I don't. We are shown that, despite his faults and the rampant miscommunication, he loves Anne and cares about her.

I mean, this is a small town preacher who is shown to respond to trouble with a 'thoughts and prayers' kind of attitude, yet when he discovers his wife is A) a vampire and B) has just done a murder in their kitchen, he helps her clean up and wants to talk with her about where they go from that point. Tell me that's not love.

There is, however, a LOT of miscommunication going on with these two that goes on for most of the movie- not just Anne not speaking up and Jakob taking her for granted, but also misreading each other's statements in general. Every time Jakob says he wants to save her from the evil, Anne hears it as he wants her to go back to being the meek housewife from before. When Anne takes a more active role in her own saving, Jakob is getting the message that she doesn't respect or believe in him.

Eventually, they do actually sit down and talk, which delighted me- I am a big believer in the importance of communication, especially in relationships, so any time a piece of media has their characters talk out their conflicts it makes me happy. The Master, though, not so much.

The Master is never given a name, nor does she declare a gender (and as a Nosferatu type vampire, doesn't really present as one or the other To Me) but characters refer to him as both 'he' and 'she' so I'll be using them interchangeably.

The Master has been watching Anne for a few days before the attack in the form of rats and by the time Anne is turning her ex down, has drawn his own conclusions about Anne and what she wants; then, without permission, forces her beliefs onto Anne.

I mentioned that vampires often tend to represent a social boogeyman of some sort- sometimes it's fear of The Other, sometimes it's fear of Women's Sexuality, sometimes it's fear of The Lengths One Might Go to Attain Power. The Master, from my interpretation of him, represents fear of Feminism. (Also a dash of just The Devil, from the Bible, and let's be real: some people consider those the same thing.)

The Master's only two victims chosen for the transformation are struggling women- the teenager who goes missing in the beginning, and Anne. Notably, both women belong to the church and rely on it or have done so in the past, in Anne's case. Anne's friend Carol is not considered for the change- but she is not visibly dissatisfied or uncertain about herself or her life, nor does she attend the church.

I mentioned that The Master might also represent the Devil, both because of her specific targets and the way she seems to mimic several behaviors associated with him. First offering temptations for both mind and body, then trying to sow seeds of doubt by claiming that Anne's loved ones will never accept her newfound self love.

He also promises Anne that she will be beholden to no one, as long as she drinks of The Master's blood, and will even be able to control the hunger that consumes her. She will, of course, have to give up her social life and sunlight and have to deal with all the usual trappings of vampirism- but that does sound like a deal with a devil, no?

All of this might make this movie sound overly preachy or serious, but it's actually very funny, balancing out the drama with comedy pretty nicely. In between the relationship struggles and the feeding problems, we get things like Using Weed as a Solution to Vampirism, and Jakob having a copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula in his makeshift vampire hunting kit.

The big final conflict is also a good mix of serious and silly, with campy deaths and a bit of monologuing from the Master as she tries one final time to persuade Anne to 'free herself'.

The problem with what the Master says, however, is that she's assuming that her experiences and wants are universal, and hasn't been listening when Anne says she loves her husband.

It was a little disappointing on a character growth level when Jakob kills the Master before Anne can give a response, but from a writing perspective it fits with the theme perfectly: Anne wanted to make her own decision, and Jakob wanted to save her from Evil, and their communication stills are fledgling at best.

The final scene was also really fun, as the pair start to try to plan for their new, uncertain future as former pastor husband and blood-sucking vampire wife, now unsure if they can trust one another. The first time I watched the movie, I thought it was hilarious, and the second time, I still found it hilarious but I also thought it was the best way for the movie to end.

So is the movie feminist? Sure! It advocates for equality, features a complex female lead, has a narrative about a woman being allowed to make her own choices and mistakes, that all sounds pretty feminist to me. Is it the brand of feminism that dudebro types think is man-hating or whatever? I mean, if you're the type of person that thinks anything that focuses on women is anti-man, then yeah, I guess? I don't have that kind of brain though.

Overall this is a very fun watch, with good humor and delightful performances from all the leads. I give it a solid 8 ghosts outta 10! Good music, a fun story that hits on some personal notes for me, vampires, and Barbara Crampton.

Don't Listen opens up with an overhead shot of a filthy swimming pool, a red ball floating in its murky waters. We're introduced to this little family of three- Dani, his wife Sara, and their young son Eric, who is getting a visit from a therapist.

A lot of horror movies with children have trouble making the audience sympathetic towards them- The Babadook movie comes to mind as an example. Not so with this movie, however- Eric garners sympathy in the first few minutes he's on screen. Him looking up so hopeful at his therapist when she tells him there are other kids like him, only to be visibly disappointed when she clearly doesn't understand what he's going through.

Eric isn't struggling with the recent move to this new house- his parents are renovators and this isn't his first rodeo. What's different this time are the voices he hears, that demand he draw pictures and won't let him sleep at night. Just the worst kind of art commissions honestly.

His parents are your classic 'too busy with work to listen to my kid' but they're not the kind that piss me off. They try to spend time with him and obviously love him, but they're just Too Busy to really hear what he has to say. Which is tragically ironic considering the name of the movie.

The First Kill happens as Eric frantically draws it, his crayons flying across the page interspersed with the death happening in real time. We get some good Ecto-Electro-Communication in this movie, with the spirits talking to Eric through his walkie-talkie, his radio, and even his electronic toys; but they aren't restricted to just whispering static nothings. There's a VERY good sequence of a figure behind a plastic sheet in his room while he hides under the covers.

Side note- this movie may have the side effect of making you suspicious of common house flies for a while. Seeing one crawl into someone's ear and take over their body left quite the impact on me. (And the therapist.)

A lot of good horror is also incredibly tragic. Sometimes you watch a horror movie and you find yourself lamenting 'If Only, If Only'. If Only Eric's parents had listened to him when he told them he was scared and hearing voices. If Only they had taken him seriously when he went from loudly enthusiastic about the new place to lashing out at school and wishing they could move away.

One of the old rules of horror tended to be that you didn't kill the kids. (Yes, there's exceptions, don't @ me) Don't Listen ups the emotional tension by breaking that rule and not just for shock value. The second half of the movie is centered on the aftermath of Eric's death and how it affects his parents and the house.

One of the core themes of this movie is possession. Some of it is, of course, being possessed by spirits (via house flies. In the ear canal. Cannot stress enough how repulsive that is. It rules.) but also being possessed by your grief. Grief makes people desperate, which in turn can make them do things they might never have considered before, or behave in ways they would find appalling otherwise.

Dani's grief causes him to become single-mindedly focused on his son's spirit who contacts him through the walkie-talkie. In his grief, he does not stop to consider that this may not even be his son- despite evidence to the contrary and the advice of the expert he brings in to help. Sara's grief, meanwhile, makes her suspicious and aggressive, assuming the worst of her husband without bothering to listen to him explain.

The second half of the movie is where things get far more tense and atmospheric. The expert and his daughter/assistant give us an excellent 'Oh Shit It's Real' moment when she's monitoring the room via cameras/thermal detection/assorted ghost hunting gear and she tells him the presence they detected is right in front of him- but from his perspective, there's just an empty room.

Interestingly, the ghosts are shown to have a heat signature, unlike most media where they're depicted as having a negative effect on the temperature. The ghost expert's daughter even mistakes a ghost for Dani at one point, since she was viewing Eric's room through the thermo-filter thing. It's never really explained, but I think it has something to do with this particular ghost's overwhelming rage, which I'll touch on later.

The Showcase scene is beautifully sad and horrific. Expert sees his dead wife again for the first time, and it seems as though perhaps there are good spirits here, as well- until she's making him cut into his own arm so he can join her, and it's shown that the vision was all in his head and he's been cutting himself for real.

There's a lot of good background ghosts in this one, I had a lot of fun trying to spot them during the high tension scenes in particular. However much I enjoy playing Spot the Thing, though, one of the most nerve-wracking scenes To Me is when the mom is playing Peekaboo with the world's dirtiest ghost. I don't know about you but if I saw those nasty looking feet while peeking under the bed, there's no way in hell I'd be doing a TRIPLE TAKE.

The first time I was watching this movie, I actually paused it and pointed at the screen because, while looking in the background for more ghosts, I spotted a Whipstaff Manor playset! Now, the 1995 live action Casper movie is my very favorite movie, and when I started thinking about WHY that particular toy would be here, I realized that there's actually a lot of similarities between these two films.

Both movies deal with grief, with the loss of a child driving a parent to extremes. Both feature a father with a headstrong daughter, chasing literal ghosts in the hopes of one day making contact with their deceased wife. Both movies even have a hidden underground room! However, in this movie, the hidden room is also a Spanish Inquisition-era torture dungeon, complete with corpses.

Yeah, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition (nobody ever does, so I hear). Part of me was laughing but the rest of me was horrified- when they tell you what happened, when they describe the way the woman was killed, you really understand why she came back as a ghost, and why she's so angry. Was she a witch? Possibly. She seemed to have a powerful voice.

The run up to the climax of the film is really good, making you question whether or not we're about to lose one of the three remaining characters, if we're going to witness yet another tragic death. The relief is almost tangible when they put an end to the witch's ghost and set her free- the evil is defeated (though, is she evil? Did she commit these acts as a spirit with intent or is she lashing out as a creature so consumed by her fury that it's all that's left of her?)

But Don't Listen has one final horror for us. As Dani visits his son's room one more time, he notices his son's artwork on the walls, possibly placed up there as a subtle cry for help. He sees crayon image after crayon image of the deaths and other events that happened well after the death of his son, and his realization that it was his own hands that took his son's life is one tragedy too many to bear.

We end the movie as we begin it- an overhead shot of the swimming pool, though the red ball is replaced by Dani's blood blossoming out into the water. As the credits roll, we hear the infernal buzzing of flies, which made my skin crawl just a bit, after having watched them crawl into ear canals multiple times in the past hour or so.

I did want to touch on the flies again, just for a moment. Usually flies are used in horror to symbolize the stench of decay, since movie scientists have, thankfully, not yet inflicted smell-o-vision upon us. When we hear the buzzing or see the erratic zig zagging of the insects, we instinctively know that something nearby is rotting, likely already dead. But in Voces, the buzzing of the flies is more of a harbinger, a herald of the death to come.

Spain wants me specifically to be scared shitless, I think. This makes the second movie I've reviewed that contains a concept that is terrifying to me personally and, were I to be unlucky enough to be in that situation, I would be incredibly dead so very, very fast. (If you have any more Spanish horror films to recommend, my inbox is always open!)

This movie was made on a very limited budget, and takes place entirely in one location- the main character's living room. Despite the limitations of budget and locale, Lo manages to tell a very emotional story, and looks pretty good doing it!

(Side note- this movie, as far as I could determine, DOES NOT exist in HD form, and you know what? I think that's a good thing.)

The movie utilizes prosthetics for several characters, giving them unique and vaguely grotesque appearances; its also used when Justin, our main character, starts breaking down and enters into a conversation with his own brain through a wound on his hand.

The characters are what carry this movie, given its lack of flexibility in other categories as previously mentioned. We get drawn into Justin's struggle to command a powerful demon in order to save his missing girlfriend, and can't really help but laugh at Lo's wisecracks as it taunts its summoner and plays with his mind.

Justin is Just Some Guy, stepping out of his comfort zone and into the realm of the demonic and occult, in search of his girlfriend April who has been kidnapped by demons. He really has no idea what he's doing, but it's admirable how he keeps going, despite being threatened, humiliated, injured, and even poisoned. Even after he finds out his beloved's true nature, he still tries to bring her home.

April is, in fact, a demon herself, one of the murderous, vile, foul disgusting denizens of hell, unique among her people for being the only demon who possesses human emotions- the entire spectrum. She's the only one who can experience love, both the good parts of it and the bad. Other demons can't understand what love even feels like, and its shown that they're envious of this ability. (Though they'll deny it, of course.)

We get a musical number performed by the demon who kidnapped her (its name is Jeez, which I think about every time I use that word) that gives us her backstory, which amuses me and also kind of gives me secondhand embarrassment for reasons I cannot fathom. (It's called Demon Girl and you can find the scene on Youtube at the time of writing this.)

Lo, played by Jeremiah Birkett (who also stars as Bluebell the troll in the 10th Kingdom, another underrated early 2000s gem), is hilarious on first watch and compelling on additional ones. Its constant jabs at Justin, such as calling him 'Dinner' because that name better fits his future, make it likeable and blurs the lines of what evil really is. It's easy to forget that Lo, by its own admission, and I quote- 'will eat, kill, and rape anything, especially babies'.

The demon Lo does its best to dissuade Justin from his mission, suggesting multiple times that he dismiss it and burn the book like April had told him, which may be a hint to the twist that comes at the end of the film. Other possible hints include Lo using April's voice, going into details on what demons DO to people, and outright telling Justin that to call it disgusting is to call her disgusting, as they are the same.

Because they are. April is Lo, having fled Hell in the guise of a human, stealing a very special book- the book that Justin later uses to summon Lo. The revelation that they are one and the same seems to be the thing that finally convinces Justin that he and April can't be together, no matter how many demons he summons or how brave and determined he is.

I admit I had not clocked the twist on my first viewing, too caught up in the drama of Justin/Dinner vs the menagerie of demons (and the silliness of scenes like The Waiter putting on a performance while he makes a drink, shortly before he pours Justin's ACTUAL drink) to pick up on any of the hints.

I can't talk about this movie without mentioning the music. First we have the film's score, composed by Scott Glasgow, whose tracks 'Love, Misunderstood' and 'Love Theme From "Lo"' never fail to bring on a sense of melancholic nostalgia. Second, but equally as memorable To Me, are The Rondo Brothers, whose contributions to the film are their tracks 'Computers on Ice' and 'Ghost Patrol'. One of those tracks is fun and silly and the other one is played during the solemn ending, so of course it vexes and haunts me to this day.

I doubt the movie would have made such an impression on me without the music, but it's the dialogue that really gets me. We have comedic lines, like Lo accusing Justin/Dinner of being racist against demons, a solid 15 seconds of Justin muttering 'god damn it' repeatedly, and one of my favorites- 'Dude. Dude. I just heard you fell for the whole, "drink this and you can walk through Hell bit".' from Jeez.

There's also more serious lines that stick with me. Lo firmly stating that 'a demon should never entertain the notion that love is the answer to its question'. Justin pleading with April to stay, even after he knows she's a demon, by promising her 'Tell me you won't eat me and I'll make you my wife.'

The ending hurts in such a good way. Even after all he's been through, Justin doesn't get to rescue April and bring her home. Instead, he has to let her go, closing the circle and burning her book, cut off from her for good. Like most tragedies, there was no other way it could have ended.

Another thing I'd like to touch on is the creativity of using a stage performance to portray the flashback scenes, complete with 'actors', backstage crew, and some very expressive Comedy and Tragedy masks who are literally just people standing behind a curtain with only their faces visible.

And speaking of which, this is a movie that would translate very well to a stage, with the majority of the scenes consisting of Lo and Justin talking back and forth on the floor in a dark room, and secondary characters manifesting in various corners. (And a live version of Demon Girl sounds HILARIOUS.)

Pontypool is an unusual entry into the zombie/virus outbreak subgenre. Many of the typical hallmarks are not featured- there's very little gore, no hero with a gun, and with only a small handful of characters, there's no Death Fodder.

It does, however, feature a scattering of details that enhance the experience on subsequent viewings- Grant Mazzy's encounter with the strange woman before he gets to work becomes more chilling as it becomes clear that the virus has spread that far before the characters even know it exists.

The tension builds slowly, coming in the form of calls from listeners and their 'field agent' Ken. Strange things are afoot in Pontypool, with people chanting nonsense, usual callers not reaching out, and employees pulling no-call no-shows, but it's hard to verify any of the claims when they have no visual confirmation.

Pontypool uses the isolation of the radio station and the uncertainty of the truth to create its horror, along with very good sound design, and does a fantastic job of making you need to know what's going on- viewers can intuit that it's a zombie outbreak, but its not the usual type. There's a mob, but they're not out to eat the living, and they retain their powers of speech.

And worse- this virus does not spread through contact with an infected person. It seems to manifest spontaneously, starting with the afflicted seeming to get stuck on a word or mimicking sounds around them before it starts to take over.

You see, it spreads through something much harder to fight off- the spoken word itself is the carrier, and the virus takes hold through the carrier's comprehension. Certain words are identified as being more likely candidates for carrying the infection, such as terms of endearment or philosophical and religious discussion, but anything could be a trigger- but only in English.

An infected individual is compelled to speak their trigger word, even as they try to stop themselves from it. Switching languages, once infected, will slow but not stop the virus as it copies itself through the host's comprehension. It starts subtle, but then rapidly takes over, scrambling the host's brain and attempting to jump into another host in any way it can.

The concept is so fascinating to me. How do you fight comprehension? How do you stop understanding what you're saying? I mean, I do it all the time, but not on purpose- trying to deliberately NOT understand something is a bit like trying not to think of pink elephants, right? Fighting against your own brain, against your own understanding, is hard enough without a virus upping the difficulty.

So how can you fight back? You kill the word that's killing you. You take the word and you break it, you make it mean something else, you take kill and make it mean kiss. You take the sense and remove it.

There are several chilling moments in this movie, with my favorite one being the scene where they're reading a translated warning over the air that describes how the virus takes hold and ends in "Please avoid the English language. Please do not translate this message." It's just so simple and effective, especially the look of realization on Grant's face as he finishes reading the translation.

Another way Pontypool differs from the usual zombie movie formula is the small cast, as I mentioned before. When we lose a character, it's more personal. Even the loss of Ken, who never appears on screen, is felt as we hear him succumb to the infection. When Laurel-Ann is infected, it's even sadder, watching her go from realizing there's something wrong with her to endlessly slamming herself into the door until she collapses.

Pontypool is not a story about action heroes. It's not about overcoming hordes of undead. It's about hope. The radio station itself is called The Beacon, and it's through this beacon that our protagonists try their best to deliver that hope. The doctor sacrifices himself to keep Grant and Sydney safe, in the hopes that they can survive. Grant sends out the message 'Sydney Briar is Alive' in the hope that the infected will echo it far enough so that her family knows she's safe.

Grant and Sydney spend their last living moments broadcasting what sounds like incomprehensible gibberish in the hope that, even if they don't make it, someone will hear it and be saved. That maybe someone else can find the sense in the senseless.

The credits reveal that, sadly, the infection still spreads, but Grant's name does, too. There's still hope that someone can hear his final message.

Pontypool delivers a new kind of zombie film experience, one I have enjoyed repeatedly and recommend at every opportunity. I give it ten outta ten ghosts- the tension delivers, the concept is unique and creative, and Stephen McHattie's radio voice is superb. I've said it before and I'll say it again, please watch this movie.

Movie.

Movie.

Movie.

Alright, STRICTLY SPEAKING, Ink is not a horror movie. It's more of a fantasy with some elements of horror and suspense. But this is my review blog and I do what I want.

The movie opens up with a scene of a little girl (Emma) and her father (John) spending time together one morning. She wants to play pretend, but Dad is awkward, like he's not sure how playing pretend works, but he gives in and tries anyway, leaping out of his comfort zone and into her world of pretend beasties and forts they must defend. it's really cute, if a little too brightly lit.

Then we are introduced to a core concept of the movie- the Dreamgivers. As the neighborhood falls asleep, dozens of individuals literally POP into existence and slip into their homes, where they deliver sweet dreams through a gentle touch. It is weirdly shot in some places, though, reminding me of a medication commercial, but I suppose that can be the nature of dreams.

The Dreamgivers just look like regular people, in contrast to their opposites, the Incubi, who are dressed in black shiny trenchcoats and have their faces projected onto a screen like a mask. The Incubi deliver nightmares, as you might expect, though not through touch- they simply sidle up to a sleeper and whisper negativity that influences the dreams.

I like how differently the two factions are portrayed- the Dreamgivers are warm, personal, almost loving in their duties, while the Incubi are cold and impersonal, projecting fears and insecurities on their victims from afar.

In this world, however, there are more than just Dreamgivers and Incubi, and we meet our primary antagonist, Ink, when he POPs into existence and steals Emma, who is living with her grandparents. Except, he has stolen her on This side of reality- the Dreamers' side- leaving her physical body there without a soul.

Our Dreamgiver protag Allel tries to fight Ink off, and is backed up by some of her compatriots, giving us a really cool detail about the Dreamside World. When objects are damaged, such as furniture, it reverses itself back into its normal state moments later. It's a really cool visual and helps to establish the fact that Dreamsiders can't affect the real world.

Ink kicks everyone's ass and manages to escape with Emma's soul by playing a funky lil beat on a hand drum, which opens a gateway they vanish into. That, in itself, is a cool ass concept. Let me just play a little ditty and get gone.

Ink (the character) is a tragic figure. During the course of the movie, we learn his goal is to become an Incubus- detached, unfeeling, perfectly formed. We are told that his entry into the Dreamside was painful, and when we get a face reveal, we see he is covered in scars, with an almost comically enlarged nose (think close to Adam Maitland's character transformation in Beetlejuice for a comparison) and only a few long thin strands of hair on his otherwise bald, scarred head. he intends to deliver Emma's soul in exchange for this new status.

See, the Dreamside is implied to be the Afterlife. There are angelic figures like Liev the Storyteller; demonic figures like the Incubus Prince; drifters, like Ink, who used to be human but never settled into one side or the other; and Pathfinders who can hear the beat of the world and actually influence it.

The Pathfinder we meet is a blind man named Jacob who serves as a guide and comedic relief from some of the dramatic tension, and is also my second favorite character behind Emma. He seems deeply unserious, but he's dedicated to the task at hand- saving Emma's soul before her body expires. He's just gonna give Allel shit about it the whole time. ("What are we supposed to do when we find Emma on the other side?" "SHAKE THE SHIT OUT OF HER.")

His ability to affect the world gives us my absolute favorite sequence in the movie- he opens his little case he's been carrying and through it, emits a soft little gust of wind that sets off a chain reaction eventually culminating in a car wreck that sends Emma's father to the same hospital she's in. (Even if you don't want to watch this entire movie I do highly recommend looking up that scene on Youtube!)

This movie is an artistic one, utilizing light and environmental storytelling to provide a lot of the details- for example, when John is actively being influenced by an Incubus, the world around him dims, then darkens considerably, showing just how alone he feels in his misery and anger. During the first Flashback sequence, he is shown to be (literally) in the spotlight at work, over and over, congratulated for his business sense and smart dealings, while at home the light is dim as his wife pleads for him to stop working such long hours and spending so much time away from the family.

The movie also uses color to signify which layer of reality we're in- the real world is often overly bright, but colorful, where the Dreamside is mostly gray and muted. I like visual cues that communicate to the viewer details like that, helps me keep track of what's going on and where we are.

The Twist of the movie is decently set up and can be figured out if you're paying attention, but don't feel bad if you don't, since there is some timey wimey bullshit going on. Alternate Worlds love having time work differently than the real one, and while it may be a cliche, it's a fun story element that opens up more possibilities.

Ink is John. Or, at least, a version of him that could be, if he keeps on the path he's on right now. Ink is what happens when John ignores his daughter's condition and continues to work and do coke and withdraw from the only family he has left, resulting in Emma's death. Ink is what happens when John gets so low he takes his own life.

The Final Battle is a fantastic scene- on the Dreamside, we have a handful of Dreamgivers fighting to keep the Incubi who are swarming the hospital at bay and away from John so he can make his own choice; on the reality side of things, we have a normal day in a hospital, with John wandering down the halls in search of Emma. There's a sense of urgency and a rapidly approaching time limit on the Dreamside, but in the real world it's peaceful, almost dreamlike.

Ink/John's journey to recovery parallels how hard it is to come back from the darkness in our own world. How the promise of relief from your pain can be so seductive that you'd give up anything, everything, just to be free. How hard it is to let go of your resentment and admit when you're wrong, when you need help. How even a hand extended in friendship can seem like a threat.

This movie ends on a good note, leaving me with a sense of relief and satisfaction. As I said before, it's not so much a true horror movie as it is a fantasy with some horror elements, so that's probably why it has such a happy ending, but I digress.

Where do I even begin with Saw. I could talk for hours about it, the characters, the tragedy of it all, the in-universe details and the real life behind the scenes stuff. I am fully enamored with this film.

We'll start with the cinematography, since I'm not very knowledgeable on the topic and I'm less likely to ramble endlessly about it.

The scenes of the other victims in their traps, where it speeds up, really gives them a sense of mania, of panic. It really adds to the terror of the situation and gives these characters we get to see so briefly some needed characterization with the camera work alone. In fact, every time they do the choppy editing, it lends a feeling of tension that permeates the entire movie.

There's a scene, one of many, that has stuck with me these past 19 years, and it's the shot of little Diana Gordon sitting up in bed, half her bedroom shrouded in the darkness. On first watch, it's deeply unsettling, but even after you know who it is, it doesn't get any less fucking terrifying. One of my fears is the dark, not being able to see into a room or the entire room, because of scenes like this.

The characters. Good god, do I love the characters in Saw. They're complicated, flawed, neither good nor evil but a secret third thing: deeply human. (Except John Kramer, but we'll get to that.) They're all just People, trying to make it through the day, however they can. Adam, trying to pay his bills and keep himself fed by spying on people; Lawrence, dealing with the stress of being a doctor and a father who's lost his joie de vivre and decides to cheat on his wife about it; Tapp, wracked with guilt over losing his partner and letting Jigsaw escape, throwing everything he has into stalking the wrong man at the cost of his own health. The more we learn about these characters, the more fascinating they become to me.

Let's talk about John for a moment. More articulate people than I could tell you, in rich detail, about why he's not a savior, but I tend to just boil it down to this: you can't 'fix' people with trauma. I think John is evil, or close to it. Look at the people he chooses to punish- Paul, who cuts himself; Mark, who claims to be sick but is also seen out and about; Amanda, a drug addict. Paul could have depression or some other mental illness. Mark could have an illness that is only debilitating /some/ of the time. Amanda has an addiction problem. You know what would have actually helped them? A fucking support system. Some understanding. Not additional issues, JOHN.

John is, despite his tendency to target those already struggling, still an interesting person, as Zep says. He's also a hypocrite of the highest degree. Shaming Adam for being a voyeur, but drugging himself so he can lay in the middle of the bathroom floor for who even knows how many hours just so he can watch Adam and Lawrence fumble around? Pot meet kettle situation.

(I'm trying to keep this from becoming an entire-ass essay, I really am, but as I mentioned, I could do this all day.)

Adam and Lawrence's transformation throughout the movie is so intriguing to me. Lawrence, the logical Father Knows Best guy, used to always being the one in control of any given situation. Adam, low on the social ladder, prone to emotional outbursts, used to being kicked when he's down. By the end, they've become entirely different men.

Lawrence changes into an unthinking mess, acting on his out of control emotional state to an extreme degree, while Adam becomes a man who not only finally wants to live, but puts in the work to prove it, attacking Zep and killing him, with the kind of determination he hadn't shown until that moment.

The twist is still just so good. It was mind blowing then, and it's a great story beat today, almost 20 years later. When John sits up, Hello Zep playing in the background... it still gives me chills. To think of how Adam must feel, alone in a room with nothing but the dead for company, waiting on the promise of a severely injured man, thinking it's finally over.

Adam's screaming into the darkness breaks me a little, I won't lie. The horror of his situation finally overcomes him and all he can do is scream. That sound is burned into my brain, possibly for life. Then, the credits roll, with the calmness of the credits, Adam's cries still echoing before the quiet music begins to play, and the audience is left stunned. No relief for us, no relief for Adam.

In the years before the sequels, there was so much talk among my friends and I about what could have happened afterwards. Did Lawrence make it out? Did Jigsaw ever get caught? Did Adam die alone in that grimy bathroom? I used to make up possibilities in my head about ways Adam could be saved.

You see, I've always identified with Adam. Struggling to keep going, feeling outcast, chained in a place we didn't want to be, having to rely on others for help getting out, dismissed as juvenile, clinging to people that hate us because it's better than being alone, and wasting our lives because we weren't living them the way others thought we should, regardless of WHY. I had always hoped he made it out. Maybe in some other reality he does.

Anyway enough about that, let's move on. One thing of many I love about this movie is how it makes you think, really think, about what you would do if this happened to you. Would you, could you, crawl through a cage of razor wire to save yourself? Could you kill the family of a co-worker to save your own skin? Could you maim or dismember yourself?

There's an excellent podcast, Jigsquad Pod, that talks about this next point, but I have to mention it also. Jigsaw feels like a boogeyman figure. He sees your every sin. He judges you, then takes you from your place of safety- your house, on the way home from work, and punishes you. It can happen to anyone, anywhere. He can't be caught, can't be killed. He's a phantom. I love that feeling in this movie, the almost campfire story of it all, the way you might tell it to your friends in hushed voices at a sleepover.

I give Saw X ghosts outta ten. It may not be the movie James Wan and Leigh Whannell set out to make, it may have been rushed and stitched together out of all the footage they had and then some, but it's a masterpiece in my heart. It changed me, in hundred of ways I can't begin to understand, but I'm glad it did. (Not all of those ways are for the better, probably. I mean, I did spend several hours once, thinking up- in detail- what my personal Saw trap would be.)

It starts off with some promise. A storm is coming, gather your family into the safest room in the house until it's passed. I've done it plenty of times in my life and I daresay I'll do it again- so I have what you might call some experience. Which, clearly, this family lacks, as they bring absolutely NOTHING by way of supplies. Not snacks, not blankets and pillows, not spare chargers, NOTHING. Aside from Dad's thermos with what appears to be an alcoholic beverage of some sort and a few board/card games.

The bathroom itself is nice and big, which makes me wonder about the rest of the house, but we never actually get to see it. With the exception of a few flashback scenes, the entire movie takes place in the bathroom. (I'm officially calling it- Bathroom Horror is now its own sub-genre. I'm going to make a list.)

My one complaint about the bathroom is but a simple one- why in the name of CAD does the only door open OUTWARDS? Go ahead, look at all the bathroom doors in your house for me. Hell, ANY of the doors in your house. They all open inward, do they not? This simple issue is what causes the rest of the movie to unfold the way it does, so it's not like it was an oversight or anything. It's just baffling to me.

Now onto the characters. I couldn't really feel much attachment to any of them, but I did feel sorry for the kids. Dad's an alcoholic asshole, Mom's a passive aggressive adulterer, and they spend most of the movie bitching at each other at the slightest provocation. The kids are better, they're just fairly typical kids. Sister's a teenager who snarks at her kid Brother (age not stated that I recall, but he's younger than 11 I'd say? I genuinely cannot estimate people's ages.) who pokes fun right back at her. Fairly decently written siblings.

I spent most of the movie waiting for things to get weird, to get creepy, but almost the entire time is spent watching them slowly just unravel- which could have been fine and dandy except I was promised something MORE. And it would have been fine if we were given any indication of how much time has passed, because otherwise they start losing their shit about ten minutes into the storm.

The storm brings down a tree directly through the roof of whatever room the bathroom is attached to and blocks the door, which, again, opens outward for some reason. The 'windows' are far too small to be of any use, and Dad claims the walls are *checks notes* SIX FEET THICK. Now, I never actually used my drafting training to actually make anything, but I'm pretty damn sure nobody builds houses with walls that are six feet thick.

There are so many hilarious moments, but I get the sense that they weren't intended to be funny. But how else am I meant to respond to things like the World's Most Aggressive Rattlesnake and the demon not!dog? Or when, in some kind of fit of madness, Dad starts whipping Mom with the dead rattlesnake after having bitten its head off? ('Like Ozzy,' he says, because 'snakes are just bats that can't fly!')

Most of the dialogue is weirdly phrased or just unrealistic in general, as well as their decision-making. Not once do they search for anything to try to unscrew the door hinges. Towards the final scenes, Mom is able to bust through a part of the wall that leads... Elsewhere? But they didn't bother with doing that anytime beforehand, only after two of them are dead and demons kill the only other people they hear from.

But by far the most unrealistic part is when, in complete seriousness, Daughter confesses that she and her goth gf might have summoned the demon storm with a spell they found on the internet and then didn't even do right. And her parents BELIEVE HER lmao. Like, right away, even. No 'oh sweetie that's ridiculous' or anything.

Some parts felt too rushed through, and some felt too drawn out, and some I wished were handled differently. There was a lot that could have been done with this story, and it really did have some good beats, but overall it felt awkward and kind of boring. And the worst part is the ending- it finally got interesting! Mom comes back from checking what was going on outside (absolutely COVERED in blood by the by) and outright refuses to say what she saw, then there's Sounds coming from the hole she crawled through, they scream, and it ends. We never even got to see the Demon whose tongue they (for some reason???) decided to eat.