Avatar of The Web

For anyone who's still around and wants to be educated, "narcissism" is a personality disorder, which is a fancy way of saying that it's a way of existing, which has real disadvantages, but which has also been effectively criminalized by the medicarceral system. If you hate narcissists, you are complicit in the ongoing social processes which deny them bodily autonomy, human connection, and basic dignity.

-NPD has one of the highest suicide rates of any mood related disorder; slightly less impulsivity based attempts than BPD, but NPD sufferers are more likely to succeed in their attempts.

-NPD, like most cluster B disorders, is generally traumagenic, meaning it usually develops as a means of coping with childhood trauma, abuse, or neglect.

-"Narc abuse" is pop psychology with no real basis in reality. NPD sufferers are infinitely more likely to be abused than become abusers, and are typically more prone to self destructive than anything.

-If your parents sucked shit, it's because they *chose* to treat you like shit, not because they had a magic version of NPD that makes them a Bad Person. sorry you had to find out this way.

-Random people online with NPD aren't your parents and it's really creepy to project your trauma onto them.

sufferers in your life like

people or die trying.

It's wonderful for me, scary in most delightful way. It's a fall back through an endless sky with trust that there is no land at the bottom. It's a walk through impossible and confusing house with trust that next door I open will let me out. It's to be a part of something much greater than you, something incomprehensible and scary, and yet something that will drown you in its love.

Its possessive and I am in for that. It will cut my stomach open and devour every piece of me, it will cut my throat and drink every drop of me, and fill me back with part that is them, and I will let every time, and I will ask for more. It's all-consuming, like the bloody celestial fractal, that marked me whole.

And it is scary, too, hurtful as well. You will be scared, you will be changed with no way back. Even if you will step away from this practice, some part of you will be forever changed by them. Marks are forever with you, want it or not.

And it feels like home. After so much seeking and being so lost, feeling that I will never fit and something always be wrong and I need to just suck it up, it felt so right. It felt like the warmest hug and quite whisper in the ear "There you are, I got you". A drag path, with evidences, that were left on purpose, even, as was in one song that my dear friend Weaver once send, in my case they waited for so long for me to find them. And I don't want anything else. It is my home. I love Fears so much, I love my Patrons Vast and Spiral so much.

I've always been a night person, but at the same time, I was definitely Marked by The Dark (thanks to my parents 😒) as a child, so for the majority of my childhood, I would use nighttime as a way to have a few hours of personal time, but my mind would always wander to what could possibly be hiding in the darkness, so She has been with me for quite some time. As I grew older, nighttime became more of a comfort than a source of fear, and I learned how to navigate my house without any lights on (and am very proud of the fact. Very good devotional activity if you don't already know how to do so) and that eventually helped to ease the majority of the fear, seeing as I already knew my environment.

Shortly after I discovered TMA paganism, The Dark began to reach out to me, and I accepted Her call after a confirmation reading (Thank you so much, Mike, :D) and She guided me to focus on self-reflection (which I need to get back to 😅). I've had a few bouts of staying up far later than I should, and have a much stronger urge to do so, primarily out of a sense of "ew, light/daytime" and generally prefer to do things out of the house at nighttime, and I've come to realize that Her influence has extended into my nonhuman identity as a shadow dragon. Being in The Dark's domain feels very similar to being under the perfect weighted blanket, the darkness gently pressing in and cradling you as you move throughout Her. You may know where you are, but you may not know everything's exact position, things may have shifted, so there is always a risk, and you will never know if you will run into something. She is all encompassing, and you live, breathe, and see nothing but Her. I honestly wish I could be fully nocturnal, it would be a dream come true.

Feeding usually happens with me staying in dark rooms after I've turned the lights off (usually at work) or keeping the lights off when I otherwise would have them on (showers, wandering the house, etc.) also, night walks are your friend! Just be safe, carry a self defense tool and be mindful of creeps. Everyone feels Hunger differently and has different urges and whatnot, so definitely experiment and see what works best for you!

@the-witchy-sideblog and @web-wound have some fantastic resources for altars (I have one, I just don't use it very often... I need to change that lol), epithets, associations, all the good stuff! I also have stuff reblogged tagged under #the dark 🌑 , so definitely check in there for stuff!

"The King is at the Gate"

the slaughter/ the spiral/ the web

Do you want to join a cool new alterhuman server? You're 18+ and looking for a space for non human adults? Boy do I have great news!! You can stop by Mile Marker 13 for just that!! We offer a bunch of channels for specific kintypes, as well as forum spaces for any identity under the sun! We're brand new, but looking to grow, and excited to meet new members!

https://discord.gg/wc5QgsJ29p