idrk az long az you aren't hurting people I don't really care,, i like to avoid dizcource, ezpecially conzidering I have both radq and anti mutualz ;-;
my ztance on everything iz bazically, if itz hurting good people ztop otherwize I don't care
anddd it can be hard to tell if radq'z are harming people cuz like. No one'z gonna die if zomeone identifiez az having blue hair but therez definitely a pozzibility for there to be harmful ztuff (ezpecially with like the para ztuff, I zay az zomeone who technically haz a paraphilia (objectum)) zo in the end it dependz on the perzon
anyway I meant for thiz anzwer to be way zhorter but oh well
tldr; it really dependz on the perzon + I'd like to avoid conflict
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HORRIBLE community to be in by the way, like ignoring just the concept and identities, the community itself is so unbelievably toxic <- was actively groomed into it, then got groomed a second time inside of it
and being in the endo community instead again is a blessing
but I jusr thought of the best comment on pro-contact zoophilia <- has always been anti-contact even when deep in that community
and I'm frothing at the mouth that I have no where to rant about it at
sometimes I think about becoming a dark shipper or radqueer just for the negative attention, even secretly so someone would make like a document on me because I'm lying about being an anti shipper or anti radqueer but that's Sort Of Bullshit because both of those communities genuinely make me sick I Could Never
Radqueers being stupid and not reading the description of a coining which is literally nothing like their fuckass pedophilic bullshit
omfg, this is why I had to recoin paradreamer on my alt, because y'all cannot understand that paradreamers and paraphiles are EXTREMELY different. Thank you for the person who rebloged it being actually observant, they might be a radqueer but at least they understand that paradreamer is not the same as an anti contact para.
I have more ranting and explaining under the cut but for the low attention span people: Para = sexual/romatic attraction. Paradreamer = internalized glorification due to trauma/grooming which causes demonization and fixations.
I can understand how some can get paras and paradreamer mixed up but they're not the same. A para is a strictly romatic/sexual attraction to something not inherently romatic/sexual while paradreamer is a glorified idealogy to something problematic that may cause rised aggression towards the paradreamic source. Paradreamer is a label made to warn people of someone's possible aggression and fixations on certain harmful communities.
The whole concept of paradreamer is to warn people of possible aggression and how someone may act that way because of trauma or mass grooming. I can understand maybe finding the name of paradreamer or it's alt versions (necrodreamer, zoodreamer, etc) weird but hating on the label paradreamer itself is just so stupid to me, why would someone be mad that they're getting a warning.
Paradreamers aren't paraphiles. Y'all made me have to rewrite the entire description for the label because the description didn't walk you through the difference.
I might rewrite some of this rant later because as of writing this I am tired, pissed off, and to lazy to check for bad grammer.
'atypical dysphoria around wanting more trauma or wanting trauma of a specific variety to fit in with those who are deemed more valid for the trauma they have' pretty directly implies that people who have the specific trauma that person wants are in fact treated better i.e. deemed more valid.
So you can't have atypical dysphoria based on a lie you tell yourself or that others tell you? Yes I probably could have worded it better but I clarified in other places in the post as well as in an answer what I would assume would be your ask. If you are going to nitpick how I worded something just stop. That is not worth either of our time.
All trauma survivors are invalidated. All trauma survivors feel invalid. Some use having what society would generally see as "worse trauma"(which isn't inherently in actuality) to say they are more valid than others. This just feeds into the validity Olympics as those with trauma try to push the discrimination they experience onto others to try to prop themselves up to feel more valid when they do not. This was something that was discussed in the original post.
Not all trauma victims do this, not all trauma victims of what society deems as "more severe" trauma do this but some do. Even some with what society would deem as "lesser trauma" do it as well. And the search for validity amongst a group where everyone feels invalid, everyone minimizes their own experiences, it just leads so many in the community to have atypical dysphoria as a trauma response to try to fit in in a way that will never actually be a solution or give them what they want. It doesn't mean they don't stop wanting it, it doesn't mean they will stop believing the lies the world and even other trauma survivors tell tell, it just means its normal and should be more accepted instead of continuing to feed into behaviors that encourage it.
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โThe problem with transids isnโt to do with how itโs incredibly offensive to everyone involved. Itโs that uses a term I find ickyโ
The only thing stopping you from being openly radqueer is that you know youโd get pushback for it
This seems more like a troll ask based on how bs it is. I made it clear I was only talking about a small percentage of cases. Not talking about the community as a whole and made it clear how much I hated the community. Of course many terms and descriptions of experiences are horribly offensive which I acknowledge in the post as in to say this post is not about that. I don't even find the term icky and didn't say such. I know it doesn't fit and is connected to a community that makes me extremely uncomfortable with how horrid what it allows and promotes is. I know my experience is not that even if some others do not.
That's why I'm not radqueer. I started marching to the beat of my own drum a long time ago. I do not care what others think about my experiences. If I did I wouldn't have mentioned them. I am fully secure in the fact I have a trauma response I can't control, at least not right now, that is not uncommon and that some try to falsely force into the rq community based on some with that experience labeling it as such. I have never even interacted with the community just the few members that leave the confines of it or people who know members of it. So please get your bs out of here.
I'm sorry, no amount of reasonable trauma responses or feeling alone or desperate for community justifies joining the rqc. That is the child rape racism clubhouse. Nobody gets to walk in there and then whine about being treated with hostility by people outside the child rape racism clubhouse. You join a community like that, you may have whatever sympathetic reasons may possibly exist, all of the sympathetic reasons that could exist, but you are not justified in joining that place. It was founded by people whose fundamental ideology was that adults should be able to fuck children. That cannot EVER be divorced from a choice to identify with the rqc and nothing, NOTHING justifies or excuses that and I'm tired of people who are otherwise aware the community 'has problems' talking about how sympathetic we should be to people who joined, again, the child rape racism clubhouse.
I was not in fact talking about the people who joined or having sympathy for the people who joined. I was talking about not lumping in people who chose not to join with people who did because they happen to share a normal experience that is not accepted in the community. How we can treat those who choose not to join the radqueer community dispite their atypical seeming(while in reality normal experiences) with basic respect instead of lumping them in with a community like that solely on the we experience they share. As well as an explanation on why those experiences are shared by those not part of the community.
here's one thing i will say about the atypical dysphoria surrounding trauma: i also experience this and i recognize it is a very, very common trauma response. no argument at all there, not in the slightest. it's a horrible experience. what i really need, though, is for people running cover for people who use terms like 'transtrauma' and talk a lot about being jealous of other trauma survivors is to stop like... powerjacketing trauma survivors that they're specifically jealous of. no, people who did experience x trauma you wish you went through do not actually experience unconditional validation and support. no, people who 'had it worse' do not lack self doubt or the experience of victim blaming and dismissal.
generally speaking, trauma survivors are a marginalized group who are treated like shit, and while expressing those experiences of wishing it was worse, i think we all need to be REAL careful we are not in the process furthering that treatment of trauma survivors who are seen as 'well everyone knows THEY'RE valid because THEY went through xyz and everyone holds up xyz as The Worst Trauma.' because that's just. that doesn't play out in actual reality of how those people are treated.
When did I say they experience validation and support?/gen I said the community paints a false facade of it that causes dysphoria. I legitimately said that this is built partially on those people deemed as having the "more valid" experience struggling with the same thing and sometimes using it to put others down as an attempt to obtain validation and support. There is no winners here. Some people who are TransTrauma are fucked up. That does not mean that some of them don't have normal experiences that aren't treated as normal in this community and that that doesn't lead to problems.
And I was speaking out against them being treated as more valid. I was speaking out against the facade that they somehow have it better and don't struggle with the same things. I think that is just as harmful to them as it is to those being told their trauma "isn't enough." Both sides lose when validity Olympics comes into play. Because comparison is the thief of joy and hurts everyone. I believe we are in violent agreement just saying it differently.
