Weathering The Seasons

I’m high right now and I’m just thinking Am I weird?? Or do I just think of different things. I feel like I can never do one thing. It takes me so long to do the things I think about. I have to build my self up like you can do this, just go, come on after this just go. Usually I’ll know have to do something and instead of doing it I’ll wait and be anxious about when I could have done and not have to think about it. But I’ll so quick to say I’m not doing it and Im so quick think I’m not going to get and would rather imagine it I got it instead of trying to actually get it. I see having it as a fantasy and not something I can have. I’m so vague too. I have big ideas but no details. if you ask be about something and how I feel I panic and try to think of something. I’m afraid to say the wrong thing. I enter convos with being invited and I if I start a convo I want it to end quickly. I don’t notice things unless it’s obvious. I really think I’m different from everybody. I want to be around people but I want to be alone. And I don’t know if I’m the only one thinking this. Do i just want to be alone be cause I’m used to it and I’m scared to be with people. I communicate the least. I want to watch other people lives and pretend because I think I can’t do. I’d rather live in my head and talk to myself. And distract myself from real life. And I’ve wrote little things down here and there. But the lives I fantasize about and live in until I try to go into detail. I just throw them away and when people say things about me I’m always surprised it’s like I don’t know myself and come across as mean when I’m not. And I have a bitch face and don’t like looking people in th eye. People look at me and ask me what’s wrong when I’m just thinking. That’s just what I’m thinking. 😧

Beautiful pics of central park I took on my birthday 20th 6/15/2014