Dysphoria

I'd tell them I am great i feel like the king of the world

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

If only I could take it off, roll it on the ground gently

Roll it upwards and bounce it on my knees

If only I could take it off, kick it to the skies and it never comes back

I had a chance to do good I went chicken feet

I did entertain fantasies I didn't follow through

I did paddle on the shores and you sailed through the sea

Those were firstlings of my heart too but my hands were weak

Now I pray to volatility and holler along the beach

The odds look impossible

The sky looks ominous

The air is thick with prophecy

The clouds are gathering,

There is no clarity

A bird who worked all of summer and took a break in winters

Died in the cold and couldn't migrate with its folks

Past is the vain activity and futile struggle of the spring time

My friend talks to me in whispers

My friend looks at me with wonder

There is a purity in my friend's eyes, unadulterated ignorance

Inexperience and quitetude surrounds my friend's being

If I were a good person I had stay by my friend's side

Stand next to my friend and slower my pace

Isn't that what friends do? Hold on to you?

But I hate going slow. I am a mess myself.

And it gets me low. But how can I guide you, my friend? Idon't know the way.

Even if I did. Even if I could help you.

I aint no saint. I can't keep you sane.

We are both equally loons. But I learnt to fit.

I wear a mask. An imposter sheep.

You mistook me for someone else.

I aint what you see. I need to flee.

You exhaust me so. You are too much.

Get a clue. Go weave a mask.

No one will come, to lend you a hand- unless you fake a new identity.

I cant wait to leave this shithole

They treat us like prisoners

We succumb to their bluffs

Have no respect but bow to the power they wield

I have lived 21 years of my life in bitter agony here

Swallowing my rage and spitting in the confines of a bathroom stall

They sneered at us and we sneered at them

It was an endless battles of wits vs scorn

Until it ended just now for us, up come next,

I don't know if I won or if they got me

Now days are hard and nights are long

My daily existence revolved around the four walls of an educational institute

Loathing every moment of it, but it was part of my redundant routine

Now look at me? Lost in the face of an abyss

A gaping whirlwind of uncertainty and self sufficiency

French the Llama! My future is a black hole, sucking me in!

For seen dangers are a bore

My wrists are bad tonight, yes bad!

Ever since the company updated their model, I have been having pain in my finger joints.

Omg! That is relatable af. ~ Typed an other set of unsteady fingers with ninja speed.