27, 28 for the challenge! :)
Anon, this is nonsense but thatâs nothing new! I had fun writing it and hopefully you had fun reading it.Â
âNo. Regrets.â and âHow drunk was I?â
âWakey wakey, Pete. Sunshine is burning,â a baritone speaks from above and right before a hand smacks his cheek several times. âIâm giving you three seconds to wake up or Iâm sending your sister in and disappearing for the rest of the day.â
âAt last! Hey, you. Lemme see those eyes.âÂ
âGâway,â he moans, trying to slap the voice away.Â
His hand is held captive.Â
âOh no. None of that now. I need a play by play on how you managed to get your ass kidnapped, in broad daylight, dressed as your spidery alter ego, and managed to get drunk instead of drugged.âÂ
Tony sighs. âLights are off, open your eyes, and I promise Iâll try not to ask all my questions at once, but you know I donât have impulse control.âÂ
Peter squints, glaring up at Tony.Â
Tonyâs hand covers Peterâs face, lightly shaking him around from side to side, and Peter retaliates by licking his palm.Â
âYouâre worse than your sister.â
âIs this a hangover?â he questions, but his voice cracks something fierce. âAm I dead?â
âNope, not yet at least. Youâre lucky my past is colorful otherwise youâd be getting an earful.âÂ
âWhatâs this then, a powwow?âÂ
âCute, kiddo. Here.â he hands him a glass of water and Peter drains it. âAre you okay?â
He nods then groans, realizing that was stupid.Â
Tony nudges Peter around until he sits behind him and then magic happens: he gets a scalp massage and Peter melts into Tony.Â
âHow drunk was I? Last night?â Peter asks into the silence, wrinkling his nose at the stench coming out his mouth. He also asks because he isnât facing Tony and heâd rather not see any form of disappointment on his father figureâs face.Â
âFRI, replay last nightâs baby monitor footage.â
Tony pulls out his cell phone and a holographic image comes to life, showing Peter first in a makeshift cell but Tony tells FRIDAY to fast forward and then it skips to Peter singing Disney songs, both old and new. Sober, Peter doesnât think he can even blame Morgan because heâs rather guilty to confess he hums catchy songs all the damned time.Â
âDoesnât he ever shut the hell up?â
âWell, he does hang out with Stark so my answer is not likely.â
Peterâs brows furrow and he turns to look at Tony, âWhat, do they think I picked that up through osmosis?âÂ
âCriminal masses arenât always the most intelligent, you know that, bud.â Tony even looks apologetic until his grin widens then he looks downright ornery. Peterâs saw an identical expression on Morgan multiple times. âSâwhy I had to be a hero.âÂ
Peter halfheartedly swats at him.Â
Tony cackles, easily pinning Peterâs arms until heâs hugging Peterâs back and pointing at the floating images. âOooh, I like this part.âÂ
He turns to see his holographic self standing on Pepperâs dining room table, dancing clumsily, hands coasting up and down his body, then all of a sudden he stops and points out into the family room, âNo regrets because Iâm a SUPERSTAR!â
Peter groans, bowing his head.Â
Behind him, Tony laughter is booming, resounding like fireworks and if Peter wasnât nursing a hangover he would have relished in the sunny disposition. Instead, he jabs his elbow into Tonyâs stomach and twists around until he can hide away from his embarrassment, pouting in peace.