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@wearewrong
Does any other schizoid just accept the roles they're assigned? My therapist asked me why I help others so much if it doesn't make me feel anything, except discomfort sometimes. I didn't have an answer then but now I realize I'm just put in situations where the default/convenient option is helping. Truthfully, I have no drive to reach out to others. But they always come to me. I don't have a reason to decline.
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My therapist is evaluating me for schizoid personality disorder. I'm already diagnosed with schizophrenia.
My partner doesn't see it. She thinks I express emotion normally and have a normal amount of opinions, and such. I don't see it. Everything I express naturally is flat. Inside feels hollow, aside from the discomfort that comes around.
It's been months of not feeling excitement, anger, sadness, fear, there's just nothing. I'm not depressed. It's been like this since I was 14, maybe.
I express more emotions around my partner because I want to appear more normal to her, to satisfy her. But there's nothing. It's a conscious effort to show emotion.