Wayne's World V2.0

Breaking Generational Curses Starts With You & I

By Wayne Berry

The more that we stay divided then the more we are not united. Slavery started in 1619 and here, we are in 2021 and getting ready to enter 2022. I have to be brutally honest, we gotta be the change we seek and even though we had the Willie Lynch doctrine beat into us, only we can change and reject the programming. And remember, we didn’t make the Willie Lynch doctrine, only a lot of us are still following it. We are descendants of African Kings and Queens, we are descendants of Moors who unbeknownst to many ruled America before George Washington and the presidents we learned in school and Europe. We were taught “HIS-Story”, not “OUR-Story”. They did say history is spoken by the victors, did they not but I guess you didn’t hear it though.

A lot of Black women talk about how it's hard to find good men, there’s a double standard when men get tired of the bad treatment and decide to date another woman outside the race but they can do it no problem. There are good men but they are placed in the friendzone, they are working a job and also going to school or taking online classes, they may be working and also working on their own business outside of work and hustling. These are not the same brothas on the streets slinging like Kanan in Power or pimpin or in jail or having kids with women and not being fathers to their children. They are working and trying their hardest to make it happen.

I know a lot of women want love and sex but there has to be a medium. We have to get out here and work and make things happen. Current economic conditions in the world require us to work more than one job and have more than one source of income. It is not so much the fact that we do not want to love you but we have to make money and make our dreams happen. I’m not saying you have to make your dreams my dreams, by all means baby girl, have your own dreams and let’s meet in the middle like Voltron and combine, that’s all I’m saying.

I get that’s generation ME and if it’s not about what you’re doing then you’re not interested but that’s wherein the problem lies. The good Black men may not be out cheating, they may be hitting the books, on this laptop, PC or iPad or etc, may be on Zoom and conference calls and etc. I do believe everything is possible with time management and support. And support is not about saying I’m leaving you or I’m moving out the way for you to do what you do. NO, it’s not!

When that good man goes cold and gets quiet and then becomes selfish then it’s wrong or if he gets tired of the BS and leaves and wants to go back outside the race then that’s not right either. Some say like Scarface, first you get the power, then you get the respect and then you get the women. WIth power being money, when we go to work, remember we are trading time for money. Now working together as a power couple, we can work but also we can buy stocks, crypto, NFTs, and do everything and anything else to leverage money.

I want to feel like my win is your win. Your win is our win. We are building an empire like Dr Omai Kofi, check her out on Facebook, she’s wonderful. We are not only building an empire for ourselves as I’m your King and you are my Queen but we are also building this for our children and their children and generations to come. As my friend, Keith Robinson of KR BrandsIt always says, “WE HAVE TO BE THE CHANGE WE SEEK”.

For way too long, we have let the powers that be make and control the narrative and keep us divided with the Willie Lynch doctrine and for over 400-500 years, we have not smartened up and broke out of this mentality. It’s only been successful programming like the Matrix because we kept it up but we could easily end it like that.

And I felt compelled to step up and write about this. Even with myself, a lot of times I have slept and downplayed and didn’t realize my greatness and talents. And I want to inspire you to do the same. We can hustle and work like Hotep wrote in his book. Check out that book on Amazon, it’s awesome as well.

In today’s society, there’s been a growing dialogue about toxic masculinity, but there is another side to the conversation that doesn’t get as much attention: toxic femininity. It’s the set of unrealistic expectations some women place on good men, especially Black men, which can lead to broken relationships, unfair standards, and the sabotaging of healthy partnerships. Whether it's in personal relationships, celebrity culture, or historical figures like Hercules, this issue affects how Black men are viewed and treated, often making it harder for them to thrive.

The Burden of Unrealistic Expectations

There’s a myth that Black men, in particular, must meet nearly impossible standards to be deemed "worthy" of love and respect. These expectations can range from financial success, hyper-masculinity, emotional invulnerability, or an almost superhero-like ability to bear life’s struggles with little complaint. This burden often leads to men feeling inadequate, regardless of how much they contribute emotionally or financially to their relationships.

In relationships, women sometimes project these expectations onto Black men, setting them up for failure by expecting perfection. These skewed demands can lead to conflict, frustration, and the eventual breakdown of what could otherwise be healthy partnerships. These ideals paint a picture of Black men that strips them of their humanity, reducing them to a list of qualities or standards they must uphold to be deemed "good."

Hercules and the Burden of Masculine Expectations

Take Hercules, for example. Though not a Black man, his story still resonates with the pressures placed on men throughout history. Hercules was known for his strength, perseverance, and willingness to sacrifice himself for others. But this ideal of masculinity left him emotionally isolated, and the toll it took on his relationships was immense. Women in his life, like Megara, had their own expectations of him—whether it was saving her from danger or being a larger-than-life figure who could always protect her.

Similarly, Black men are expected to be the "Hercules" in their relationships: emotionally strong, protective, and able to withstand any adversity. The issue here is that these expectations fail to acknowledge the need for balance and mutual support in relationships. Just like Hercules, many Black men are not allowed to be vulnerable or have weaknesses. The moment they do, they are often criticized or abandoned.

The Impact of Toxic Femininity on Good Black Men

When these unrealistic standards are not met, some women may lash out, manipulating situations or even sabotaging relationships that would otherwise thrive. This often leads to gaslighting, where a man’s emotions and efforts are invalidated, and his contributions to the relationship are downplayed. In extreme cases, some women might even leave good Black men for not living up to these unspoken, impossible ideals.

Worse still, toxic femininity can make it difficult for Black men to recognize their own value. When constantly told they are not "enough," they may begin to believe it, which can lead to depression, low self-esteem, and a reluctance to enter future relationships. This isn’t just detrimental to Black men individually; it has lasting consequences for the Black community as a whole.

The Ex-Husband Syndrome

Another dimension of toxic femininity involves women who, after leaving good men, continue to interfere in their ex’s lives, making it difficult for them to move forward. This could manifest as spreading rumors, manipulating the children in custody battles, or just emotionally draining their former partners. Often, these actions are motivated by bitterness over the ex-husband’s inability to meet previously unrealistic expectations. By prolonging the cycle of negativity, these women not only sabotage their ex-husbands but also prevent themselves from growing.

The ex-husband syndrome is particularly harmful because it can disrupt the man’s ability to have healthy relationships after the breakup, as many find themselves dealing with ongoing toxicity long after the romantic relationship has ended.

Why This Needs to Change

It’s important for both men and women to break free from the shackles of toxic ideals. Good relationships are built on mutual understanding, support, and growth, not on imposing unrealistic standards on one another. Women, particularly Black women, must recognize that Black men, like all people, are human. They are allowed to have flaws, vulnerabilities, and struggles, just as they are allowed to have strengths and successes.

It’s essential to encourage men to express their emotions, ask for help when they need it, and embrace the full range of their humanity. It’s equally important for women to challenge the internalized stereotypes of what Black men "should" be. These stereotypes are harmful and counterproductive in forming meaningful connections.

By embracing vulnerability, understanding, and mutual respect, both men and women can foster relationships that uplift rather than tear down. Black men deserve love and support, not judgment and impossible ideals. Let’s work together to undo the damage toxic femininity can cause in our communities and relationships.

This blog aims to spark conversations around the unrealistic pressures placed on Black men and why breaking these expectations is critical for healthier relationships.

Oftentimes in relationships, we will get expectations and get upset when those expectations are not met. You can motivate and inspire your mate but do not put extra pressure on that Black man when the world is already throwing enough towards him.

Ladies be his rock and his queen 👑. Boost him up and don't drive him away. Oftentimes, we let people who are not a part of the relationship, and then things like this is how it is with my sign/horoscope and that's how I am dictate your actions. There are several famous people that are certain signs in their horoscope and they may have gotten past their tendencies to achieve greatness.

Don't let being set in your ways keep you single. Learn to compromise and be flexible. Ok, you don't side hustle and you only work. How about changing and learning to adapt. Help him! Small things go a long way. It's always strangers and people outside of a man's personal circle that will help him more than his own girl, family, and friends. When that man wants to go replace the girl and replace friends then he’s wrong. And I feel like, in a relationship, we should be a team and win together. If one person is winning and does not want to stay around when that other person needs to win or is working on the win, then it’s a one-sided relationship and that’s not cool. And for the other end of the spectrum, I never meant or intended for it not to be 50/50 and I swear it was gonna get to be 50/50 but sorry you didn't want that and want to be patient and had to worry about your needs and worries. Moreso, the worries.

Again, we have to stop letting Generation Me and being in a narcissistic society win. People are so quick to give up on one another and not make things work and we have split families where the parents are divorced, there are step-parents, baby father/baby mother drama, and all that. Everyone is either like I’ll get someone else or I am better off on my own. A relationship should not be about two perfect people coming together but two imperfect people coming together and sharing both of their worlds and making shit work. Sorry, if work got in the way of me spending time, and then we made borders that should not be there.

One of my exes back when I did have my Honda Civic, I drove as much as I could to get to where they were. I hate to say that relationship didn’t pan out. The painful fact about that was when you cared for someone more than they cared for you and the relationship/friendship was not as tight. I remember with that one trip, I would have been better off telling them I could not make it that one birthday weekend and also would have avoided a reckless driving infraction or ticket, a weekend in jail, and a $1,000 fine passing by one of the most racist areas in Virginia.

Oftentimes in relationships, we will get expectations and get upset when those expectations are not met. You can motivate and inspire your mate but do not put extra pressure on that Black man when the world is already throwing enough towards him.

Ladies be his rock and his queen 👑. Boost him up and don't drive him away. Oftentimes, we let people who are not a part of the relationship and then things like this is my sign and that's how I am dictate your actions. There are several famous people that are certain signs in their horoscope and they may have got past their tendacies to achieve greatness.

Be Humble, Don't Change

By Wayne Berry

No matter whether it's life changes such as winning the lotto or winning jackpot at Rosie's, job or income changes or new moves like George Jefferson or etc, don't change. Be the same you that you was before that. Materialistic things can come and go at the blink of an eye. Jobs where we work for corporations like if you saw the TV show, Undercover Boss only look at us as numbers that help move along their dollars.

They don't care about if you have something happen in your life, with your family or what have you. They expect you to do your job. Even now with COVID, they may want you to make certain moves if it involves going back into the office. I will leave it at that.

After working for a rental car company, I learned this myself in the most personal way when there was a downsized situation that put me out of work for several months or half a year. I also lost a car as a trickle down effect and tried to rebound to get another vehicle only to have circumstance affect again where I only was able to drive for a brief period.

The comeback is gonna be great when it happens 😊 but everything happens for a reason and maybe I'm gonna end up having nicer things that God is gonna replace. Not trying to get religious on anyone, I'm spiritual and I believe and see meaning in things and also even with some notable dreams.

Also check out this amazing app 📱 called the Pattern that breaks down your astrology and personal relationships between friends/family and their astrology where you can invite them or use their info to understand some important dynamics.

This is a reminder and also a personal blog for me too. I have not wanted to boast about this but I did work in college radio 🎙️ for different periods and even worked running boards for a Top 40 radio station. I always wanted to remain the same and treat the friends or people who knew me or even the janitor with the same respect. I have sat closely to people I have seen in music videos. Again, not gonna name names, you can directly message me if you would like to know more.