William Benson Huber

Can America Ever Hope To Regain Hollywood’s Respect ?

Two Progressive Deep Thinkers Discuss  Survival Tactics  In A “Post-Streepian Dystopia” ( Prince Belphegor of our staff took little notice of  US  politics until his consulting firm was asked by a Clinton operative (Code Name: Oscar Mayer) to help shit can the Bernie Sanders campaign. The experience so radicalized the Prince he spent months on the ill-fated  Sacco , Vanzetti & Chomsky for First…

Bob Dylan’s Nobel Prize Was Rigged !

“Literature Prize Handed Out  By Drunken , Corrupt Swedes Who Couldn’t Spell Cat If You Spotted Them The  ‘C’ And the ‘A’ ‘‘–Says Critic EXCLUSIVE REPORT  By A.E.S. –New York Times Editor  (On Leave) Irwin Freenick, considered by many to be  the greatest Bob Dylan impersonator on the  Vegas strip, once told  Variety  that anyone can do what he does in two easy steps: 1) In rapid succession down…

The Twat Of The Year– 2016’s Ziggy Awards

Plus Our Annual Toys For Twats Drive Every Yule  volunteers in festive Bearded Clam Santa Suits can be seen  blowing their candy striped Vuvuzela horns  on street corners everywhere to collect battery powered sex toys for the most annoying  twats among us. This year the need is more urgent than ever . After the  astonishing  defeat of the Portly Pantsuit , far too many alt-Left  Twats find…

Does The Left Fear A Hater Deficit ?

NYU Prof  Says NO –PC Culture Suppresses True Hate  Rates   –Relates   Personal   Nightmare Last week the New York Times  blasted  the rash of Trump  election hate crimes in an angry  editorial On a department-store window in Philadelphia, vandals spray-painted  “Sieg Heil 2016” and Mr. Trump’s name written with a swastika. In a Minnesota high-school bathroom, vandals scrawled the Trump campaign…

Are Clams Really All That Happy ?

Experts Say New Data Cast Doubt On A Long Held Belief “How the Hell  are ya ?” Is one of those hearty  greetings that too often startle us  when we’re nuts  busy or just taking the empties out in the morning.  No matter –we automatically respond with “Tickety-Boo” or “All Muffins And Jam !” Unfortunately , some people   attempt to  pry further into our personal lives with  “How are you and your…

Thinking About Ending It All ? Consider The George Washington Bridge

Orange Cones , Enraged Motorists , Outrageous Tolls and  Bleak  Views Of New Jersey Make For An Ideal Setting .  Groups Welcome As  the November blues descend on post-election bluest of blue Manhattan  , many long-time residents find themselves looking down less to avoid  sidewalk dog waste and up more  at skyscraper ledges. If that sounds a bit odd , then it’s a good bet you haven’t witnessed a…

“When Did The Monkeys Build The Statue Of Liberty , Daddy?”

Or, How To Learn Your Kid To Be Less Stupid  By Vincenzo F. Imbecilli –a recent graduate of the NGAWC “Writers Don’t Date Skanks ” Correspondence School Couple years ago I was hanging off the guardrail in Battery Park, about half baked , watching a NYPD patrol boat haul in a floater when I heard this kid asking his old man about monkeys building the Statue of Liberty. Which, in case you don’t…

New York City’s Plastic Bag Tax Stinks –Literally

Councilman Brad Lander Says He Wants To “Irritate Us”  So We Can Be Less Stupid Sickening stench, rats and disease weren’t mentioned as a consequence of  the New York City Council’s  plastic bag tax mandated earlier this month. Instead we were told our annual  use of 9.7 billion bags  destroys the environment and causes climate change ; and too , San Francisco has already taken the lead with a…

How To Live Long And Prosper

What Self-Help Weenies Don’t Dare Tell You Age ? The universe is 14 billion years old, the earth 4 billion. Everyone now on earth is sharing the same infinitesimal , millionth  of a nanosecond flash of time. Don’t worry about stages in life or being too young or too old. We are all the same age Once a philosopher , twice a pervert. Try anything and everything at least  once. That is: drugs, binge…

Disabled Vet Asks De Blasio : What About My Bathroom Rights?

Open Letter To The City Of New York  New York City Mayor De Blasio’s decree that the transgendered  and sexually bewildered can henceforth  choose whatever restroom suits their  mood and costume  has predictably brought out protesters , self-appointed experts and the always reliable wide spectrum of loons. Many—mostly men in raincoats and third world types nursing infants,let’s specify—are…

If You Buy Into Celebrity Politics A North Pole Toy Factory Is Looking For Investors –expert says “When I see an American flag flying, it’s a joke.” — Robert Altman When I see the American flag, I go, ‘Oh my God, you’re insulting me.” Janeane Garofalo “When I travel overseas I am embarrassed to be an American.” Julia Roberts “It’s called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe…

California Threatens Law Suit –Bonus:  A Superior Man Life Lesson Experts Say This Would’ve Been The Perfect Ass 20,000 BC In a stunning and  controversial vote judges unanimously bestowed top prize  to Manhattan, New York  in the Perfect Ass award  ceremony last night  in Stockholm, Sweden . The prestigious annual prize , sponsored by Derrieres Sans Frontières (DSF) known in the U.S.as  Butts…

Hardened Sex Researchers Sickened By Findings !!!   When Does It Become Less About Cycling And More About Lycra ? Why exactly  would a man don a rubberized , form fitting outfit and exhibit himself  cycling around Manhattan ? To A) emphasize his boner when  mowing  down old people , children and beloved pets (often puppies ) ? To B) save big bucks  because rents and minimum wage laws have shot…

Second Hand Smoke Is A Myth

FORBES MAGAZINE 12/12/2013 Daniel Fisher Study Finds No Link Between Secondhand Smoke And Cancer

(Photo credit: Dirigentens)

A large-scale study found no clear link between secondhand smoke and lung cancer, undercutting the premise of years of litigation including a Florida case that yielded a $350 million settlement. The article in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute details a study of…