I was reading some people’s takes and who they sided with in that arc and such. I have some thoughts. I’m sure it’s been discussed a million times since it aired but I want to gab about it. And their (Callie and Arizona) relationship.

Mind you Arizona was the first lesbian I saw on tv so she holds a special place in my heart so I’m not going to act like that bias doesn’t exist because I know it does.

But onto their relationship in no particular order.

I always see people talking about Arizona cheating on Callie and how awful she was for that and that Callie didn’t deserve it. All of that is true. However, I feel like I never see anyone mention that Callie is also a cheater? She did in fact cheat on Erica Han when she was having sex with Mark- having him teach her sex stuff to try on Erica. I suppose the reason could be that they weren’t “dating” they were just having sex. But it’s clear based on Erica’s reaction that she felt like they were dating. Or at least that’s how I read it. Also, Even if they weren’t exclusive they were technically still going on dates. Which is- dating, but anyway. Because if she didn’t think they were dating then why was she (Erica) so upset by it. I read it as cheating but perhaps not everyone does. So that’s a side tangent about Callie that bugs me. Mind you cheating is bad. All around. But these are TV characters soo

I always I see people hating on Arizona and the whole leg thing. But they don’t talk about the trauma of it all? I just think- right- that losing a leg and watching your friends die is really traumatic? So, it’s sorta of. Crazy? To assume that someone would come home and just be over it all in 3mo, 6mo? A year? Like. No. Christina went into psychosis because of it. Of course the leg, the crash, and everything surrounding it was a big thing. Arizona was permanently disabled for the rest of her life. And it wasn’t a surgery that she elected to have due to pain in her limbs or any other medical reason why you’d personally elect for having a limb removed. Not to mention that she talks about how she lost the freedom of say, skating. A thing she did with her Dad every time they moved somewhere new. She wasn’t just losing the leg. She was losing all the possibilities and hobbies and freedoms that came with being able bodied.

People say that she was so abusive and horrible to Callie the whole time. And yes. She was mean, she was upset, and perhaps even abusive. But was Callie really any better? Telling her wife that it’s been months and she should be over it by now. Over losing a limb and becoming disabled for the rest of her life? That she (Callie) also had it bad? Maybe even worse than Arizona? I’m sorry- but I just have a really hard time with that. Yes she lost Mark and seeing her wife deteriorate was probably awful. But if we’re talking about trauma Olympics. I’m so sorry but Arizona is winning. Not that it’s a competition- but you know. Callie had it bad. But Arizona absolutely most definitely had it worse.

Also the whole time I just remember Callie complaining that she hasn’t had sex which is just. Eye roll. Sex is important in relationships. I mean yeah of course. But the comfort and healing of your partner should have been more important. At least to me. I don’t think anyone would force their partner into sex if they just went through something traumatic and weren’t ready for it.

Also. Just everything about the custody battle bothers me. I’m glad it ended like it did. And obviously they went back to co parenting. But adoptive parents are absolutely still parents and them implying that Arizona wasn’t Sophia’s mother drove me nuts. And is really also a disservice to Mer? Because she also has an adoptive kid. But that’s a different tangent. Not really sure why Mer sided with Callie but anywho.

But like I said. I think the custody battle made a really good social point that adoptive parents matter which was good.

I think Callie wasn’t absolutely correct in what she did. Yes she wanted her kid with her. But, as a child with separated parents that shit is so hard. And the idea of picking up a child and removing her from her mother, her school, friends, and support system. To me just isn’t the way to go.

Mind you. Up and move her across the country for a women we’ve known for less than 6 months.

And another thing! I’m so annoyed by all of that story line. Because Callie was waiting in “the moment” as she says for Penny to ask her to go to New York with her. Penny doesn’t ever look like she wants her to come along. And Callie mentioned that she’d been in that situation in the past and she wants to go and jump in and be with her. No questions asked she wants to move she’s just waiting for Penny to ask. Like yes of course I want to go to NYC with you and uproot my life. BUT- when Arizona asked her to go to Africa it was oh- well my family and friends are here and I can’t do that.

So- she absolutely couldn’t move to Africa and uproot her life because her support system was in Seattle. But! She CAN uproot her daughters whole life, the exact thing she said no to doing to herself in the past? I don’t know that just doesn’t sit right with me. That whole situation was never about Sophia to me. Callie didn’t seem to care about how she or Arizona felt about it. Because she was so blinded by the idea of loving Penny. Penny, who she broke up with once they moved. I just think Bailey was so right saying that she was chasing tail across the country. Because. Well. She was.

She’s (Callie) so distraught after the hearing asking why this happened. Baby- the judge saw that you didn’t actually care that you were going to uproot your daughters life. Like they said her village was in Seattle not in NYC. Arizona was the one fighting not only for her right to her daughter as Sophia’s mom, but also the only one seemingly caring about the fact that Soph lives in Seattle. The place where her friends and family are. And her school. Her home.