I KNOW WHEN I GO ALL MY PARTICLES DISBAND AND DISPERSE AND I’LL BE BACK IN THE PULSE
Jules of Nature
occasionally subtle
Stranger Things
Today's Document

if i look back, i am lost
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
$LAYYYTER
trying on a metaphor



Product Placement

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
we're not kids anymore.

Janaina Medeiros
Keni
AnasAbdin
d e v o n
will byers stan first human second
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

seen from Brazil
seen from Denmark
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Brazil

seen from Germany

seen from China
seen from United States

seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from United States
@waxlions
I KNOW WHEN I GO ALL MY PARTICLES DISBAND AND DISPERSE AND I’LL BE BACK IN THE PULSE

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
❤️❤️❤️
when fiona apple said “im such an incredibly, stupidly sensitive person that everything that happens to me, i experience it really intensely. i feel everything very deeply. and when you feel things deeply and you think about things a lot and you think about how you feel, you learn a lot about yourself. and when you know yourself, you know life.”……… she knew.. she was right
The corrupted heart. Chalk lessons. 1896.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i HATE when theres a mystery to solve and i cant find my magnifying glass
sorry hun
what resembles the grave but isn't
Always falling into a hole, then saying “ok, this is not your grave, get out of this hole,” getting out of the hole which is not the grave, falling into a hole again, saying “ok, this is also not your grave, get out of this hole,” getting out of that hole, falling into another one; sometimes falling into a hole within a hole, or many holes within holes, getting out of them one after the other, then falling again, saying “this is not your grave, get out of the hole”; sometimes being pushed, saying “you can not push me into this hole, it is not my grave,” and getting out defiantly, then falling into a hole again without any pushing; sometimes falling into a set of holes whose structures are predictable, ideological, and long dug, often falling into this set of structural and impersonal holes; sometimes falling into holes with other people, with other people, saying “this is not our mass grave, get out of this hole,” all together getting out of the hole together, hands and legs and arms and human ladders of each other to get out of the hole that is not the mass grave but that will only be gotten out of together; sometimes the willful-falling into a hole which is not the grave because it is easier than not falling into a hole really, but then once in it, realizing it is not the grave, getting out of the hole eventually; sometimes falling into a hole and languishing there for days, weeks, months, years, because while not the grave very difficult, still, to climb out of and you know after this hole there’s just another and another; sometimes surveying the landscape of holes and wishing for a high quality final hole; sometimes thinking of who has fallen into holes which are not graves but might be better if they were; sometimes too ardently contemplating the final hole while trying to avoid the provisional ones; sometimes dutifully falling and getting out, with perfect fortitude, saying “look at the skill and spirit with which I rise from that which resembles the grave but isn’t!”
i feel like there’s this huge unfulfilled niche in the Dark Academia thing (kill your darlings, the secret history, dead poets society etc) for stories about women???? like can we have rakish girls quoting sappho and anxious genius poet girls, bespectacled, frantically tapping away at typewriters? wild girls trying to start literary movements and being dragged down by their own hubris? innocent girls discovering love and sex and angela carter? cute girls in 60s looking school uniforms investigating ~mysterious happenings~? going to class the next day hungover and exchanging knowing glances? can we just have. the thing
I raided my bookshelves and came up with these:
The Chinese Garden (1962) by Rosemary Manning
“In a girls’ boarding school in the late 1920s, a world of iron-willed authority, frigid rooms, and forbidden friendships, sixteen-year-old Rachel struggles to find a place for herself. When a rebellious student introduces her to a mystical, secret part of the grounds, the ‘Chinese garden,’ Rachel becomes torn between this hidden world of sensuality and pleasure and the formidable, controlling headmistress who inspires Rachel’s intellectual growth.”
Miss Pym Disposes (1948) by Josephine Tey
“Miss Lucy Pym, a popular English psychologist, is guest lecturer at a physical training college. The year’s term is nearly over, and Miss Pym–inquisitive and observant–detects a furtiveness in the behavior of one student during a final exam. She prevents the girl from cheating by destroying her crib notes. But Miss Pym’s cover-up of one crime precipitates another–a fatal ‘accident’ that only her psychological theories can prove was really murder.”
Olivia (1949) by Olivia (aka Dorothy Strachey)
“Olivia is sixteen years old when she goes to Les Avons, a finishing school near Paris, run by two Mademoiselles. It is a place of few rules, of laughter and lively conversation–a welcome surprise for a reserved young English girl. But the gaiety and freedom of Les Avons is only surface deep and emotional liaisons and jealousies form the hidden curriculum. Very quickly Olivia too is caught up in its spell, overwhelmed by her increasing infatuation with Mademoiselle Julie. Here she describes the powerful allegiances and repressed desires which smoulder at this secluded school, and the intensity and desperation of adolescent love.”
Regiment of Women (1917) by Clemence Dane
“In a small English town, just before the Great War, battle rages over Alwynne Durand, an appealing but dangerously inexperienced young teacher. Two women struggle to win her love and loyalty: Elsbeth, her fiercely protective aunt, and the formidable Clare Hartill. A brilliantly charismatic teacher, feverishly adored, Clare’s power is great–her abuse of it greater. Greedy for love, but incapable of returning it, she compulsively destroys the affections of those she most needs.”
The Small Room (1961) by May Sarton
“Anxiously embarking on her first teaching job, Lucy Winter arrives at a New England women’s college and shortly finds herself in the thick of a crisis: she has discovered a dishonest act committed by a brilliant student who is the protegée of a powerful faculty member. How the central characters–students and teachers–react to the crisis, and what effect the scandal has on their personal and professional lives, are the central motifs of May Sarton’s sensitive, probing novel.”
Frost in May (1933) by Antonia White
“The Convent of the Five Wounds, where Nanda Grey is sent when she is nine, is on the edge of London–but in 1908 it is a world unto itself. For the young girls receiving a Catholic education behind its walls, religion is a nationality, conformity an entire way of life. In this intense, troubled atmosphere, passionate friendships are the only deviation. Nanda is thirteen, a normal, quick-witted, spirited girl, when, catastrophically, she breaks the rules and pays too large a price for her transgression.”
The Getting of Wisdom (1910) by Henry Handel Richardson (aka Ethel Richardson)
“Henry Handel Richardson’s novel is a coming-of-age story, set in turn-of-the-century Melbourne. When clever and imaginative Laura Rambotham leaves her home to attend a prestigious ladies’ college, she finds herself compromising her ideals in an effort to fit in. The Getting of Wisdom is a portrait of an artistic and unwieldy soul chafing against stuffy ordinariness, told with great empathy and passion.”
“Healing, I don’t know. The nobility of suffering; I’ve got questions about that. But the creation of language that sustains. The letting go of violence and bitterness and hatred, well I believe in that. I believe in that to save myself, to not be who they tried to make me, to resist being what I couldn’t be too easily. […] The greatest challenge that I faced, it really is the question of how you survive what no one believes is survivable. How do you claim dignity when everyone in the world saw you carted away, ripped shredded […]? How you become a human creature again. That’s what narrative does. That’s the deep thing narrative can do. You do that thing when you take your time, when you place yourself in the room with people who have survived the unsurvivable, the unspeakable, the horrible. You take a breath. You take care. You be truthful. You cure your own bitterness by doing the work. It is the only solution I know.”
— Dorothy Allison, “A Cure for Bitterness” from Critical Trauma Studies: Understanding Violence, Conflict, and Memory in Everyday Life

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century
I like everything in him; he is one of those for whom one would demand the best of oneself.
André Gide, from a journal entry written c. March 1929 (via violentwavesofemotion)
—Pema Chödrön
Studies show that most emotions last no longer than 90 seconds unless we attach stories to them. You have a feeling of being lonely—and this will pass through you quickly unless you make up a story about how you’re lonely because you’re unlovable and worthless and nobody will ever love you and you’re going to be alone forever. When you attach to the story, you suffer needlessly and the suffering can linger for years. But you don’t have to choose to suffer this way. Your soul can find peace, comfort, and stillness even in the most difficult times if you’re able to view your negative emotions from this witness position.
Lissa Rankin | @wnq-psychology
The Fear Cure: Cultivating Courage as Medicine for the Body, Mind, and Soul
(via fyp-psychology)
I was not emotionally ready for this!!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Charles van den Eycken (1859-1923) - Three kittens, oil on canvas, 44,5 x 56,5 cm. 1893.
“I’m just gonna put my paws in the water.”
Tbh I thought the cat was gonna fall in but this is just a nice peaceful video