Sometimes, because we have nothing in common, Mel and I have big fights. This all started when I told someone that my neck glands felt weird (idk man, they did). The person promised that they would not "gland and tell," and I thought that was funny, and I WAS RIGHT AND MEL WAS WRONG probably.
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Played by Mel every week; written about by Mae in this three-part thing. See part 1 and part 2.
For me, the bad thing about D&D is that it’s audience-less improv. And although this isn’t super conducive to living in Chicago, I kiiiiind of hate improv. I hate doing improv in any way (FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN) and watching it (SYMPATHY FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN). Also once, I took a writing class at Second City, not realizing that it was still basically an improv class. This led me into the world of non-consensual improv, where I had to a) play “Whoosh” every week for eight weeks, which in class is referred to as a “game” but it’s really just non-competitively saying “Whoosh!”, and b) spend a lot of time in the “classroom," which was a windowless basement. Bleh.
Anyway. My real beef with improv is that yes. In improv settings, every once in a while, someone (usually TJ or Dave) has a brainwave and does something funny or groundbreaking. But I think that's rare. A lot of improv falls back on stereotypes (creating the delightful subgenre Racist Improv!!!) or other shared understandings/tropes about like, what aliens are, or how dating is, or how dysfunctional families fight. Most improv ends up as this hollow rehashing of stories everyone already knows.
In the end, I just think that creating good stuff takes time and thought and hard work. I do not think there is a way around this. So D&D is fun as like, a game! And a social experience! But a big part of the game is collaboratively writing this fantasy epic together, and because it’s improvised, it’s always going to be less thoroughly imagined than, say, a fantasy book. Like Harry Potter or even Dune (which I hated so much that I sort of hate real sand too). Part of what I like about making up stories is like, going back and revising them to be better and more cohesive! That is fun to me. And that’s not allowed in D&D.
Also, D&D stories seem to slant towards combat and plot, rather than like, character development. I think combat and plot are stressful (I hate suspense/stakes of any kind; I just want to watch silent joyful montages all day long). At the same time, I think combat and plot are boring; I am way more interested in people’s emotions and relationships, and I think of plot/war as basically a rack to hang that shit on, rather than things unto themselves. However, Mel says that is more a critique of this specific campaign than D&D as a whole, which I think is more flexible than I even understand. So this is a pretty tentative thought.
Alright. This concludes my Bible-length review of D&D. Thanks to Mel and friends for letting me play! And for letting me make my character’s name Big Mae <3 <3 <3 the best gift of all.
Dungeons and Dagons, Part 2 of 3: D&D as Small Talk
Played by Mel every week; written about by Mae in this three-part thing. See part 1 here.
To me, the best thing about D&D is that it is like a freaky, creative form of small talk. Me and Mel for some reason talk about small talk a lot, and how it’s necessary if you plan on ever making new friends, but also sort of terrible. It’s terrible because the arena it can roam around in--the Polite Conversation arena--is so small and predictable. And if you wander outside the arena, you are just as likely to come off as an oversharer or a weirdo as you are to come off as interesting.
I figured out how deeply small talk is a set script when me and my friend started playing a game where you slightly fuck it up. It started with a real conversation:
ME: I bought new underwear today!
HER: Oh cool, was it clean?
NOT A THING.
But then we started doing fake ones, like “What’d you do this weekend?” “Saw a movie.” “Oh cool, what time did you go?” OR “Oh cool, where’d you sit in the theatre?” Both wrong. But it was sort of illuminating for me, how objectively wrong that stuff is. And it helped me understand why small talk is boring--it’s a conversation where there are right and wrong answers.
D&D is a way out of that! It’s about as impersonal as small talk, if not more so--I can imagine playing D&D with someone for years and never finding out about their family or job. But the game replaces that info with info on how people use their imaginations, which is sort of hard to find out about someone in normal life. Like sure, I know this person’s vital stats, but what do they do when they have to dig up a magical flower in a fantasy world??? D&D seems a lot more conducive to like, funky and satisfying human connections than small talk is.
Dungeons and Dragons, Part 1 of 3: Best of My Inbox/Bad D&D Crash Course
Played by Mel every week; written about by Mae in this three-part thing.
Here’s a piece of a real email from Mel’s Dungeonmaster, from the day before I sat in on a Dungeons and Dragons session:
Other than that, the only thing to figure out is your character. I'm happy to just whip something up on the fly, but the cool thing about DnD is that you can be anything you want, so do you have any preferences? You wanna be, like, a big axe person, sneaky person, magical person, super cool healing person? Do you want to be a, like, goblin, or an elf, or a giant guy? I can work with whatever you give me.
Probably the most nurturing and collaborative email I have ever received. I (obviously) asked to be a flying wizard. He said:
Let me see what I can find. Magical dudes are easy, and totally fun to play. As for flying... I could probably find you some powers that let you float sometimes, or you could be a literal pixie wizard and just sort of hover all the time?
These emails really stand out in my inbox as a) some of the best ones, period b) the only non-Harry Potter content about wizards and c) one of 17 (?!?!?!?!) results when you search “just sort of hover all the time.”
In the end, my character had a power where she could low-key float in any fight. If she had some more time on her hands, she could also conjure a big flying Frisbee that lasted a whole day. She could ride it OR make it carry her stuff, like an open-face magic purse.
It was the best. Thanks Dungeonmaster!!!
(Meanwhile, here’s what’s going on in real life: You are all sitting around a table. Each of you has a shopping cart full of dice. You are talking about what your characters are doing and eating a breakfast casserole with potatoes in it.)
Beyond sharing relevant deets of the fake world, the Dungeonmaster also plays all the characters that aren’t in the party. When I played, these characters included violent Mud Men (infinite waterfalls, but of mud) and evil frogs riding alligators/maybe just bigger frogs???
At the same time, the normal players are monogamously playing one character each, trying to figure stuff out by asking the Dungeonmaster questions and rolling dice to see if they have the knowledge/agility/etc. to get the answers. Sometimes, their characters get into battles--then there is a board with a grid on it, and everyone has a game piece, which they move around while using their battle powers. Each power involves some inherent, un-loseable skill (having the power listed on your sheet), but also an element of chance (you have to roll a die to calculate its ultimate level of effectiveness). I like this and think this reflects how skills work in real life :)
Also--to keep track of who they are, every player has a packet (here are some random quotes from my packet, which I now creepily keep on my nightstand: “Saving Throw Mods” “Max HP” “Empowering Lightning” “Sleep”) that lists all their powers and food supplies and general traits.
Anyway. This whole crash course is terrible and a farce, since I don’t actually know how to play. But I tried to know! And this is the extent to which I succeeded! If you actually wanna find this shit out read like this or something.
Recommended by Mae, who made Mel answer this multiple choice question:
WHICH LYRIC IS THE BEST?
a) Your plane's missing a CHEF
b) Every car driven was decided by the horse
c) How could you relate when you ain't never been great???
d) 36 years of doin dirt like it's earth day
e) [fill in your own]
MEL'S ANSWER: E, with A as a close second. When I hear "hard to get a handle on this double-edged sword," I can't stop imagining someone literally trying to handle a sword by the blade and becoming increasingly frustrated. [Ed. note from Mae: And bloody! :D]
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I get scared really easily, so I'm not particularly suited to a movie where (spoiler) every single person dies, one via blender. That's not why I hated it, though--people die in wonderful movies, such as A Walk to Remember and Step Up 5: The Reaping (not a real movie). I didn't even hate You're Next because all the people were murdered! People get murdered on Sherlock every day, and I feel privileged to see those freaky corpses.
The thing about You’re Next that truly sucks is that it’s BORING. I mean, it’s scary, but it’s a fear-jerker. You are scared because there's spooky music and spooky creaking and when someone nice is in the foreground, there’s always something scooting around in the background with an axe. But it’s also shallow and stupid, for the following reasons:
1. The characters have like three traits each. Ex: filmmaker with girlfriend and scarf. One third of his personality is scarf.
2. There’s all this STUPID DEAD TIME. Where like, a girl walks around a house to scary music. A mom takes a vitamin to scary music. Somebody looks at a door to scary music. No character development happens in these chunks! No interesting information is conveyed! It’s just like, “Hello viewer. We’re in a house with doors. A death house.” According to Mel, these scenes “create tension,” but I just feel like you can create tension without real-time chronicling of chores.
3. The movies answers three questions: When will all these people die? How will they die? Also, why are they dying? It answers these questions clearly and competently and that. Is. All. It's SO unambitious it felt like it was vacuuming all the complexity and subtext out of my life.
Because those questions don't matter to me!!! I would much rather see a movie about a dude going from an innocent child to an adult hiring a sheep-masked hit squad than THIS movie. Which is just about like, the mechanics of a hit squad doing its job, and which directions its victims run when they're scared. It doesn't even explain the sheep masks!
COUNTERPOINT: I had a fun time! :D
BY: Mel
I should open my counterpoint with a public apology to Mae. I didn't know that You're Next was going to be a relatively cut-and-dry home-invasion-turned-revenge flick; I was under the impression that it would be more accessible and creative. Mae, I'm sorry.
THAT BEING SAID, I did enjoy it, because it was a decently executed cut-and-dry home-invasion-turned-revenge flick. Shallow and stupid? Depends on how you're watching it.
1. The characters have like three traits each. Well, that's almost necessary, considering that we've got an entire family to kill off at the onset. It's a balancing act—you have to get acquainted with everyone just long enough to recognize who's getting murdered at any given moment, but not any longer, because the story isn't about them. It's about how they die. Character matters little in this story, a fact that makes the story shitty or uninteresting to many people. What matters is the situation and the universal emotions (helplessness, fear, anger, surprise, disgust) that it evokes.
Of course, truly great horror has well-developed characters. This was simply fun.
2. To quote Mae, “Hello viewer. We’re in a house with doors. A death house.” I mean, yeah! That's the point of going to the horror movie, isn't it? To transform the house into a frightening place, where a door isn't just a door anymore?
As for the dead air and "building tension"...agreed, those scenes aren't exactly cerebral. They're pretty dumb. Chalk it up to pacing. A truly great horror movie will make those moments count toward the film as a whole, but You're Next needs to fill the space between screwdriver-stabbing and blender-to-the-face. It works, though, because we aren't just watching people do chores, we're anticipating a disruption. We're steeling ourselves, relaxing, then tensing up again. The movie's playing with you, not asking you to examine the mom as she takes her vitamin. Some people like that, some people don't.
3. I think that every new horror movie has to be very ambitious. It's trying to distinguish itself in one of the most predictable genres. You might not be interested in the "when/how will they die?" question, but that's what keeps horror fans entertained. They want to see the film push the envelope within these restrictive questions. I think that You're Next accomplished that particularly well with one scene near the beginning, when a woman runs onto the porch (TO HER UNTIMELY END).
I'd certainly argue that it's an art form, albeit one that doesn't appeal to everybody. Why it appeals to anyone at all is a topic that has spawned a lot of literature, and one that I love to dig into...but for the purposes of this post, I'll conclude by saying that I had a very nice night at the movies, and I hope that we are still friends. <3
I don't know how to start this exactly but, this is not a real email! It's an email for our blog and it's about being ditzy.
I thought we should do a post about this because in my experience, you don't act ditzy, even as a joke. Whereas acting ditzy was my #1 favorite type of humor for a long time (and to some extent still is, although it's losing ground to Strange and Gross Comments). I started doing it pretty consciously--I thought of it as the more evolved alternative to jokes at other people's expense, which I told all through middle school because I sucked in middle school.
I figured that if I was the butt of my own jokes, there was no chance of meanness. And if I exaggerated my ditzy side--which is totally real, I totally like, fall over and get confused and call bananas "that one long food"--I felt like no one would think I was fishing for compliments. Acting ditzy/self-describing as ditzy has more of an "I don't take myself seriously" subtext, I think, than an "I feel genuinely bad about myself" one.
There are some obvious downsides to a ditzy schtick, like people thinking you are dumb as shit, but I still think in some situations the pros outweigh the cons. At the same time, I think one of the great things about meeting you was that by hanging out with you, I picked up some ways to joke around that didn't convey arrogance or meanness OR ditziness.
Which makes me especially curious about your thoughts on acting ditzy--do you actively avoid it? Have you tried it out? How do you react when you encounter ditzy-seeming people? Gooooooo timeeeeeee
<3
FROM: Mel
TO: Mae
I contest the claim that I don't act ditzy as a joke—ditzy is a fun voice to do!
When an ex-boyfriend of mine met you and said, "she seems like kind of a ditz," I was offended on your behalf, because you and your sense of humor are far from ignorant. So, I'm surprised that you say you've relied on ditziness for jokes...I never thought of it as a comedic style, and certainly never thought of it as your style.
I suppose I can see it now that you've talked about it. The problem is, you're too smart to play all-the-way ditzy, and that's why it's hilarious. "That one long food" is not how a truly ditzy person would describe a banana. Your ditziness is parody.
So, no, I don't actively avoid a ditzy shtick. (I'm flattered that you characterize my humor as not arrogant or mean, but also confused, because I would characterize a lot of my humor as arrogant or mean.)
When I encounter ditzy-seeming people, I tend to suspect that the ditziness isn't genuine. I can't stand it when people purposefully dumb themselves down, for whatever reason. I've done it, of course—it's a pathetically reliable flirting mechanism—but it's lazy and manipulative.
And if someone is just a genuine ditz...Well, I'm not sure that's even possible. What does being ditzy mean? That you express naiveté a lot, and unintentionally? I don't know, anyone is bound to do that, and if you do it frequently, then it just means that you're exploring topics that are outside your expertise. Or that you literally can't learn, in which case you might have a learning disorder beyond ditziness.
I'm struggling to think of anyone I know who deserves the label of "ditz." And that may be my ultimate problem with it, that no one is actually a full-blooded ditz. Ditziness is a demeanor, and often a calculated one.
FROM: Mae
TO: Mel
Re: your sense of humor being arrogant and mean, it sometimes is, but ALWAYS about animal facts/people who don't know bomb ones. Which is just not that cutting.
Re: what being a ditz even means: I think it means expressing real naivete a lot, but intentionally. So I don't think it's "dumbing yourself down," because the naivete is real, but it's a sort of calculated... deployment of naivete. It's a choice to be vocal about what you don't know, instead of what you do, and sort of skew your self-presentation in that direction. So yeah, it doesn't read as 100% genuine to me either.
And it IS a pathetically reliable flirting mechanism, in my experience too; once I was talking to a family friend and he was like, "Kellie Pickler [that American Idol girl] is so dumb, it makes my heart flutter." ????!!!??? ~@~ V.v.V :-O
That was really surprising to me because WHAAAAAT but at the same time, it makes sense. A ditzy act really complements this "expert" act that I saw a lot in college--where people, especially guys, who were not on the forefront of intellectual thought at all spoke SO authoritatively about things they SO peripherally knew about. This act was, I felt, more embarrassing than a ditzy one, and bred a lot of conflict between faux-experts trying to one-up each other. In school, I sometimes acted ditzy around those dudes--not to sleep with them (ew) but just to opt out of their weird one-upsmanship games.
Which was a calculated use of ditziness, but not in a conniving way? And I think ditziness can serve a lot of constructive purposes, like setting people at ease if they seem scared of you, or diffusing tension between faux-experts by giving them a victim to explain things to. (This is a very gross role to play, but sometimes SOMEBODY's gotta do it, faux-experts can really fuck up a party.) In the end, I am pro occasionally acting ditzy. It can smooth out awkwardness in a way that's worth it, so long as you don't overuse it and forget how to act your real level of competence.
FROM: Mel
TO: Mae
Even if you skew your self-presentation in the direction of naiveté, if you're being honest, you're probably not being ditzy. So it seems like we differ in the definition, a bit. I do agree that ditziness is a "calculated deployment of naiveté," but to me it is also more, it has to involve some acting. If you're just expressing ignorance about a topic, then that's brave, good on ya. It's when it veers into self-deprecating, "lol i'm so dumb" territory that it becomes full-on ditzy.
That's why I don't think that acting ditzy can ever be truly constructive—it's conflict avoidance, so yes, you might prevent a fight between faux-experts, but otherwise you're not doing anyone a favor. You're letting both faux-perts off the hook, and you're casting yourself as a distressed damsel, someone so vacuous that they need to stop one-upping each other and both hold your hand (general "you," here, of course). It'll probably make their egos bigger in the long run, which means more faux-perting at more parties. An act shouldn't beget an act. Someone has to call someone out.
So, useful? Maybe, but when it's that hyperbolized naiveté, I think it's kind of cowardly and bad. (It's also gendered, something we've fluttered around in this conversation.)
Rather than dive into that character, I think it's healthy to admit that you don't know much about a topic at the outset. If you do it naturally and you really are curious, then that's fine. It seems like this is closer to your definition—someone who might come off as air-headed when they're simply not bashful about expressing their lack of knowledge. And if that's the case, anyone who accuses you of being a ditz is just a butt.
Recommended by Mel all day every day, "reviewed" by Mae
Me and Mel used to do a fun thing at work where we would update our gchat statuses to shame and honor each other. For example, once I spelled celebrities "celelbrutis" and Mel made that her status for a while. Which is part shame but also part honor, because amazingly, I did that without being drunk!!!
Another time, she wrote this joke I loved about falafel, and I made it my status, probably with hearts around it. I found the actual joke, too: "Falafel was invented centuries ago by the Egyptians, who called it 'pha la phel,' meaning, 'the hackey sack you can eat.'"
Our fun chat status friendship game is over now, though, thanks to THE STUPID GIF ABOVE that has been her gchat status for probably one calendar year. Here are my feelings about it:
1) Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
2) One of those critters is a tumbleweed because the gif itself knows it is boring.
3) If you hate this gif and squint, it looks like it depicts God farting.
4) The blue guy at the end seems really nice and is the only part of this gif I would EVER hang out with.
4.5) Blue guy would clearly be in Hufflepuff, as would I. If we hung out, we would discuss this.
5) The wind is super strong in the foreground, but the background trees are stationary. Not realistic and just generally upsetting.
I wish I could get this gif out of my life permanently, but in her status Mel links to it as a bit.ly, so I am ALWAYS hopeful that it is a new bit.ly. I click on it constantly. It's inescapable. One day, I will probably marry it, against its will and mine :(
[EDITOR'S NOTE FROM MAE: I found this list of services while researching an archery center for work, and I was really excited about what a total piece of gibberish it was. Mel was a little less excited, but as part of the “cultural exchange” or whatever that is this blog, I asked her to write a post defining these inscrutable services. And she did! She is the best!]
Complete Inspection/Tune: The staff will conduct a complete inspection of the bow, followed by a tuning (you pluck the string to see if it's in tune).
Wheel Timing: Some crossbows have wheel mechanisms on them to help distribute the resistance of the bowstring. The staff will time how quickly these wheels spin. A standard speed is one revolution per second. Any faster, and you will draw the arrow back too quickly and hit your nose. Any slower, and the bow will explode, like in Speed.
Draw Length Adjustment: They will adjust how far you can draw the bowstring back. The alternative is to adjust yourself, but as you know, you should never change.
Nocking Loop Installation: To "nock" an arrow is to ready it for launch by slipping the notch at its back onto the bowstring. So, a nocking loop installation is...when you...geeze, what?
Custom Cable/String: They will string your bow with a custom cable or string! I'm back on the horse, guys.
Peep Installation w/Tie-in: If you are an expert marksman, they will have you shoot at a marshmallow peep instead of a standard bullseye. They will tie the peep down so that the wind does not carry it away.
Sight/Quiver Installation: They will install a sight, like a scope, onto your bow. They will install a quiver onto your back, so you are some kind of steampunk cyborg.
Nock Set Installation: See "Nocking Loop Installation."
Poundage Set Adjustment: They will put a set quota on the number of "pounds" (fist bumps) you may receive from fellow guests after a particularly sick-nasty shot.
Basic Arrowrest Set/Adjust: They will build a basic bed for your arrows to rest in for the night. They will adjust the bed according to the softness preference of your arrows.
Dropaway Rest Set/Adjust: The same as a Basic Arrowrest Set/Adjust, but the bed has a dropaway trap door in it that you can trigger, causing your arrows to fall through and wake up at a moment's notice. This service is perfect for assassins or anyone whose job requires speed and improvisation as well as arrows.
Cut Arrow to Length: They will cut an arrow to the length you desire. The longer the arrow, the shorter it has to fly to hit your target, so try to get it cut as long as possible. Anyone who uses arrows shorter than six feet is a pretentious showboater.
Arrow Fletching: They will put feathers on the back of your arrow. The feathers are called "fletching." They help the arrow to blend in amongst the birds you are trying to shoot.
Use of Chronograph: They will use a watch to tell you the time.
Bow Rental: They will rent you a bow. A true hunter has her own bow, however, and until you carve one out of a tree you have felled yourself, your name shall be "She-Who-Lacks-The-Sight."
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1) Mel did not include the video above in her post, because quality-wise it's a little peasanty. However: watch it. Watch it right now. Waste 42 seconds on motions you will never forget.
3) As for the makeover scenes Mel didn't like--I am pro makeover scenes. How you dress is not a purely superficial thing. It's a signal about confidence, and it also correlates with what you think looks "good," which is a cultural signifier--it can mark you as someone who is into high fashion, or someone who is into sports bars, or whatever. Obviously, there are other ways to indicate your confidence and subculture, but I don't think big reactions to makeovers are inherently objectifying or superficial. I think all the sitcom characters who do makeover spit-takes are reacting to the visual and the suggested persona change.
Also, I like Jess specifically starring in makeover scenes because yeah, most of the time, her roommates aren't thinking about how she looks--they're thinking about how she's a wreck. I hate the idea that because Jess is pretty, people should react to her as "hot" at all times. You can absolutely negate your looks by being weepy and awkward, and she does; the guys need a physical transformation to defamiliarize her and put her looks on the table. I feel like the New Girl makeover scenes reaffirm that yeah, shiny hair is great, but it's even greater to watch Dirty Dancing less than once a day.
I was SO into this show. I give it 500 stars and three out of three Sherlocks! Part of why I liked it so much was that my old roommate watched a lot of Law & Order: SVU, so I have spent a lot of time in the same room as that show, passively osmoting it into my brain. But Sherlock had a) a more intricate puzzle than any SVU episode, b) a more creative one (linked suicides!), and c) AMBIGUITY.
The sociopath part was the hardest for me to stomach--Sherlock is super rude to his landlord, ditches Watson at a murder-y abandoned house, constantly tells people they're dumber than him, etc. My mom always told me that if people are really smart, they can figure out how to be nice, and I fully buy into that. It's unsettling, seeing Sherlock SO observant while solving crimes and SO unwilling to apply that scrutiny to other people's feelings. But the show seems excited about probing his grossness. And Watson's (fyi Watson just casually murdered someone). So hopefully it will all end up more interesting than disappointing.
The TRUE issue with the show is that it's low-key suspenseful, so only people who love me unconditionally should watch with me. I can totally watch suspenseful stuff, but a built-in part of that process is me yelling "WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN" all the time. Like, even after the credits are rolling (because there's gonna be a second episode and what will happen then!). Mel is a very patient soul.
Quick roundup of other Sherlock things I liked: Nice grayish scenery everywhere; Watson is hot; the women are styled to look naturally beautiful instead of TV actress beautiful; everyone is very accepting of gay people :D
hey ,read ur opinion about drive by and drops of jupiter ..he wrote drops of jupiter for his dead mom, it's not just a shitty love song.. just wanted to tell u that cause this fact makes the song incredibly good with loads of deep meaning :)
Our first actual ask! Thank you, anon!
And, it just goes to show that I should do my research.
Wikipedia clarifies:
Lead singer Patrick Monahan has stated that the song was inspired by the death of his mother, and that the opening lines came to him in a dream.
The song portrays a man wondering whether a woman’s journey to find herself still leaves room for him, whom she had left behind.
Is the woman supposed to be his mother, or a lover? Either way, there’s some nuance there…and Drive By is still terrible.
You’re our very first anonymous ask! You didn’t really ask a question, but you seem like you’re in good spirits, and we’re glad you’re staying positive. Thanks for reading our blog and co-writing it with Mel, who doesn’t like New Girl that much because she is from space.
Because my roommate watches the show regularly, I've caught snippets of later New Girl episodes. I've liked what I've seen—the writing seems sharp and different. Also Schmidt is a hunk-a-lunk.
Jess's character has an utter lack of shame when it comes to her emotional vulnerability and embarrassing habits. That's an admirable tack, and an exciting one at first. But the more I saw of her, the more I was annoyed by her over-the-top childishness. She's honest with herself, but she's also dumb in a way that is more frustrating than entertaining. She needs the three new men in her life to come to her rescue at the ends of episodes 1 and 2, simply because she proves too sad and stupid to resolve her own mini-plots.
I couldn't stop drawing comparisons between Jess and Liz Lemon, because both female protagonists rely on self-deprecating humor. With Liz, the jokes are given life by her wit and passion. With Jess, all of the jokes seem flat and self-fulfilling. She's wallowing, pointing it out, and repeating the cycle; a cycle tinged with awkward quirkiness that I just don't find endearing. Her jokes seem like the most "random" and lazy ones on the show.
And, okay, I have to know, is that just how Zooey Deschanel talks? She sounds like a drunk sleepwalker. It reads like another forced part of her oh-so-frumpy-but-adorable persona, and it bothers me a LOT on a knee-jerk level. ENUNCIATE. HOW ARE YOU A SCHOOLTEACHER.
I suppose it's refreshing to have the star of a sitcom be unapologetic for her personality. I just wish that her personality rang true to me. Instead, it serves as a launching pad for the far more interesting personalities of the guys. Nick and Schmidt's interactions were the best parts of these episodes, seeing as Winston hasn't had much time to shine yet.
I'm being this harsh (and writing this much) because I do think that I'll end up liking the show a lot. When it did make me laugh, I cackled. I think that Zooey Deschanel is talented and I want to see Jess become more than a hot-but-inept goofball.
...Aaaaand I could do without multiple "makeover" scenes. When will we get rid of this fucking idiotic trope. She puts on a sexy dress and suddenly the dudes are AWAKENED to find that GLORY BE, SHE'S BANGABLE. I feel the same exasperation whenever she's contrasted with her HAWT MODEL BEST FRIEND. They're both stunning, and to imply otherwise by artfully rumpling Jess's hair and labeling her the weird one is to insult my intelligence.
(Schmidt sort of makes up for this when, at episode 1's conclusion, he reassures Jess that he would totally do her.)
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1) We both say "(drank)" at random times in our work gchats, because "Swimming Pools" is really sad and good, and "lunch?" "(drank)" is way better than "lunch?" "yeah."
2) Today at lunch, we both sat near an ant that was trucking around a piece of chip WAY bigger than he was. We liked him and rooted for him.
