Melancholy

Slowly, deliberately, Leon lowers his hand.

"I know what you are." The words are worn thin by exhaustion.

Yellow eyes stare into his, searching for weakness like a starving animal looking for scraps of something to eat. To keep. To maul. Something that would bring them back to what was comfortable and safe...

Leon does not look away.

"And you forget what I am."

Not a saint, no, Leon has long since accepted he never will be a saint. The Belmont name will be carved into history with bloodied hands long after Leon's human life ends.

His wrist remains trapped beneath Jochaim's hand despite removing it from their cheek, but he makes no move to free it.

"If I believed every creature irredeemable, I would have put that whip around your throat the moment I met you."

A pause.

"And if you were truly only a beast, you would not be warning me now."

That, Leon thinks, is the cruelest part of it. Monsters did not warn others away from themselves. Monsters did not tremble at the possibility of becoming worse. That fear belonged painfully, terribly, to something still capable of conscience. Something human.

His gaze softens despite himself.

The little Belmont acts as though he knows everything about him, as though he can read him like a book. Maybe he can, maybe Joachim leaves the pages open and bare without realizing, but it doesn't ease the terror that comes with being seen. Being seen meant the other had leverage, which meant the other could hurt him and Leon certainly wasn't shy about mentioning the fact that he could have if he'd wanted to.

Who is to say that at any moment, he couldn't change his mind? Decide he wanted to? At the drop of a hat, at the flick of a finger. One boring evening of rain pattering against the windows and suddenly it's just pain pain pain pain pain--

For a brief moment his grip tightens on the others wrist, a slight tremble in his hand before he seems to come back to himself, releasing the humans wrist all at once like it had burned him.

"Maybe you should have." Maybe that would have been mercy, maybe that simply would have been the easy option. What happens to vampires who die with uncompleted business? What happens when they die at all?

"And yet, you didn't. Now we both must live with that choice." The words come out softer than he wants them to. Pale eyes flicking down with a slight uncertainty as the man moves to brush aside his hair. He doesn't try to bite this time, lets him do it.

It feels different, than the way Walter would touch. Doesn't make him feel like a dog being rewarded for sitting.

Maybe it's the fact that Leon let him snap and snarl and still did it anyway. No punishment in between. Just mutual understanding.

Like he was a person, not a dog at all.

[ tug ] sender tugs receiver behind them during a tense moment

[ pull ] sender pulls receiver out of harm's way at the last second

[ tuck ] sender stares at receiver and quietly reaches up, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind receiver's ear

[ yank ] sender yanks receiver closer to them, ending up in semi-suggestive close proximity

[ steady ] sender grabs receiver's arm to steady them before they fall over

[ walk ] sender moves around receiver and walks closest to the street as they travel down the sidewalk, keeping receiver away from any potential danger in the roadway

[ untied ] sender drops to their knee and starts tying receiver's shoe for them

[ spoon ] sender lifts a spoon towards receiver's mouth, encouraging them to eat

[ trace ] sender traces receiver's lips with their thumb

[ pin ] sender pins receiver to a tucked-away spot in the shadows to avoid being caught

[ neck ] without a word, sender dips down to receiver's throat and kisses them soundly

[ handheld ] sender slips a hand behind their back and grabs receiver's fingers as they stand behind them

[ carry ] without asking, sender takes receiver's heavy bags from them and carries them

[ lock ] sender and receiver lock eyes across the room

[ drink ] sender brings receiver a drink and holds it to their lips, insisting they take a drink

[ reload ] sender reloads receiver's gun for them in the middle of a fight

[ shelter ] sender uses their body to shelter receiver from an explosion or attack

[ carry ] sender picks up receiver and carries them off the battlefield and into a safe spot before running back to the fight

[ toss ] from a secret hiding spot only receiver and sender can see as they avoid an enemy, sender silently gestures to receiver to toss them (their gun, something valuable, etc.)

[ stairs ] sender offers out a hand to help receiver ascend or descend a staircase

[ cover ] sender covers receiver's eyes so they don't witness something gruesome

[ fix ] sender comes up to receiver and fixes their collar and/or tie

[ shake ] to convince receiver not to do something, sender hastily shakes their head from a distance

[ watch ] from a distance, sender taps on their watch to show receiver they're running out of time

[ i'll go ] sender gently pushes receiver back, taking charge and insisting they will handle the dangerous task

[ reach ] through a locked gate, sender reaches for receiver's hand

[ ship ] as receiver's ship takes off from the planet, sender waves to them from the ground and watches them leave

[ protect ] after someone threatens receiver, sender rushes over and gets right in their face to protect them

[ punch ] after someone attacks receiver, sender rushes over and punches them in retaliation

[ nip ] sender playfully nips at receiver's neck

[ knuckles ] sender kisses receiver's knuckles in a polite gesture

[ squeeze ] sender gives receiver's butt a playful squeeze from behind

[ danger ] as an all-powerful receiver is about to lose control of their powers and cause massive damage, sender finds their eyes and tries to talk them down

[ goodbye ] without saying a word, sender approaches receiver and kisses them goodbye

[ wipe ] sender wipes a tear from receiver's face

[ location ] without saying anything and giving away the surprise, sender takes receiver to a secret spot

[ hold back ] sender has to hold back receiver from attacking someone

[ game ] sender lets receiver win a game they're playing

He notices all of it and still, he does not pull away. He trusted the other, which in and of itself told much on how Leon viewed him…

The hand against Joachim’s face remains steady despite the flinch, though something in Leon’s expression flickers for the briefest of instances. 

“You are thinking too hard about whether I fear you,” he says at last, voice low. “If I did, I would not stand this close.”

His thumb shifts slightly against Joachim’s cheek instinctively, caressing the smooth skin. 

“You did fail,” he says, returning to his earlier point without mockery. “But it’s not because you were weak. You were furious. Starving. Desperate.” A beat. “And Walter had spent over a century ensuring you stayed that way.”

The very mentioning of what the other did seems to cause disgust and bile to rise up to his throat. The hatred that radiated from the former knight was almost palpable before he schools his expression and forces himself to be calm. Again. 

“I have seen men in better condition break easier. I should know, I’ve caused men to break when I needed information. I was…not the nicest nor kindest of knights, but one never is when it is the church involved. When it is their war and they use us to hide their crimes—”

His gaze flickers downward briefly as he cuts himself off when Jochaim speaks again. At this, he could only give a wry smile. 

“You may frighten idiots if it amuses you,” Leon replies dryly. “Just refrain from maiming them.”

There is the faintest ghost of humor in it. Then Joachim speaks again, quieter this time, and Leon feels the shift immediately.

The confession is, admittedly, heavy and for a long moment Leon says nothing at all. 

Slowly, his hand lowers from Joachim’s face.

“You survived long enough to forget there could be an after,” he says quietly.

“I think…” Leon exhales softly through his nose, eyes drifting briefly toward the dark horizon beyond the trees. “When revenge becomes the only thing keeping someone alive, there is little room left to think beyond it.”

His gaze returns to Joachim.

“I know that well enough, as well.”

Sara’s death was still very fresh: fresh enough that some mornings he wakes with the instinct to check her side of the bed to make sure that it was a dream…but all he sees is emptiness—except for the whip. 

The alchemist (Mathias in this case) remains a goal because Leon does not know what else to do with all the fury left in him. The fury from being betrayed, from being used…

“I have goals, but they are selfish in the end…because I am selfish.”

A quiet admission, though he tried so hard to ignore the fact everything he has done has been selfish, even now, and yet—he couldn’t. So he keeps pretending. 

“You do not need to decide immediately,” he says. “You have had freedom for only a handful of months after more than a century without it.”

His brow furrows faintly. 

“That would leave anyone unsure and at best confused, but you should decide what kind of man you wish to become before the world decides it for you.”

Leon knows exactly what happens otherwise. He has seen it. Hell, he has lived it. Lived and became a puppet of the church, a twisted creation of Mathias even!

His eyes flick once more to Joachim’s fangs, then back to his face, entirely unbothered by them despite the hunger he noticed moments before.

"Have you thought beyond it?" The words tumble from his lips before he can stop them, sounding smaller than he wants it to. After the alchemist is dead, is there an after for Leon Belmont? Or will he retire to the countryside and spend his life in grief? Well, he supposes that is an after, in its own right. A shame, but a possibility.

Just as an after for him could be his own type of grief. Grief for the sense of control and autonomy he may never get back. Grief that leads him in a circle to becoming just like him--

He feels that terrible itching under his flesh again, accompanied by the aching need to flee. He suddenly feels raw, carved out in a way that he wasn't sure he was ready to face. Gentle hands, and understanding looks felt like a pitfall over running water. Like waiting for safety to be yanked out from underneath.

A hand snaps harshly against the wrist that had been holding his face, but not enough to damage the hunter, only to keep him still. Pale yellow eyes fix on the other, as he tilts his head and bares his fangs. He's not going to do it, but he wants to see the other slip, wants to see the doubt, wants to see him reach from the whip. He wants the safety net of distrust and threats.

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 :

➔ you're gonna be okay , just keep your eyes on me. ➔ don't move - you're going to make it worse. ➔ it's not that bad. ➔ you saved me once before , now it's my turn. ➔ you fucking idiot , you weren't supposed to take the hit for me. ➔ i told you not to do that! now look! ➔ you're lucky that i know basic first aid , or you'd be dead! ➔ stay with me, okay? stay awake. ➔ i'll be as gentle as i can be , i promise. ➔ you're bleeding - oh my god , you're bleeding. ➔ you told me it was a scratch , this is not a fucking scratch! ➔ there's so much blood. ➔ next time you want to play here , just don't. ➔ stop fighting me and let me help! ➔ you're banned from doing anything remotely dangerous. ➔ you could have died , what were you thinking? ➔ if you die on me , i'm going to be pissed off. ➔ you didn't have to be so reckless just to prove a fucking point. ➔ the wound will heal but you'll have a scar.

𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :

“…You think very little of me.” He says, displeasure coloring his words. “I do not pity you.”

A gentle sigh.

“If I had, I would have put you out of your misery the moment I found you.”

Blunt, perhaps, but he was honest as he had always been. 

He steps forward again to close that distance Joachim keeps trying to define between them. 

“You were not a helpless animal,” he continued, voice low and controlled. “You tried to kill me. Repeatedly.”

A faint exhale through the nose.

“That alone negates you from whatever fragile thing you are trying to compare yourself to.”

His eyes hold Joachim’s now and they are gentle like the summer sky, but there is a steely coldness. 

“I let you live because you were still fighting, because even in chains, even mad with hunger, you chose to resist instead of break.” A pause. “That is not something I discard lightly.”

Leon’s jaw tightens faintly, because he did, truly, understand which he made such known:

“Because I understood it. What you are feeling, I understand all too well.”

The raw, unguarded tremble in his voice makes itself known and then it's gone, replaced by a quiet contained anger. 

“What it is to be used. To have your will taken from you. To be left with nothing but the aftermath.”

His mind briefly flashes to Mathias, to the church…then to Sara…oh dear, sweet Sara please grant him the understanding to be there for this wretched creature. 

“But do not mistake understanding for indulgence. If you chose to walk away and slaughter indiscriminately, I would stop you.”

He reaches out to gently touch their cheek, his palm warm against the coolness of his skin.

“Not because I own you and not because you are chained to me.”

A step closer still, there is barely any space now between them.

“But because I will not allow that kind of destruction to stand while I have the strength to prevent it.”

His gaze flickers, searching Joachim’s face.

“You are more than what was done to you,” Leon says softly. “But what you choose to become after that is your own doing.”

....

“I did not let you live to look down on you.” His brow tightens faintly. “I let you live because I believed you were worth the risk.”

Leon does not look away.

"Yet, I clearly did a bad job of it." Well, if Leon was being blunt then he could be too. He had truly wanted to kill him in that moment, take his blood and throw his swords at Walter with all his fury. As though it'd of ended any different than the first time.

He doesn't move away, though he seems almost unsure of the humans approach. "I..." He finds himself stumbling over his words in a way that very much wasn't like him. He feels more off kilter with every word the hunter says.

Understanding was not something often granted to Joachim Armster. Not even during his days as a human. People had already made up their minds about his character and place in the world from the moment he'd been born. There was no room for change or growth or self expression in the world of humans he'd known.

And there certainly hadn't been in the endless night of Walters domain.

"I won't... spill blood, but at the very least you could grant me some entertainment value? Let me strike a little fear into them?" He wants a way to fight back, to not feel like he's letting them get away with saying or doing whatever they like to him. Even if he'd rather tear out their throats with his teeth--

He feels a hand gently come to rest against his face, and reflexively flinches in response. He mentally curses, and tries to force his expression back into one akin to neutral.

Leons gaze is intense, but the vampires sight wanders to the wrist now ever so close to his face. The thin slit of his iris expands, not unlike a cat who's spotted moving prey. His jaw clenches, as he chokes back the urge to tilt his head and bite.

He's not an animal, he can control himself. This feels like a test.

"You know... I spent so many years fantasizing of killing him, but I never thought about the after." In truth, he thought he was going to die down there. That one day Walter would get bored of him, drain him and turn him to ash. Or that he'd finally send down an opponent strong enough to kill him. "I don't think I ever truly expected to get out."

He never thought of a scenario where he got to leave the castle.

So in short, he has no idea what he wants, or the type of person he is. He just knows that he never wants to be without the moon and the stars again. The wind and grass and trees and the warmth of a fire.

if you are sending to a multi-muse, remember to specify the muse that the sentence starters are being sent for .

who . . .

“ Who are you? ”

“ Who do you serve? ”

“ Who taught you that? ”

“ Who’s really in control here? ”

“ Who are you running from? ”

“ Who did this to you? ”

“ Who’s coming for us? ”

“ Who do you think I am? ”

“ Who else knows about this? ”

“ Who are you trying to protect? ”

what . . .

“ What are you? ”

“ What do you want from me? ”

“ What are you hiding? ”

“ What were you planning to do? ”

“ What just happened? ”

“ What did you see back there? ”

“ What did you promise them? ”

“ What happens if I don’t let you go? ”

“ What are the rules I’m not supposed to break? ”

“ What happens after the portal closes? ”

where . . .

“ Where did you come from? ”

“ Where are we? ”

“ Where are you going? ”

“ Where were you when it happened? ”

“ Where does this path lead? ”

“ Where did you get that scar? ”

“ Where is everyone else? ”

“ Where should I stand? ”

“ Where did you put the body? ”

“ Where were you hiding all this time? ”

when . . .

“ When did this start? ”

“ When were you going to tell me? ”

“ When was the last time you felt safe? ”

“ When do we leave? ”

“ When did you stop trusting me? ”

“ When does this end? ”

“ When did you realise the truth? ”

“ When do things go wrong? ”

“ When did you choose this path? ”

“ When will you look at me and be honest? ”

how . . .

“ How long have you been watching me? ”

“ How did you survive? ”

“ How much do you remember? ”

“ How are you this calm right now? ”

“ How bad is it? ”

“ How did you know my name? ”

“ How far are you willing to go? ”

“ How many lies have you told me? ”

“ How do you live with this? ”

“ How are we supposed to fix this? ”

are . . .

“ Are you human? ”

“ Are you okay? ”

“ Are you lying to me right now? ”

“ Are you scared? ”

“ Are you tired? ”

“ Are you hiding something? ”

“ Are you bound by oath or by magic? ”

“ Are you trying to start a fight? ”

“ Are you always this dramatic? ”

“ Are you going to explain or just stare? ”

do . . .

“ Do you trust me? ”

“ Do you remember your name? ”

“ Do you remember me? ”

“ Do you miss them? ”

“ Do you always talk this much? ”

“ Do you have any idea what you just did? ”

“ Do you ever sleep? ”

“ Do you want me to stay? ”

“ Do you think I’m stupid? ”

“ Do you believe in fate? ”

have . . .

“ Have you eaten yet? ”

“ Have we met before? ”

“ Have you been here long? ”

“ Have you done this before? ”

“ Have you ever killed someone? ”

“ Have you been lying to me? ”

“ Have you lost anyone? ”

“ Have you forgiven yourself? ”

“ Have you always been like this? ”

“ Have you already chosen a side? ”

is . . .

“ Is this place real? ”

“ Is something bothering you? ”

“ Is that weapon even legal here? ”

“ Is this your idea of a joke? ”

“ Is this your way of flirting? ”

“ Is someone watching us? ”

“ Is it supposed to hurt like this? ”

“ Is there a way out? ”

“ Is this what you wanted? ”

“ Is it too late to turn back? ”

can . . .

“ Can I ask you a weird question? ”

“ Can you hear that? ”

“ Can I trust you? ”

“ Can you keep a secret? ”

“ Can we slow down? ”

“ Can you help me bury a body? ”

“ Can you look at me? ”

“ Can we talk about what happened? ”

“ Can you stop pretending? ”

“ Can you promise me something? ”

will . . .

“ Will you stay with me? ”

“ Will you tell me the truth? ”

“ Will this ever end? ”

“ Will you protect me? ”

“ Will they come back for us? ”

“ Will you remember me? ”

“ Will you choose a side? ”

“ Will you regret this? ”

“ Will you still look at me the same way? ”

“ Will you stop me if I’m wrong? ”

should . . .

“ Should I be worried? ”

“ Should we be running? ”

“ Should I follow you? ”

“ Should I be afraid of you? ”

“ Should we pretend this never happened? ”

“ Should I stay or go? ”

“ Should I believe you? ”

“ Should I be honest with you? ”

“ Should we trust them? ”

“ Should I have come here? ”

would . . .

“ Would you do it again? ”

“ Would you lie to protect me? ”

“ Would this have been different if I had stayed? ”

“ Would you really let me die? ”

“ Would you have saved them instead? ”

“ Would you still care if you knew the truth? ”

“ Would you leave if I asked? ”

“ Would this hurt less if I understood? ”

“ Would you forgive me? ”

“ Would you choose me this time? ”

could . . .

“ Could you survive without me? ”

“ Could this world exist without you? ”

“ Could this get any worse? ”

“ Could you teach me how to do that? ”

“ Could you be wrong? ”

“ Could you be lying to yourself? ”

“ Could you forgive them? ”

“ Could this be a trap? ”

“ Could you handle the truth if I told you? ”

The instinct is there—sharp, honed, and coiled beneath his skin like a second pulse—but he does not indulge it. Not when the other’s voice fractures at the edges like that. Not when the anger smells so strongly of something far less stable.

“…Are you done?”

Leon’s gaze does not waver, blue eyes fixed on the slit of gold before him, unflinching.

“I am not keeping you anywhere. If you wished to leave, you would have already.”

Leon exhales slowly, and it's so very clear this is a common occurrence since the other spared him.

“I told you once already. I do not want needless bloodshed.” He reiterates. His voice dips and a cold chill threads around them. “Because I will not deal with the consequences of reckless killing when it serves no purpose.”

Now he steps forward, crowding Joachim in the same way he was crowding him.

“It was one human. If something had come of it, I would have handled it.”

There’s a flicker there—pride, sharp and unyielding.

“Besides, you and I both know: you were not necessary to kill Walter.” A small, almost pitying smirk. “I knew that when I agreed to it.”

A pause. His gaze does not leave Joachim. “I let you live anyway, because you knew as well you were not needed, yet I still allowed you to help me.”

The pitying smirk becomes a touch arrogant, but none the less honest for Leon could never hide his true intentions nor feelings. Much to Mathias's dismay most days.

"Oh, so you would just let me walk away then? No questions asked? Wouldn't worry at all about me attacking some village girl or whatever you think all vampires do." It's clear in his words that he doesn't believe him. It's the illusion of freedom. There's no physical chain there, but they both know what Joachim will do if left unsupervised. They both know Leon won't allow it. And so they remain at a standstill.

Joachim stays still as Leon tries to intimidate him, not making any move to shift away. He wasn't afraid of him. He was a vampire, as conflicted as he was about that fact. He wasn't afraid of this little human. He held a begrudging respect for his skills, but that was it. That was all. He was a little afraid.

No, the intimidation doesn't get him to move, but the pitying little smirk makes his skin itch, makes him step back. "Shut, up." The vampire hisses, fangs bared.

"I don't need your pity nor do I want it." But his words bring to the forefront a question that has gnawed at the recesses of his skull since he'd been freed. If Leon knew he didn't need him, then why let him live? He'd tried to kill him, and failed rather miserably. He could have mercy killed him, or just left him there.

"Rising with the sunrise. One more step, let it all out, louder.No more praying, it's the time to rise up"