brace yourself

still like genuinely pathetic the parallels here. this is like when i read designations. can i stop with the being defined by sci-fi media PLEASE its getting embarrassing.

AND hes malnourished. this sucks man. cant i at least have a rock to have sex with

THIS SUCKS I DONT WANNA BE REFLECTED IN THIS GUY COME ON

ok. tomorrow i’ll call back the psychiatrist place LMAO maybe they’ll be able to hook me up with a good therapist too

well at least i let myself have wants now. that’s One thing i have. kind of. barely. a tiny bit. god fucking damnit oh this is pathetic

ok but my problems with loneliness being reflected in this fucking shitty middle school science teacher who fucks rocks is actually horrible. i cannot be doing this PLEASE

fumbling all bids for connection forever. maybe they should shoot Me into space so i can go be codependent with a sentient rock

i can’t spend time with the person i want to spend time with because they’re busy actively fixing their life and that’s good but i should be doing the same but im not doing fucking anything so like what reason will they have to bother with me when their program is done. there isn’t one

i just want to be held and i want to feel real and i want to feel like i matter as Me and not as someone else or a piece of property

i feel like i’m supposed to be better now like im basically at the end of my iop but im not better im suicidal again im doing nothing ever nobody ever wants to see me because im fucking insane i don’t know why im still here

i feel like i make a lot of bids for connection that go nowhere

nope still hate your ugly ass boyfriend

i’m like half convinced i’m just going to spend my life rotting at my dads house doing nothing forever