discrete

You having nothing to do with me does nothing positive, you had 8 months of that, and your still not where you want to be. You deleted thousands of messages you took literally years of memories from me under the guise of making new ones with me. You put into writing that you felt bad about never really trying and you said you were here now. You claim you wanna get better but you dont want meds and your isolating yourself and staying in the same enviroment youve been in.

I give up. Are you happy now? I really hope you actually try to fix yourself. You need to be honest with a therapist and honest with yourself. Your default way to cope is to shut down or run away and nothing is ever going to get better as long as thats what your doing. The problem is you, no amount of running or isolation will fix that because its in your head, its how you think. Im not going to force myself on you that wont work nor is it positive at all. I love you, please help yourself.

Call me please?

I wish I wasn't so shitty and you still really liked me. I miss you a lot right now and I wish you were here. I miss your voice and your dimples and your scent. I lit a bowl with a lighter you put nail polish on earlier and I looked at it and felt so weird. I hate not having you in my life. I miss you, I wanna hold your hand and look upon you, your so beautiful, when your around I can't take my eyes off you, I try not to stare and weird you out but its still hard to believe your real sometimes.

Are you just gonna never talk to me again and advise others to do the same? Idk you just kinda wrote me off and act like you hate me now. A week ago you had no problem with me. This is all very mean and spiteful and I haven't done anything to warrent it. Last time I saw you you pointed out how youve been there for me when others werent, well where are you now? As Nin and Jimmy said earlier, why can't everyone just hang out and get along? I love you Montana.

Noones ever gonna love me again. Not like you. You know everything about me and you still love me. Nobody else will. Its really depressing.

You say I'm dead, well if that's true you killed me. You took everything you could from me, blamed me and walked away when there was nothing left. I stuck with you through so much fucked up shit and gave you so much time and energy. I'm no different than I was when you were talking to me from Cali. You accepted me just fine then. You come back and meet new people and now I'm nothing to you. What did I do that was so terrible? You helped make me this way, the least you could do is help me fix it.