YOU'RE SO COOL NOW!

‘i’ll make you something, yeah? your favorite dish, just for you.’

‘let’s get you back to bed.’

‘shh, it was just a nightmare.’

‘you like this, don’t you? i remember you saying that.’

‘i drew up a bath for you.’

‘you need rest.’

‘you ought to be asleep.’

‘i bought two.’

‘here. you can have the rest.’

‘i thought of you when i saw this.’

‘i like your smile.’

‘you have a cute laugh.’

‘stay there. i’m coming there to get you.’

‘it’s okay, i’m here, we’re okay.’

‘be careful.’

‘look both ways.’

‘you mean so much to me.’

‘i can’t lose you.’

‘i thought i might have lost you.’

‘how to you feel about the nickname, (insert nickname)?’

‘it looks good on you.’

‘i’ll make you soup.’

‘ah-ah-ah. you’re sick. you need to stay in bed.’

‘are you okay in there?’

‘that’s it, that’s it. get it all out. shh.’

‘it’s a remedy i knew. helps with your throat.’

‘it’s a lullaby. would you like me to sing it to you? would that help you fall asleep?’

‘i’m worried about you.’

‘what do you want to watch?’

‘where would you like to go for dinner?’

‘close your eyes and hold out your hands.’

‘we’ll figure it out.’

‘oh, it’s not big deal. you’re fine.’

‘i brought you some medicine for your cold.’

‘you’re important to me.’

‘this is your favorite song, right?’

‘you’re like a son/daughter to me.’

‘good luck!’

‘you’re like a mom/dad to me.’

‘don’t say that about yourself.’

‘want to come with?’

“wow! you look really nice.’

‘goodnight, (insert term of affection).’

‘it’s okay. i couldn’t sleep anyway.’

‘you can have half.’

‘come here. let me fix it.’

‘your tie is crooked.’

‘c’mere. shh, it’s okay.’

‘i’m not going to hurt you.’

‘can i touch you?’

‘can i kiss you?’

‘can i hug you?’

‘promise.’

‘would i ever lie to you?’

‘i think you’re very beautiful/handsome.’

‘hey, good-looking.’

‘of course i care. you’re my family.’

‘one more chapter.’

who are you?  .. the devil? 

i remember the night of my 21st birthday. 

that was the first time i died. 

(name)? hello, (name), wake up sunshine. 

whats the matter, you pussy? you get one little baby tap from a nightclub bouncer and you go to sleep on me? 

i already told you, he don’t look so good. 

(name)’s gonna rip my nuts off.

oh man. man, we screwed the pooch on this one, (name).

you know what (name) is like. you don’t collect, best not come home.

maybe he’ll be nice, because it’s (name)’s birthday.

the guys a piranha, (name), he wouldn’t know ‘nice’ if it smacked him upside the head with a 50 lb sledgehammer.

we gotta get a plan. 

i mean, (name) was adamant, right? 

maybe. but we gotta get there, first. 

hold onto your lunch! 

hahahah, christ, (name), you’re gonna kill us! 

i told you they were coming. i heard the sirens. didn’t i say i heard the sirens? 

you hear sirens in your sleep, (name). 

two jobs in one night, like we’re slaves or something. 

c’mon, load up and help me out! 

take your time! don’t worry about us getting our heaves BLOWN off! 

hoo hoo, they got new uniforms! did you see those new uniforms they got? pretty sharp! 

you wanna drive straight, i can’t get a bead! 

i am driving straight. you shoot straight! 

waste the guy on the left, i’ve got the one trailing! 

what the fuck is this? they knew we were coming! i say ambush! am-fucking-bush!

oh god .. it hurts! 

hey, i’m dying over here! 

jesus. i wouldn’t wanna do that again.

these pants cost me 400 bucks over at sals. now they got blood stains all over them. 

some fuckin’ 21st birthday for you, huh? here. got you a present.

now this looks real bad. real bad. go find out whats going on, and get the hell out of here. 

that’s like asking a goddamned shark to share its dinner.

you ever got that loan you applied for?

how can he still be standing?

you know, you been a pain in my ass since the day i met you.

he’s just a parasite. wants to bleed me dry. 

i saw him! he came out of the window! down there – he’s going towards the cemetery! 

where is he? i don’t see him no more. 

darkness will fall.

hey, don’t shoot me, son.

i live here. smells like satans bunghole, but it beats freezing to death. 

yeah, nice place, angel statue and everything.

there’s a gate at the north end. they got a lock on it, though. 

through you, i will display my power. through you, i am born.

you are nothing but my puppet.

i’ve heard people complain that life is unpredictable. 

what happened to me today, thats why i need you, (name).

you’re the only one i can count on.

he put his boys out to look for you.

i steer clear of that little rat like he had the bubonic plague. what the hell did you do? 

money was involved. i was unconscious at the time. 

it aint fair, man. that asshole wont let me play my harmonica spot unless i give him a couple hundred bucks.

big guy, he’s always hanging here, goes by the name of (name). 

you just gotta know how to persuade a guy. wait here.

i never would say this to no one, but you’ve got a good heart.

i wouldn’t put much stock into crack-pot theories like that. 

stay in the shadows, (name). 

happy birthday, rat face. 

are you okay, babe? you’re being kinda quiet. 

i’ve got a real problem, (name). 

(name) isn’t a teddybear. he’s a fucking psychopath, and he’s gonna kill me.

kill you? what are you talking about? what exactly do you do for (name) anyway? 

i’m .. i’m a contract killer. i, uh, kill people, for (name). i meant to tell you. i just didn’t know how.

what? are you nuts? you are nuts. this is just like you. 

lets take one day off from ‘fucked up.’ 

lets just sit here for a while. okay?

are you cold, (name)? god, it’s freezing in here.

i heard about what happened tonight. i don’t need to point out to you that this is a bad situation.

this has been one messy afternoon. 

you get yourself over here, but tread lightly. 

i’m about to get my ass handed to me by a very nasty scumbag. 

i do this only for you because of who your father was. 

make sure no one sees you. i’ll leave the backdoor entrance to the kitchen open.

ah! you got the wrong guy! please! stop! 

you turned out to be a real motherfucker, (name).

(name) knows everyone’s business, but what keeps him alive is that he never, ever chooses a side. 

too bad there’s a war coming.

i heard you coming from a block away. those expensive italian shoes make you sound like a fuckin’, bull-elephant. 

fuckin’ cops, all i need now, huh? 

always, always, they gotta call me when i’m eatin’ dinner. 

good enough. what happened to you tonight? 

i wish the hell i knew, (name). i don’t know. 

next thing i know, i’ve got the 5th italian cavalry riding my ass. 

you know me, i never choose sides. whatever the problem is, its up to you and (name) to solve it.

i wouldn’t put it past him to throw (name) on your ass.

if i were the kind of man to be involved in things like this, i’d take down (name), and pull all his merchandise out of the building. but i’m not, see? 

ah, fuck. the cops. this is why i don’t get involved. get back inside. 

i got too many fucking people asking him questions. 

and now i’ve got a lot of cleaning up to do. all because you don’t know how to play dead! 

but you’re gonna be in the ground, (name). sooner or later. it makes no difference to me.

i used to come to these piers pretty often. most of the time it was to fit some poor asshole with a pair of concrete boots.. people don’t swim so good wearing boots. 

the best way to (name)’s heart is through his ribcage with a meat cleaver. 

one clean shot and he’s dead!

i guess it would depend on the moose.

what say you slip me a couple of bucks, hey? i gotta take a train. 

yeah, nice try. you tell him. 

well. (name) took the evening off. i’m the new guy.

this human is evil. 

lets kill a commie! 

they burn, (name). all the little ones. such delicate torture of the body and soul.

its kinda like being rescued from a shark attack by a grizzly bear.

there was no warning. we only heard the sound of gunfire.

that was our home, (name).

i don’t know what to do or feel about it. all i know is that it’s evil.

it’s a terrible thing, sweetie. it’s a terrible thing. 

they say you can still hear the cries of the dead and the dying as you sleep.

you are going straight to hell, you know that, mister? 

he had this bad habit of killing the wrong people all the time. 

(name) threw him under the train down there.

i wouldn’t hang out around here if i was you, pal. i mean, there is somethin’ that just ain’t right about this place.

human flesh.. festers. 

when you kill for a living, life’s only precious when you’re staring down the barrel of a gun – or someone you care about is.

(name) can have my life, my possessions, anything i own. anything, except you. anything! 

remembering something, (name)?

finish your soup, (name), be thankful.

did you feel that? it got so cold, all of a sudden.

this will be a night to remember.

too late, (name), love dies.

learn that you are my puppet! now watch this.

fuck you! why are you doing this! 

be still and watch! 

okay .. please don’t kill me.

your flesh is mine. your will is mine.

whats the matter? don’t know your ass from your elbow with all that demon shit?

you see a happy ending here? you figure you got something to bargain with me? 

we hurt you, you hurt us, like some fuckin’ game we’re playing here. 

she’s mine! 

and when blood takes from blood, someone always pays. so now, i take from you.

(name), this is not your fault.

awww, what did they do to (name)? 

she was a burden. this is freedom. 

where are you going? 

no, (name), this is not your time. 

no! cannot! must not! 

we shall spend eternity together.

you wronged me, (name). you betrayed my gift.

you should not be here. 

i would like to do some mischief! 

i think i got it.

hell has no form. it bends to my whim. 

this is my dream.. for you.

the sun grows ever darker.

the flame of life shall be put into shadow. 

all men are cattle.

you’re giving away our position, you idiot!

you’re with that other yank, aren’t you? 

bit of a sticky wicket, ey? 

can’t tell you much. need to know basis. 

i’ve seen things down there that would make grown men cry.

maybe this place isn’t a place at all.

i mean, i’m supposed to be dead. 

i think i’m in hell.

go back, or be lost forever. worse than hell! nothing can come of this. turn away!

nothing for you here!

its a lie, (name).

i, on that familiar hill, saw with uncomprehending eyes a hundred sunsets spill their fresh and sanguine sacrifice. 

i know there are a lot of things you’re not going to understand, but you have to trust me.

(name) is a living thing. it’s some kind of a creature, old as time. 

it needs a host, i guess. 

i messed up, (name), i brought it into the family. i didn’t realize it would do this to us.

everything happened here, (name), this is where it all began.

how do i stop this? and how do i get out?

listen. there might be a way to control it.

promise me that you’ll go find them.

it’ll lie to protect itself. just keep going, don’t look back.

go no further, (name). 

anyone who says the subway is dangerous never sat in the back of a yellow cab.. going the wrong way.. at ninety miles an hour.. through the midtown tunnel.. with a guy who can’t speak a lick of english.

AND IF I DISAPPEARED, WOULD YOU CARE TO LOOK FOR ME ???  

NEW IN TOWN

❝  I was hoping that by now I would look older. ❞

❝  I never thought about how to handle real problems in adult life. ❞

❝  Looks like regular sand, but then you’re gonna start to sink into it. ❞

❝  That’s pure mom. ❞

❝  Luckily, I had a good alibi. ❞

❝  It’s a grid system, mother fucker. ❞

❝  Of the racial slurs, that has got to be the laziest. ❞

❝  Before I went through puberty I had the voice of a little flute. ❞

❝  No one knows what you’re talking about you idiot. ❞

❝  You will treat me with respect! ❞

❝  I am a tiger mom. ❞

❝  First off, no. ❞

❝  Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka Factory. ❞

❝  You’re gonna have to get used to that. ❞

❝  Yeah, you got it, man. ❞

❝  It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA. ❞

❝  Oh, good, it has a mind of its own. ❞

❝  It’s really easy not to go to things. ❞

❝  That you would do anything is totally remarkable. ❞

❝  The less amount of time you live the better. ❞

❝  I was definitely gay when I was a little boy. ❞

❝  I have girlfriend and she’s a female person. ❞

❝  Go, fetch! ❞

❝  Life is a fucking nightmare. ❞

❝  I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and one day I’ll die. ❞

❝  What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? ❞

❝  Let’s go over there and destroy the place. ❞

❝  Fuck da police! ❞

❝  I’ve never climbed a fence that high before. ❞

❝  Did I do that? ❞

❝  Hey, come here. I want to show you something. ❞

❝  Why do you do this? ❞

❝  I’m not gonna kill that guy. ❞

❝  Hey can you help me out? I’m very gay. I’d like a few dollars. ❞

❝  Yeah, that’s the type of lowbrow shit i’m looking for. ❞

❝  It was a lie. To get drugs. ❞

THE COMEBACK KID

❝  I know how big letters should be. ❞

❝  You totally forgot the lesson you just learned. ❞

❝  Do not fuck with me. ❞

❝  Marriage is gonna be very magical. ❞

❝  I bet he did kill his wife. ❞

❝  I never knew relationships were supposed to make you feel better about yourself. ❞

❝  Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die. ❞

❝  Why would you marry a woman if she’s already having sex with you? ❞

❝  If you just bought the cow nobody would say that anymore! ❞

❝  It’s just a little bit wrong, isn’t it? ❞

❝  What a mighty king I will be. ❞

❝  It’s haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash. ❞

❝  You don’t deserve a beach house. ❞

❝  This is an on-fire garbage can. ❞

❝  I don’t care for that shit at all. ❞

❝  You’re never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy. ❞

❝  No one wants to applaud the penis of a thirty-two-year-old weirdo. ❞

❝  You know how I’m filled with rage? ❞

❝  So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under. ❞

❝  This is the best movie idea I’ve ever heard in my life. ❞

❝  Kids have it very good now. ❞

❝  Doesn’t anyone wanna know why his dick was near my biters in the first place? ❞

❝  How did he lose his arm? ❞

❝  That’s exactly what you won’t ask. ❞

❝  You have your law practice, and me, I have all these fucking markers. ❞

❝  I’m just reading this Yellow Pages. ❞

❝  My dad loved us! He just didn’t care about our general happiness or self-esteem. ❞

❝  McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s! ❞

❝  That is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. ❞

❝  How perfect is that? ❞

❝  We’d rather you do it in the house than go somewhere else. ❞

❝  Ah…numbers. The letters of math. ❞

❝  One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! ❞

❝  Don’t you see? I’m a duck now. ❞

❝  If you eat enough ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs. ❞