How to write a villain.

If you stab somebody through the gut as shown in the gif you’ll likely hit an organ, and either way they’ll probably just bleed out pretty quickly wriggling about. If you take a wooden spike with a tip that’s not too thick but not too sharp, oil it up, and insert it up somebody’s ass (or potentially other holes in that area), so that the tip comes out of the mouth without piercing the throat and leaves enough room for them to breathe, you’ll mostly damage the intestine and nothing immediately deadly or bloody. Instead of bleeding to death, they can remain alive on the spike for three days while they die of infections in their intestine.

This is longitudinal impalement, which is what Vlad the Impaler did - the art of him with a bunch of corpses stabbed as shown in the gif is historically inaccurate (probably propaganda), while longitudinal is consistent with accounts from the time and the fact that he was sexually abused and raped as a youth while held captive in the Ottoman Empire (who probably taught him how to do longitudinal). The famous forest of possibly up to 20,000 bodies did include both people alive when they were impaled and dead bodies though, to make a bigger display.

Have a chart I developed for visualizing the disposition of your character! This is partly inspired by a chart I saw of Aristotle’s Golden Mean, which is a system he had for developing good character, but of course, this is more about gauging a character’s traits than bringing them into any kind of balance.

why even stop there lets keep this awful finger train goin

- desert dragons rolling in sand to polish their scales

- dragons cleaning themselves like a cat

- frorest dragons finding a creek to jump into and splash around in

- strong, burly dragons ramming into trees and toppling them over to build a den

- hatchlings wrestling with their siblings, practicing their menacing roar

- dragons befriending smaller animals

- dragons with odd hoards; hoards of sticks and rocks, hoards of animal bones, hoards of old car wheels, hoards of tattered books

- old dragons who live on the beach and collect seashells

- dragons with long necks who eat like giraffes

- dragons digging deep holes in the ground and storing food for a later time

- massive groups of dragons, running together like wolves, helping each other and keeping each other company

- dragons breathing fire onto the floor of their cave to make it hot, and then sleeping on it

- dragons

-dragons are great

The Leatherdos is a hair clip that doubles as a multi-tool that combines 5 different tools in a tiny hair clip: screw-drivers, a wrench, a trolley coin, a ruler, and a cutting edge.

I just whip off the hair clip, grab the cord, and slice through it in one go. Everyone stood there, surprised, and stared at the cord in my hand that I just sawed through with a hair clip. 

@pregnantseinfeld informed me that I was in a Buzzfeed article (with @creamynut and @bootyscientist2) a few months ago and had no idea.

Turns out that Buzzfeed just embeds Tumblr posts.

So if they take a post you’re in and say, embed it from your blog:

You can go back to the post and edit it to whatever you want and it will appear in the article like that. So you can do things like add “pay me royalties” 100 times

and upload 10 pictures of Waluigi in the T Pose