Warm Luke Takes

You are an unreliable narrator because your coping mechanisms for your deep-seated trauma forbid you from acknowledging the reality of the situation. I am an unreliable narrator because I sincerely have no idea what the fuck is going on.

parasocialism is bad Unless its with me. i love you. yes You. Specifically

btw with email u dont have to lick the envelope. i know a lot of people have been doing that and its fine and all but you dont acrtually have to do that with email.

Stop, drop, and roll also works when you are wet. It sort of spreads the water over the floor

When all you have is a handsaw, every problem looks like a beautiful lady in a box. And you have a magician outfit. And people are watching.

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed to touch the hot stove with my bare hands. But now I get to do it whenever I want

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

dude, this is really scary, and liminal as well. It's like the bathrooms

it's disorienting when you beat me with a shovel

@warmluketakes

@bivillaintch I ain’t no wuss

The existence of a safeword also implies the existence of a dangerword that you can use to instantly turn any sexual event into a combat encounter

he has beautiful doe eyes and im like a ford f-150 going 80mph in the middle of the night

I Was So Good And Polite They Are Putting Me In The Touch Tank At Aquarium Tomorrow.

[guy confused about lesbian relationship voice]: okay ... so which one only tells lies?