Nonsense User

Annoying…he sure is annoying. Her eyes narrow a little, and she huffs.

“Who cares what they think? It’s better to feel things in the moment, or feel things at all, instead of having a stick up my ass.”

And so she can be a little reckless when she gets carried away….but still! It’s her emotions.

Feelings. Being able to express emotions with ease. Being able to show that you can get angry. Being able to show that you can express sadness. Being able to show that you can express joy. Things that I was not able to do. Things that I could not do. Things that I, to this day, still cannot do. Not one part of me wanted to express any sort of emotion, and that was fine with me. I was, still, just a half-assed existence floating on this river of nonsense. I wouldn’t say that I’m jealous of those who can express their emotions easily. Simply that.. Only that.. Just that.. “ You know, people who easily express anger are said to be cowardly at heart. “ With no hesitation, he spoke out to the person in front of him. As blunt as he could be; only because he knew that this person could anger with ease. Whether or not she retaliated with words or an attack, he’d simply let it happen. Such was the flow, and he was not capable of changing that flow. “ That’s not to say it is bad to express emotions. It’s only human to express emotion. To show anger when things don’t go their way. That’s why... The boy’s hands join together, leaving themselves in a resting position at the table he was sitting at. For now, just this one moment, and for only one moment. he’ll continue the nonsense.   “ I will ask you a question. Are you someone who gets angry on another person’s behalf? “

I find that walking is nothing more but a pastime to let my mind wander. To let my mind think about unnecessary things, and unnecessary memories. This time, unlike the last time, I thought of a certain Human Failure. My mirror. Someone I never wanted to meet again. For some reason, he had his way of finding me in the most inconveniently convenient times. Inconvenient for me. Convenient for him. Be it under the bride in Kyoto. Be it when I faced those twins. Be it when I was atop that rooftop with an endless Blue. He had, always, usually, mostly, found me at times where I felt like giving up. Giving up. Letting the Story continue without stoppage. Letting things end. Half-assed until I couldn’t half-ass it anymore. That is exactly what I do. That is exactly who I am. Exactly what I’ve always been. This world, this unknown area, this unknown planet with its’ unknown solar system and unknown citizens — I still played no part in it. I still got pulled by another’s waves. I still remained half-assed. I still existed for another’s will. And yet, I still continued to live like nothing. So long as there was peace around me — I could continue to live like nothing. I could continue to exist like nothing. I could continue to do nothing. Whilst doing nothing, I walked. I walked endlessly. I walked without rest to the Clockwork Rafters again. I was going to buy food. At least, for once, for this time, it was not going to be kimchi. The plain looking unreliable narrator reached the food vendors. There was no hotheaded woman around this time. There was no alien to question his food choices around this time. Those simple motions seemed to have pleased Ii, but it would never show on his face. Getting in line of one of the vendors, the boy stood behind what seemed to be.. Another cosplayer? A turtle, this time. Ii has no recollection of ever seeing somebody like this, or a costume to such a detailed degree.. But, even if he had met someone like this before, his memory would fail him per usual. That’s always how it is. “ Hello. “

He spoke up to the turtle waiting ahead of him on the line. He was curious enough to at least ask where the con was, or what exactly was going on to warrant such a costume. “ Are you cosplaying? “

So begins another moment where I ponder life and everything in between. Or so I would say, but I do not believe I am a deep enough person to do such a thing. I’ve been thinking of what I’ve done in this world. Dealing with others, running away from others, I’ve done my fair share, and yet still I stand here. Still I walk. Still I move. Aimless, without direction, without resolve. I’ve yet to understand what exactly this world is, or whether or not I can go back home. Is this world truly interesting to me that I finally want to figure out a planet’s mysteries? No. Not one inch of me, of any ounce, of any sort, wishes to figure out what this world is about, or the Story behind it. Story. Home. Things I’ve questioned before and or have recently begun to question now. Whatever Story there is for this world, I do not wish to partake in it. I do not want to set foot in it. Each time I think of it in that way, the fox-masked man’s words play in my head: Back Nozzle and Jail Alternative. Back Nozzle: The concept that, if something must be done now and you procrastinate it, you will end up having to do it at some point. Jail Alternative: The concept that, if you cannot do it yourself, someone will do it in your stead. Believed to be the system of the world. As though the world has a will of it’s own. “ I've thought about this before.. “ I mumbled to myself. Bringing myself back to my walk, I realized I went too deep into whatever this town like area is. I could swear I saw a sign which had Whisperwood written on it, but I didn’t pay too close attention to it. As such, I surveyed my surrounding area. Buildings, farmland, and vendors. Although not exactly fitting, the words “country bumpkin,” seemed to have a certain novelty to it. I found that I was more near the market than anything else. I must’ve traveled far. Not that I particularly enjoy traveling. I do not like traveling. I end up thinking of unnecessary stuff. I end up indulging in unnecessary memories. Whatever. I’ll assume this place is a cosplayer’s meet. Tomo mentioned something of the sort to me before; an area where people in costume gather to eat food or take photos with one another. They could even sell merch, too. Behind one of the stalls, I found one of said cosplayer(s). Surely she, too, would be in a helpless situation like me. Or, she would have the answers I am looking for. The boy approached the girl’s stall. He had a resolute look to his expression, and determined eyes to tag alongside it! ... Or so he thought, but he, in fact, was just eyeing her merchandise for a little while. Nothing about him was resolute, nor was there any expression depicting determination. He would sometimes pick up certain items and then put them down before, finally, he had decided to ask her a question. “ Hello. What are you selling? “ That wasn’t what I wanted to ask, but after seeing her wares.. I suppose I felt compelled to question her.

She raises a brow at that.

“You’re making yourself sound really edgy. Most people don’t know how they’ll react to a crisis– or maybe you’ve dealt with many. I can’t really speak for that, since I don’t know you.”

God, he’s a pain in the butt.

“But you’re trying really hard to shake me off, huh.”

“ Take it as you will, as I have no qualms about how you think about me; I’m a half-assed existence just living because I can. “ So I say, but even then living is, in and of itself, tedious at most points. I know how I would react during a crisis because this same wonky existence has been through a maelstrom of trouble. Putting that aside, I lost my appetite for the bell peppers I bought. It’s absurd to think that I would lose my appetite, but it’s true. It could happen to just about anybody. I moved the bowl of peppers to the side as we continued to speak. Though seemingly calming down, she still looked as though she was angry at me. Such was a given. Not that I would believe she isn’t angry. Or frustrated. Those are normal human emotions. I understand it well. “ Whether or not I want to shake you off, you seemed to have shaken the general public. “ The boy looked at the vendors around the area. Were they trying to ignore how she reacted prior? How he kept eating this spicy food without a second thought? Were these two, from another world, the true oddities in this specific lunch area? Ii didn’t mind it much if at all. If anything, it was only killing time for him, and that’s what he wants. To kill time. “ Not that it would matter, right? Do you often get angry? I’ve heard hot-heads happen to not think clearly when in the moment. Perhaps that, too, is nonsense. However, I want to ask from the source. “

Deunan is seriously about to explode. You think this is an explosion, her just getting mad and rather red-faced? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

She takes in a seething, hissing breath.

“You’re– you are speaking nonsense, probably to piss me off, but still. A part of you probably really believes that.”

Nonsense to piss her off. Nonsense that equates to nothing. Nonsense spoken just because I can speak it. Words without motive. Words breathed into existence. “ By an existence that doesn’t make sense.. “ I mumbled to myself again. That’s a habit of mine. Her and I would never get along. I tell myself this often because I know it to be true. I’ve dealt with someone like her before. Someone like her who gets mad over the littlest thing; someone like her who becomes angrier the more this lonesome existence speaks. Me, who easily gets carried along by the waves of another. There is no way my words will placate someone, and I do not plan to change that, either. To change who I am for someone else.. That, in itself, is a lonely existence. “ If you believe that only a part of me thinks so, then I cannot stop you. If you wish to believe that I am better than I make myself out to be, then I will have to stop you. “ Not because it’s false information. Not because it’s a misconception. Not because I care about her opinion over me. But because... “ Because I am not a good person. I am not someone who will help another. I am not someone who looks after another. If we were in a dire situation, I would leave you behind with no questions asked, because that is the sort of person I am. “ The boy made no motion. The boy made no waves. The food he has once eaten has since stayed in the bowl, half eaten. Still, his attention is on her. The person who is angry. The person who is listening to his words. Half-lidded eyes still maintained contact with her own, as if giving her his undivided attention, yet all the more as if saying this conversation.. This entire topic.. It was one and the same with countless he has had prior in his own world.

“People usually sue people for defamation of character when it’s dragging their name through the mud, not the other way around, asshole,” Deunan hisses, her face red with mounting anger. She can’t believe she’s fighting with this guy about this! When he’s being a jerk about it.

Trying to give her the run around….

“If you think you’d get any money you’re definitely an idiot.” Really, there was no end to it. The conversation, the nonsense, the anger, the judgement, the care for my food, rather lack thereof. When I take all of her actions into consideration, I realize more and more that I am walking on a tightrope. I suppose that means I was part of the play at the moment. The circus act known as lunchtime shenanigans. If I were a betting man, I would be a millionaire right about now. Curse me for not taking bets about how angry she would get. “ Truly, what misfortune. I never denied being an idiot, but I would prefer if you would not insult me whilst I eat my food. “ Munch. The boy took another bite of the bell peppers he was letting sit as the two spoke. The crunch and bitterness wasn’t showing on his face, but it was definitely prominent. The noise of seeds and pepper was audible still, as his deadpan face still looked her way. “ There’s no need to get angry. I’m only speaking nonsense, after all. “ Nonsense. The user of nonsense. Damaged goods. Titles given to me, and titles I uphold. With or without reason, I speak words only because I can; simply because I am able to. A mountain range of damaged goods flowing with an unknown liquid to the people; nonsense. If I think of myself like that, it becomes apparent... “ Apparent that this will never end.. “

Deunan’s scowl only grows, her cheeks heat, too– this little pipsqueak–

“I wasn’t trying to be nice! I’m not some naive flower! I have an eye for judging people, and while I can tell you’re a real jackass, I highly doubt you’re the worst. You just have bad taste, clearly.”

She slaps a hand on the table before her, huffing. The nerve of this guy!

This sort of response was expected. In fact, if I had decided to place a bet on whether or not this person would’ve tossed the table if I continued to harbor on nonsense, I’m sure I would be a very rich man. Currency here doesn’t matter to me, however. I am also not going to continue my thought process about being a rich man. It would make me rather sad, considering what I am eating at the moment. It would remind me of the island I was once on, where food would be served three times a day by the world’s best chef. Anyway. Before I get sidetracked, I have a scenario I thought about. Let’s assume once, that I could handle this sort of person. The hot-headed kind who react to menial words with violence, or simply anger. Slapping the table or tossing food to the side. Let’s also assume that I could be as hot-headed as her. If we decided to clash right now, the vendor selling these bell peppers would surely garner an audience, and make an immense amount of money. What does this have to do with what’s happening now? Well, nothing. I’m not that sort of person. “ It’s just a revolving door of nonsense. “ I mumbled to myself before I sighed and decided to answer. “ Your judging capabilities seem to be wrong. If you somehow decided to continue believing that misconception of me, I would have to sue you for defamation of character. Not that a lawyer is present at current, but I would acquire a lot of money from it. “

What a bland fellow that is. Different from the other humans he has dealt with so far. Leck is just not sure yet if that’s intriguing on its own or… just plain boring. He’s poking around his padd for a little longer and not gracing the other with anything of a look.

“Eeh. I pass, then. It’s rather boring in my world. Well you know, Ferenginar anyway.” Tip tip tip. There’s a single ‘bleep’ and Leck frowns at the screen. Looks like something doesn’t quite work the way he would like to. He huffs and puts the padd back into his bag.   “Why don’t you just go look for the owner of this stall instead of sitting around here passively like livestock waiting to get fed?”

“ If all I amounted to in this world is livestock, then I will continue to trudge forward as livestock waiting for my food and my inevitable end. “ Blatant and to the point. The brunette hadn’t held any of his words back, nor would he ever for anybody. Looking up to the sky from his seated position, he brushed his hair back with a hand he brought to his head. “ It’s all nonsense, anyway. “ Spoken to himself in a mumble. A sigh escaped the boy as he directed his gaze toward Leck; the victim of his time killing. The one living being who was there at the same time as the brunette during his kimchi endeavor. Would he also tell Leck the truth about the food? No. Not yet, anyway. “ What are you doing here, anyway? “

Deunan looks at him, then frowns.

“Cut your bullshit. Despite liking maybe one of the grossest veggies out there, you have to have some kind of good points. If you don’t stop that kind of talk I’ll stick one of those up your nose.”

Just like that, she returns to her meal, though it’s clear she’s not shutting the conversation down completely. 

“Did you find anything interesting in this deserted island?”

When I decided to think about it, there was something about how she carried herself throughout the conversation that made me realize we wouldn’t see eye-to-eye. People who saw a glass half full instead of a glass half empty. Someone who was an optimist—only seeing the good in people, without knowing them for even an hour. I decided to take another bite of my pepper before speaking again. The bitter release of spice made it so that I wouldn’t say something stupid when speaking to her. ‘go ahead, i would like to see you try and do it.‘ Those were the words I was going to say, but I’ll let the spice stop me just this once, and come up with a better response to her. “ It’s all nonsense, anyway. Looking for good points in me is like finding value in a snail. I’d be happy if you decided to tell me that you would only look for my bad traits, and actively pointed them out whilst I ate. “

What’s less interesting than a stomach ache? Deunan truly, truly can’t picture that. She maintains eye contact like its some sort of cruel torture….like being unable to look away from a trainwreck. 

“You’re a trainwreck,” She provides, finally. “But since I’m here anyway, you might as well spill.”

“ No, I’m the world’s biggest loser. “ That didn’t quite sit right with him. He’ll keep going at it though. “ I’m damaged goods. Something undeserving of an ounce of respect. “ That was better. A better response to her prior name calling. Regardless, his nonsense continues. Another bite of his bell pepper means more crunching and chewing ensues. He, of course, is keeping eye contact. “ The reason is rather simple. I was out on a deserted island in the Sea of Japan, kind of by accident. The food stall that has kimchi was closed, therefore I went for the next best thing. “

Leck peers at the brunette from atop the stall like a gargoyle of sorts.   “That’s too bad for you, then” he sneers, if anything amused by that ridiculous dilemma of this human. He’s like a Ferengi leaving their homeplanet for the first time and coming face to face with food that’s NOT from Ferenginar. But I don’t eat anything that’s not from Ferenginar, wah wah. Leck shifts a little, but only to change position, and pulls out his padd. Not to help the human in any way, mind him, but to browse some apps. That human, though…

“You ARE aware it won’t just magically pop up open just for you if you jst stay there all day, right?” A short pause. “What’s a kimchi, anyway?”

What an expected answer. Something so blatantly apparent it made the boy sigh loudly. Almost as though he knew the sort of response he’d get, he answered just as quick as he got it. “ That doesn’t matter. I can wait. “ He sat down in front of the stall now, not caring for the amount of judgment he got from Leck. Instead, the brunette decided to give him a sufficient answer. One that would be unexpected. Or so he thought. He already got bored of the topic and decided to answer it straight forward. “ It’s a type of food that could make people return to their world for a moment. You should try it. “

“I need to know what the hell’s wrong with you, and if I need to take you to a hospital,” Deunan answers without missing a beat.

Her own meal consists of more than just green peppers, topped with steak and colorful veggies and of course there’s rice under there. Nice and fluffy and delicious. 

The peppers. Her nose wrinkles. Then she pauses,

“Oh wait, maybe you have something wrong with your stomach….” Deunan winces. “My bad, if that’s rude!” She doesn’t sound too sorry???

“ Well, I have my reasons. “ The boy picked up one of the peppers and bit into it, seeds and all. The chew and crunch are audible enough to hear from their distance. During all of this, he maintains eye contact, not breaking away even once. To him, this was a cruel fate. Divine retribution in the form of torturing the tongue for acquiring a taste not by it’s own volition.  I guess they also say reap what you sow. “ Not very interesting ones, but still. “