I Can't Believe I'm Not Merfolk

so I met a clown girl the other day, and told her it was nice to meet her. verbally speaking, she didn't say anything, but she smiled and offered me a handshake, as if to say "the pleasure is mime"

Why do we always focus on the evil wizards that want to cause you pain? It's always "I cast Testicular Torsion" or "I cast Mend Buttcrack". Can't we cast Restore Vibes? Can I do that?

my dad could beat your dad. my dad could bruise your dad's lip. my dad could realize holy shit, he's kinda into that. so could your dad. my dad could kiss your dad. my dad could take your dad out to dinner. my dad could make sweet, passionate love to your dad. my dad could propose to your dad. we could be step siblings if you keep this up and frankly i don't think you want that.

Why did Taylor Swift fail her English Class? Cause you were Romeo, she was a Scarlet Letter...

my inner theatre nerd doesn't like it when "actor au" doesn't mean all my favorite characters are putting on a play or a movie and have to deal with all the bullshit actors have during shit like tech rehearsals. give me blorbos doing shakespeare cowards

if i can ever afford it i'm getting the baten kaitos collection remaster asap because i'm remembering how much i liked that game as a teenager

Death Note? Nah. I want a Debt Note. Whoever's name is written in this book owes me $10.

Bowling for Soup tribute band called Juggling for Salad

pronouns! get your pronouns here!!