༺🤍༻

I was never cuddled, held, tickled.. kissed. Never once.

I so badly want to connect with other people but I can’t, my trauma refuses to let people close to me I am so terrified of those around me, so unable to trust and let other people in. Last three years have been so incredibly hard on me, I stuck it out and I did the best I could. I just don’t know.

I guess this is the end of my try hard era, I am going to be in my hermit phase and I’m not going to try anymore I’m going to just exist in my room and at work and have nothing in-between. I’m tired of feeling scared and feeling like I need to work against myself to have people interested in me because I know that isn’t ever going to stick. People only wanted me because I could be potentially used and discarded again and again.