Locked And Barred, But A Door Nonetheless.

Hung Ping

That anger sat over her for most of the night, pettiness sunken into the crevices of every inch of her being. To be reduced to a bed companion for nightmare comforting was so fucking embarrassing. Uncomfortable, awkward, writhing in her skin at the indignity of it all. She was a Goddess who slaughtered thousands– not a snuggle buddy.

  It was all she could do when he still couldn’t manage to settle, and thus kept her blaringly awake. God damn it fucking hell– this was the first and last time she stayed overnight with him. The only thoughts to brew around her head in her miserable state while he fidgeted around in his spot. None of her concern…

  …She fucking wished. Rover had made it her immediate concern when he began inching towards her. By the time she’d caught on, it was already too late. He’d snared her within a blink of her lone eye, a rabbit trap of two arms pulling her frigid corpse of a body tight to his– all burning, all rigid. She’s as tense as a loaded spring, not enough time to grab her sword…he skates so precisely under her neck and it’s almost more than she can handle right there not to snap. The overwhelming sensation has her breathing roughly through her teeth, hands shaking, and as she’s pulled skin to skin, a rush of goosebumps bloom with a shiver.

  She lets out a quick breath. As soon as he himself settles down once again, she finds she’s able to quell the panic that had rattled her. His raw voice mumbles near her ear, freezing her in her spot. He was finally, finally resting. But how could she relax now?…Could she relax? Could she allow herself that? Well, not truly. Not in such a close situation, as nice as it felt…her head tucked onto his shoulder, the warmth seeping into her tired, cold bones. Why did he have to do this?…

 Zero curls just gently, at least letting her arms relax. She’d stay here for the night if he’d wanted, but scant sleep would be had on her part. Too busy keeping vigilant on the situation, a sick obsessive brain that could never drop old habits formed from days she still lived. Studying and observing her companion, simply resting her eye for moments here and there. Funny how the anger disappeared entirely like this, out of his view. No need for pretense or the guise of someone untouchably cold and vicious, she could do as she pleased. The scars were bared, his face in full view…and her finger raises to fleetingly brush with skittish strokes against his skin. Testing the waters. The bridge of his nose, the cut of his jaw, over the implant in his throat, all scrutinized under the carefully featherlight touch of her finger.

  A fleeting moment of that, and it was gone. She’d find herself staying there until sometime after dawn, hours of silently watching, listening to his heartbeat and steady breathing, chest rising and falling. Alive. It’s this that pricks her nerves, something squirming in her chest at the thought. It was best not to dwell there. So gingerly does she remove herself from his arms, a slow process in order not to wake him in his deepened slumber. It should be fine now, shouldn’t it? Or– whatever. It wasn’t her problem…

  She pads back out to the couch, returning to her original spot, back to her position of curling up with her sword. Just as if the night hadn’t happened at all. And unfortunately, her sleep stays in the realm of half-consciousness, stirred at the drop of a pin, but more when Rover begins to stir again. As he does, she keeps to her show of feigning sleep, just for peace’s sake.

Huh. It was late morning. Late morning. Rover sat up confused in his bed, gazing out of his window at the light filtering into his room. What the f-- He looked around for something, anything to give him an inclination of how the fuck he slept so well last night. His watch had a notification; Looper, asking if he was coming into work today. Rover let it sit for a while, before replying with a simple “No.”

Looper could handle running the business for today. He was going to relish this good night’s rest.

Then he remembered. Zero was in his apartment. She must have gone back to her room last night after forcing him back to bed. It would be better for him to be quiet this morning, she must have been more exhausted than he was.

“Vis,” he whispered, “start the coffee and the fireplace, please.” He excused himself from bed and put on a loose flannel shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Maybe I should get a cat. The scent of coffee began to filter through the apartment as he brushed his teeth. His morning routine felt a little more... calming. He’d done so much of this before first light, the bright neon and LED lights from Leviathan was what he saw when he did this. He performed some light maintenance on his facial hair and washed his face, preparing himself to deal with Zero.

Rover stepped out into the living room, looking at Zero attempting to seem like she’s sleeping. He’d let her try and deceive him a little longer, maybe get some vestige of rest. He entered the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee as quietly as possible, turning on the hard-light screen in the island and taking a look at local news. Nothing’s ever interesting around here. I’d trade my job to never have to hear about who married who ever again.

  “ Shut up. “ She rubs at her face irritably, snapping at his all-too-chipper ‘I told you so’. He was in too good a mood, a wild contrast compared to hers, which was only dipping lower as time stretched on. Silence returned to her part, focusing on scents and sounds wafting through the kitchen, trying to make a plan for whatever was supposed to happen on this day. She’s coming up blank. All she could hope to do was leave, and cross her fingers that she’d find somewhere closed off enough in this fucked up land to let herself rest and heal fully, without interruption.

  But, it really did smell good in here…and whatever thing he’d set in front of her that was suitable for nobility also looked…good. Hmm. There really wasn’t much better than bread and cheese in any form, but it was always the rich that knew how to make something more elevated. And afford meat. Fucking rich nobles.

 Scrutinizing this meal would have to be cut short, along with scrutinizing her happy-go-lucky host and his eating habits, as he leaves to putter around doing god knows what again. Something in her chest churns weirdly as a comparison flits briefly across her mind, and finally she gets to slowly picking away at this…whatever he called it. Right on cue does he seem to come back and call for her.

 The look she gave must have been a sight– unfiltered disdain, confusion, and mistrust all blended beautifully together in a scrunched-up face with a single squinted eye. Just who the fuck did he think he was, ordering her around?! The Intoner is so outraged she trudges herself over in hopes to yell at him, but her attempts are cut short with another command, and she finds herself snapping her mouth shut and simply sitting down with her arms crossed over her chest. It doesn’t stop her from giving him a huffy little growl, though. Just in case he forgot she was always grumpy.

 She’s manoeuvred around by warm hands, a surprise in it’s own, but the true shock that brings forth a gasp from her throat and a shiver down her spine is the softness of his fingers running through her dishevelled hair. Oh no. Her eye flutters, and something dead and half-rotted flutters around her ribs as well, shoulders sinking and limbs slowly growing lax as he works through each section. Oh, no, no, no.

  He’d done it once before, just barely a flashing moment in time of such an act, had he even remembered? What was this-?…As the seconds stretched on, her eye shut closed, and her body became dependent on his constant hold against her head to keep herself upright. Exhaustion was finally overwhelming her completely, breathing slowed and even, consciousness leaving her…

  So when he’s finally finished, the last support she has is released, and she falls backwards into his chest. Asleep. If only for a moment, as the motion jostles her just enough to bring back the fuzziest cognition of happenings. She moans tiredly, and tries feebly to push herself back up, rubbing at her eye.

  “ Why’d y’stop?… “ Slurring her words, she sounds quite unlike herself. With the lack of biting anger present, she sounded almost gentle.

Well this was certainly something he wasn’t expecting. He hadn’t remembered the fleeting moment that Zero had began to sink into his hold when he’d done this last. It was merely an attempt at a kind gesture, she was clearly too tired to do it herself, and he’d had some experience taking care of his own curls, so the conclusion came naturally to him.

He began to panic, but quickly steeled his nerves so as to not wake her, until she woke. It was an interesting sight, Zero, the Murder Queen herself, melted into and pulled flush into his body. Now why did this feel familiar? He hadn’t the time to process that thought, quickly Zero’s body shifted as she tries to sit back up. She speaks, and he smiles slightly, but unsure of how to progress. How awake is she? If she was going to get any sleep, she’d have to go back down soon.

Well, only one shot for this. Rover gently maneuvered her back to being in front of him and started brushing her hair once more. If it worked before...? Rover pulled her back into him, just enough that the potential movement of her falling back into him wouldn’t rouse her again. “Go ahead and rest now, Zed.”

He wasn’t certain what he’d do once she was asleep, but he’d cross that bridge when he got to it. First priority was making sure she even could sleep.

But, wait, what the fuck was he doing?! What was this sappy romance shit that was taking up his morning? He finally had a good night’s rest and he has to spend the first hours... cuddling fucking Zero?!

That anger sat over her for most of the night, pettiness sunken into the crevices of every inch of her being. To be reduced to a bed companion for nightmare comforting was so fucking embarrassing. Uncomfortable, awkward, writhing in her skin at the indignity of it all. She was a Goddess who slaughtered thousands– not a snuggle buddy.

  It was all she could do when he still couldn’t manage to settle, and thus kept her blaringly awake. God damn it fucking hell– this was the first and last time she stayed overnight with him. The only thoughts to brew around her head in her miserable state while he fidgeted around in his spot. None of her concern…

  …She fucking wished. Rover had made it her immediate concern when he began inching towards her. By the time she’d caught on, it was already too late. He’d snared her within a blink of her lone eye, a rabbit trap of two arms pulling her frigid corpse of a body tight to his– all burning, all rigid. She’s as tense as a loaded spring, not enough time to grab her sword…he skates so precisely under her neck and it’s almost more than she can handle right there not to snap. The overwhelming sensation has her breathing roughly through her teeth, hands shaking, and as she’s pulled skin to skin, a rush of goosebumps bloom with a shiver.

  She lets out a quick breath. As soon as he himself settles down once again, she finds she’s able to quell the panic that had rattled her. His raw voice mumbles near her ear, freezing her in her spot. He was finally, finally resting. But how could she relax now?…Could she relax? Could she allow herself that? Well, not truly. Not in such a close situation, as nice as it felt…her head tucked onto his shoulder, the warmth seeping into her tired, cold bones. Why did he have to do this?…

 Zero curls just gently, at least letting her arms relax. She’d stay here for the night if he’d wanted, but scant sleep would be had on her part. Too busy keeping vigilant on the situation, a sick obsessive brain that could never drop old habits formed from days she still lived. Studying and observing her companion, simply resting her eye for moments here and there. Funny how the anger disappeared entirely like this, out of his view. No need for pretense or the guise of someone untouchably cold and vicious, she could do as she pleased. The scars were bared, his face in full view…and her finger raises to fleetingly brush with skittish strokes against his skin. Testing the waters. The bridge of his nose, the cut of his jaw, over the implant in his throat, all scrutinized under the carefully featherlight touch of her finger.

  A fleeting moment of that, and it was gone. She’d find herself staying there until sometime after dawn, hours of silently watching, listening to his heartbeat and steady breathing, chest rising and falling. Alive. It’s this that pricks her nerves, something squirming in her chest at the thought. It was best not to dwell there. So gingerly does she remove herself from his arms, a slow process in order not to wake him in his deepened slumber. It should be fine now, shouldn’t it? Or– whatever. It wasn’t her problem…

  She pads back out to the couch, returning to her original spot, back to her position of curling up with her sword. Just as if the night hadn’t happened at all. And unfortunately, her sleep stays in the realm of half-consciousness, stirred at the drop of a pin, but more when Rover begins to stir again. As he does, she keeps to her show of feigning sleep, just for peace’s sake.

Huh. It was late morning. Late morning. Rover sat up confused in his bed, gazing out of his window at the light filtering into his room. What the f-- He looked around for something, anything to give him an inclination of how the fuck he slept so well last night. His watch had a notification; Looper, asking if he was coming into work today. Rover let it sit for a while, before replying with a simple “No.”

Looper could handle running the business for today. He was going to relish this good night’s rest.

Then he remembered. Zero was in his apartment. She must have gone back to her room last night after forcing him back to bed. It would be better for him to be quiet this morning, she must have been more exhausted than he was.

“Vis,” he whispered, “start the coffee and the fireplace, please.” He excused himself from bed and put on a loose flannel shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Maybe I should get a cat. The scent of coffee began to filter through the apartment as he brushed his teeth. His morning routine felt a little more... calming. He’d done so much of this before first light, the bright neon and LED lights from Leviathan was what he saw when he did this. He performed some light maintenance on his facial hair and washed his face, preparing himself to deal with Zero.

Rover stepped out into the living room, looking at Zero attempting to seem like she’s sleeping. He’d let her try and deceive him a little longer, maybe get some vestige of rest. He entered the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee as quietly as possible, turning on the hard-light screen in the island and taking a look at local news. Nothing’s ever interesting around here. I’d trade my job to never have to hear about who married who ever again.

There was no way she was going to attempt pouring something at the moment– was he insane? It would be no good to try, considering her pitiable attempts at just holding the mug. So, untampered would this warm drink have to be. He didn’t even care to mention what it was; she never considered to ask, either. Oh, well. Surely it couldn’t be that bad? The smell was…a little unbearable, actually. And for it to be pitch black…surely this couldn’t be good. Hm. He poured it, so it was no good to waste it, she knew better than that.

 Assistance from her other hand finally scooped it into a proper hold, as Rover set about looking at whatever the hell he liked to preoccupy himself with. That he also apparently hated, if his mumbling gave anything away. Down the hatch, she supposed. One good swig and she swears she almost starts retching on the spot. Face twisted in disgust, she can’t help but set the mug back down just to cough through her pain. It was so bitter– -

  “ Eugh! What the fuck kind of tea is this?! “ The shock has been more than enough to shake her out of the previous tired fog she’d been in, now perhaps even more miserable than before. Life loved to be a real bitch at the very worst of times. And just to rub it in was Rover, looking fresh as a daisy, puttering around the kitchen with such zest, it was all sickening.

  “ Whatever you’re making, it better taste better than whatever that garbage was. “ Her nose is still all scrunched up, running her hand over the bags under her eye, her response seems a little lacklustre in it’s venomosity. A long night had turned into a long day, and she plops her elbow on the counter, cheek in her hand, blearily watching her companion scuttle around enthusiastically. All she could do was wait, at this point. At least she didn’t have to do anything else for now, she hoped. Like fend off an inquiring Rover…

“It’s not tea, it’s coffee. I told you that you could make it sweet with the cream and sugar, but you neglected to listen~” He began the process of preparing the sandwiches for consumption. About fifteen minutes passed as various scents began to fill the apartment, the ham cooking, toasted Pain de Mie, all the works getting prepped for consumption.

Twenty agonizing minutes later, and two sandwiches were plated up and ready to go. “Careful, it’s still hot.” He set a plate down in front of her and began to dig in to his own sandwich. This is fucking delicious-- He’d done it again, another fantastic breakfast under his belt! It’s insane what a good night’s sleep will do to you.

He had the sandwich devoured in mere minutes, the melted gruyere crispy on the top slice of perfectly toasted bread , a perfect bechamel sauce accompanying the layers of melted cheese, warm, juicy ham for the protein; he wasn’t sure if he’d ever made a better sandwich. “That was a phenomenal recipe. I’m gonna be eating that shit for weeks. So much to experiment with... maybe a fried egg on top. I can hear my left ventricle slamming shut as I speak. Sounds delightful.”

He excused himself, allowing Zero to either consume the sandwich or throw it away while he wasn’t looking, to the bathroom. He puttered around for a moment, cleaning up from his morning shave and digging around his little organizational baskets. He retrieved a brush, going over a couple knots he’d found in his own hair before returning to the kitchen with it in his back pocket.

“Alright, come here.” He gestured to the living room with his head, going to the couch without allowing her to see the brush hidden in his back pocket. “Please, take a seat.” He extended a hand to gesture to the seat next to him, removing the brush from his pocket, and preparing to go to work. As she sat in front of him, he gently turned her to face away from him, and began the process of managing her curls and knots.

That anger sat over her for most of the night, pettiness sunken into the crevices of every inch of her being. To be reduced to a bed companion for nightmare comforting was so fucking embarrassing. Uncomfortable, awkward, writhing in her skin at the indignity of it all. She was a Goddess who slaughtered thousands– not a snuggle buddy.

  It was all she could do when he still couldn’t manage to settle, and thus kept her blaringly awake. God damn it fucking hell– this was the first and last time she stayed overnight with him. The only thoughts to brew around her head in her miserable state while he fidgeted around in his spot. None of her concern…

  …She fucking wished. Rover had made it her immediate concern when he began inching towards her. By the time she’d caught on, it was already too late. He’d snared her within a blink of her lone eye, a rabbit trap of two arms pulling her frigid corpse of a body tight to his– all burning, all rigid. She’s as tense as a loaded spring, not enough time to grab her sword…he skates so precisely under her neck and it’s almost more than she can handle right there not to snap. The overwhelming sensation has her breathing roughly through her teeth, hands shaking, and as she’s pulled skin to skin, a rush of goosebumps bloom with a shiver.

  She lets out a quick breath. As soon as he himself settles down once again, she finds she’s able to quell the panic that had rattled her. His raw voice mumbles near her ear, freezing her in her spot. He was finally, finally resting. But how could she relax now?…Could she relax? Could she allow herself that? Well, not truly. Not in such a close situation, as nice as it felt…her head tucked onto his shoulder, the warmth seeping into her tired, cold bones. Why did he have to do this?…

 Zero curls just gently, at least letting her arms relax. She’d stay here for the night if he’d wanted, but scant sleep would be had on her part. Too busy keeping vigilant on the situation, a sick obsessive brain that could never drop old habits formed from days she still lived. Studying and observing her companion, simply resting her eye for moments here and there. Funny how the anger disappeared entirely like this, out of his view. No need for pretense or the guise of someone untouchably cold and vicious, she could do as she pleased. The scars were bared, his face in full view…and her finger raises to fleetingly brush with skittish strokes against his skin. Testing the waters. The bridge of his nose, the cut of his jaw, over the implant in his throat, all scrutinized under the carefully featherlight touch of her finger.

  A fleeting moment of that, and it was gone. She’d find herself staying there until sometime after dawn, hours of silently watching, listening to his heartbeat and steady breathing, chest rising and falling. Alive. It’s this that pricks her nerves, something squirming in her chest at the thought. It was best not to dwell there. So gingerly does she remove herself from his arms, a slow process in order not to wake him in his deepened slumber. It should be fine now, shouldn’t it? Or– whatever. It wasn’t her problem…

  She pads back out to the couch, returning to her original spot, back to her position of curling up with her sword. Just as if the night hadn’t happened at all. And unfortunately, her sleep stays in the realm of half-consciousness, stirred at the drop of a pin, but more when Rover begins to stir again. As he does, she keeps to her show of feigning sleep, just for peace’s sake.

Huh. It was late morning. Late morning. Rover sat up confused in his bed, gazing out of his window at the light filtering into his room. What the f-- He looked around for something, anything to give him an inclination of how the fuck he slept so well last night. His watch had a notification; Looper, asking if he was coming into work today. Rover let it sit for a while, before replying with a simple “No.”

Looper could handle running the business for today. He was going to relish this good night’s rest.

Then he remembered. Zero was in his apartment. She must have gone back to her room last night after forcing him back to bed. It would be better for him to be quiet this morning, she must have been more exhausted than he was.

“Vis,” he whispered, “start the coffee and the fireplace, please.” He excused himself from bed and put on a loose flannel shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Maybe I should get a cat. The scent of coffee began to filter through the apartment as he brushed his teeth. His morning routine felt a little more... calming. He’d done so much of this before first light, the bright neon and LED lights from Leviathan was what he saw when he did this. He performed some light maintenance on his facial hair and washed his face, preparing himself to deal with Zero.

Rover stepped out into the living room, looking at Zero attempting to seem like she’s sleeping. He’d let her try and deceive him a little longer, maybe get some vestige of rest. He entered the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee as quietly as possible, turning on the hard-light screen in the island and taking a look at local news. Nothing’s ever interesting around here. I’d trade my job to never have to hear about who married who ever again.

She could have just slept, was her echoing thoughts. A snowball of unfortunate events and terrible decisions lead her to this outcome, of course. Of course it was her fault. He’d slept just fine, but she hadn’t been able to get even a wink, as much as she tried to pretend. He was at least letting her have this one after all the grief he’d put her through during the night…bitter thoughts filled her mind. Lucky fuckin’ bastard being one of them.

  It wasn’t until she felt a prickling gaze on her that she flicked her eye open, staring directly at Rover, who seems to be the culprit. Caught red-handed. That rose eye squints, brows furrowing tiredly. The bag under her eye is visible from miles away, exhaustion painting over the curious glare she tries to give him.

  “ Stop fucking staring, it’s weird. “ She grumbles out with a hoarse, sleep-cracking voice. A hand drags down her face, releasing a slow sigh. “ How the hell is someone supposed to sleep when you’re creeping around all the time? Ugh. “ So, she’s still a little bitter.

 Up from the curled up position she gets, miserably stretching heavy limbs and cracking stiff joints. She ruffles her hand through her hair, messing it up spectacularly, a good bit of it flipped into her face and tangled from the night. She can’t find much will to care, just giving a shake to get enough of it out of her eye. “ Seriously…you aren’t as quiet as you think you are. “ Trudging over to Rover’s side, she attempts a few times to grab at the mug of coffee…to hysterically no avail. Her eye squinting, she can’t seem to focus enough as usual with her lack of depth perception, continuously only managing to bump her fingers right on the edge of the handle and pushing it farther and farther away from her until she gives up entirely with an irritated growl. As if she wasn’t grumpy enough.

Disheveled is a good look on her, he thought, watching her stumble towards him on exhausted legs. He’d get her a brush later when she wasn’t as grumpy as she was right now. “So you’d like some then?” He shifted the cup over to her hand, allowing her to find purchase on its handle before setting out some sugar and liquid creamer. “If you like it sweet, use these. Make sure you stir it in after.” He returned to his hardlight screen to peruse the news for a second. “Fucking hell. Tired of hearing about marriages,” he mumbled to himself.

His watch vibrated slightly, Looper responding to Rover’s earlier message. ‘On it. You good?’ He stole a glance at Zero fighting with her mug as he considered the question. ‘Yeah. Just managed some good sleep.’ Looper would know what that meant to him, not like he’d question Rover’s choice or anything, but it was courteous in his opinion to give a reason for his absence.

“Care for some breakfast?” Rover began to look through the recipes on his screen, trying to come to a decision. Asking for Zero’s opinion wouldn’t result in much considering she’d recommend grey soup and stale bread. Mmm... Croque Monsieur... The choice has been made, and he set about gathering ingredients.

He’d been coming back to his apartment more and more recently, allowing himself some rest after long weeks of constant work. Conversations with his Crew, his mentors, and even Zero gave him the push to rest, even when it wasn’t easy. Looper was getting more comfortable running the place, and Rover was more comfortable allowing him to without breathing down his neck. It was nice, he couldn’t deny it. Most of the time he was home he was making music or cooking, and it was because of this that he had fresh Pain de Mie bread for the sandwiches. He set out some ingredients for his beschamel, leaving his gruyere in the fridge until he was ready for it.

1. “Yeah, yeah. You’re cute. Just stop smiling at me like that.” 

2. “I love you, but please stop whatever it is that you’re doing.” 

3. “You’re so annoying. Oh my God– I love you so much.” 

4. “STOP BEING SO CUTE, IT’S NOT FAIR!”

5. “Listen, I enjoy this hug and all, but can you stop?”

6. “Give me a minute, I’m going to tickle the shit out of you.” 

7. “Hey, stop looking at me like that– I don’t like how cute you look.” 

8. “Please, stop smiling at me like that. I’m not sure what will happen if you keep doing that.” 

9. “I don’t like people, but you’re an exception.” 

10. “You’re the only one who gets to call me that, you know.” 

11. “I crave your affection, but I crave your silence even more– shut up.” 

12. “Is this your way of subtly hinting that you want to hold my hand because it’s quite cute, but I’m not in the mood to hold your hand.” 

13. “You’re talking too much, just shut up and hold me.” 

14. “Ew. Get away from me. No– not you. You stay.”