Stay safe buddies!!!💕🍡

In all seriousness though, I have worked for the past 5 years to get a teaching license only for it to be revoked due to transphobic legislation. The American south has never been a place that welcomed people like me, but this year it’s passed a breaking point. I’ve lost so much of my healthcare and my ability to further my career. I’m too visibly trans to continue living here safely. So, once my lease is up in May, I’m starting to look elsewhere.

(Wanda is very much just a mother in this one. I might expand on this in a different, more overtly romantic way, but this is kinda just a self-indulgent shit post about how I’m sad and I want my mama)

Wanda knocked lightly on the your bedroom door, cracking it open slightly to check on you after getting no response. She found you where you’d been for the majority of week, curled up in a ball on the bed, shrouded in blankets. She sighed. “Little bird, I can feel you disappearing on me.” She took a step into the bedroom, sitting down on the bed and gliding her hand over the lump in the blanket. “Any chance I can convince you to move this party to the couch? I won’t bug you, I just… I wanna keep an eye on you.”

You sighed and popped your head out of the blankets. “I’m fine,” you reassured her. It couldn’t have been a more obvious lie. “I just need some time. Alone.”

Wanda pursed her lips, chewing on the inside of her cheek. You had be alone for days now. You’d hardly left your room at all. And, as badly as she wanted to respect your wishes, she couldn’t watch you do this to yourself.

“Honey,” she started calmly, “I think it’s time you got out of bed for a little bit. Come on. I’ll make some pastina and we can watch YouTube on the couch.”

You furrowed your brow in frustration. “Wanda, I’m not a child,” you bit. “I’m telling you, I’m fine. Just leave me be. Please.”

She winced. You almost never called her by her name. “Okay,” she conceded reluctantly. “I’ll leave you be. But you have to eat something. I’ll make you whatever you’d like, but you need solid food.”

“Can’t I just have a nutrition shake?” You asked. Eating sounded like hell on Earth to you at the moment. There was nothing in the world she could give you that you would want to put in your body.

She took a look at the small trash can in your room. It was overflowing with Ensure bottles. At least you were eating something, but it was clearly the only thing you had in days.

“Not this time. One solid meal. It doesn’t even have to be a full meal. Just something.”

You groaned, throwing the blanket back over your head. “I’m not hungry.”

Wanda didn’t respond, just sighed and walked out of the room. She realized quickly she wasn’t going to get anywhere with you like this and her presence was just agitating you further.

She came back five minutes later with a large Tupperware container and a mason jar full of apple juice. “Bon appetite,” she said dryly.

The container was full of a variety of food, something from every food group. There was some turkey, two slices of cheese, a couple of crackers, and some baby carrots. You guessed the juice was cover some sort of fruit category.

“Eat. Please,” she said, her voice laced with a bit of desperation and frustration. “Otherwise I’m coming back in here, and you won’t be able to get rid of me.”

You sneered. “I hate you.”

“I’d hate everyone too, if I hadn’t eaten in two days. I won’t take it personally.” She closed the door behind herself, leaving you alone in your room.

————————

After about half an hour, your guilt had finally gotten the better of you. Wanda was just trying to take care of you after all. It wasn’t fair for you to treat her so cruelly.

You found her on the couch watching some true crime show. She didn’t seem to notice you’d come in, forcing you to shuffle your way over to her with your tail between your legs. You laid down on the couch, resting your head in her lap.

“I’m sorry I said I hated you,” you apologized shamefully. “I don’t actually. I was just…”

“I know,” she said with a sad attempt at a smile. She ran her hands through your hair, trying to soothe and reassure you.

“I shouldn’t have been so mean. You were trying to help. It wasn’t fair,” you continued.

“It wasn’t,” she admitted. “But I also understand that your brain is a pretty scary place to be right now, isn’t it?” She rubbed her thumb over your forehead as if she could somehow soothe the pain from the outside.

You nodded and curled further into her lap. She heard you start to sniffle. It was a long while before you could bring yourself to speak. “It hurts so much, mama.”

“I know it does, angel,” she whispered. “I know it does. But you don’t have to bear it alone anymore. I’m here. For the best and the worst of you.”

“I was better. I was getting better,” you cried quietly.

“And you’ll get better again. Just like last time and the time before that.”

You shook your head. “I don’t want to. I can’t do it again, mama.”

(Wanda is very much just a mother in this one. I might expand on this in a different, more overtly romantic way, but this is kinda just a self-indulgent shit post about how I’m sad and I want my mama)

Wanda knocked lightly on the your bedroom door, cracking it open slightly to check on you after getting no response. She found you where you’d been for the majority of week, curled up in a ball on the bed, shrouded in blankets. She sighed. “Little bird, I can feel you disappearing on me.” She took a step into the bedroom, sitting down on the bed and gliding her hand over the lump in the blanket. “Any chance I can convince you to move this party to the couch? I won’t bug you, I just… I wanna keep an eye on you.”

You sighed and popped your head out of the blankets. “I’m fine,” you reassured her. It couldn’t have been a more obvious lie. “I just need some time. Alone.”

Wanda pursed her lips, chewing on the inside of her cheek. You had be alone for days now. You’d hardly left your room at all. And, as badly as she wanted to respect your wishes, she couldn’t watch you do this to yourself.

“Honey,” she started calmly, “I think it’s time you got out of bed for a little bit. Come on. I’ll make some pastina and we can watch YouTube on the couch.”

You furrowed your brow in frustration. “Wanda, I’m not a child,” you bit. “I’m telling you, I’m fine. Just leave me be. Please.”

She winced. You almost never called her by her name. “Okay,” she conceded reluctantly. “I’ll leave you be. But you have to eat something. I’ll make you whatever you’d like, but you need solid food.”

“Can’t I just have a nutrition shake?” You asked. Eating sounded like hell on Earth to you at the moment. There was nothing in the world she could give you that you would want to put in your body.

She took a look at the small trash can in your room. It was overflowing with Ensure bottles. At least you were eating something, but it was clearly the only thing you had in days.

“Not this time. One solid meal. It doesn’t even have to be a full meal. Just something.”

You groaned, throwing the blanket back over your head. “I’m not hungry.”

Wanda didn’t respond, just sighed and walked out of the room. She realized quickly she wasn’t going to get anywhere with you like this and her presence was just agitating you further.

She came back five minutes later with a large Tupperware container and a mason jar full of apple juice. “Bon appetite,” she said dryly.

The container was full of a variety of food, something from every food group. There was some turkey, two slices of cheese, a couple of crackers, and some baby carrots. You guessed the juice was cover some sort of fruit category.

“Eat. Please,” she said, her voice laced with a bit of desperation and frustration. “Otherwise I’m coming back in here, and you won’t be able to get rid of me.”

You sneered. “I hate you.”

“I’d hate everyone too, if I hadn’t eaten in two days. I won’t take it personally.” She closed the door behind herself, leaving you alone in your room.

————————

After about half an hour, your guilt had finally gotten the better of you. Wanda was just trying to take care of you after all. It wasn’t fair for you to treat her so cruelly.

You found her on the couch watching some true crime show. She didn’t seem to notice you’d come in, forcing you to shuffle your way over to her with your tail between your legs. You laid down on the couch, resting your head in her lap.

“I’m sorry I said I hated you,” you apologized shamefully. “I don’t actually. I was just…”

“I know,” she said with a sad attempt at a smile. She ran her hands through your hair, trying to soothe and reassure you.

“I shouldn’t have been so mean. You were trying to help. It wasn’t fair,” you continued.

“It wasn’t,” she admitted. “But I also understand that your brain is a pretty scary place to be right now, isn’t it?” She rubbed her thumb over your forehead as if she could somehow soothe the pain from the outside.

You nodded and curled further into her lap. She heard you start to sniffle. It was a long while before you could bring yourself to speak. “It hurts so much, mama.”

“I know it does, angel,” she whispered. “I know it does. But you don’t have to bear it alone anymore. I’m here. For the best and the worst of you.”

“I was better. I was getting better,” you cried quietly.

“And you’ll get better again. Just like last time and the time before that.”

You shook your head. “I don’t want to. I can’t do it again, mama.”