This page is aimed towards an 18+ audience. There is a lot of fluff, a lot of angst and of course smut. Please read any warnings at the start of each of the fics.
I write on here, Wattpad and Ao3 my name being the same across the board. I currently have a Wanda x reader book on those platforms, that is currently sat at 132 chapters but is unfinished.
Requests are currently closed.
I mainly write for Elizabeth Olsen & Wanda Maximoff and Scarlett Johansson & Natasha Romanoff, but may throw other Marvel Women and their characters in the mix from time to time.
Elizabeth Olsen
One Shots
She Calls Me Daddy 18+
Happy Birthday
Mommy's Girl 18+
Can't Do This Alone - Parent Elizabeth & Robbie Arnett
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I wrap my arms around my love, bending slightly to rest my chin on her shoulder, her hands finding home on top of mine as we look down to the garden from the bedroom window. The garden where her fruits and veg grow, her flowers bloom bringing some colour to the green around it. Where the twins chase each other with water guns in the heat of the summer sun, their laughter filling the space around us.
Wanda turns in my arms so her arms can wrap around me, her chin resting on my chest as her deep green orbs look up at me. Her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, as her hands sneak under my shirt to press flat on my back. The skin on skin contact sending a shiver down my spine, as well as the added coldness from the metal that has a home on her left hand.
I move my hands to cup her cheeks slowly leaning down to place a soft kiss to her lips, her eyes fluttering at the touch before I pull away. I brush a few strands of hair from her face to behind her ear, the sun glistening against the metal on my left hand and I feel my heart warm at the feeling that settles over me.
"Happy one year, my love." I whisper between us.
"Happy one year my sweet girl." Wanda turns her head so her cheek is resting against my chest as my arms move to wrap around her once more. "Technically 2 if you count when I asked you to be my girlfriend."
Pulling each other as close as we can.
I wish we could stay like this forever. Just holding each other.
Loving one another in the privacy of the room.
Not worrying about the world outside, only focusing on the bubble that's hidden from the world.
A bubble that grew quickly around us, so much so we almost burst it from the inside as we tried our best to hold onto every fleeting second, every quiet breath and every heartbeat.
It's as if, as of right now, time itself has softened its restless march so that we are able to exist here just a little longer - both untouched and uninterrupted.
The warmth it creates, that I feel, it's like something I have never known. Something I have always wanted for it to be just too far out of our reach. Yet the warmth we have found ourselves in is something I can live inside forever and never have to ask or want for more.
And maybe the world will eventually come rushing back in, trying to poke, knocking on the edges of what we have built for ourselves.
But right now, it is just us.
And that is more than enough.
More than I ever thought I would have.
More than I ever thought I deserved.
And yet somehow it is mine,
Hers,
Ours.
Not something fragile which is waiting to break.
Or something we have to chase or try and prove.
This is something steady.
Something which stays.
And beyond this room life is waiting. It is loud, it is messy.
It is full of laughter and growing things.
And for once I am not afraid of it.
Not afraid of what it means.
Not afraid of what comes next.
Not when I know I get to live it all with her.
Just me and her against the world,
Not trying to outrun in, not trying to fight it,
But by stepping into it, hand in hand.
Through every single high and all the quiet in betweens,
Through those moments that test us,
And to the ones that remind us why we chose all of this.
Because no matter how far it stretches out, no matter how much it asks of us,
My body registers the warmth below me before I even open my eyes, my arms wrapped firmly around the woman below me with my head resting between her belly button and hip. My legs are pulled up slightly to stop them falling off the end of the bed, one hooked over Wanda's keeping her as close as possible. I sigh at all of the skin on skin contact there is with how we are laying, not often do I end up being the one using her as a pillow. A shiver goes down my spine at the feeling of her nails scratching at the back of my neck, even in her sleep her body craves mine in some way.
I slowly open my eyes, allowing them to look up and down at our positions as best I can without moving my head and disturbing the sleeping woman in my hold, biting my lip as I realise she has a pair of my boxers on. I take in a deep breath burying my nose in her skin so I can breathe her in, the faint smell of strawberries from her soaps putting me in an almost relaxed trance.
I don't jump when I feel a hand brush against my arm that's wrapped around her waist, barely flinching when I feel a single finger tracing my warm skin. I don't tighten my hold when the hand at my neck moves into my hair, slowly brushing the loose strands out of my face. I simply press my lips to the side kissing the soft skin below, smiling at the soft sigh from above.
My eyes close as my hand is pulled from underneath her, delicate fingers tracing over my knuckles as my arm is moved. I feel the softest of heartbeats as my hand is pressed into the base of her sternum, nothing sexual about it, my fingers twitching ever so slightly at the feeling.
And yet I still do not move.
Her finger continues to trace along my knuckles. With every dip her finger travels down the back of my hand to my wrist, and back to the next knuckle to the tip of my finger; then back down. Over and over, every finger, every knuckle, every inch of skin. Once, twice, three times she traces my hand before lifting it up and shifting some of her weight slightly.
The softest of kisses are pressed to the tips of my fingers.
Only then do I move.
I open my eyes once more, moving my body to lay between her legs as I rest my chin just below her bellybutton so I can look up at her:my legs now hanging off the bed slightly. The whole time her hand stays in my hair, keeping it from falling in my face, her other holding mine close to her heart.
Our eyes meet. 1000 words being spoken in a silent room as her green orbs pull me in further than I thought I could ever fall. I tap my finger against her chest in time with her heart and I feel mine skip at the fuzzy smile that grows, her cheeks turn pink as her eyes sparkle in the light filtering through a gap in the curtain.
"Wow." I don't mean to say it out loud, breaking the silence we have allowed to settle around us, but I know the word pulls at her heart when I see her blush move from her cheeks up towards her ears.
I press my hands into the mattress besides her hips, lifting some of my body weight off of her but keeping my legs relaxed. Using the balance I have to lower myself until my lips brush her delicate skin. I press a soft kiss on her hip, then the other, then below her belly button. My movements slow, my kisses soft I move my way up, kissing a straight line up her body. It's tender, non sexual, and I can feel myself fall in love all over again when I press a kiss to the skin above her heart and her hands move down to push her fingers in the gaps between mine.
I smile softly as I move my right hand to readjust, our palms touch. Our fingers lace together. I move our now joined hands to find home next to her hand, her fingers clasping just a bit tighter trying to convey her words through touch. I easily do the same with the other hand as I leave one last kiss above her heart before lifting my head to hover above hers.
She still has that fuzzy smile on her face, her eyes finding mine easily like a habit she never had to learn. Something instinctive. It will never matter where we are or how much time has passed between us they will always come back to me. Always find me. There is something quiet in it all, an unspoken detail - like she knows exactly what this is, what we are without having to say a single word.
And I feel it too. When she looks at me the way she is, like I am the only thing she ever wants to look at again. As if I am the only place she has ever truly seen herself reflected back. Clear, steady and understood. For her, when her eyes find mine it's like the noise around her fades and she can finally just be. How can something so quiet, so peaceful, feel so infinite.
Wanda pulls me from my thoughts as I feel her soft lips ghost against mine, her head tilting to get the slightest of touch. As her head relaxes back onto the pillow my lips easily follow. I press my lips to hers in a dance we have done before but this time it is slow, it is tender, it holds words we want to speak out loud yet we are too afraid to break the silence around us. So we let our lips speak for us, let our love flow through our bodies. Never once feeling like we need more, never once moving an inch as we breathe each other in.
Only when my lungs scream for oxygen do I pull away by a hair's breadth. Our lips ghost the others as we breathe in sync trying to catch our breaths. I bite my lip, brushing my nose against hers causing it to scrunch and I feel my heart skip one too many beats and my cheeks warm. Her bottom lip is pulled between her teeth as her hands squeeze mine that are still in my hold. We stay like that for a moment, letting our breathing slow down as my eyes search her face. Every freckle, every blemish, every line traced in her skin from years of laughter. My eyes move back to hers, the edges of her eyelids crinkle as she smiles up at me.
"Hi." She whispers so softly, voice cracking slightly and I lean down to give her lips another soft peck.
"Hi." I match her tone and my undivided attention seems to cause a stir as her cheeks grow warm and with a pink tinge.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
It's simple. The words. And yet they mean everything. They hold us together, tear us apart, build us back stronger than we were before. They hold the power to destroy and create.
3 simple words that curl around me, securing me, anchoring me. Repeated over and over, screaming - yes this is what it feels like to be truly loved.
It is sacred, it is powerful and once you have it fills the voids that were once there, it reinforces the broken edges others have left behind, it softens them, it reshapes them and makes them into something whole again.
A feeling of something steady that no longer feels like I am waiting for it to fall apart.
"What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" Her voice is like honey and it easily brings me back down to earth.
"All I am thinking about right now is how much I love you." Her fuzzy smile is back and my heart speeds up for just a beat. "I love when you smile like that."
"Smile like what?"
"Smile like I am the most beautiful thing you have ever seen."
"That is because you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I never want to take my eyes off you as I feel like if I do I'll miss a detail or a moment and never be able to find it again."
"We have all our lives to make moments my love." She bites her lip as I press a kiss to her nose.
"All our lives." She repeats in a whisper like it's some secret between us.
"That is right baby. You are stuck with me forever now." I smile goofily and she laughs with a wide smile, a laugh that seems sacred when it is so soft and delicate.
"Hmm, are you sure you are not the one stuck with me the rest of your life?"
"You could be stuck to me for the rest of our lifetimes and I would love you the same everytime."
"You're going to make me fall in love with you all over again." Her eyes sparkle with something and my heart blooms with love at whatever it sees in them.
"Well that's good because I will never stop falling for you." Wanda tilts her head slightly, pressing her lips to mine as I lean down to rest our foreheads together.
"As much as I love this, I love you, it is christmas meaning the boys are going to be knocking on that door any time soon and begging to open their presents." I giggle at that, noticing the way Wanda's eyes light up at the sound.
"Well then we best get dressed before they do." Wanda nods softly but neither of us make a move to do so.
"Dorogaya."
"Yes my love?"
"Merry Christmas." I kiss her lips one final time.
"Merry Christmas, princess."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh I want to open up my gift first!" Tommy begs as me and Wanda sit on the couch, coffees in hand.
I'm sitting on the couch leaning back, my socked feet gently resting on the floor as Wanda sits sideways against me using the armrest as a backrest, her legs bent slightly as she presses her feet into the gap between the seat cushions. I have one hand holding my mug of coffee and the other is gently placed at the back of Wanda's neck, my thumb rubbing soothing circles on her skin.
"No, that is not fair, why can't I open mine first?" Billy pouts and I notice the way Wanda grimaces behind her mug, brows pinching together.
"How about your mom opens the first gift this year?" I suggest, earning a kiss on the shoulder from my girlfriend.
"Yes!" Both boys say in unison as they scurry off to the tree to find a present for their mom.
"Thank you baby." She kisses the underside of my jaw this time.
"No need to thank me for anything." She shakes her head as she looks at the boys to make sure they're still busy.
"Christmas has always been a bit difficult since they were old enough to understand the types of gifts they were getting. Vision never got them anything they actually wanted, just things he thought they needed instead and they always said thank you but I could see it hurt them to not get something thoughtful. And then when we divorced it got even harder. There was always an underlying tension from everyone and the boys would act out a lot, not that it was all their fault it was just how they were dealing with the issues at the time and they would always argue over the silliest little things."
"Such as who gets to open a gift first when it is so easy to just open them all at the same time." Wanda hums with a nod.
"Exactly. But this year you easily put a stop to it and they just seem more relaxed. I think they are still on edge and waiting for the carpet to be pulled from under their feet because of how me and Vision were with each other towards the end. But with you they truly seem to let their guard down and just be teenage boys who don't have to grow up quicker than they need to."
"Found some." Me and Wanda look over to the boys who are both carrying at least 3 gifts each.
Wanda doesn't make a move to climb off my lap as the twins place the gifts on the floor in front of the couch.
"This one is for you mom." Billy passes his mom a smaller sized gift that fits into her hand easily.
"And this one is for you Y/n." They place a rather large box next to me since Wanda is practically on my lap and before we even have to ask, they hold out their hands and we pass our mugs to them.
"We thought that since it is our first Christmas together you two could open the first two gifts together." Billy explains with a small shy shrug of his shoulders.
"That is very thoughtful of you two." Wanda smiles at the twins with pride and I can see the way they inflate from the feeling.
I watch first and Wanda starts to open her gift but am startled when I feel one of the boys tap my leg and look to see Tommy bouncing excitedly on his toes as his eyes dart between me and the wrapped box next to me. I take that as a sign and pull my attention away from my girlfriend and to my first gift of the day. I take care when opening the wrapping paper, not wanting to rip it all off at once.
Once the wrapping paper is removed I am left with a nondescript brown box, looking at the boys who are waiting expectantly. I turn to Wanda first to see her finger tracing something in the open box in her palm. When she feels my eyes on her she easily turns the box so I see the contents and smile at what's inside.
It is a silver necklace. The pendant is a round, tree trunk wrapped in a full circle encompassing the branches that fall and curve into the centre of the circle. Small pink gems added to the end of some of the branches make it sparkle in the light seeping through the windows.
"Is this a cherry blossom tree?" Wanda's attention turns to the boys and they both smile with a quick nod. "It is beautiful. Thank you boys."
"Karen helped pick it out that time we spent the day with her. She also helped us pick out something extra to go with them." Billy explains and passes his mother another box who bites her lip and I can see the tears building in her eyes.
I give her a moment as I turn back to my gift, pulling at the loose piece of tape holding the lid down. I feel my eyes widen and my jaw fall open slightly at the sight in front of me. My fingers trace the item in the box and I feel my own tears prick the corner of my eyes. I feel Wanda shift to take a look and hear her gasp next to me as she looks inside. I guess she didn't know about this either.
I look down at the colourful ornament. My fingers trace the delicate pink flower, every detail carefully crafted. I feel like if I press too hard the whole thing is going to shatter. It's so delicate. From the centre of the pink flower my fingers trace up the black stained glass, or is it crystal? From the black it moves up to the green of the head, down to the red patch. I feel a tear fall from my eye as I feel every detail, so carefully crafted, every colour so vibrant that it looks almost real in a magical way.
"I don't even know what to say." I feel my voice crack with emotion, Wanda's thumb gently wipes away at a few tears that have fallen.
I ever so carefully lift the item out of the box, both my hands holding steady as I slowly rotate the item so my eyes can take in every inch of it. It is heavier than I thought it would be, which makes me curious. I turn the item over in my hand, and my eyes catch the smallest of details at the base of the product and I feel my stomach drop in confusion. Wanda seems to notice the slight change and her free hand moves from my face to my wrist to gently turn the item more so she can see what I have. Her grip tightens ever so slightly when she sees it.
"Boys." Her voice is steady but cautious and their attention is immediately on her. "Where did you get this?"
"Oh, we saw this the same day we saw your necklace and Karen said she knew the perfect person who could help get this for Y/n. She said something about being glad she met Tony when she did." I press my lips together letting out a breath, replacing the smile on my face at Tommy's answer.
"I'm going to kill him." Wanda whispers in my ear, and I carefully remove one hand from the ornament placing it on her knee giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"Is something wrong?" Our attention whips to Billy who is playing with his fingers and I put the item back in the box as carefully as possible.
"Absolutly not. It's amazing. I am just at a loss for words. Nothing is wrong. I am just taking it in. Thank you so much boys."
"It's okay. I mean it is your favourite hummingbird so we just had to get it."
"I will cherish this forever. I will find a place to put it so I can see it everyday. Thank you, truly boys."
"We hoped you would have liked it."
"I don't like it boys, I love it. So thank you." They both smile at that, grabbing two more boxes from the pile they had brought over and go to pass me and Wanda another gift but Wanda shakes her head with a smile.
"Why don't you go and find a gift for yourselves and then once we've all opened one together we can open the rest of them and show each other as we go." The boys easily agree as they make their way back to the tree. "Baby."
"I know." I cut her off with a hint of annoyance under the surface.
"Baby, they got you a fucking swarovski crystal hummingbird." I squeeze her knee as I take a breath.
"No Tony brought the damn thing. It was very thoughtful of the boys."
"They probably don't even realise how much money it is worth."
"That's good though. They probably would have been more disappointed that they couldn't afford to get it. I kind of find it funny that Karen made Tony pay for it. Hmm I guess I am not actually as frustrated with him paying knowing that, as I first thought I was."
"Well I feel like he does owe you one." I chuckle as she kisses the underside of my jaw.
"I am just going to pretend Tony wasn't involved and remember it was a gift from the boys."
"It is very beautiful." I hum in agreement turning my head to kiss her lips once as the boys make their way back over to us with another armful of gifts.
"Mhmm, it is and that is why I am going to cherish it forever."
~~~~~~~~~~
"No way!" The twins exclaim at the same time as they open their last gifts, their eyes excitedly looking at me and their mom.
"Oh I am so going to beat Tommy." Billy starts a rivalry as he pulls out his new switch 2 from the box.
"Uh no way! I am so going to win!" Tommy refutes and I feel Wanda's soft chuckle more than I hear it, still not having moved from where she is leaning against me. "Can we play now mom?"
"Not right now. Maybe after breakfast." The boys smile excitedly at their mom, placing them back in the box before joining us on the couch.
"There is actually one more gift. For both of you, from both of us." Billy says a little shyly as he looks down to his hands playing in his laps.
"You have spoiled us this year boys." Me and Wanda look over to the small pile of presents they managed to get our friends help to get them for us.
I smile and the new red blanket they got Wanda, it is so soft and fluffy and I am sure I am going to find her most winter days wrapped up like a burrito in it. They then look down to the box the necklace came in, the delicate silver already around Wanda's neck. Her fingers have been tracing the outline of the tree since she put it on earlier. My eyes move to the box where a pair of matching earrings sit, delicate and beautiful. I bite my lip to hold back a chuckle at the custom socks they got her as well with their faces printed on them.
My eyes then move to the hummingbird ornament, my heart filling with love at the thoughtfulness behind it. I have wiped the fact that Tony was the one to purchase the item from my mind, because in reality the boys chose the item so that's the part of it I allow myself to see. I don't think me and Wanda are ever going to let them know how much the item is worth.
My eyes then drift to a perfume they got me, something I haven't used before but it smells devine so I am sure it is going to become my new favourite and if not mine than at least Wanda's. Since I spayed some on me her nose has been buried against my neck most of the morning. I let out a soft chuckle as I see the pair of socks the boys got me, 1 pair with each other of their faces and another with Wanda's on.
I feel my heart grow warm at the love and care I feel in the room surrounded by the 3 most important people to me.
"Dorogaya."
"Hmm?" I turn my head slightly to look at Wanda whose eyes look at me with slight concern.
"Where did you go?" I smile softly and lean down to press a soft kiss to her lips ignoring the 'ews' that echo behind me.
"Nowhere. I was just taking it all in." Wanda smiles at that, giving me a quick peck before resting her head on my shoulder and our attention is back with the boys.
"So like this year has been pretty crazy, the last few months have been insane." Tommy starts.
"But not in a bad way." Billy butts in and I smile fondly at how shy the boys seem to be with this last gift.
"We haven't seen mom smile the way she does with you in a very long time Y/n so we knew you were sticking around. Even when times got tough you still came back. Anyway, we were on a secret mission pretty much from the day we had that big pile on when we spent the night at Aunty Nat's and Yelena's."
"And I figured out you two were dating." Billy adds smugly with a cheeky grin.
"So yeah since that day me and Billy have been on a mission."
"We roped all of mama's friends into it, and even got our younger brother involved." I feel Wanda tilt her head at his words and Billy answers before she can ask. "Nathaniel. He's like a little bro to us and Morgan is like a little sister so we call them that."
"Cute." Wanda mumbles more to herself but I know the boys hear it as they both smile before Billy moves to grab the box from the floor in front of him.
"So, as I was saying, everyone was in on it because Nathaniel got your parents involved Y/n. So we asked them to take candids of you two whenever possible, whenever they could sneak a picture of you. And we finally got to put it all together. So here you go."
Billy places the box in Wanda's lap after his brother has finished the explanation. It isn't wrapped in christmas paper, it's in a simple brown box with some very neatly tied yarn. A small paper on the front with the words To keep that which is sacred close. Wanda takes my hand in hers giving it a gentle squeeze before she looks up at me with her sparkly eyes. I give her a soft smile and nod letting her know she should be the one to open it.
Her fingers, of her free hand, pull gently at the yarn and it easily falls away from the box. Her hand lets go of mine so she can pull the lid off the box, her eyes watering as she sees what is inside and I feel my breath hitch at the delicate design I am looking at.
It's a large book, with a wooden cover and back bound with leather to hold it all together. The wood has an engraving of the mountains and cabin that we visited in Canada engraved into it. The words What we find in a soulmate is not something wild to tame, but something wild to run with - Robert Brault are carefully etched into the woods in the skyline of the whole piece. Wanda's fingers trace the carvings and I watch her carefully, wiping away a tear that falls down her cheek.
The wood is a dark Bubinga colour while the binding is a beautiful dark green that compliments the wood perfectly. It is definitely hand crafted as there are small blemishes here and there which means it is done by hand, which just makes it even more beautiful.
"Boys, this is beautiful." Wanda's voice cracks with emotion, her eyes looking to me finding mine already on her.
"Open it." Billy demands softly.
I wrap my free arm around Wanda pulling her close as she lifts the book from the box, the boys easily putting it back on the floor and places the book in her lap. Her hands hover over the book as if she is trying to memorise the engraving in front of her. I use my other hand to pick the corner of the wooden cover up and slowly open the book in her lap.
I bite my lip when I see the first page. It is a picture of the 4 of us, wrapped up warm in a soft orange glow from the fire pit in front of us. I remember the night we took this photo, when we were star gazing in Canada. I look at each of our individual smiles, our eyes shining in the soft moonlit area. My eyes move to Wanda, biting my lip as I realise she was never looking at the camera when she took the photo. All the attention is on me.
My finger traces the outline of her face as I press a kiss to her temple.
She flips the page laughing as she sees a picture of the day her children, Nathaniel and Yelena piled on top of me. All of us laughing and carefree, another photo next to it, is me and Wanda cuddled on the arm chair at Natasha's, sharing a blanket with my arms securely around her as we look at one another like nobody else exists. Her hand rests on my jaw and I can see the small pull of her bottom lip between her teeth.
The picture on the next page is cute too. It's from the time me and Wanda were cooking together at the cabin. I'm not really sure when they snapped that picture but I am not complaining as I have Wanda trapped between me and the counter, her back pressed against it, her hands holding her up on the edge of the counter. She is leaning back slightly as one of my hands rests on top of hers while the other cups her jaw, huge smiles on both our faces as our noses are brushed up against each other.
I look at Wanda whose free hand rests on the back of my neck, her fingers playing absentmindedly with the hairs on the back of my neck. Her eyes full of wonder as she looks at the picture below her finger tracing the outline of the printed photo.
She moves her hand to grab some of the pages slowly flipping through and looking at all the photos all of the boys have been able to collect, her lip between her teeth as her eyes water. I am sure I look just the same as my eyes take in every detail of each one of the photos.
Wanda turns to a page that has a blank white photo border on it and we look up at the boys who have been sitting there waiting patiently for us to look through the album, both of them watching each of our reactions closely.
"We thought we could take a picture of us today around the christmas tree or with a movie in the background and add that to the album." Billy explains.
"And then we expect you to keep adding to it from now on." Tommy adds and me and Wanda chuckle.
"This is truly an amazing gift." I lift up my free arm and the boys take that as a signal to shuffle closer.
Billy leans against my left side, his head on my shoulder and Tommy moves to rest his head on Billy's shoulders and I move my arm around them as far as it will go, giving a small pull to move them as close as possible for an awkward side hug. Wanda holds out her arm making a grabby hand and Tommy moves away from Billy, lifting the book up from Wanda's lap as he lays down on the couch with his head in her lap. He lays the book down on top of his legs.
"You two are the best sons any parent could ever ask for." Wanda brushes her free hand through Tommy's hair "You are so thoughtful, caring and I am so proud to call you my sons."
They both mumble out a thank you with a pink tinge on their cheeks and I chuckle to myself as it just cements the fact that they got everything they know, everything they have been taught and the way they act and love has been learnt from Wanda and not their father. My eyes go back to the book, which is now closed, squirting my eyes when I catch something in the bottom corner almost hidden within the trees and mountains of the engraving.
"Wait." I whisper out pulling my arm away from Billy as I shift to see the front cover better, my finger tracing the words. "Wands."
"Hmm." Her eyes look where my finger is tracing and I hear the hitch in the breath as she looks at the boys. "You boys really know how to pull at our heart strings huh?"
She lets out a chuckle between a soft cry as tears build in her eyes. My eyes still stuck on the words.
Mama & Mama Y/N
A Story Of Their Love
"I..." I choke on my words, a lump in my throat stopping anything but a short gasp escaping but I feel the smile on my face grow and the tears spill from my eyes.
"We love you Y/n and we know that you and mama are going to get married one day, you love each other - like - a lot. Tommy and I have discussed it and we both agree you have done so much for us already and one day you are going to be our mama too. So although at first, we may still call you Y/n as that is all we have ever called you since we know you. Just also be prepared for us to say mama or mama Y/n." Billy speaks so softly, letting the moment settle over me and my love.
"Did you know?" I turn to Wanda, knowing the answer but when she shakes her head with a teary smile I feel my heart warm and beat just a bit faster as I let the idea that they have come to this decision on their own with no adult idealisations.
"As Billy said. We love you Y/n and we are ready for you to be part of our lives more." I bite my lip as I look at Wanda and she seems to read my mind as she gives me a nod in approval.
"On that note." I sniffle, wiping the tears from my eyes. "How would you boys feel if we all moved in together?"
"Here?" They both say at the same time and I shake my hand with a soft smile.
"No, we could find our own place."
"Would we get our own rooms?"
"Yes, you could have your own room boys." Their mom replies easily, her fingers still brushing through Tommy's head.
"You would make sure mom got a garden?" I smile at Billy with a nod.
"Of course. I wouldn't get a place without her input. Me and your mom would go look at houses. And then we could shortlist the ones we like and then we could go see them again with you guys and we could see what works best for all of us." I suggest and all three of the Maximoffs look at one another before nodding.
"We like that plan." They all say at the same time.
Fucking freaky.
"On that note, shall we put some hallmark Christmas movies on?"
~~~~~~~~
Today has been a good day. Spending time watching crappy Christmas movies that you can't turn off because you somehow get so invested. Eating cookies and chocolates like they have enough sustenance to feed you the whole day. We also decided on not making a lot of fuss about doing a whole christmas dinner, me and Wanda had put the idea forward during opening gifts and the boys agreed that pizza and potato wedges would be the new christmas meal we do every year.
And it was absolutely delicious and zero stress compared to trying to get all the timings right for cooking a full christmas dinner.
We enjoyed ice cream and christmas cake for dessert alongside some hot chocolates while we settled into the last movie of the night.
So here we are, me and Wanda leaning against a separate doorframe each as we watch the boys settle in for the night.
"Goodnight Y/n." Billy yawns as he speaks.
"Goodnight Billy." With that I turn to stand in the doorframe of Tommy's room as Wanda finishes saying good night to him and moves to Billy's door. "Good night Tommy."
"Goodnight Mama." He murmurs and I feel my heart skip a beat at his words, but it settles quickly when I see his eyes start to close.
I pull the door closed with a gentle click and make my way to the balcony. I ignore the bit of the cold on my cheeks from the winter wind as I walk over to the railing, hands resting on the metal bar as I look out to the bright city. I look down to see the traffic, people going to or from family homes, those who work over this holiday going to or from work and then those who just want to get out of the house. I look up to the bright moon, stars not completely visible with the amount of light pollution from the city, but the moon still rises proudly and shines brighter than the city below.
I hum as I feel hands push under the hem of my hoodie, then under my shirt, arms wrapping around my torso until warm hands come to rest on my stomach. Her head resting between my shoulder blades, turned to the side so she can press herself as close as possible. Her feet push between mine and I stand with my feet slightly less than shoulder width apart so her feet stand firm in the centre.
I push my hands under my hoodie finding hers easily and push my fingers between the gaps in hers.
"Hi my love." I say barley above a whisper, but loud enough to hear over the noise pollution from below.
"Hi dorogaya."
We stay like that, letting silence settle over us as we just hold each other. I let my eyes wander looking at the city that surrounds us, each window a view into someone else's story that is being written alongside ours yet it is entirely its own.
Our lives stacked, side by side, with moments that collide and pass one another without ever actually touching.
And somehow in all of that. In all of the noise. In all of the movements. In all of the endless stories being written, we found each other. A quiet pause in the middle of everything.
A small and steady piece of forever which has been carved out just for us.
~~~~~~~
I don't really know how long we have been standing here for, but I feel Wanda shiver behind me and small goosebumps appear on her arms still wrapped around my body. I turn slowly, keeping my right hand in hers.
Her left hand stays under my hoodie finding home on my back as I turn to face her completely. Turning my back to the city.
I pull her right hand from under my hoodie, bringing it up to my lips and pressing her palm against them so I can leave a few gentle kisses on her now cooler skin.
"Let's go inside." I mumble against her skin, watching her whole body shiver as a sudden gust of cold wind blows across the balcony.
I don't let go of Wanda's hand as I lead us back inside, her hand which was on my back moving to my hand cupping it between her hand that is already being held in mine. I pulled us through the door using my free hand to slide it shut and lock it. I lead us past the kitchen, living room and dining room blowing out the candles on my way. I stop just before going down the hallway to make sure everything is as it needs to be and with a satisfied nod lead us to our bedroom.
I pull Wanda past me, leaning myself against the door until it quietly clicks shut. Her hands leave mine slowly, her fingers tickling the skin of my hands as she takes a few steps more into the room.
"I've never noticed this before." My brows pinch as I step to the side to see what she has seen.
I feel a sharp jab to the heart when I notice it on the bedside table. I freeze as I feel a storm of emotions starting to swirl beneath the surface. My eyes watch as Wanda carefully lifts the item up, her finger tracing along the outside of it with her back to me. Her hand moves to her face wiping something from it as she turns herself to sit on the edge of the bed. She pats the space next to her but looks up at me when she realises I haven't moved.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have touched it." She panics going to put it back and I snap back to reality and take a few quick steps forward, my hand landing on her wrist to stop her and her eyes are quick to find mine. "Are you okay my sweet girl?
I feel butterflies erupt in my stomach at the name I haven't heard her call me in ages and I smile down at her with a nod.
"Yeah, I just forgot I had that set out."
"I am surprised I didn't see it last night." Her eyes look down to the photo frame. "You both look so happy."
"We are." Wanda smiles up at me using my grip on her wrist to tug me down slightly and I sit next to her with ease.
"You both look very beautiful. You have a glow to you that screams this is where I am meant to be. And your smile. Wow. I can only imagine the butterflies Sarah would feel when you looked at her with that much love."
"I always thought I was the lucky one back then. The amount of work we put into that relationship for it to work for us and be good for us, was a lot. I would look at her and see everything she had done to be where she is and also see how much we both had to sacrifice to make our life together work."
"Love isn't always easy." Wanda remarks as she carefully sets the photo frame back onto the bedside table and my eyes linger on it for a moment longer before looking at the woman next to me, her eyes already on me.
"No, it is not. But love should also not feel like something you are trying to achieve. I mean, I love Sarah and she loved me but we always seemed to want more, need more. We thought that once we had love we could conquer all, but we had to change and grow along the way. That is what we struggled with. We had always been smart, competitive people and love always felt like we were trying to create something that should occur naturally. It didn't mean what we felt - what I feel - wasn't love but it also wasn't easy."
I take a breath as Wanda's hand finds mine giving it a squeeze as she also gives me the space to speak through what I am feeling. Not an ounce of judgement, resent or jealousy in her eyes or in the way she smiles. Just understanding.
"Our love. It asked things of us. It asked us to give more than we knew how to at the time. And I think maybe that is the difference. The difference between real yet restless, and something real. Something that finally lets you breathe"
Her hand gives mine another squeeze and I move my free hand to cup her jaw, my thumb running across her chin a few times as our eyes take each other in. I take a breath, leaning forward slightly so our foreheads are pressed together, our nose barely touching our eyes never leaving the others.
"With you. I feel like I can breathe." I whisper between us and my eyes dart down to see Wanda's bottom lip trembling.
She presses her lips together trying to stop the movement but it is useless when she lets out a shaky breath and a lone tear falls from her eye. I move my thumb to swipe away the tear, moving to press a kiss to the slightly damp skin left behind before going back to resting my forehead against hers. I close my eyes as I take a few calming deep breaths after finally being able to put into words what my heart has been feeling this whole time. I jump only slightly when her other hand lands on my cheek, not expecting the soft contact.
"Then breathe." My eyes open at that, her soft smile melting my heart.
Wanda moves to lay on top of the covers, her head on the pillow. Her hand tugs mine and I respond to the silent demand. I move to lay on top of her. Her hand releases mine and moves to the back of my head guiding it to the crook of her neck as her other arm settles on my back under my hoodie, her nails gently scratching up and down my spine that creates a feeling of comfort I allow myself to be enveloped in.
"You don't have to earn this love with me. This is not a competition, or a race. I am not keeping score. I am not waiting for you to get it right all of the time."
I let out a shaky breath, her hand that is on my head moves to the back of my neck where her hand presses gently into the skin grounding me.
"I just want this. Us as we are."
Something within me loosens before I can register it, before I can stop it, before I even know what it means. Something that has been holding me tightly much longer than I ever realised. Wanda notices. Of course she does. She always does. Her voice softens even more as she turns her head to press a soft kiss to my temple.
"You can rest here." she whispers against my skin. "I am not going anywhere just because it isn't perfect."
"I love you Wanda Maximoff."
"I love you to Y/n Y/l/n"
"Just us?" She presses a final kiss to my temple at my whispered words.
Today was a really nice way to spend Christmas Eve. Me, Wanda and the boys spent a good while decorating the christmas tree before moving onto making gingerbread houses - which - we then ate while watching corny christmas movies. We wrapped some tinsel up the stairs and around some of the load bearing beams to give the rest of the penthouse a bit more of a christmas feel to it, and also hung all of our stockings on each of the rooms door handles since I don't have a fire place to hang them above.
The last thing we made sure to do was ensure that S.U.S.I.E was aware of the boys staying and to remove any wake up calls I had save, silence any work calls from anyone at work since some people prefer to work through the holidays and keep themselves busy, and others are unfortunately working on something that bleeds into the holidays and have to keep working ... though I make sure to give them an extra in the tax year bonus to make sure they know I appreciate the hard work .
But after a lovely day spent with the three of them, it is now chill out and relaxing time for me and Wanda since it is later in the night and both the boys are asleep. Though it took a while as they couldn't decide on which quest bedroom they wanted at first.
We are both in the bath together, me sitting back with Wanda between my legs. My arms are wrapped around her as my hands find a resting place on her stomach, while she leans back into me; the back of her head resting just below my shoulder. Her fingers trace along the back of my hands under water as we both bask in the moment we are having together and how relaxing it is. To finally have her back in my arms like this, is a feeling I have truly missed.
I place a few soft kisses on her shoulder feeling her body sink down slightly as she relaxes into me more, her fingers moving to trace up and down my forearms as she tilts her head to the right to look up at me. She has a fuzzy smile on her face as her eyes easily find mine as I move from kissing her shoulders to pressing a few gentle kisses to her lips. She easily reciprocates the kiss, our lips dancing together as we both close our eyes at the feeling of closeness.
"I love you." My heart skips a beat, and I can feel my cheeks warm slightly, from the words whispered against my lips. My eyes flutter open to meet hers, the candlelight glistening in her deep green eyes, biting my lip and the intense gaze upon me.
"I love you too." I whisper back brushing our noses together, causing hers to scrunch up with a soft smile adorning her face. I brush some hair back behind her ear. "I've missed this."
Wanda bites her lip, trying to stop her smile growing wider at my words as she takes them in, her hand lifting mine so she can start pressing kisses on my palm. She gives it a few light pecks before turning my hand over and kissing my knuckles, her eyes never leaving mine and I can feel my blush move from my cheeks up to my ears at her undivided attention. Once she is satisfied she has peppered my hand with enough kisses she moves my hand up to cup her cheek furthest away from me, leaning her head in my hand.
"I've missed our quiet moments too dorogaya." She kisses the inside of my wrist, her fingers pushing in between the gaps in mine so she is pushing it more against her cheek.
"I don't just mean our quiet moments. I miss the comfort you bring me, I miss the way you look at me the way you are now. I miss us." I admit, feeling her hum more than I hear it, the feeling resonating in my chest so I continue before she can start with what she wants to say. "And I know we are meant to be taking things slow, making this a slow burn love that grows over time. Making sure we do things the way other people do, only seeing each other when we are free on weekends, casual texting throughout the day and the odd call here and there. But ..."
I bite my lip stopping myself from saying what I want to next, gauging her reaction to what I have already said only to find her eyes never left mine. Her full attention is still on me, not wavering once through that whole thing. Her hand still resting on top of mine, her back still against my front and her smile. It's so soft, so calming, so pretty it makes me swoon and almost forget what I need to say. Her hand still resting on mine, that's still on her stomach, gives a gentle squeeze that brings me back and I smile in thanks. She hasn't said anything so I take in a sharp breath as I know I need to say what I am about to, to see where she is at with everything.
"But Wanda, my love, when have we ever done anything by the norm? We had a onenight stand that has turned into something truly amazing, and beautiful and I would never change the way that we got to where we are now from where we came from. Okay maybe I would change how I told you about Sarah," that earns a chuckle, "but everything else. I'd go through it as many times as I could just to prove to you how much I love you and need you in my life."
"I need you to, my sweet girl." She turns her body as much as she can, which is a lot easier than normal due to the size of the bath: The type of bath where your knees and boobs can be underwater at the same time. Her body rests sideways against mine as she bends her knees slightly to bring both her legs to sit over my right one. "But I don't want you to change the way we planned to do this if you're only doing it because you think you have to, because you're worried about what it could mean for us in the end, or if you're just having a moment of 'fuck this' becuase we are having such an intimate moment in the peace and quiet."
"I've never - uh - I've never had a relationship like this Wanda." I look away from her for a moment to look at the tiled wall as I gather my thoughts, her hands still on mine keeping me anchored, turning back to her once I'm ready, "I've never fallen so fast for someone as I have you, I've never had a relationship where it's two people pushing the other person to be who they want to be, making sure that both of us are open and honest with each other and just want to take away all the hurt of the past and say I'm here to help you grow from it. I've never looked at someone and thought you must be my angel sent to rescue me from myself. You make me better everyday, and I want to keep being better everyday for us. I want to make sure I make you feel better, help you grow, look after you and love you. Everyday. And I can't do that through the phone or a few text messages. But I also don't want to push you into something you aren't ready for if you need to go at a slow pace. For you I would do anything."
I see some tears in the corner of her eyes, a small shaking breath leaving her lips as her hand moves away from mine on her stomach to press under her eyes to help the tears escape that must be stinging her eyes. She swallows harshly as her wet hand moves to cup my cheek, the warmth from the water feels really nice and I can't help but close my eyes at the feeling.
"Y/n, those words were beautiful. You are beautiful, your soul is beautiful." I open my eyes at that once again easily finding hers that still haven't looked away from me. "Our relationship has been anything but fitting the norm, but it is ours and you shouldn't be worried about what other people think about how we have gone about being in love with each other or how we continue our journey together. I know you have a lot of insecurities from your past relationships and they have shaped you in a way that you are still learning and growing from, but you also have learnt a lot of things about what you need and why you need it. You wanted space so we can both grow into our own selves and then come back and be better for one another, and now you are saying you don't want to. I will support you through whatever decision it is you make to make sure you are looking after yourself so you feel like you are happy with who you are for yourself but also for our relationship. I've lived a life knowing who I am, I just have to learn about what things make me happy, and I can do that whether I am with you or whether we do that separately so you can grow. I don't want you changing this one thing you said you wanted because your insecurities are taking over."
I tilt my head to press soft kisses to her lips, moving slowly down to her jawline to leave a few along there before moving to her neck where I rub my nose against her soft skin taking in a deep breath. Breathing her in, still smelling of strawberries, helps to calm my head down that has a thousand different thoughts all racing each other at 1000mph. Yet one stands out, with clarity. Something I spoke to Dr Raynor about recently and she told me as long as I don't let myself stop growing, and to keep coming to sessions she sees not issues with the idea. I leave one final kiss on the underside of her jaw before removing my head from her neck and resting my forehead against hers my eyes instantly meeting hers.
"Move in with me." I whisper in the small space between us, my eyes searching hers for any type of reaction, biting my lip as I see the corner of her eyes crease.
She doesn't say anything.
"Wanda."
"Promise me you're sure that this is you making this decision and not your insecurities and anxieties taking over." She comes back down to earth and bumps her nose against mine, her breathing deepening as she turns her body to face me completely, her legs either side of mine as she sits down in my lap, her knees pressed against my hipbones; her hands cupping either side of my face now as mine drop to rest on her thighs.
"I promise." She bites her lips, leaning forward to brush her nose against mine.
"Ask me again." I move my hand up to pull her lip from her teeth with my thumb, gently brushing it over her bottom lip before moving it down to hold her chin between my finger and thumb.
"Move in with me. You, me and the boys. Altogether under one roof. Our home."
"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes." Her bottom lip quivers as she breaks out into a smile before tilting her head to press her lips into mine, desperate and needy as her arms move to wrap around my neck pulling herself as close as possible to me.
She pulls away, by mere millimetres, her lips brushing mine and it sends a shiver down my spine. My hands move slowly from her thighs, dragging upwards towards her hips making sure to press my thumbs into the inside of her thighs before sliding my hands around her waist to her back. I watch her bite her lip, eyes fluttering shut, as I move my hands downwards until they land on her buttcheeks giving them a forceful grope. Electricity shoots through me as she moans against my mouth at the feeling, pressing her lips together turning the noise into a hum. Her eyes open, dark and staring into my soul.
"Just us." She asks as her hips and legs shift slightly at the feeling of my hands now very lightly groping her every few seconds.
"Just us babgirl." Her body shifts upwards, her now hard nipples dragging up my torso before she settles back down having move one leg in between mine so she ends up grinding into my right leg. "Are you sure?"
"Please." Her breathy moan, as she drags her core along my thigh while my hands continue to play with her buttcheeks, sets something off within me.
"There's my pretty girl, my vocal lil' babygirl ... my good girl." She shivers at my tone as I start moving my hands around to the front of her body. "Are you going to be good for me, let me have my way with you. Wanna make you feel good."
"Anything for you. Please, just ..." Her right hand leaves my neck as she moves it to rest on the back of my hand, then using it to push my hand downwards and twisting it slightly until I'm cupping her centre.
Hot.
I smirk up at her as her hand leaves mine to join her other one at the back of my neck, her fingers playing with the baby hairs, as her hips shift slightly as I push a finger between her fold. I bite my lip with a groan as Wanda's head drops to rest on my shoulder, even in the bath I can still feel how wet she is just from so little. I move my finger down to her entrance, giving it a small tease by tracing around it before sliding my finger back up and finding her already sensitive clit, she hums at the feeling as I apply the tiniest amount of pressure while rubbing in small circles.
I move my other hand back to her hip to hold them still as she tries to gain more friction, a frustrated groan rumbling in my ears as her hands move away from my neck and across to my shoulder blades. I kiss the side of her head as I keep the slow tight circles on her clit going, my other hand squeezing her hips now and again as her moans - although quiet - grow more consistent and I smile to myself as I feel her fingers dig into my skin.
"Baby." Her groan sends shivers down my spine as I lightly pinch her clit before going back to rubbing tight circles on the sensitive bud. "Oh, god, baby."
I bite my lip, shifting my legs a little to sit up straighter, feeling my own arousal growing as I watch Wanda get closer to her high. I move my hand off her hip, instantly she starts to roll them trying to gain more friction, as I trace my finger up her side feeling her shiver at the motion. Her fingers drag down my skin as I pinch her right nipple between my finger and thumb, her head titling back as she moans into my ear, her hip shifting harshly causing my finger to slide from her clit to her entrance.
"Please." Her breathy sigh fills my ears and she lifts her hips slightly before sinking back down her body begging for more.
He groans when I don't give it to her and I move my finger back to her clit moving my finger in tight circles, her head tilting back down to look at me as her dark eyes stare at me, her hips still slowly moving back and forth. She flattens her hands on my shoulder blades, her lips pressing together as I starting rolling her nipple under my thumb and her hips jutter at the feeling and once again her head tilts back her body moving back with her; one of her hands stays on my back as the other moves to just above my knee to hold herself up.
I take the opportunity to lean forward taking her other hard nipple between my lips, swirling my tongue around the sensitive skin, her hips jumping at the feeling as her nails dig into my skin. My hiss turns into a hum and I'm relatively surprised when I hear her call my name out into the bathroom, her body shaking lightly against mine as her hand on my leg tightens as I watch in awe at how sexy she looks like this. Her chest moves up and down quickly as she lets her mouth hand open, closing her eyes and savouring the moment as she calms down.
I smirk as I move my hand from her boob to her back, laying my hand flat and splaying out my fingers so I can pull her with me as I sit back up more comfortably. Her hand slides up my leg with the movement coming to rest gently on my thigh, her hand on my back relaxing as she moves to rest her wrist on my shoulder, her finger tips barely grazing my skin.
"How did ... you? How did ...I?" I chuckle softly at her confusion as her forehead comes to rest on my free shoulder, her breathing slowly calming down. "You didn't even do anything, and ... fuck ..."
"It was very sexy seeing you react that way to my few touches." Her teeth gently pinch the skin of my shoulder "Did you just bite me?"
"You called me easy." She nips my shoulder again and I tap her butt in retaliation and I can feel her smile against my skin.
"No I did not." I roll my eyes to no one but myself, my hand moving back to her back to slowly rub soft circles against her skin. "I think the heat of the moment was what really got you."
"Yeah. How so?" She doesn't move her head from my shoulder, deciding to leave a gentle line of bites, so as to not mark my skin or hurt, from the base of my neck to my shoulder.
"The idea of moving in with me, the heat from the bath, the intimacy of being cuddled how we were." I hum at the feeling of her teeth biting a bit deeper at my shoulder before she starts trailing her nips back towards my neck. "And...."
She hums as I go silent, taking in the moment as I feel her remove her hand from my leg and move it to my bicep gently squeezing the muscle of my arm. Her fingers brush against the skin of my shoulder before tracing a line to the back of my neck sending a shiver down my spine at the feeling and then tracing a line along my jaw to my chin where she uses her finger to turn my head to face her direction. I look down slightly to see her leaning the side of her head on my shoulder, biting her lips as she looks at me. She shuffles slightly to get comfortable but gasps when she realises my hand is still between her legs, and watch her eyelids flutter at the realisation.
"And?" She practically hums out as I feel her body twitch as she pushes herself against my hand slightly.
"And maybe you were imagining how we were going to celebrate the moment we move in together. How we can make sure we get good use out of each of the rooms we want." Her body shifts as she rolls her hip once a low moan bubbles at the back of her throat. "The way we could move from the front door, making sure all our new neighbours know who you belong to."
Her eyes flutter shut, her hand moving back to the back of my neck where she starts to scratch the skin gently and the hand on my arm tightens its grip.
"And then?"
"And then. Oh my sweet babygirl." I can feel and see her cheeks glow at the name. "We'd move into the kitchen, or maybe the dining room. Use the table, the counter, the wall. Spend some quality time with you clinging on to me, legs wrapped around my body as I have 2 ... maybe 3 fingers inside of you, using you, finding all the spots that set you off."
Her hips roll forward as my finger comes into contact with her entrance I don't tease or pull away this time but I also don't give her a moment to think about her actions as I push a finger in. My name rolls of her tongue with the sweetest of groans her hips sinking until my wrist comes to rest against her pubic bone, I curl my finger as a test to see how reactive she is and when I feel her walls flutter and feel her moan more than I hear it I can't help but smirk.
"God, Y/n, don't stop." She groans.
"Are you going to cum for me baby?" Her hips start to bounce up and down on my hand, water splashing around us, as I push another finger into her entrance as a moan bubbles from deep inside her chest.
"You feel so good." Her breathy sighs turn me on easily shifting my legs to adjust against the feeling of pleasure growing in my own core. "You can have your way with me in any room of the house if you make me feel this good.
I continue to curl my fingers inside of her as her hips move more frantically as her high builds and builds. My name leaves her lips like a chant, her nails digging into the back of my neck ignoring the way I can feel the skin break slightly; in all honestly it turns me on more knowing her body is reacting this way to me. I move my free hand back to her right boob as I play with her nipple between my finger and thumb going from rolling the sensitive bud to pinching it every now and again.
Her hands fly back to my shoulder blades for more stability as I push in a third finger, the sound that comes out of her is dirty and raw before I feel her jaw hang open as the sound turns silent, her voice cracking slightly. Her hips go back to rolling against my hand as I shift the position slightly to help my fingers move in deeper and allow me to make broader strokes against her walls while my wrist comes to rest on her clit.
Her words and my name now replaced by moans and sighs of pleasure. I feel her walls clench tightly around my fingers barely allowing me to move them as she continues to roll her hips. I hiss when she bites down on the space between my shoulder and neck and her nails dig into my back, dragging a deep path down my shoulder blades. Her hips jutter as she moans between her teeth as I feel her cum around my fingers, forcefully, her walls trying to keep my fingers inside while also pushing them out slightly at how tight she is.
The moment lasts a short while, her body slowly calming down as her walls gently release the grip they have on my fingers. She rests herself against me more as her body slumps forward, not having the energy to keep itself up, her walls flutter slightly at the movement due to my fingers still being inside her and I hear her hiss at the feeling.
I move my free hand to her back, rubbing soothing circles around her skin to help her regulate her breathing and hopefully bring her back down to earth. It takes a few minutes for her to calm down enough to remove her hands from my back using one of them to gently push at my wrist to let me know it's okay to remove my fingers, which I do as slowly and gently as I can to help not overstimulate her already tired body. Her other hand moves to my chin, using her pointer finger to tilt my head to look at her and she easily lifts her head to give my lips a few gentle kisses.
My now free hand sloshes in the water slightly before finding home on her hip, my thumb rubbing soothing circles on the delicate skin in time with my hand on her back. She hums in appreciation against my lips a soft fuzzy smile pulling at the corner of hers as her eyes glow in the aftermath of two orgasms. Her finger traces along my jaw line, up and down, a few times while her lips barely leave mine as the soft kisses continue between her shallow breathing.
"I swear that gets better everytime." She mumbles against my lips earning a soft chuckle from me.
"That's because I know your body babygirl." Her eyes close at the nickname as her legs shift slightly next to mine. "Someone's horny."
"Shhhh." She presses her finger, which was on my jaw, against my lips to silence me. "All the talk of moving in, and just being her with you is enough to make my body crave your touch.
I open my lips slightly gently, taking her finger between my teeth, not applying any pressure, and her eyes dart to watch the movement as her bottom lip slips between her teeth. She slowly retracts her finger from my mouth before going back to tracing my jaw as her eyes look back up to mine.
"And my girlfriend is hot. Sue me." I let out a full belly laugh at that, her eyes lighting up at the sound as her smile turns into a toothy grin. "I want cuddles. Lots of cuddles."
"Your wish is my command, my love." She wraps her arms around my neck as I wrap mine around her torso bringing her impossibly closer. "Although this is nice, the water is getting cold and I would much rather be cuddled under the duvet with you."
"Mhmm. Naked cuddling?" She asks in the most innocent ways as her eyes glisten in the low bathroom light, and it makes my heart fill with love, with how cute she is.
"Naked cuddling it is. But we got to get dry first. So up you get." I tap her bum gently so she knows to shuffle backwards, which she does easily, so I can get out of the bath first. "Do you need some help dear?"
Her face scrunches.
"I don't know how I feel about that name." Her eyebrows knit together before she shakes her head. "You can't call me that until we are both over 50."
I chuckle softly at the way her face relaxes as she holds out her arms to me silently asking for help. I easily follow the silent task, bending down to slide my arms under hers and around her back and gently lift her up. Her legs shake slightly as she finally stands up stepping out of the bath and her arms easily find their way around my waist.
I reach for her towel, wrapping it around her shoulders before grabbing mine. We both let go of each other as we dry ourselves off, I bite my lip to hide a smirk as she sits herself down on the toilet lid to steady herself as she does. She shoots me a look with her eyes that practically says shut up and I huff out a laugh as I turn back to the task at hand.
Once I am done drying my body I wrap my wet hair in a towel, so I don't have to deal with a noisy hair dryer that will definitely irritate me too much in the quiet atmosphere we have created, but also allow us both to settle into bed quicker. I turn back to Wanda who seems to have the same idea, her towel now hanging loosely around her hips and draping onto the floor, another one being used to hold her hair. I move to pick up the discarded towel and hang both our now wet towels on the towel rail before moving to stand in front of her.
"Uppies." She demands softly as her arms lift in the air, making grabby hands.
I don't say anything but easily bend down to pick her up, her legs wrapping around my hips as her arms wrap around my neck; she buries her head into my neck taking in a deep breath.
"Do I smell good?" She hums against my skin leaving a soft kiss at the base of my neck.
"You always smell good baby. It's a comforting smell." She moves to rest her head on my shoulder as I move to leave the ensuite. "Whevener you were busy with work or when you had to go away I would wear your shirts, or curl up next to them in bed, so I could have your smell near me. It smells like home."
"That's a really cute and sweet baby." She doesn't reply, not that she needs to, choosing to stuff her face back into my neck.
I easily carry her over to the bed, gently tightening my grip with my left arm around her back as my right arm moves to pull the duvet back. I sit on the bed, Wanda still attached to me, only moving to uncurl her legs from around me and moving them either side of my hips. I turn us to lay down as I use my free hand to pull the duvet up to our hips. Her body sinks impossibly closer to me, her legs shifting to tangle with mine as she pushes her hands down to press against my back between me and the bed. She hums at the comfort as I move my right arm back to her back gently giving her a squeeze.
She lets out a long sigh as she moves her head to rest on my shoulder. I raise an eyebrow as I see her inquisitive eyes on me, her lip slips between her teeth as her eyes search mine. Once she finds what she is looking for her teeth remove themselves from her lip, her right hand moves from underneath me to trace along my collarbone.
"Tell me about your sister." Now my other brow joins the other as I look at her in surprise, but smile at the question.
"What do you want to know?" Wanda hums, as my eyebrows relax her finger moving to draw patterns on my sternum.
"Anything and everything. That you wish to of course." Her index and middle finger stand up on my sternum as she walks them over to my collarbone and goes back to tracing the bone.
"Theres a lot to tell." She smiles up at me, tapping my collarbone a few times.
"We have time. I feel like I have known you forever, and yet I don't really know much about you. I mean yes I know about your past, and your family and the dynamic there. But I haven't heard any stories about you and your sister growing up. I don't need to know about your birth parents if you don't want to talk about them. But I do want to know about what my Y/n was like when she was younger and I just .... I want to know all about you."
"Only if I get to hear stories about you and Peitro. I want to know all about you babygirl." I reply easily and she lifts herself up slightly to plant a kiss on my lips that I savour by rubbing my lips together once her head settles back on my shoulder.
"Oh I have some good stories. But you start." I look up to the ceiling for a moment as I think about some stories to tell her and chuckle to myself as I look back at her when an idea pops into my head.
"I am going to tell you about the time that Carol thought Goose, her cat, was an alien."
Soft Christmas music echoes around the penthouse, quiet voices filling the space the sound doesn't quite reach, small sounding bells ring out and the smell of fresh cookies fill my nose. I watch from the couch, mulled wine in hand, as Wanda and the boys are digging through boxes labelled 'XMAS DECS'.
My eyes drift over to Wanda as she bends down to reach into one of the boxes, her sweatpants slightly tightening around her ...
"You know you could just take a picture." My eyes move up slightly to see Wanda smirking at me over her shoulder, I match her smirk before taking a sip of my drink.
"I think sometimes just being in the moment is better than a picture. You know, you and the boys unpacking the decorations in the penthouse." She shakes her head a little as she goes back to digging through the box.
"Yeah, and you just keep sitting there enjoying your wine." I take a sip as she looks back at me, slowly standing up to face me.
"Well it is very good wine." Wanda smiles softly as she makes her way over to me, taking the glass from my hand and taking a sip for herself. "And I have never actually decorated the tree here, Papa T has people for that. I've only really decorated the tree with mom and dad when the children were younger now, that I'm the tallest, I put the angel on top while I watch them all argue about the fact that one bauble is too close to another bauble."
I hear her chuckle lowly, glancing back at the boys who have a quiet excitement about them as they continue to dig through the box of decorations.
"Well I think it's time to change that and make our own traditions as a family." She puts the glass of wine down on the coffee table taking my hand in hers, and I stand up as she squeezes my hand lovingly. "Me and the boys have something for you."
"But it's not Christmas yet." Wanda bites her lip and shakes her head, her thumb rubbing along my knuckles.
"It's not a gift. It's how we want to start this tradition." I see the nervousness in the way her feet shuffle on the floor, the bite in her lip and her eyes searching mine for reassurance.
"Well then let's start our Christmas tradition by creating them." I lean down, bringing Wanda in for a soft kiss that, although only momentary, holds meaning behind it.
"Okay," she whispers against my lips before pulling away and turning to the twins. "Boys, have you got the box there for Y/n?"
"Right here mother dearest." Billy mocks as he holds up a box decorated in snowflake wrapping paper.
"Less of the cheek." Wanda scoffs as Billy pokes his tongue out at her as we make our way over.
"Sit." Tommy demands as he gets up to grab a cushion from the couch, placing it on the floor before patting it for me to sit on.
I plonk myself down, rather ungracefully, struggling to decide if I want to be crisscross applesauce or have my legs slightly bent out in front of me.
I choose the former when Billy places the box in my hands while trying to contain his excitement, his eyes darting from me to the box; what I see now isn't fully closed and the top part is open: filled with Christmas coloured tissue paper to hide the contents. I decide not to give it a rattle to try and listen for what it could be, in fear of it falling out the top.
"Okay so before you start digging through this I just want to explain the origin of it." My full attention turns to my beautiful girlfriend who is glowing in the sun coming through the windows.
"I'm listening." I put the box on the floor next to me to avoid distraction.
"So this came about when we went to Canada together. Specifically in Banff, but I think these hold the memories of the whole trip really. I saw them and I just knew that to be able to start new traditions we would have to bring memories with us to always honour them. I showed the boys, who helped decorate the box, and they agreed that you should be the one to place the first decoration...well first two."
Tommy slowly lifts the box from the ground next to me and places it in my lap, an apprehensively excited smile trying to tug at the corner of his lips.
"We hope you like it Y/n." I smile back at Tommy as he settles back next to his brother, Wanda choosing to sit beside me; her head resting on my side.
I take a small breath in, my fingers coming into contact with the silver tissue paper. My eyes meeting the twins, my lips tugging into a smile as I see their eyes on me watching with a quiet excitement. My eyes drop back down to the box, feeling Wanda's arm wrap around my back with her hand resting on my side for comfort.
"There's not going to be a jumpscare in this right?" I look up dubiously at the boys who giggle while rolling their eyes.
"No, only at halloween would we do something so mean." Tommy gets out between giggles.
"Or April fools. But no, no jump scares." Billy adds, as I feel Wanda's hand squeeze my side reassuring me as I look back down to the box.
I slowly peel the top layer of tissue paper away, feeling my breath leave my lungs as I see what sits below. Carefully placed on top of a layer now red tissue paper, is a glass ornament, glinting in the light coming in through the windows. I feel tears form on the edge of my eyes as my finger traces along the features of the ornament. They follow the different textures, ridges and shapes from the edge of the ornament. My eyes take in the colours as the shape of the ornament becomes slightly blurry as I feel a few tears escape and run down my cheek.
I realise I haven't taken a breath since it left me until I feel Wanda's hand move from my side to my back, rubbing up and down my spine gently. Her chin is now on my shoulder as she whispers towards me.
"Breathe dorogaya, just breathe." I feel her other hand rest on top of mine in the box before turning it over, her fingers start tracing the inside of my palm. "Just breathe."
And as easily as I have stopped breathing, I take a breath in. Wanda's fingers slip between the gaps in mine and our hands clasp together as she gives mine a few gentle squeezes. When I look at her, her free hand moves from my back to wipe away the tears that have gathered on my cheeks and just below my eyes. Her thumb then slowly moves down to wipe the tears that have pooled in my smile lines. I purse my lips to the side giving her thumb a gentle peck before her hand moves back up to cup my cheek.
"Are you still with us?" She asks so softly I almost don't catch it.
"I'm here." I turn my head to give the inside of her palm a soft kiss before turning my attention back to the ornament in the box. "It's .... I don't know what to say - what do you want me to say - it's beautiful."
"It is." Wanda agrees easily
"It's perfect." I whisper as I release my grip on Wanda's hand allowing her to remove it from mine so I can pick the ornament up in both of mine: carefully.
My eyes take in the emerald green that spans the majority of the ornament, from one end to the other, different shades coming off due to the way the light hits the etched edges of the glass. My fingers trace along the pointed edge at the bottom of the glass before tracing upwards along a flat edge and then down to a long rounded point at the other end.
Turning the ornament over slightly my fingers trace down the other flat edge that goes from green to red then into a larger white patch. I feel my bottom lip quiver as I choose to rest it in the palm of my left hand, my palm fading to green, and I just simply stare at it. Taking in all the details, every single edge and shape that creates such a beautiful design.
"Thank you." My eyes move from the ornament to the boys who have waited so patiently. "This means ... everything."
"Mom mentioned that you had a thing for hummingbirds, or Sarah did." Billy explains as his eyes look down at the ornament in my hand. "I just think it is amazing that mom found it while we were all on vacation together."
"I think it's something magical, truly. It's like she's saying that she is always here because how else would you explain there being the exact type of hummingbird that she liked in a random all year round Christmas shop in Canada." Tommy adds.
"And now it will be a part of our family tree forever." Billy smiles widely. "But also, I mean not to take you away from cherishing Sarah's memory, but when you are ready there is more in the box."
I chuckle to myself as I hear Wanda say his name under tight lips as I move to place the ornament down on the floor in front of me. Once I am sure it won't tip itself over I go back to the box moving some of the tissue paper out of the way until I see the next ornament which makes a smile grow on my face.
I pick this ornament up a lot easier than I did the last, tears still brimming but my mind is more in the present after being whisked away in the memory of Sarah. My eyes take in the wooden ornament, fingers tracing the intricate carving before me, the metal that weaves into the back of it. I smile at the scene it creates and the way it shows love through its design.
"Are you okay dorogaya?" Wanda's voice brings me out of my own world as I turn my head for our eyes to meet.
"I am more than okay, my love. These have been so thoughtful. I had never even thought about doing anything like this. It's always been so painful to do Christmas without them there, and I could never find a way to honour their memory in the way you have been able to. And for you to allow me to honour their memory. It's truly amazing." Wanda's hand softly presses against my cheek once again.
"Of course we would allow you to honour their memory. They are still as much part of your life as we are at this moment, and that is never going to change. Ever ." My lip quivers at her words, but I hear the crack of emotion in her voice. "I saw this one and although it's a very stereotypical white women house decoration, it just made me think of you and Evie and I couldn't not buy it."
"Well it is a very stereotypical white woman thing, but it is beautiful and I will cherish it every year."
"I know it's not your typical angel since you refer to Evie as your angel but I thought this was just as fitting." I press my lips together nodding at her explanation as I look down at the ornament.
"Right, uh..." I clear my throat and huff out a breath. "Shall I put this up."
"I think that sounds like a really good idea." Tommy jumps to his, raising his arm out towards me which I easily grab and I rock back and allow my forward momentum to help him pull me upwards.
I feel Wanda's hand move from the base of my back up to the middle of my back as she stands up next to me, my head turning to see the loving smile on her face with her other hand holding up the hummingbird ornament for me. I lift my hand up and she gently places the ornament in my hand, my eyes meet hers and I mouth out a quiet thank you. Her nose scrunches up as a smile pulls at her lips, my own smile growing in tandem.
Her hand drops from my back as I make my way over to the christmas tree, both ornaments in hand, the lights on it not turned on right now due to it still being a bit light out but I can only imagine how amazing it will look come night time.
I grab the thread of the hummingbird ornament, fiddling with it in my fingers until my index and middle finger slip into the centre hold of the thread, using them up to open it up so it is easier to put on the branch. I choose the centre branch that you can see from multiple different angles including from the window, if some sort of bug or bird can appreciate this sort of thing.
I move the branch a little bit while also moving the ornament further inwards to make sure it doesn't sag too much and interrupt the flow of the tree ... not that I really know anything about that. I just normally watch the chaos of it all before being called into help at the end.
Being happy with the way the hummingbird looks, making sure you can see the complete thing and isn't hidden by any of the branches, I move onto the angel ornament. I place it in-line with the hummingbird but a few branches over so they aren't touching or too close together. I fiddle with placement of the angel on the branch, because I cannot have these falling off or dragging the branch down.
They have to be perfect.
Letting go of the angel ornament for a moment and taking a step back to look at my hard work. I smile as the colours from the hummingbird bleed into the surrounding wall, floor and even up to the ceiling painting it all in beautiful green and red. It bathes the angel ornament in the colours too and I feel a warmth spread throughout me and settle deep in my heart.
I don't look at the ornaments and feel a sadness for what once was, or what I used to have, or the story of a love that was abruptly pulled from my life. It doesn't make me feel sorrow for what could have been.
No.
It makes me feel warm, at ease, and my mind flows with the happy memories. I don't feel the sadness that comes at the end of the memories when I remember that they are simply memories. I feel the love that I had for them, and they had for me glow within me. I had something special, I cherished it and I lived a good life with them. But I cannot let it continue to control my emotions, my life and the way I love the people I surround myself with.
Yes, I will allow myself to continue to grieve. I will always grieve for them. But I can't allow myself to wallow in that grief, and in that sadness. I won't let it consume me. Not while I've got a new happiness right here next to me.
What is a person if not memories.
It hits hard thinking of them as just that, but it also means the memories I have of us all - the really good memories - is what is going to allow them to live on inside of me. I can't fight the grief, I won't wallow in the grief. I will take my next step into my journey with grief as a quiet passenger only speaking up when I need to take a break from the road.
"I think they look really ethereal together like that. And the colours, I feel like we are a part of the painting it's creating." Billy speaks up from behind me, all of them having given me the time I need before helping pull me out of my world and back into the present.
"Well you guys get the credit for picking them out." I turn with a smile as I see Wanda stood between the twins, her arms wrapped around both of them.
"Yes but you're the one who told us about them, so you get credit too." Tommy adds in.
"Well why don't we say you guys did a good job of helping me honour their memory and allowing me to share Christmas between you and them." I suggest and both the boys give me approving nods and smiles, then looking towards Wanda.
When our eyes meet we seem to have a momentary, silent conversation and she squeezes the boy's side before leaving them standing there and making her way to me. I let out an 'umph' as she lets her body practically collapse into mine with a chuckle, her arms wrapping around my torso as I wrap mine around her shoulder.
I place a kiss on the top of her head before resting my chin on there and I feel her push her face into my torso more. I chuckle to myself as I look up to see both the boys have their arms wrapped around themselves, smooching up their lips and making kisses sound to the air. I feel Wanda go to look but I only pull her closer to me and stick my tongue out at the boys who both giggle and poke their tongues out at me.
"So they can't be the only two ornaments on the tree now can they?" I ask after a quiet moment and both the boys gasp.
"No, we have more. There's a bear, a beaver and of course a maple leaf." Tommy exclaims as he lifts each one out of the box on the floor.
"And we have some normal ones." Billy chuckles as he holds up some silver baubles.
"Well why don't we get this tree finished and then maybe we can watch a christmas movie together?" Wanda suggests.
"Yes!" Me and the boys exclaim excitedly, as I pull myself away from Wanda a bit so she can see me nodding with a wide grin on my face.
"Can we have chocolate and hot chocolate too?" Tommy asks.
"Of course you can." Wanda answers easily and the boys squeal with excitement as they both dig into the decoration box to grab more baubles and talk maniacally to each other about how they want to decorate the tree.
"And what about me?" I ask in a hushed voice, I see the toothy smile found its way onto Wanda's face and it makes me smile just as wide.
"For you, well you dorogaya ..." Her index and middle finger walk up my chest to just below my bra line. "You get snuggles with me."
"Mhmmm." I hum as her fingers move to twirl at her hair. "Well I cannot wait."
"Of course you can't. Cuddling up with me, who wouldn't want that as an early christmas gift?" I roll my eyes at her biting her lip and cheeky wink.
"If I ever say no, you have permission to ban me to the couch for the night." She chuckles as I lean down to peck her lips and she easily smiles against them.
"I'll hold you to that." I chuckle before we hear the boys complaining behind Wanda.
"Are you guys just going to stand there kissing each other until sunset or are you going to help?" Billy asks with a hand on his hip.
"Well that's us told." I grumble as I give Wanda one last peck before making my way to the box of ornaments to grab a couple.
As I stand up my eyes meet Wanda's once more and the smile and the way the sun brightens up her already loved filled eyes, makes me blush. I can feel it spread from my cheeks to the tips of my ears. She winks at the sight and I'm not sure I can go any redder but I certainly feel my cheeks heat up more. But it also settles just as deep and as warm in my heart as looking at the two current ornaments on the tree do.
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I stir in bed, the feeling of complete calm and relaxation trapping me under the warm duvet, my eyes fluttering open as my hand searches for the body next to mine. Yet, it comes up cold, no one next to me. Nothing next to me but slightly warm bed sheets. With my eyes fully open I glance around the room, adjusting to the small stream of light that comes in through a gap in the curtains.
I groan as I stretch out my muscles, feeling some of my joints pop and crack, leg shaking as the muscle goes from being ridiculously tight to relaxed in mere moments. Rolling onto my front, I let the side of my face sink into the pillow as I take a steadying breath in. It smells like her.
The smile that grows on my face, simply by being enveloped by her smell knowing she stayed last night, is so big my cheeks start to hurt. Although we didn't do anything but simply hold each other, cuddle close and argue over whose turn it was to be the big spoon and the little spoon, with little to no clothes on I will forever remember the feeling of how intimate it was without being more than just what it was. Cuddling.
We actually spoke about a lot of things last night, including how - although we loved having sex with each other before - it is not the be all and end all of our relationship and we want to allow our bond to grow in different ways instead of letting it be added up to all our intimate moments. That doesn't mean we won't ever have sex again, because goddamn Wanda is too beautiful to not show her how much I love her and her body, but for now we aren't going to rush into things.
That being said, we are still going to her parents for boxing day with my family. Which might not seem like taking it slow but we have already met each other's parents so it only seems natural to spend such a meaningful holiday with them.
I am brought out of my wandering thoughts by a gentle knock at the door, my brows furrowing at why she doesn't just come in.
"Hey Y/n, it's Billy. Can I come in?"
I guess that answers that question.
"Hang on one second Billy. I just gotta finish changing." A say trying to sound like I have been up for ages, as I finally drag myself out of bed and over to the walk in wardrobe.
I easily find a fresh pair of nicely fitting sweatpants, a gym vest and a hoodie that Wanda brought me after our weekend with her parents. I chuckle when I see the bad joke on the front, a stick person pointing to a sign that says bad sign while the stick person has a speech bubble saying well that's a bad sign. I roll my eyes when I remember her childish giggles, her eyes full of love and humour as she held it up to me saying something along the lines of 'saw this, thought of your silly jokes, I had to get it.'
I grab some brightly coloured, stripy, fluffy socks and head towards the bedroom door. Turning the handle I trip backwards as Billy falls backwards through the door, obviously leaning his back against it while he waits on me, but my instincts are quicker and I manage to catch him under his armpits stopping him from hitting the ground.
"Whoops." Billy chuckles as he stands up turning on his heels to face me, smiling cheekily as he starts to rock back and forth on his heels. "Hello."
"Hello master Maximoff." His smile turns soft, as I raise my arm out to usher him in. "Come on in."
"You look like you just woke up." I hum as I walk to the bed and sit down on the edge of it to put my socks on.
"And what makes you think that?" I raise my brow at him, as he leans against the wall with his arms crossed with a smirk, too similar to his mother: mischievous.
"Well you know." He pushes himself off the wall moving to stand in front of me before his foot gently taps my right leg, that's hanging off the bed, my other resting on top of my thigh so I can put my sock on. "Just the fact that your sweatpants are on inside out and your hair looks like a lion's mane, or like you were dragged through a bush backwards."
I look down to see what he is talking about, sighing and falling backwards onto the bed as I realise he is right, seeing my sweatpants on inside out I throw my sock at him. I hear him chuckle and the next thing I know my world has gone dark as the sock lands over my eyes.
"It's rude to throw things at people you know." I lift the edge of the sock peeking at him with one eye, at his words.
"Well it's rude to wake people up from their sleep you know." I mock him and he pokes his tongue out at me.
"Well it's late, like 9.30am late. Also it's Christmas eve day, morning, or whatever you want to call it. Mama has a tradition of making us festive waffles, you know waffles with powdered sugar and other good things that have way too much sugar. A sweet treat as some might say."
"Why are you speaking so proper?" He chuckles with a shrug as I stand up and move to the walk-in wardrobe leaving the door slightly ajar so I can still hear Billy but he can't see me put my sweatpants on properly.
"It's fun watching your tired brain try to take in what I am saying in its sleepy state."
"You like poking fun at me huh?"
"Yup." He pops the P and I can imagine the smug smile he has. Just like his mother.
"Well all I really care about is the waffles you mentioned, that is all I can think about now." I step back out of the wardrobe, now with my sweatpants in the right way and both my socks on.
"Well that is why I am here. Mama is cooking them, and although she didn't ask me to wake you up I thought it would be mean to make her have to heat them up just because you stayed in bed all day."
"Oh so you do care about me." He hums at my words, pursing his lips to the side before giving me a lopsided smile.
"I think I said I didn't want mama to have to reheat them, don't think I mentioned you in that sentence. Apart from the staying in bed part."
"Whatever." I mumble rolling my eyes, bumping his shoulder playfully as I walk by him.
His hand on my forearm stops me from walking, gently tugging at my arm to turn me around. I oblige the boy's silent demands, my head tilting as his demeanour seems to have changed from his cheeky self to a little more shy, nervous even. He lets go of my arm, a little shakily, once I am completely facing him. His hands drop in front of him and he starts fiddling with his fingers. Goodness this boy has so much of his mother in him. His eyes fall to the ground and then back up to me after a long breath out.
"Thank you." His lips twitch at the corners, a smile there for a fleeting moment before he bites on his lips his eyes looking around the room.
"What for buddy?" He looks back up at me, his eyes seeming a little more watery and he bounces on his toes for a minute, I don't say anything letting him take a moment.
"For coming back." He wipes his hands on his shirt moving to stick them in his sweatpants pockets instead. "After thanksgiving, when you didn't come round. Mama said you were busy with work and some other bullshit, sorry BS, excuses. I mean Tommy seemed to believe her, or at least allowed the excuses to just be the truth and push it to one side. You know we got so used to her making excuses for dads behaviour more towards her then us, she defended us so much but the moment it came to her it was always things like 'I'm just tired' or 'I hurt myself at work.' Or some shit like that. Sorry."
"Firstly, don't apologise for the swearing I am not going to tell on you. Secondly, you're mama telling you these ... excuses ... as you say is her protecting you. I know that it may not feel like it, or have felt like it back then, but her making excuses about things that happened and have happened recently is the way she protects you and being truthful probably herself. Lastly, I was always coming back."
"It's just the way you disappeared. You didn't really say anything, or really say bye. You just left." I press my lips together at the small amount of anger in his voice but it seems to disappear as soon as it appeared. "And I get why you did it, I mean at first I didn't and I believed mama at first but after a few days it didn't sit right with me. You have made time for us before even when you were really busy. And one night when I went to get myself some water, when I should have been in bed, I heard mama crying on the phone to Natasha saying she messed up and hadn't heard from you. Mama doesn't know I heard her but it was enough for me to know that you left and weren't busy."
I open and close my mouth not knowing what to say to that, an apology maybe but also I feel like he would think I am just saying sorry. He swallows harshly, using the back of his hand to wipe some tears from his cheek. I close my eyes for a moment at the sight, the image flashing behind my eyelids, but they open suddenly when I feel his body collide with mine and his arms around me squeezing me so tight that my lungs get all the air pushed out of them.
"I'm not angry at you. Stuff, shit, happens and you needed space. I get that. I just wanted to say thank you for coming back, you had a lot of reasons not to come back and yet you did."
I wrap my arms around him resting my chin on the top of his head as his words settle over me. I hear him sniffle a few times before he takes in and lets it out slowly. I lean back slightly, my hands gently cupping his cheeks to tilt his head back slightly so he is looking at me.
"Do you know why I came back?"
"Because you love mama." He states easily, with a smile that makes me smile.
"That but I also love you and your brother. You're right I did go away because I needed space, especially after thanksgiving, but I always planned to come back I just didn't have a time frame of when. But then Natasha interfered with my plans to have some alone time and she made a few good points. So I came back."
"And you came and stayed with our grandparents for the weekend, even though you were only meant to stay for dinner. So much for coming back and taking things slowly or whatever you planned on doing." I scoff harmlessly as Billy gives me his cheesy smiles.
"Seems you still like to make fun of me I see."
"Well get used to it because I'm sure mama won't let you go anytime soon." He smirks at me, and I raise my brow as he moves away from my embrace and heads towards my door. "By the way, you already have my blessing to ask for her hand in marriage whenever you want."
My jaw drops as he sends me one cheeky smile as he practically hops, skips and jumps out of view and down the hallway. I slam my jaw shut with a shake of my head and a smile. Running my hand over my face I let out a slow breath as I follow where Billy just left. I pull the hood of the hoodie over my head pulling the toggles to tighten it slightly, something about it just makes me feel comfortable and relaxed: and to hide my bed hair.
I make my way down the stairs, smiling as I hear soft jazz music coming from the kitchen, a beautiful humming echoing around with the music. My smile turns soft when I move towards the kitchen, seeing a flash of a person as they move around with ease, choosing to lean against the edge of the large entrance way of the room. I do love an open plan, no doors. I lean my head against the wood, folding my arms over my chest as I watch the woman in front of me lose herself to the music.
My smile widens with a soft chuckle as she spins around, spotting me as she does so. Her cheeks grow a pink tinge to them at being caught in her own world, but instead of stopping and going back to whatever she was doing she holds out her arm making a grabby hand. She bites the corner of her lip softly as I push myself off the wall, my hands dropping to my side as I make my way over to her.
She starts swaying her hips in time to the soft music, I reach my hand out as I get closer to her. The moment our hands touch I lace our fingers together and slowly pull her towards me, my other hand landing on her hip as hers finds home on my chest. Her chin rests on the back of her hand, looking up at me as I look down at her.
A silence falls over us, only the soft music wrapping around us as we start gently swaying side to side. Our joined hands rest against our sides as we sway together, our eyes looking into one another, our soft smiles matching each other as we just let the moment settle over us.
We stay like that for a few minutes, until the song changes to something else. I take my hand off her waist moving it up to hold her chin with my finger and thumb as I lean down and press a kiss to her lips. I feel her smile against my lips as we continue to press our lips together, her soft giggles filling the room over the music as she drops my hand choosing to wrap her arms around my neck as I'm bent down. My now free hand moves to the base of her back pulling her impossibly closer. I smile more as her giggles continue to break apart our kisses.
I pull my face away slightly to see what she is giggling at and I see a sparkle in her eye as she looks up at me, that takes my breath away. Her hands play with the baby hairs on my neck as a fuzzy smile paints itself on her face.
"What's got you so giggly?" She hums, pressing her lips together to try and contain her smile.
"I just love you, I missed this with you." I feel my cheeks heat up slightly at her words, but watch as her eyes dart to her left and she giggles again.
I follow her eyeline and see the two boys with their backs turned to us, their arms wrapped around their bodies as much as they can as they wiggle their hips making kissy noises. I chuckle in time with Wanda as we both turn to look at the boys mocking us, Wanda choosing to lean against my side as her arm finds home around my waist. I lean down to whisper in her ear.
"So the whole thing about ' oh I just love you' was false and instead you were laughing at your sons who were mocking us." Wanda hums with a shrug turning her head to press a kiss to my cheek.
"Well I do love you, that much is true. And I have missed being all domesticated with you. But how can I not laugh at the boys mocking us, we both know how they feel about PDA." I chuckle as Wanda turns back to look at the boys. "Okay, that's enough, we get it. Now if you want your special waffles, go wash your hands and sit down at the island."
"Yes mom." They drag the words out before disappearing from the kitchen giggling with one another.
"They do realise there is a sink right there." I point backwards over my shoulder to the kitchen sink.
"Think they like their ensuite so they're making the most of them."
"Do I get to partake in this special waffle tradition you and the boys have?" Me and Wanda turn back to face one another, her hands trailing up and down my chest as she bites her lip with a cheeky glint in her eye.
"Well that depends." I raise my brow at her.
"And what does it depend on, princess?" Her cheeks flush slightly at the nickname.
"Well, you have invited us to your fancy penthouse for Christmas yet I do not see a Christmas tree. So me and the boys have another tradition of putting up our tree together, it is actually sitting pretty at our house, so I was wondering if you even have a Christmas tree for this place and if so would we be allowed to put it up ready for tomorrow?"
"Hmm well the penthouse hasn't seen Christmas in a while. I mean I have been going to Mama P and Tony's, or Laura's and Clint's for Christmas so I haven't decorated this place or the house in a long while." I hum pressing a kiss to her forehead, her eyes fluttering shut momentarily at the feeling before opening and easily finding mine. "As for you and the boys decorating, I am sure I can have Gabe take a car to the town house and grab the decorations and the tree we had there."
"I didn't mean just me and the boys decorate the tree. I meant all four of us, as a ... as a family, decorate it together." I smile softly at her shyness, using my fingers to push some hair behind her ear.
"We can decorate it together. As a family." She smiles tilting her chin up and stepping on her tippy toes to press a kiss to my lips.
"Oh they're still kissing Billy." Me and Wanda turn to see Tommy covering his eyes with his hands as he shouts back to his brother.
"Don't you two ever get tired of kissing each other." Billy breathes out as he enters the room, his arms folded and giving us an unimpressed look.
"Sorry boys, but I love your mother too much not to kiss her. And when you both have partners that make you feel the way your mom makes me feel, we will definitely be giving back what you've been giving. So if you don't think you can take it, you best stop mocking us."
"Yeah, yeah whatever. You just seem to time your PDA perfectly with us walking in a room."
"And how can we apologise for such an inconvenience to you?" Wanda asks as she moves away from me and towards Tommy pulling his hands off his face.
"Hmm." Tommy pretends to think. "The waffles will be a good start."
"Well I think that can be sorted. Sit your butts down on the stools and stop being so whiny. I am sure you are both happy to be spending Christmas here, in a penthouse overlooking the snowy city, with all the candy and chocolates you could want since Y/n seems to want you bouncing off the walls with your sugar highs."
"Hey look, I may have gone a little overboard on the sweet treats. Sue me. It's been a while since I have been the host and not the guest at Christmas, so I am going to spoil all 3 of you." I shrug and Wanda lifts my hand pressing a kiss to the back of it.
"And you have been a wonderful host so far, dorogaya."
"Yet you are the one who is making us breakfast, so I am not really doing my hostess duties."
"I think I have been a guest here one too many times to be counted as a guest now, don't you think." She turns before I can retort, opening up the door of the toaster oven to see how the waffles are cooking so I turn to look at the boys.
"But you two are still my guests. So, as your hostess, I must ask how are you finding your rooms?"
"It is amazing!" The boys say at the same time.
"The washroom attached to it, meaning I don't have to walk in after Tommy has done his business stinking up the place is so nice." I hold back a chuckle as Tommy's jaw drops at his brother's words.
"Yeah, well, at least I have hot water while I shower. Not having to be cold because you decided you needed a long hot shower where all you do is have a mini concert to yourself." Billy pokes his tongue out at Tommy who just rolls his eyes.
"Okay boys that's enough poking fun at each other, otherwise your waffles are going to be plain." Wanda says without turning around still preparing our breakfast for us.
"You want to know what my favourite thing about this place is?" I change the subject, not wanting to cause another spat between them.
"The view." They once again say at the same time, causing me to chuckle with a shake of the head.
"Sort of. I mean yes the view of the city is pretty but I much prefer the balcony." I point to the French doors that open up to the outside. "I like sitting out there, more so in the warmer weather, with a good book or my telescope at night. Or simply a nice fire by the fire pit in the evening. It's very relaxing. And although the city has a lot of light pollution and makes it difficult to see stars sometimes. The moon makes up for the lack of stars you can see."
"Now you sound like some poet who writes about how love is written in the stars and souls are intertwined from beginning to end." Billy observes as he looks out the windows to the city skyline. "I like the bed the best. It's nice and big"
"Me too." Tommy and his brother chuckle before their eyes go wide as Wanda brings over their breakfast.
My mouth waters a little at the sight of the waffles, with whipped cream, chocolate droplets, chocolate sauce. Billy has some blueberries on the side of his while Tommy went for strawberries. My eyes shift down to the table as Wanda places a plate in front of me, my eyes widening at the plate before me. I have what the boys have but both the blueberries and strawberries as well as some raspberries.
"This looks amazing, love." I look to my left to see Wanda standing next to me with her own plate in hand, looking the same as mine.
"You're welcome dorogaya." She lifts her hand up to her face, kissing two of her fingers before moving them up and pressing them on my forehead. "No PDA in front of the twins if you don't want to be mocked."
"Right." I hum out as I look back to my plate, not knowing where to start.
"Eat up before it all melts together in a mess." Wanda motions for us to start eating and the boys immediately dig in.
I almost choke on my first bite at the feeling of Wanda's hand on my stomach, under my shirt and hoodie. I feel her pressing her front against my back, nuzzling her face against it, her arms wrapped around my body as she lets herself relax against me. I look at her plate, the whipped cream already starting to melt on her waffles, untouched but don't question why she isn't choosing to eat yet.
Her hold tightens for just a moment as I finally find the power to swallow again and easily take a second bite humming at the taste of the sweet goodness practically melting in my mouth. My free hand finds itself under my shirt as well, finding home on top of Wanda's, my fingers slipping between the gap in hers and curling them so the pads of my fingers are pressed against the palm of her hand.
She gives it a gentle squeeze before unwrapping herself from me. Her left hand stays in mine as she twists her body so her back is leaning against the table, only moving her left hand to hold mine more comfortably so our arms aren't twisted awkwardly. She looks to her right to grab her first forkful of food, her eyes never leaving mine as she takes a bite. I smile softly at the way her eyes light up at the taste.
"You know staring into each other's souls counts as PDA right?" Tommy pipes up and mine and Wanda's smile widen as we both laugh wholeheartedly.
"You boys can go eat in the living room, as long as you use the coffee table and sit on the floor. We don't want to have food all over Y/n's couch now." The boys both pump their fists in the air in celebration as they both very quickly get down from their stools and walk out of the kitchen with their plates.
"These are amazing baby." I hum around my next lot of food as Wanda smiles bashfully up to me.
"It's nothing special, just some waffles." She shrugs as her hand drops mine so she can turn around and start eating her food properly.
"Well I believe you were the one to call them special waffles, so you're wrong - and wrong - they are indeed special." Wanda chuckles before her eyes move away from her food to look out at the city skyline, and the small flurry of snow moving past the windows. "It's a beautiful view."
"Hmm, my view is better." She turns to look at me, her cheeks flushing pink when she notices my eyes already on her.
"Flirt." I shrug moving to stand behind her, wrapping my arms around her as I bend down to bury my face against her neck.
"Only for you." I mumble as I leave a soft kiss against her skin, before moving my head to rest my chin on her shoulder.
"I love you." Her voice cracks with emotion as she turns her head to look at me, her eyes searching my face before settling on my eyes. "I'm so in love with you dorogaya."
"And I am so in love with you princess." She smiles bashfully, as I lean in to press a gentle kiss to her lips that she easily reciprocated. "Gosh you're so beautiful." I mumble against her lips instantly to make her smile again.
"Once again, you're a flirt." I chuckle as I pull away from the kiss moving to stand up straight, but not moving from holding Wanda as I look out the window watching the snowfall.
"Once again, only for you my love."
"Dorogaya." Wanda mumbles my pet name, tilting her head back to look up at me and I easily tilt my head down to look at her.
"Yes baby." Wanda bites her lip, hesitating while her eyes search mine and she must find something she was looking for as she seems to relax, her teeth letting go of her lips.
"Just us?" She asks more than states and my heart skips a beat at the sound of the words, a smile tugging at my lips as I tilt my head down to press a kiss to Wanda's forehead pulling back to make sure I can see her and that amazing love filled smile of hers.
I easily get lost in her green eyes, the way they are sparkling in the morning light small creases forming at the edges as the smile on her face grows wider. Her head tilts softly, her teeth pull at the corner of her bottom lip. Her eyes haven't left mine and mine haven't left hers for what feels like a lifetime but I am sure it has only been a few seconds since my admission at wanting her to be my wife in our future. I jump slightly at the feeling of her hand on my cheek, so lost in her eyes I didn't notice any other movement.
"It's just me baby." I smile at the tenderness in her voice, my eyes fluttering shut as I lean into her hand on my cheek. "How did I get so lucky?"
I turn my head to press a soft kiss to her palm allowing my eyes to flutter open and they naturally look to hers, a thousand silent conversations happening all at once behind them as they soften at my actions.
"I think I'm the lucky one." Wanda's smile turns soft, her teeth disappearing behind her lips as they become slightly pursed to the side.
"After everything I've done and to still have you love me and be with me. I am definitely the lucky one here."
I turn to face her completely, her legs falling back onto the bed and she quickly pulls her knees to her chest with her free arm wrapping around her legs. Her hand that was on my cheek seems to recoil as she thinks about what she has just said, instead moving to rub at her eyebrows that pull together and her smile drops to a frown. I pull my legs underneath my body sitting back on my calves. I lean forward as far as I can to wrap my right arm around Wanda's back, my left hand pushing between her knee and chest and use the leverage of sitting back down on my calves to move her closer to me.
I unwrap my arms from her body, Wanda's other hand now wrapping around her legs allowing her to pull her knees tight against her body. She tilts her head down so her chin comes to rest on her knees, the swirling emotions in her eyes growing with the tears that form. I reach out my hand, stopping short of her cheek not wanting to initiate contact when she was in her own head. I watch as her eyes look to my hand then to my eyes and she must see something in them that lets her breathe out slowly and rest tilt her head to put her cheek in my hand.
"Baby, can you look at me?" She shakes her head so softly I barely catch it but I feel the movement with my hand. "Baby I want you to be looking at me when I speak to you so I know you are listening to what I am saying."
"I'm listening." She mumbles, her eyes continuing to look down and avoiding me.
"My love." I keep my voice quiet and soft, her eyes briefly flicking up to me at the name before dropping back down. "You may say you're listening, but I know you're in your own head so you'll only be hearing what I am saying. Not listening. Not taking in what I need you to take in."
"Okay." She lets out a small sigh and I smile softly when her eyes meet mine, rubbing my thumb in soothing circles over her cheek.
"I love you. I am so in love with you." I see Wanda's bottom lip start to wobble as her eyes become watery. "Yes in the past you have hurt me, but it doesn't mean you don't love me and cherish me. A lot of those things wouldn't have happened if you didn't care and love me, trying to protect me from what you see yourself as after being with Vision. But the way you always, always apologise and own up to your mistakes and you show me through words and actions what the person I love is truly like."
"And what is she like?" Wanda sniffs, using the back of her hand to wipe some tears from her eyes.
"My love, you are extraordinary. You are kind, caring, you have so much love to share with everyone. You're smart and talented, you are strong and independent but not so much that you don't allow others in. You're cute, adorable and your smile makes me melt like the first time I saw it. I love everything about you. You are perfect princess, please don't forget that."
"I'm not perfect." Wanda chuckles as she nudges her body against mine.
"You are to me. You are perfect in all your own ways." She presses her lips together, her eyes slowly close as a few fresh tears run down her face. "I got you baby. I am right here. I got you."
Wanda's body crashes into mine, as her arms wrap around my torso while her face finds comfort in hiding against my neck. I fall backwards with the momentum, my arms wrapping around Wanda's body as she falls with me, a nice soft landing onto the mattress. Her legs end up either side of my body as she wiggles impossibly closer.
"I got you too dorogaya." her voice muffled against my neck but I can hear the words enough and it causes my heart to sore out of its cage. "I love you too."
~~~~~
"I can get down if you want." Wanda says as she presses a few kisses to the side of my head.
"Nope. I'm good. Unless you want to get down." I let her thighs slide down my body slightly by loosening my grip on them and she quickly squeals, fighting to have her legs back up and around my waist.
"No. I didn't say that. I am perfectly happy here. Thank you very much." I chuckle as Wanda rests her chin on my shoulder, her arms wrapped loosely around my neck.
Wanda is currently getting a piggyback ride because apparently I don't chauffeur her around like this enough, and demanded that today is the day I make up for it. So here we are currently heading towards the living room where we believe everyone is, not that the sounds of the TV and her family's laughter isn't enough of a giveaway.
We stop just short of the doorway, and I feel Wanda's head tilt on my shoulder in curiosity. I feel her grip tighten as I lean forward. Our heads peak just past the door frame, Wanda moving her head to rest her cheek on the back of mine. A smile tugs at my lips as I see Iryna and Oleg cuddled up on their navy blue loveseat, Oleg's arm wrapped securely around his wife's waist as she leans against him; her legs over his. I then look over to see Pietro sitting in the corner of the three person couch, his good leg hanging off the couch as his one in cast laying down in front of him. The twins are sitting on the floor in front of the three person couch, a cushion under their butts, Tommy sitting crisscrossed while Billy has his legs outstretched.
As I look back to Iryna, the small movement must have caught her eye as she makes eye contact with me from the corner of her eye. A see a smile tug at her lips as she looks back at the TV. I stand back up straight and Wanda giggles quietly as she hides her face back into my neck. I give her thighs a gentle squeeze with where my hands are holding her up, turning my head a little to try and get a look at her but she continues to hide her face in my neck.
I smirk to myself before I jump forward, Wanda squeals against me, her grip tightening more, now both of us visible in the doorway. Everyone turns to look at us, smiles growing on our face when they see us. Wanda's laugh spreads across the room as I start bouncing her up and down as I basically gallop into the room. Her contagious laugh makes my smile grow, her family chuckling along, as I gallop behind the couch and then the loveseat. I spot an empty space on the other three person couch that's placed against the wall opposite the loveseat.
I bound towards it with a wide smile. Instead of letting Wanda down gently, I pivot on my heels and lean backwards. Wanda's grip on me loosens as she falls gently to the couch, and I allow myself to gently land on top of her. Her giggles make me smile impossibly wider, her hands and feet pushing with no power to try and get me off of her. Before she can get me anywhere close to move I feel a weight land on top of me and the adorable chuckle of Tommy. I look down to my torso where he has laid himself across, his legs kicking in the air as his hands hold the back of the couch.
Billy joins us, but instead of laying on top of me he clambers over my legs pushing them out of the way slightly so he can squeeze his butt between the couch cushion and my legs. He pivots his body so he can attempt to lay down, his head goes under Tommy's arms (which are still outstretched) and lays it against my side. His legs kick out to rest over the arm of the chair.
I hear Wanda's small breathless chuckle and decide that it's enough squishing for one day. I wrap my arms around the boys, and move to sit up. Both the boys squeal as Tommy ends up laying sideways in my lap, as Billy ends up sitting up but squished between me and the couch.
Tommy wiggles around so he is sitting up on the very edge of the couch and it gives me the perfect opportunity. I wrap my right arm around Tommy again this time pulling him close as I stand up, his legs kicking as I hoist him into the air and his giggles fill the room. Billy immediately stands up on the couch with his arms outstretched making grabby hands. I laugh with a smile as I hold my left arm out and he is quick to wrap his arms around my neck and wrap a leg around my back. I wrap my arm securely round him and lift him up as well.
Their laughs fill the room as I do the same thing I did with Wanda, bouncing them around as I bound around the couch and loveseat. I catch their grandparents eyes, both of them holding something I can't quite decipher and want to know what it is they're thinking but when I see their wide smiles it hushes any questions I have for now.
"Oh sestra, you never said she was as strong as a fricken bull. Bet she is a muscle mommy under those sweats too."
"Pietro." Wanda says with a bit of shock in her tone as I watch a cushion fly across the room and hit him square in the face.
I chuckle as I see Pietro raise his brow at Wanda as he tucks the cushion behind his head. Wanda looks my way then back to Pietro and she gives him a nod and silently says something to him that looks like 'you have no idea'. I make my way back to the couch gently placing both the boys down, who both flop onto it sitting halfway on halfways off as they try to stop giggling. I tap Wanda's leg who moves them up without further instruction and I sit down next to her.
"Nope, this is not going to work." Wanda says with a cheeky smile and I look at her with furrowed brows. "Up."
I stand up as Wanda pushes my back with her hands, giggling as she does. The moment I'm standing up Wanda shuffles across to where I was sitting, her hand patting the space next to her. I let out a soft chuckle as I realise what she wants
"You just wanted me to sit in the corner so you could snuggle up to me?" I raise a brow and Wanda just shrugs with a cheeky grin.
"No idea what you're talking about dorogaya. Now sit." She pats the couch cushion again and I oblige in her demands and plonk myself down onto the corner of the couch.
Wanda shuffles closer to me, my arm naturally wrapping around her shoulders. Her head rests on my shoulder as she pulls her legs up onto the couch, grabbing the blanket from the back of it and haphazardly laying it across them. She tilts her head up to give the underside of my jaw a gentle kiss, and we chuckle at the sound of the boys and Pietro making gagging sounds.
"Keep it in your pants sestra." Instead of throwing a cushion, she simply flips him off instead and he pokes his tongue out in retaliation.
"Now, now children. We are here to enjoy a simple family time. Being lazy and watching TV." Iryna's motherly tone makes us all look her way and I see the way Wanda and Pietro keep looking at each other through the corner of their eyes.
"Yeah Uncle P. Behave otherwise it's another time out for you." Tommy says with so much cheek Iryna covers her mouth with her hand to try and hide a giggle as Pietro's jaw drops.
"If I wasn't so crippled right now I would come get you."
"You couldn't get me even when you were crippled. AH!" Tommy squeals as Pietro chucks a cushion at him.
"Pietro don't bully your nephews, you know how they get when it comes to revenge pranks." Oleg says, staring into space, like he is reliving a memory but soon shakes himself out of it.
"Yeah Uncle P don't bully us." Billy says in a mocking tone.
"Boys don't be mean to your uncle. He will chase you whenever his foot is better." The boys shrug.
"That's going to be some time."
"Yeah we have ages to be mean to him before we have to hide."
My attention is pulled away from the twins and the other twins as I see her parents whispering to one another as they look our way. I tilt my head ever so slightly which Wanda must notice because I feel her look up at me, then to where I am looking. Her hand gently takes mine giving it a gentle squeeze before kissing my jaw again, as I feel her body slightly tense at what she is seeing.. Iryna and Oleg must feel our eyes on them because they turn to look at us with soft smiles.
"Y/n dear." Iryna starts softly, looking at Wanda with the same look. I feel Wanda relax against me which makes me relax. "Me and Oleg have been talking, and we have a question. Nothing bad I promise and you can say no. But we were wondering if you wanted to join us for Christmas this year?"
"I oh, I didn't expect that." I chuckle nervously as I look at Wanda who gives me a reassuring smile.
"Like I said you can say no, and no offence will be taken. We know it is short notice." I quickly shake away the shock and smile at both of them.
"I mean I would love to ..."
"But?" Oleg raises his brow but a firm hit on the arm from Iryna makes him quiet and drops the look.
"It's just I was thinking about maybe doing Christmas with Wanda and the boys on the day. You know, just the four of us spending our first Christmas together. Though I haven't had the time to ask Wanda if that's something she would want actually." I look at my love scratching the back of my neck, her fuzzy smile with her eyes crinkling makes me feel safe in that very moment.
"We would love nothing more dorogaya. How about we spend Christmas day at yours, then on boxing day we could all come here for a second Christmas." I hum as I think about it, everyone looking at me expectantly.
"What about Morgan and Mama P, and Clint and Laura. But it would also be nice to spend time here. Sorry I don't mean to be indecisive." Iryna waves me off with a gentle smile.
"It's okay dear, like I said it was a very last minute invitation."
"Well how about we invite them." Oleg throws the idea out there. "I mean we can invite your family here on Boxing day and we could all do a second Christmas here. There is plenty of room for everyone and I am sure that Iryna, Laura and your mama P would bond splendidly over a bottle of wine and roast turkey."
"That's not a bad idea actually papa. What do you think dorogaya?" I bite my lip pretending to think about it but can't hide the smile that pulls at my lips.
"I think that is a wonderful idea."
"Yay." Wanda says in a childlike manner while clapping her hands together excitedly.
"And of course the girls are also invited Wanda." Wanda squeals with happiness at her mothers words, her hand holding mine squeezing it with joy.
"So Christmas at ours on boxing day." Oleg proclaims as everyone smiles at the idea.
"Will we get to see Morgan again?" Tommy questions and I nod my head with a smile that makes him buzz with excitement.
"She is so cool for a girl, I bet she would love to play with some of our action figures." Billy chimes in and it makes me smile how quickly they bonded over the very small interactions they may have had at thanksgiving.
"Okay so that is Christmas sorted, now shall we go back to watching some tv and movies as a family?" Iryna asks us all and the two sets of twins nod their heads eagerly and Wanda snuggles impossibly closer to me as she moves to have her legs resting on mine so we can share the blanket.
"Perfect. Here Y/n." Oleg holds up the tv remote and throws it my way. "You choose."
I catch the remote with ease, my eyes glancing around the room at the people surrounding me and I realise I have another family who have taken me in and accepted me for all my flaws and who I am. They've accepted that Wanda has chosen me to be in her life and have embraced that with open arms, after the mishap at thanksgiving. I look at the tv and start flicking through something to watch smiling as I very quickly land on something.
"Despicable me really. What are you, a child?" Pietro mocks and I roll my eyes.
"Don't pretend you don't want to watch it too. I saw you sit up more when I nearly scrolled past it."
"Pfft whatever." He crosses his arms but his eyes don't leave the screen as I hit play.
"Don't worry about pausing it but I am going to quickly make everyone some hot chocolate." Oleg says as he stands up, kissing his wife on her forehead, as he walks past us he stops leaning down to kiss Wanda on the forehead.
"That was delicious, thank you my love." I smile softly as Y/n's lips press gently to the top of my head.
"You welcome dorogaya."
I lift the now empty tray off the bed from in front of us, moving my body slightly to be able to put it on the bedside table next to me. Y/n's arms tighten around mine and she whines a little as I move away from her body. I chuckle as she leeches on mine, her body now slightly resting on mine as I place the tray down. Her body moves with mine as I sit back up.
"You feeling cuddly today, bug?" She hums, nodding her head, and I move my arm so my hand ends up in her hair and starts softly scratching her scalp.
"You're gonna turn me into a puddle if you keep doing that." She hums against me as her body sinks against mine even more.
"What would you like to watch cuddle bug?" She hums in thought as she slowly slides down into the bed, and I uncross my legs.
She takes that as an invitation to rest her head in my lap, her left arm wrapping around the top of my legs, her hand resting on my thigh and her right hand resting under my left thigh. Her left leg moves to rest over mine, her foot tucking under my calf, while her right leg stays laying next to mine. I smile down at her, allowing my hand to slide under her shirt to gently scratch the skin at the top of her spine, and the way she completely relaxes against me makes my smile grow.
"You never answered my question sweetcheeks." She chuckles at the random name, before turning her hand over that's resting on my thigh and making a grabby hand and I roll my eyes at her goofiness before passing her the remote.
"Have you ever watched Wynonna Earp?" I shake my head with a hum at her question, and I watch as her eyes grow wide with excitement. "Oh I can't wait to introduce you to it! It's so good! I can't believe you haven't watched it before!"
"Well I never really got time to watch new series or films between work, the boys, or being a housewife when I was home." I shrug as I look at the TV as I watch her scroll to find the programme.
"Well you will have plenty of time to binge watch things that you have been wanting to or ones people suggest." I look back at her, feeling my heart soften when my eyes meet her soft smile.
"And how do you suppose I do that? I still have a job and I still have the boys." I raise my brow, and her smile only grows as she puts the remote in my lap and takes my hand in hers.
"Well now you have me. I can look after the boys on weekends from time to time if you want some you time. Or because you know Tony and Pepper are family I can always ask them to give you some extra vacation time so you can have some much needed time to yourself."
"I can't ask you to do any of that." She tilts her head in question, her hand moving from mine to my cheek.
"Princess I love you. You are allowed time to yourself. You're allowed to take time away from the boys to be able to do whatever you want and need to do. You know that right?" I shrug my shoulders, biting my lip as my eyes move to look around the room.
"It's just been so long since I have even thought about giving myself time to be ... by myself. It's just difficult to allow it because every time I tried when I was with him, he would always say things like 'what kind of mother does it make you leave your kids because you're feeling selfish'."
"Said the man who would leave for weeks on end on what he would say was for business. Or when he would go to one of Tony's infamous parties and instead of inviting you along and getting a babysitter for the boys he would make you stay at home."
"It was just so normal you know that eventually you stop trying." Y/n uses her finger and thumb on my chin to tilt my head slightly until my eyes flick up to meet hers.
"Baby, you deserve a break. You deserve to be the one who goes away for themselves and has someone look after the boys knowing you won't have to worry. You also are someone who deserves to be on the arm of their partner at parties. I would show you off at every chance I got if I could, not because you're something to be shown off, but because I want you to be the person on my arm at parties and when I get to introduce you I'd say something like 'and this is my amazing wife Wanda'." I smile wide at her confession.
"Wife?" She hums as a look of confusion spreads across. "You said wife."
"Well you're going to my wife one day are you not?" I bite my lip as I feel a light blush grow on my cheeks.
"Wife, I like the ring on that." I giggle as I turn my head to look away from Y/n as I feel a blush grow on my cheeks.
"You're going all shy on me at the thought." I giggle as I lift a pillow up to hide my face.
"Shh." I blindly reach down to press my finger against her lip as I feel my face heat up.
"You're so cute." I bite my lip as I tilt my head down to look back at her, the flush on my cheeks growing as my eyes take in how much love I see in them, and her smile. Wow, her smile.
"You're beautiful." I whisper out between us and she leans up, easily closing the gap and presses a soft kiss to my lips.
"I love you." she mumbles against my lips and I give her a quick few pecks in reply.
"I love you too."
"Now you ready to watch Wynonna Earp?" I nod with a wide smile.
"Yes!" I watch with a fond smile as she settles back in my lap and my hands easily find their place in her hair and on her scalp. "Thank you dorogaya."
"What for my love?" She turns her head to look at me in question.
"Just making saying those sorts of things easy. And not making a huge deal out of it all. It kind of just felt like a normal conversation with some reassurance. It didn't feel forced and it also didn't turn into a big thing. So thank you for just being you. For being perfect." She brings my hand from her hair to her lips kissing the front and back of it.
"You're perfect, my love. And I'll always be here when you need me." I smile bashfully at her words.
"You know one of the things I love most about the way you are with people, with me, is that you listen to understand not to respond. You don't just listen to people and tell them what you think they want to hear. I admire that about you." I see a light blush spread across her cheeks and it makes my heart skip a beat that my words do so much for her.
"Thank you my love." She mumbles bashfully before turning to look at the TV and hitting play making me chuckle to myself at her shyness.
"Always dorogaya."
~~~~~
"Oh they're so gay." I blurt out as I see a cop appear on screen while Waverly gets sprayed by beer.
"And how, princess, would you know that?" She chuckles but continues to watch the scene on the screen.
"You can't look at this interaction and say they aren't fruity. I mean look at those eyes the cop is giving. So flirty." Y/n once again chuckles as the officer gives Waverly her name. "And her name is officer Haught! Come on. Those two are going to end up together."
"I'm not saying anything, just watch. And anyway how can you tell if they may or may not be fruity when you didn't know you were fruity yourself." My jaw drops and I give her side a poke.
"Hey I never said I didn't know I was fruity, I just got stuck in a loveless relationship with a man and got stuck." I shrug off with a laugh, but when I hear the TV pause I look down at Y/n who's already looking at me worried.
"Baby I didn't mean to, sorry I..." I chuckle, shaking my head and it makes her brows furrow and she decides to sit up next to me, moving my legs to lay flat over hers and her hand ends up at the base of my neck gently playing with my baby hairs there.
"No need to apologise baby. I was just saying while I was with vision it's not like I didn't look a woman's way and have my own fantasies you know. Or when I would see two girls in a bar kissing in the bathroom how I wouldn't wish I could be free from Vision and be able to explore that side of myself. And I never thought I would be able to describe mine and Vision's relationship so easily and in so few words without it hurting but here we are."
"So you've always known you're on the fruity side?" I hum in confirmation.
"Yeah I did. In highschool, before Vision, I always thought I was jealous of the really cute, and sometimes popular girls, who were with their boyfriends in the hallway having a small make out session before class. But it didn't take me long to realise that I was actually jealous of the boy for getting the girl, now don't get me wrong I was also jealous of the girls sometimes. And that confused me so much more. Being gay, when I was younger, was very much still frowned upon by a lot of people and you couldn't be so open with who you were. I was never brave enough to explore that side of myself. Never."
She kisses my cheek not saying anything as I think back to the memories of my past.
"And then Vision came along." I look at Y/n as I take in her reaction at the mention.
"You can talk about him. About the two of you." She reassures me with a kiss on my lips and I look back to the paused scene on TV not knowing where to look when I talk about it all.
"He was this nerdy kid who had somehow ended up at the jock table. I think he was helping them with his homework and they had just taken him under their wing and he was really in with them, like they were his protectors. And we caught each other's eyes at lunch one time and it became like a cat and mouse game. His group of jocks would nudge him and pester him until he came over to me at lunch and he would ask to meet after school and I would say I would be in the library most days if he ever wanted to hang out. I was still rather new to the country and I had only really just got out of the box of being the new foreign girl."
I sigh as I look at Y/n who is already looking at me, or maybe she never took her attention away from me even though mine was fluttering around the room.
"I thought it was some kind of prank at first so I really did try to avoid it all thinking it would come to bite me in the ass. Which I guess it did in our future. But yeah one day I was being tormented by one of the popular girls, something about my style and my brown hair being frizzy, anyway Vision came along and told her to leave me alone and that if he ever saw her or her goonies. Yeah that's the word he used. If they were to threaten or bully me again he would spread something that her boyfriend gave him."
I rub my brows as I look back around the room, replacing more as her other hand joins with mine in our laps.
"At the time I thought wow this boy really cares for me, and I think he did but I also missed the manipulation part of the whole ordeal. I think I just ignored it because no one apart from Pietro had really protected me, but when I really thought about it I think he had a revealing picture of her. What sort of person keeps a photo of a girl from their friend, also what type of boyfriend sends that sort of picture to their friends."
"An awful sort of person." I chuckle as she mumbles an apology at her quick reaction.
"No, you're right. Anyway, when she left I asked if he was up for a date outside of the library and he very easily agreed to take me to the movies, watch whatever I want and he would pay for it all. He was such a gentleman at the beginning, the dates, the holding my hand in the hallway at school, the small gifts he would bring to me randomly. I really liked him, and he really liked me. And when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so happy. Then the I love yous came. It was all just perfect. Too perfect."
I look back at Y/n, swallowing the lump of emotion I feel building in my throat talking about it all but Y/n's reassuring smiles and loving eyes allow me to continue the last little bit.
"The manipulation, the abuse, didn't start straight away but it was always there. I would want to go out with my friends that I had managed to make in the last year or so of highschool and he always seemed to have a choice of what I would wear or how I would do my makeup. Or he would somehow convince me to stay in with him rather than going to the movies, or shopping. I should have left him when it all started but I was young and in love and I didn't want that feeling of love to end. So I did everything he asked, and changed the way I looked and who I was as a whole. All of it. I mean he couldn't stop the goth phase, but I don't think anyone could. And then I fell pregnant and I just stayed. Trapped. For them. I thought it would make things better, but as we know it didn't."
I rest my forehead against her and her hands move to cup my cheeks, her thumb rubbing away the tears I didn't know had fallen.
"I don't regret the boys. I don't regret having them and watching them grow. But I regret the relationship I had with him. I regret not leaving him when it all started. I regret not asking my parents for help when they noticed the way the relationship was. I regret a lot of things when it comes to him." I brush my nose against hers as I let out a shaky breath. "But I do not regret that it led to greater things, eventually. That I finally met you. The woman I love."
I peck her lips a few times.
"I really do love you." She smiles against my lips as she kisses them softly.
"As I love you." I lean back a little to great a little space bringing my left hand up between us and her hand easily goes to hold onto it.
"But I would really like a ring." She laughs at that, like full belly laughs and I smile wider at the sound, my heart skipping a beat at how much I love the woman in front of me.
"And you shall get your ring." I feel so much love blossom in my heart when I hear the admission.
"Yeah?" She smiles with a hum and I feel fresh tears pool in my eyes with happiness.
"You will have a ring on your finger, you will be my wife, my love." I press my lips together before taking in a sharp breath.
"Your wife." She nods as she kisses me softly once more before whispering against my lip.
I walk back into my room, after cleaning myself up, to see Y/n sitting on the edge of the bed on her phone, her leg bouncing slightly. Her bottom lip stuck between her teeth as her thumb slowly traces over the screen. I feel my heart clench when I see the unshed tears in the corner of her eyes. I let her continue in her moment as I make my way to my dresser to get some sweatpants and a shirt on as I forgot to take clothes with me to the shower so I am currently wrapped in a towel.
I cringe when the draw makes a nasty scraping noise as I open it, hearing the way Y/n sniffles. I look back at her with an apologetic smile for having broken her out of her moment, to see her using the back of her hand to wipe away a few tears that have fallen. I grab what I need from the draw before making my way over to the bed, placing the clothes next to Y/n. I don't say anything as Y/n takes my hand in hers, putting her phone besides her, looking up at me to give me her attention.
I continue to stay silent, deciding to start getting changed. Or at least try with one of my hands in Y/n's. I squeeze her hand to gain her attention, and she squeezes it back to let me know I have it.
"Is it okay if I get changed?" I ask, breaking the silence. Y/n smiles up and me nodding in reply, going to drop my hand but I squeeze mine tighter around hers to keep them together. "Don't you dare think you have to let go. I'm right here."
She nods slowly, fresh tears building in her eyes as she pulls my hand up to kiss the back of it. I run my thumb over hers as I use my other hand to unwrap my towel, allowing it to drop to the floor. I hide a smirk as I watch Y/n's eyes take my naked form in. I grab the sweatpants first, bending over slightly so my arm can lower enough to get my legs in the leg holes. I press my lips together as Y/n's tongue pokes out slightly to wet her lips as her eyes dart to my boobs that are now kind of swinging in front of her face with how I am bent over.
She swallows down whatever she is feeling her eyes now moving to look at mine. I get lost in the way they seem to sparkle as her eyes meet mine, getting lost in the swirls of colors her eyes contain. The heterochromia she has, I don't know there is just something about it that gets me swooning for her more. I could get lost in her eyes forever. I come back down to reality when I feel her squeeze my hand, only noticing she is holding up my shirt for me with her other.
I take it with a smile, frowning when I feel her hand leaves mine but she simply smiles at me standing up as she bunches the shirt up in her hands.
"Arms up." I ignore the way her voice cracks but don't mention it but instead do as she says lifting my arms above my head.
Our eyes don't leave each others as she puts my shirt on me, her knuckles gently caressing my sides as she slowly unrolls my shirt. I raise my brow as her thumb traces under my left boob for a second before she continues to pull my shirt on me. Once my shirt is on her hand lands back in mine, and I can't help the soft smile that I feel grow on my face and only smile more when Y/n gives me a matching one.
"I'm going to go speak to some other humans then I'll be back." I unfortunately break our silence, but I feel like I should let her know.
"Okay my love." She doesn't make a move to let go of my hand though, instead sits down back on the bed.
I bite my lip, my eyes looking down to our joined hands as she gives mine one more gentle squeeze before reluctantly letting it go. I can't help that when our eyes meet I lean down to leave a soft kiss on her lips, smiling into it when her eyes flutter shut letting out a small hum. After a few soft pecks I press a kiss between her slightly scrunched brows, a smile tugging its way onto my lips when I feel her relax more.
"I'll be back okay. You get yourself comfy, do what you got to do, maybe try and sleep a bit more. You always look beautiful but you look tired baby." I say just above a whisper as my fingers run over the light bags that are starting to show below her eyes.
"Sleep sounds good." She mumbles as she closes her eyes.
"Okay, you do that and I'll get things sorted for us and I'll be back as soon as I can." She hums, her hands coming to rest on my wrists as I move my hands down to cup her cheeks.
"No rush wands, take your time. Spend some time with your family. I'll be okay by myself for a while." I squint my eyes at her as her eyes slowly open to meet mine, her brows scrunching at the look I am giving her.
"Do you need to be alone for a while or do you need someone here?" She goes to reply but I quickly push my finger against her lips, pressing soft pecks to her eyebrows until they relax. "And before you answer I want the truth. Don't say you want to be alone if it's not what you need. So my love what do you need right now?"
"You." I barely hear it as she swallows her emotions slightly; she drops her hands into her lap, playing with her fingers as she looks down at them. "I need you here, but I also want you to get to spend time with your family. I don't want to take you away from them."
"Baby if you need me then I am here. I do have to go to speak to them, just so they know to leave you alone for a while. And I gotta make us breakfast and coffee, but then I am all yours. You aren't taking me away from them or vice versa, they are family so they will understand you need time but you also need me. And if they don't understand I will make them understand. Okay."
She nods, biting her lip. I sigh as I can see the cogs in her brain turning in her mind and I bend down so she can see me even if she is looking down at her lap, I move my hand to rest on her knees.
"Baby are you going to be okay by yourself, while I go get things sorted downstairs or do you need me to stay. I can always text my mother to get her to bring food up." She shakes her head, her hands coming to rest on top of mine.
"No I'll be okay. Can I - uhm - Can I have a shower and that while you're downstairs?" I smile softly, moving one of my hands towards her face using my finger and thumb under her chin to tilt her head so I can look at her as we talk.
"Of course you can, baby. Shower is to the left at the end of the hallway. I know you probably didn't plan to stay last night so if you didn't bring any spare clothes I can get Pietro to leave some of his comfy clothes on the bed while you shower."
"Yeah I was only really invited to dinner to be fair, not that I feel I have outstayed my welcome but like you said I also didn't plan to stay the night." She chuckles, a small smile growing on my face as I see her smile pull at the corner of her lips.
"Okay, well you go shower. I'll get Pietro to drop off some clothes while you are in the shower, I'll make us some breakfast and coffee after speaking to my parents and possibly the twins: if I can find them. You'll probably be back in bed before I get done with my tasks but I will do my best not to take too long okay."
"So I clean myself up a bit. You tell them I'm a messy mess, then you're all mine?" I smile at the softness of her voice.
"Hmm but you're my beautiful mess and I wouldn't change that for anything this world has to offer. But yes after I talk to them I am all yours." She leans forward to rest her forehead against mine.
"I know we keep saying this but I don't know how else to express what I feel for you in moments like this. I just, I love you so much princess." I feel my heart practically jump out of my chest at the way she says it with such conviction.
"I love you to dorogaya." I press a soft kiss to her lips before speaking against them. "I'll be back."
"M'kay." She smiles wide as she flops back onto the bed, her arms spread out as her hair messily surrounds her head and I can't not think about how cute she is and my heart feels like it grows 5 times in size at the amount of love for this woman.
I manage to pull myself out of my thoughts before she catches me staring at her like a loved up creep ... who am I kidding I am a loved up creep when it comes to her. I make my way out of the room, leaving her sprawled on the bed, closing the door behind me and leaning my back against it. I take a few calming breaths allowing my body to calm down after everything that just happened in the last 30 minutes.
I try not to let the tiny voices in the back of my mind take over about the fact that her sudden change in demeanour was my fault. I shouldn't have mentioned that it had been a while or anything along those lines. I should have just let myself get lost in the moment. Me and my stupid mouth. I'm not upset because she stopped what was happening, I never would be. Never. I think I am upset because I feel like I ruined a really good moment, and made her feel some type of way that made her need to stop.
"What you doing looking sorry for yourself?" I huff out a small laugh at my brothers voice, holding a finger to my lips miming for him to shush as I motion towards the door as I finally step away from it. "Oh, sorry.. Don't want lover girl to know your pouting outside the room."
"Something like that." I give Pietro a small smile, my eyes darting to the door before giving him my full attention. "Can you do me a favour?"
"Depends on the favour." He gives me his cheeky smile that makes me roll my eyes.
"Y/n is gonna have a shower, and she didn't really plan on spending the night so could you grab her some of your comfy clothes and put them on my bed once she starts to shower. Please?"
"Of course I can sis, but only if you tell me something first." I don't like the cheeky look he has on his face and I roll my eyes as I motion for him to continue. "So has your virgin bed been broken in?"
"Pietro!" I whisper shout as I hit his arm, and when he turns to escape it I hit his back.
"Okay first that's got to be some sibling abuse thing or something because ow." He says trying to look mad but can't hide his smile. "Secondly answer the question and I'll give your lover girl the best of the best when it comes to comfy clothes."
"I..." I feel my face warm under his stare and raising his brows upside down.
"You?" He drags out the word making me huff.
"No, nothing happened. Now get my girlfriend some comfy clothes and don't ever ask me that again." I smack his arm with the back of my hand as I walk past and he raises his hand in surrender.
"Someone's grumpy they didn't get their morning fun." I hear him grumble under his breath and I send him a glare over my shoulder that makes him shrink slightly. "Sorry, I'll just go get the clothes, yup that's what I'll do."
I huff as he scampers to his room and I turn to finally start making my way downstairs. I rub at my brows thinking of what to tell them and not what to tell them. I don't want to lie to them and come up with a stupid excuse like she is tired so I'm hanging upstairs with her today. But I also don't know how much information I should tell them, well I don't even know much information so there is no information to give.
Wanda you're giving yourself a headache with all this overthinking and your thoughts aren't making sense.
I rub my finger against my temple as I feel a small headache brewing at the running thoughts. I stop at the base of the stairs running my hands over my face as I compose myself before going into the kitchen where I can hear my parents talking. I take a deep breath in before releasing it slowly. I plaster on a smile, just in case the twins are with their grandparents, and head into the kitchen.
"Good morning sweetheart." My mom greets me as she leans against the counter with her mug to her lips.
"Would you like some coffee Wands?" I hum out a yes to my dads questioning, my eyes looking around for the twins before I let whatever false act they're seeing drop when I don't see them..
"Oh Wanda, darling what's wrong." My mother instantly notices the change in my demeanour, placing her coffee down on the counter and making her way over to me.
"Nothing really." I smile as my mothers hands cup my cheeks softly. "I just came down to make myself and Y/n some coffee and breakfast. Last night was sort of a lot for her and she just needs a quiet morning, so we are going to stay in my room for a little while."
"But you're okay?" She asks me in that motherly tone that makes me chuckle softly when I realise what I must sound like to the boys.
"I'm okay mama." Her thumb rubs my cheek as she gives me that motherly smile.
"I meant both of you, but good to know my daughter is good."
"Oh." I chuckle as I feel my heart warm at the fact my mother cares about her, about us, about our relationship. "We are good mama. Just need to relax, we need to talk. She needs to recoup before doing the whole people thing. She wants to come down at some point, show her face and be sociable."
"She doesn't have to come down if she doesn't feel like it, she knows that right?" My father states as he takes a drink from his mug as my mother taps my cheek gently before going back to get her coffee.
"She knows but she is persistent when it comes to making a good impression." I sigh as I head to the cupboard where the pancake mix is.
"Well, her needing time doesn't give a bad impression." My father states and I just continue to make pancakes as my dad continues to talk. "We talked about a lot last night and her mind probably just needs a minute to go over everything. I mean we didn't get too deep, but she opened up which I didn't truly expect her to do. Tell her that we understand if she wants to be up there all day."
"Thank you papa. I have already told her but she is stubborn when it comes to pleasing people, so I can do my best to convince her to just do what she needs to do today but you two should expect to see her."
"I shall go speak with her." My mother says with determination and I quickly step backwards from the stove to block her path, and I try not to cower under her tilted head and raised brow.
"No you won't." I say with a stern voice that I have only used on her a few times in my life and each time I shit bricks when I do: including now.
"Ooo." My dad not so quietly says as he watches what is about to happen and when my mother gives him a glare he looks away from her taking a sip of his coffee.
"Dad, could you keep an eye on the pancakes please?" I ask as I step away from the stove completely to face my mother fully.
"Of course." He rushes behind me with his full concentration now on the food so he doesn't have to face the look on my mothers face right now.
"So you don't want me to talk to your girlfriend so she knows we understand if she doesn't want to come down to see us."
"Yes. You won't go up there until I allow it because she is not in a good headspace right now, and although I love that you want her to know you won't hold it against her it's not going to help." My mother hums as she crosses her arms, her eyes sizing me up, and I swallow the ball of anxiety I feel as she does so.
"She seemed okay last night, what happened to her to be bad today? It's such a sudden change. I just wanted to go and talk to her, help her." I feel myself snap my eyes to my mothers, my glare solidifying as I feel my protectiveness for my love grow beyond what it was already.
"No." My mother raises her brow at my tone.
"No?"
"Yes you heard me. No. I appreciate you wanting to look out for her, I truly do. But right now she doesn't need visitors. And I won't allow the fact that you're my mother and I should do as I am told as your daughter let me force my hand and say go ahead and talk to her. I've already said she isn't in the headspace for people. I have already said that she needs time. So no mama, you don't get to barge in there and try to fix a problem that isn't yours to fix. Not that Y/n having an off day is a problem but you know what I mean. I am going to take the coffee and the pancakes that papa is now making, I am going to spend time with her, I am going to look after her and you are going to stay down here and wait."
"Okay." My defensive stance relaxes at her sudden words and now I'm just standing there with my mouth opening and closing as I try and think of something to say.
"Wait what? You ... Okay?" My mother chuckles softly, confusing me more, her hands moving to rub up and down mine as they relax by my side.
"Yes okay. I'll leave her be. I was just testing you." I scrunch my brows together and my mother smiles amusedly at me.
"Testing me?" I am so confused right now.
"Yes sweetheart. I just wanted to make sure things were actually okay. I hate to bring it up, but when Vision used to have these kind of off, bad headspace days you would struggle to defend him. Struggling to say what was happening, you would struggle to string a sentence together that would make sense. It was like you were pulling excuses out of your ass for him. From what we ever saw of him, we gauged that he was the sort of person to say he was having a day even if he wasn't because he just wanted to keep his hold on you. But when with Y/n you came to her protection like, you said every word with conviction that I believe you this time."
"Oh I never knew you guys thought that." I look down at my hands as I fiddle with my fingers. "I mean you aren't wrong about him, I just got pulled into his trap each time and I always felt like I had to make excuses for him because I didn't want to disappoint you when we had to pull out of family things because Vision didn't want to go."
"I never liked him for you Wanda." My dad says out of nowhere, and me and my mother look at him as he plates up the pancakes and puts them on the counter before turning off the stove and looking at the both of us. "What? I didn't."
"Papa, you literally walked me down the aisle."
"Because you were so happy to get married. It was something you wanted and I did try to talk you out of it but you weren't having it and you said to me if I remember correctly. Papa just for once will you please not fight me on this, I want this and I am happy and I would be even happier if you would walk me down that aisle." He chuckles, shaking his head at the memory. "We always fought about Vision whenever he came over when you started dating him, then I thought I'd leave it and you would learn something from it. I never thought it would go so far."
"And I definitely learnt my lesson." I mumble and my dad lovingly grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze.
"What does that mean?" I swallow, shaking my head at my mothers question.
"Nothing. Just that papa was right. I mean look at how it ended. With a big messy divorce."
"But look what you have now." My dad moves to stand next to my mother and I bite my lip at the thought of the girl upstairs.
"Oh Wanda my beautiful daughter you look so in love." My mothers says softly and I feel my cheeks heat up with a small blush.
"I really do love her." I whisper as I bite my lip as my heart leaps from my chest at how much love I feel for Y/n.
"Then go be with her." My mum says simply and my dad lets go of my hands as he collects the two coffee mugs, putting them on a tray and adding the two plates to it.
"Your mother is right. Go be with her. We will be okay down here." My dad holds the tray up which I easily take from him.
"Mama, Papa." They both hum at their whispered names. "Thank you."
"You don't need to thank us sweetheart." My mother coos as she takes my fathers hand in hers.
"But I do. You have supported me my whole life, through my divorce and now this." They both tilt their heads in question.
"What do you mean now this?" I huff out a chuckle as I look up at the ceiling then back at them.
"I mean being with a woman." I feel my cheeks heat up at the words as both my parents chuckle as they look at each other then to me. "It was just so out of the blue after being with Vision for so many years. You guys kind of just surprised me with how accepting you were with the whole thing."
"You didn't think we would accept you for being with a woman." I shrug a little trying my best not to spill the coffee on the tray.
"Oh sweetheart. We love you for you, it doesn't matter who you are with or what you choose to do with your life. Divorce Vision, be a single mother, marry the girl that's upstairs. Whatever way you decide to take your life we will be here to support you." My mothers words make me suck in a harsh breath as I try to keep my emotions contained.
"Unless you become a serial killer then there may be another discussion to be had." We all laugh at my dads words as the both of them place a hand on my shoulders.
"Now go be with her, we will look after the 3 children for the day." I nod whispering out a thank you as I turn around to make my way out of the kitchen and finally back to my love.
"Wanda, your wife is coming onto me!" I hear Pietro shout as I am halfway up the stairs.
"Dude you're missing a few things for me to want to come onto you." I hear Y/n laugh and I smile to myself at the sound of it.
"You're naked and taller than me and it's intimidating." Pietro's words make me scrunch my brows and when I finally reach the top of the stairs I see what is happening.
"I am not naked. I am in a towel. And your observation skills are on point to notice I am taller." I laugh at their interaction as I see my love wrapped in two towels to protect her decency, leaning on my door frame while Pietro stands in the middle of the hallway wobbling on his crutches.
"So should I leave you two to get a room, or can I interrupt this moment."
"Ugh please interrupt this moment." Pietro groans. "I was dropping clothes off for your girlfriend here and when I turned around she just sauntered in the room with her towel and the memory is going to be burned into my brain forever."
"What image? I am in a towel you saw nothing." Y/n chuckles with a raised brow as I make my way next to her tilting my head at my brother.
"I saw your legs and the sway of your hips and that's enough to intimidate any man when the person with those legs and hips is a fucking giant." Me and Y/n both look at each other then to her brother who scrunches his eyes closed shaking his head.
"You do have very nice legs baby." I bite my lip as I look up to Y/n but break into a laugh when I hear my brother groan in embarrassment.
"Dude, take a chill pill. You saw nothing, I thank you for the compliment but I am going to get changed." With that Y/n disappears into the room, leaving the door slightly ajar for me to be able to get in, and I can't help but worry about her. She didn't want to see people."
"You okay there broski?" Pietro nods his head with a huff.
"Yeah, I am all good here sis. Just didn't expect to see that much of your girlfriend." I hum as I slowly back into my room.
"Well I think you now need to get a girlfriend of your own so you can stop thinking about mine." Before he can reply I shut the door with my foot and pace the tray of breakfast and coffee on the bed before going back to lock the door. "You okay dorogaya."
"I'm okay princess." She turns to look at me as she pulls her shirt on and my eyes naturally drop to her boobs before flicking to her eyes when her shirt covers them.
"Are you ready for food and coffee?" I change the subject not wanting to push her, knowing she will come out with how she is feeling when she has it somewhat figured out in her head.
"Pancakes?" She smiles excitedly and she looks down to the tray making her way over to me.
"Mhmm, lots of pancakes." I hum when I feel her arms wrap around my body pulling me against her and my arms wrap around her instinctively.
"Thank you my love." Her voice is so soft and full of love my heart rate increases ever so slightly and I give her a gentle squeeze.
"Anything for you dorogaya." I rest my chin on her sternum as I look up at her, and she leans down to press a soft kiss to my forehead.
"Pancakes, coffee and binge watching TV in bed?" I lean back in her arms to look up at her properly.
"Anything you want to do. Today is a Y/n day, so you tell me what you need and I'll do my best to help in any way I can." I move away from her slightly so I can lean down and grab both our mugs passing Y/n's off to her. "You want to watch criminal minds?"
"Uh, yeah I do actually. How'd you know?" I smile softly at her while taking a sip of my coffee.
"You're my girlfriend I am going to know what your comfort show is. And I have never had time to watch it so it will be nice to watch it for the first time with you."
She gasps at the information I have revealed before she scurries to the bedside table, puts her mug down and scurries back to where I am standing. I watch amused as she lifts the tray up and clambers over the bed on her knees. She rests her back on the headboard as she kicks the covers away so she can sit criss-cross applesauce with the tray on her lap. She pats the space next to her as she looks up at me with puppy eyes.
"Join me."
"I could never say no to that face." She smiles bashfully at me as she tilts her head down to hide her blush and picks up a piece of pancake instead of saying anything.
I climb in bed next to her pulling the covers up. She lifts the tray without needing to be asked so I can pull the covers over our legs before she places it down on top of the cover in front of our legs. She shuffles closer to me, moving her body slightly so she can rest her head on my shoulder. Her hand moves under the covers to rest innocently on my thigh. I reach my arm out to the bedside table next to me grabbing the TV remote to find criminal minds.
"Thank you baby." Her voice sounds so vulnerable it stops me from hitting play on season one momentarily. I place my coffee carefully on the tray in front of us, moving my now free hand to hers on my thighs.
"Although you don't need to thank me, the sentiment of the words are appreciated and you are always welcome baby. I will do anything for you. Always."
"Always?" I turn my head to kiss the top of hers that's on my shoulder.
Warings: Almost smut, panic/anxiety, small bit of angst and fluff.
Word Count: 2949
Series List | Chapter 135 | Chapter 137
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One of the best feelings in the world is waking up in bed with the one you want by your side forever to be sleeping next you. The feeling of their warmth gently enveloping you while both of you stay in your own bubble under the covers. The way in which their body melds to yours, perfectly made to fit against one another in the easiest of ways. The way in which you can feel at their most relaxed, no woes, no worries, no weight of the world on their shoulders.
It may only be temporary but it is the escape everyone looks for. And to be able to have the trust of a person to allow them to sleep next to you when they are at their most relaxed, their most vulnerable, the most free ... well it's a great privilege to be allowed to do so.
And it is where I am right now. My eyes are still closed trying to bask in the last of my relaxed state, as I continue to allow Wanda to continue sleeping and enjoying the peace that surrounds her.
I'm laying on my back, Wanda's torso practically on top of mine as one of her legs lays over mine; her foot tucked under my knee, while her other leg lays next to my left one. Her left arm is laying across my torso, her hand coming to rest on my right collarbone, her right arm is curled slightly under my body, her hand resting on my shoulder blade. Her hair is splayed all over the front of my torso as her head rests just below my boob, her soft breath tickling my skin with every breath she takes.
I love this moment, being able to bask in the skin on skin contact as we both went topless last night: both of us finding it more comfortable to sleep. It's felt like forever since we have been able to share a quiet morning like this. Just the two of us in a moment, even if I am the only one awake to enjoy it, in our own bubble no one can interrupt or ruin.
I finally let my eyes flutter open, titling my head to look at Wanda in her most peaceful state. I tighten my arms that are already loosely wrapped around her body, smiling to myself as she grumbles in her sleep, her arms moving to wrap the best they can around my body more. She lets out a sigh of a breath as her body practically sinks into mine as she relaxes once again.
I look over at the clock on the bedside table that reads 9.17am, letting out a long breath as I look back to Wanda and I feel my smile grow at the sight of her. I just can't help it. She is so beautiful and it's like an automatic reaction whenever I see her. I wish I could stay in this moment forever but I know that there are going to be people waiting downstairs on us soon if they aren't already.
I let my fingers start to wonder over her back, my finger tips ever so gently skimming the surface of her skin. I watch as I see goosebumps appear, following the path my fingers take, as I go up to the top of her spine and slowly all the way back down. I move my left hand to the very base of her back, laying my hand flat and simply drawing small circles with my pointer finger. My other hand I slowly move back up her spine, my finger meticulously following the bumps and path of the bone until I reach her neck.
My movements still as Wanda moves in her sleep. Her leg that is wrapped around mine tightening its hold on me as her arm that is laying over my torso tightens also, her body moves on top of mine a little more, her head coming to rest on my shoulder, her face buried in my neck. I hold my breath and stay still as she seems to settle back down, her soft breath tickling my neck, her lips slap together a few times, not waking from her sleep as she once again relaxes.
I keep my hands where they are, one at the base of her neck and the other at the base of her back. But I can't help but go back to drawing circles with my finger at the base of her spine. As I feel her body sink against mine more, if that's even possible, my fingers on her neck start to gently rub at her skin. Not quite scratching with my nails, but just gently rubbing the tips of my fingers against her skin.
I have truly missed this.
"Hmm." I still my movements as Wanda makes a noise in her sleep and her hand that's now on my side, where her arm is laying across my body, starts to gently trace a small circle on my side.
All thoughts about questioning whether she is awake or not fly from my mind when I feel her lips press against the space just below my ear. I close my eyes at the feeling, pressing my lips together as her lips ghost the skin of my neck in between leaving kisses in a small trail down my neck then back up to just below my ear.
I let out a shaky breath as her hand trails up my side, across my collarbone and up to my jaw. Her fingers leave a trail of goosebumps. Her finger and thumb wrap around my jaw and my chin slowly moves my head so that I'm looking towards her, but she isn't looking at me. Her face is still buried in my neck. Just as I go to say something she sucks on the space just below my ear and I can't stop the gasp that escapes me as my hand tightens its grip on her neck.
She finally stops attacking me with her lips, I am sure she has left a mark, and looks at me with darkened eyes. We just look at each other for a moment, no words being said, before we both lean in. Her soft lips press against mine. My hand moves from the back of her neck to the back of her head, my fingers tangling in her hair as I pull her closer to me.
The kiss heats up quickly. I lick Wanda's bottom lip and she immediately opens her mouth to let my tongue explore. I suck on her tongue and she lets out a moan, her grip on my jaw tightening. Her other hand soon joins her other on my jaw as she pulls away for some air. Both of us panting slightly from the lack of air. Our eyes looking into each other's dark ones.
She rests her forehead against mine, our lips gently brushing against each other as I feel her legs move so they are either side of mine, her knees pressed against my hips. My eyes dart down to her lips as she clicks her bottom lip, before I look back to her eyes. As soon as they meet hers I don't - can't - wait another second before tilting my head up slightly and reconnecting our lips.
This kiss is just as intense as the last, if not more. In one swift motion I use my hand in her hair to pull her head back, keeping our lips together, as the hand on her back keeps her against me as I sit us both up. I once again use my hand in her hair to tilt her head back, smiling when I receive a moan in reward for the action, Wanda's mouth hangs open small moans and sighs coming from her as i trail my lips down her neck with an eagerness I haven't felt in a long while.
"Baby." Wanda moans out quietly as her hands move from my jaw to the back of my neck for something to hold on, as she tilts her head back more to give me more skin to work with.
I slide my hand that is at the base of her back under her sleep shorts down to her ass giving one of her cheeks a squeeze and her back arches in response, her hips pressing down into my body as the grip she has on the back of my neck tightens slightly.
"Baby." Wanda sighs that turns into a moan before I move my hand to the other cheek giving that a squeeze as I smile against her skin. "Dorogaya."
"Hmm." I stop my attack on her neck to give her shoulder a few gentle pecks before lifting my head to look back at her. "Sorry, I just got carried away."
"No, don't apologise." She smiles softly at me, shaking her head before bringing both her hands to cup my cheeks. "I am more okay with what might happen but I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it and weren't doing it because you think it's something you have to do."
I bite my lip trying to hide the smile that wants to grow but can't help the breathy chuckle that gets past my lips as I rest my forehead against Wanda's. I brush my nose against hers as I close my eyes for a moment as I let the feelings in me calm so I can give Wanda a straight answer. I hum as I press a few soft kisses to her lips.
"I'm not doing this because I think I need to." Wanda bites her lip, moving my lips next to her ear so I can whisper to her, squeezing her ass as I do. "I'm doing it because I want to. Because I want you."
"Then take me." She says in a sultry tone against my ear before taking the lobe between her teeth and gently pulling down on it. "Please baby, I need you."
I press a kiss under her ear as the hand that is on her ass slowly slides around her thigh to her core. I cup it with my hand moaning in her ear at the wetness that has already built up, And Wanda's forehead comes to rest on my shoulder as her whole body shudders at the feeling of my hand against her. I take my middle and ring finger running them between her folds. I run my fingers down to her entrance, circling around it and smiling to myself when Wanda's hips buck to try and get me to enter her but I continue my teasing.
I run my fingers over her entrance and back up through her folds, Wanda moaning my name as a plea, moving up to where I can feel her clit pulsing for attention. I use my middle finger to roll the sensitive bud in small tight circles that get her nails scratching at the back of my neck. She bites into my shoulder when I give her clit a gentle pinch, trying to hide her moans, her hands moving to my shoulders blades and her nails instinctively dig in. I hiss in slight pain at the action but I don't falter my movements against her clit.
"Baby, fuck, don't stop." Wanda pants as her hips start to roll against me, making it slightly harder to keep my attention on her clit but I don't dare stop her when she seems to be losing herself to the pleasure.
"You're going to cum just from this, huh princess? I've barely touched you, haven't even got to feel you properly. Haven't got to feel your walls squeezing my fingers, haven't got to taste you and here you are moaning and shaking in my arms. All from a little bit of touching."
"I...fuck." Wanda swallows harshly as I move my fingers back down to trace her entrance. "I've missed you. I haven't felt this good in so long. You always make me feel so good."
"I'm happy to be able to make you feel so good." I can hear it in my voice - the sudden shakiness - and a sudden drop in my gut but I fight off the feelings of fighting the ones that are so good right now but my movements stop for a moment too long.
I try to shake the feeling, moving my fingers back up to her clit, but not with the same determination as before, keeping my movements slow to help keep her high that's building up. I move my other hand from her hair to her chest, trying to stop the nervousness of my shaky hand as I draw a line down from her collarbone to her sternum. I take a moment to try and get back into the feeling of having her this close but I know I fail when my finger stays stilled.
And Wanda notices the change in pace all too quickly.
"Mhmm baby wait." Her hand moves down to my wrist stopping my movements, and I rest my forehead against her shoulder as she sits up so she can look at me. "Baby hey look at me for a second."
I shake my head a little trying to bury it into her shoulder as much as I can to avoid looking at her. She kisses the side of my head as she gently pulls my hand from her shorts and wipes my fingers off on them. She then grabs my other hand and brings them both between us, hers gently squeezing mine.
"Dorogaya, it's okay. Please just look at me." I bite my lip as her soft voice coaxes me from my hiding place, and I turn my head in its place so I can see her. "There you are."
"I'm sorry." She smiles softly, shaking her head. "I thought I was ready and I promise I really did want it when we started, I just ... I don't know what happened. I want to make you feel good, I do, I don't know what happened."
"It's okay my love. It's okay to change your mind. You've done nothing wrong. I shouldn't have mentioned what I did in the middle of it, but you've done nothing wrong."
"Neither have you. I felt so good but then I just couldn't commit. And I feel bad because I know you were feeling so good." She moves one of her hands to cup my jaw gently lifting my head and bringing her lips to mine in a soft kiss.
"You've done nothing wrong okay. Baby I love you, and I'm not mad or upset so don't apologise. These things happen and it's okay."
"I love you too." I rest my forehead against hers, closing my eyes with a small sigh. "I'm so..."
"Ah no, no apologising." She says after giving my lips a quick peck to stop me from saying sorry again.
"Can I just hold you for a while?" Wanda gives me a beaming smile and I feel my heart skip a beat at the sight.
"You don't ever have to ask, but let me get myself cleaned up first then we can cuddle for as long as you need." I bite my lip to stop it wobbling at the amount of emotion I'm feeling from her care and understanding.
"I don't want to make you parents wait on us as It's already nearly 10 but I don't feel like people today as well."
"Well why don't I get myself cleaned up, then I'll head downstairs to grab us some coffee and a bit of breakfast. I'll let them know that you aren't feeling great today and you just need a bit longer to yourself. They'll understand." I press my lips together as I press my face into Wanda's neck.
"Can you apologise to them for me? You know for being such a mess." Wanda kisses her teeth, leaning back before both her hands cup my jaws tilting my head so I am looking at her.
"What have I said about apologising for your feelings? And no I won't." When I go to protest she pushes her finger against my lips to stop me. "No I won't because you don't need to apologise for having a bad day. I will let them know yesterday was a lot and your brain mind needs a little extra recoup time, they are going to understand. They'll give you the space you need. We all will."
I wrap my arms around her torso pulling us into a tight hug, leaving a soft kiss on the side of her neck as I bask in the moment.
"I don't want space from you. I need you here. Let them know I'll show my face but just need some time."
"Okay dorogaya, I can do that." She breaks the hug so we are looking at each other. "You'll be good here for a while, while I get cleaned up and talk to them?"
"I'll be okay. I'll lay back down and scroll through tik tok or something." She chuckles at that and I smile at the sound.
"There's my beautiful girl." I smile more with a small blush at her complement. "So beautiful."
"So are you princess." She brushes her nose against mine, pecking my lips before whispering against them. "Get yourself settled and I'll be back when I can."
"Okay." She slowly climbs off of me and the bed but I quickly grab her hand stopping her from moving further and when she looks at me questioningly I simply smile up at her and squeeze her hand. "I love you Wanda. Truly and wholly love you."
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My eyes are stuck on watching the fire. The way in which it is slowly turning the logs that feed it black and grey, slowly crumbling away to ash, the logs themselves popping when the heat expands enough inside to make the pockets of steam burst from the wood. The way the bottom of the flame holds fast in its position, barely moving but ever growing.
A vast contrast to the peak of the flame which dances in the night air, reaching out to lick at as much of the oxygen pure air as possible. The vibrant colours change as the flame gets hotter and hotter from base to tip. Some flames even seem to separate from the main body of the fire as they do a small dance of their own before disappearing in front of our eyes.
The heat from the fire is amazing, the way it easily fights back the cold of the fresh night, with being able to sit a few feet away from it and still be able to enjoy it. The way the fire is roaring in the fire pit, producing heat with barely any smoke has me in a small trance as I let the world around me disappear for a moment. All of my senses solely trained on the fire in front of me.
The vivid colours of the fire.
The snap, crackle and pop of the wood.
The warmth it is producing.
The smell of the oak logs burning slowly.
The taste of the s'mores and wine that we are enjoying.
A hand on the back of my neck brings me out of my trance, nails gently scratching up and down either side of my spine before the hand comes to a rest. I look slowly to my right, as their thumb slowly starts to rub small circles on the skin of my neck, doing my best at not closing my eyes at the relaxing feeling as they meet Wanda's soft green ones.
Her soft smile instantly soothes something inside me, as I take in her features, a small warmth growing in my heart as I feel the corner of my lips tug into a soft smile of my own. My eyes flick around her features, her brow raising ever so slightly with a small tilt of her head asking a silent question.
"I'm okay." I mouth as my hand finds hers, taking it from the back of my neck and moving it so I can kiss her palm. A gesture that seems to answer any other questions she has as her attention goes back to her parents.
I feel a small blush form on my cheeks as I realise we are not alone and I most definitely zoned out while they were most likely talking to us. My attention turns to them, able to catch them looking between me and Wanda before they look at each other with smiles and nodding. What they are discussing in their silent conversation is lost on me as Wanda's hand finds home back on my neck, her thumb rubbing those soft circles over my skin.
"So Wanda says your the CEO of the partner company she works for." Her fathers question brings me back to reality and it takes me a second to recognise the sign of the typical parent interrogation that's about to happen.
"Uh, yeah, uh." I clear my throat as her parents patiently wait for me to shift around a little both giving me kind smiles as I settle into the start of the conversation. "Yeah, that's right. Its and R&D company over being tech savvy and everything else like the company Wanda works for is."
"So your stuff is like science?" Iryna's curiosity causes her head to tilt and now I know where her children and grandchildren got it from.
"Exactly. We do a lot of different research in a lot of different areas of science, and then we work alongside other big corporations in aiding in their research and all that stuff that is probably rather boring for us to talk about around a campfire." I chuckle a little nervously not liking everyone's attention on me as I try not to sound like I am tooting my own horn with my job and lifestyle that comes with it.
"Oh not at all dear. I actually find it very interesting in how it all works and what the job is like because I bet it is not easy being at the very top watching over everything." Iryna says as she lays her head on Oleg's shoulder.
"You're right, it's not the easiest some days, but I have an amazing team around me that helps keep things in control and meeting deadlines and all that boring company talk. We recently took on a new head of my neuro department, which I am hoping is a step in the right direction for them as we haven't had much progress the last year or two there. Then we also have some other really cool and maybe somewhat life changing research going on in other big departments."
"You hired Yelena for that head of department role, are you sure that was the right move?" I look at Wanda at her father's question and she shrugs her shoulders. "We are friends of the family, close friends of the family. So when Yelena told her parents they told us but we didn't know where she had been hired until now, if we are correct."
"You are, and yeah I definitely think Yelena is the right choice. She has a fierce passion and determination for her chosen science pathway and she knows what direction she wants to lead the department too. I check in once a week with her maybe twice since she is new to the role, and definitely new to working as a head of something in such a big company so I am there to support her. I think with time I will be able to leave her to it and get the same results I am getting now with the pressure that she is definitely feeling from being so new. I can already tell she is going to be an asset."
"Yelena is like a bull in a china shop sometimes so just be careful with her. That passion can turn into rage rather quickly." I smile at Oleg's warning as Iryna hits his stride gently kissing her teeth at his response.
"Oh don't worry I have already met her wrath and hopefully never again. Fun fact about bull in a china shop, they actually did an experiment where there put a bunch of bulls in a simulated china shop, you know close quarters with shelves and shelves of china but not in someone's actually shop because I feel like that would be immoral for both the bulls and the owner. Anyway, the experiment showed that the bulls were really careful and avoided hitting the shelves or each other, as there were multiple bulls in this experiment, and they never knocked into it enough to destroy all the china and they never kicked out or bashed it with their horns. So technically the term bull in a china shop should be null and void, unless you anger the bull and trap it inside. Then maybe it would go a bit hectic and all that. Sorry I am rambling but you get my point."
"No need to apologise baby. I love your fun little facts that you just randomly bring up, and I am sure that a lot of people are too, including my parents." Her soft smile doesn't do much to quell the now growing pit of anxiousness growing in my stomach.
"You'd be surprised how many people don't like to be thrown random facts like that, but I can't seem to help it."
"Ah well you don't have to worry about us with those facts, Wanda is right we love little tidbits and fun facts like that because the more you know, huh!" Oleg's booming voice makes me smile as his wife kisses his cheek as I feel a smile tug at my lips as I chuckle at his enthusiasm.
"Tell us another fun fact, I want to see how much random knowledge you're storing in that brain of yours." Iryna sits forward, resting her elbows on her knees, raising a brow as she challenges me.
"Did you know that the word that describes the fear of long words, is in itself is a long word consisting of 36 letters and is known as Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. Or did you know that chainsaws weren't originally invented for cutting wood but instead to aid childbirth. An itch isn't just an itch but is in fact the bacteria known as Staphylococcus aureus which releases a chemical that activates a protein in our nerves that our brain reads as an itch. If you don't like the sound of your own voice in a recording then you can blame the bones in your head, as they make your voice seem deeper than it is. So when you hear it back in a recording it's the voice people hear you speak everyday and not the one you think you sound like to others. I hate the voice that people hear because of that exact reason, I always thought I had a nice slightly deep voice, but I don't and there's nothing I can do about it. Okay final fact otherwise this might not ever end. The species Turritopsis dohrnii, which most people call the immortal jellyfish has been deemed so as it can reverse its lifecycle and hence it could in theory live forever."
"They are some very interesting facts. I mean imagine someone being scared of long words and then someone spits that long word at you to give a name to what you have. I think that is pure evil genius if you ask me." Oleg slaps his knee as he laughs, as he repeats it to himself acting out the scene he just described and the rest of us around the fire chuckle at the entertainment.
"I want to apologise to the two of you." The words come out before I even process them in my own mind and the three people around me go silent as all their attention falls on me.
"You don't have anything to apologise for." Iryna's soft voice reaches my ears and I give her a small smile that doesn't reach my eyes.
"I do. I want to apologise about everything that happened at thanksgiving. I mean I am not apologising for walking out, because deep down I know it was the right thing, but I am apologising about everything that went down before that. The way I reacted at the table to things being said, with everyone present I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I could have gone about it in a better way that didn't affect everyone."
"Honey, it should be I who should be apologising." Oleg breaks me out of my spiral of apologies. "I should have never brought up the subject of ... what I did. My wife and My daughter, as always, were right. It is a private conversation between the two of you and I shouldn't have shoved my nose in. I just, I got into the protective father mode that I never felt I did enough in the past. So I am sorry kid. Truly. For anything I caused that day and after."
"I, uhm. Thank you." I look at Wanda and Iryna for a moment giving them both reassuring smiles before looking back at Oleg. "Do you want to take a walk, and we can talk. I would say man to man but I guess it's man to women. And I will answer any questions you have for me as a father."
"I would like that, but only if you feel like you can." I feel Wanda's hand grab mine at her father's reassurance and I give it a gentle squeeze in response to her silent question.
"Let me grab us both a beer and we can go for a walk."
~~~~~
"It's a beautiful piece of land you have here, Oleg." I let my eyes wonder the four acre plot of land, that is rather hard to see in full at this time of night apart from a fairy lights in the trees, a few hanging lanterns and the moonlight to light the way.
"It is, isn't it.. Me and Iryna had always had plans to own a nice plot of land back in Sokovia: farmland. We wanted chickens and sheep, maybe even some pigs. We wanted to have something to do after our retirement but also keep a steady income in the local farmers markets and all of that. But as you can see Sokovia never happened, but this is a good second best. And I mean I am a lot closer to the twins and my grandchildren living here then I would have been back in Sokovia."
"Well I understand why you would want land in your home country, it is a very beautiful country. It's a big shame that it is currently under the hold it is with the people who are in charge. But I am sure that it will get back to what it once was."
"You have been to Sokovia?" Oleg's looks at me with slight surprise and a big smile.
"I certainly have. I used to go there for work, and for travels, and helped a young boy I met there. And I would say if you ever did want to move back to Sokovia and own a farm it won't be too far in the distance."
"How so?" I hide a smile behind the top of my beer as I take a sip from the bottle.
"It's a very long, and a very traumatic story but the boy I helped is one Carl Zemo son of Helmut Zemo, obviously. Ultron nearly killed the Kid and I was just glad that he didn't die. I actually met Helmut and helped him to hide Carl from Ultron and his men, paid off his medical bills and had private security on him at all times. Plain clothed security so as not to give Carl's location away. Anyway, because it was an in country incident nothing would have happened to Ultron but then something happened and it is now a UN matter and they are going to take him to trial, or he may already be under trial. But Helmut should get the place he has deserved since birth as head of the country. I can always put in a good word for you when he does so you can get the farm you always wanted."
"Ah yes, me and Iryna loved the Zemo family. They may have had their secrets and were supposedly linked to those black markets out in Madripoor, but most of us Sokovian citizens didn't ever see a problem with it because of the way they ruled the country. As long as the under the table stuff never screwed us citizens over the Baron's were people who were fully supported, so when Ultron managed to take control in a way that was probably - definitely - not legal the hope of the country becoming something. Or at least staying in a wonderful country died and the civil war started."
"Well hopefully it will change for the better sooner rather than later."
"I hope so too." We continue to walk past tall trees for a moment of silence before Oleg hums in thought and looks up at me. "Can we go back a few moments. Can I ask what Ultron did to get on the UNs manhunt map?"
"I - uh." I swallow harshly, my eyes spotting a bench a few metres away. "Can we sit?"
"Of course." Oleg agrees easily, waiting for me to sit down and get comfortable before joining me on the rather comfortable wooden bench that I would assume is used to look out on the land when in the daylight.
"So Ultron, he - well - he put a hit on me and my family. A guy ran his vehicle into ours while we were heading for a day out. I was trapped in the car calling out their names." I take a shaky breath as I get flashes of that day, my foot starting to tap on the floor as I feel the tears start to sting my eyes. "I was the only survivor."
"I don't feel like saying sorry is enough for someone who has gone through something like that, but I mean it from the most sincere, deepest part of my heart when I say that I am sorry that you ever had to go through that." I nod at his response as I wipe away tears, barely jumping when his hand lands on my shoulder giving it a small squeeze.
"Their names were Sarah and Evie. Sarah was my wife, we had been together for a long time and Evie was our daughter, she was so young. Barely new to this world when he took their lives from me. They didn't deserve it."
"And neither did you Y/n. I may not know the ins and outs of you and their relationships, I may not have known you for very long but I do know this. No one, no one deserves to go through something so devastating like that. And I am, I don't know what else to say right now apart from, I am sorry. Maybe I'll find the words one day but for now I am sorry, not just for what you went through but giving you a really hard time at thanksgiving. I mean the day is literally a day to be thankful and I jumped down your throat about something I knew nothing about and should have not brought up."
"Oleg you were just being a father and I get that. Sure thanksgiving probably wasn't the best place to do the whole interrogation father act but you were being just that Wanda's father. I respect that." I look at him as he smiles gratefully at me, a few tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.
"All I want for my children is for them to be happy and proud of who they are, for them to know that I am proud of them because I really am. And from the way Wanda has been these last few months, well apart from when she had the twins, I've never seen her so happy. Ever. I know you two have had your big fights and have been struggling with a few personal things, I don't know the details and I don't need to know them, but I can see the determination in both your eyes to make this relationship work. And I believe with every part of me that you two will make it through whatever it is that you are going through and will have your happy ending."
"I believe so too. We have both been putting in the work to make us work. We jumped in so quickly and let the honeymoon phase of a new relationship swallow us whole before properly getting to know one another, not just the surface stuff but the deep dark skeletons in the closet sort of stuff, and we would never work if we didn't know each other as well as we know ourselves. But, like I mentioned, we are working on ourselves to make our relationship the best and healthiest we can."
"Well it sounds like you two are on the way to become the love sick couple that make people wish they had." We both chuckle at that before he gently rests his hand on my knee as he gives me a smile with a shine in his eye I have only seen once before: when Tony looked at me this way. "I know you guys have been together a few months but when I watch you I see your two futures so when you are ready. When the two of you are in a place where you are happy and healthy and everything in between, you have my blessing. You have my blessing to ask my daughter for your hand in marriage."
"I-uh-I...Wow. I didn't expect that, but thank you so much Oleg. I know we may be a little far away from that day but I promise to continue to make her the happiest she has ever been and I promise to look after her and I promise not to hurt her in a way that makes her pull away from who she is. Because she is so wonderful and I would hate the idea of hurting her like he did."
"I believe you kiddo." He smiles as he looks back out at the night sky surrounding us, gently giving my knee a squeeze. "Now let's kill a bit of time so they think I am giving you the full father interrogation."
"And how do you propose we kill that time?" He chuckles as he looks at me with a mischievous smile.
"Has Wanda ever told you the story of how punched a party clown in the place where the sun don't shine when scared Pietro after popping out from a bunch of balloons he was hiding behind because Pietro has a huge fear of them." I smile with a laugh shaking my head as his smile grows.
"No she has not."
"Well then let me start from the beginning."
~~~~~
As me and Oleg are walking back to the back deck we can see our girls watching us make our way towards them, both with soft smiles on their faces as they see the wide smiles on mine and Oleg's. He nudges me gently with his shoulder and as I look at him he holds his finger over his lips with a wink. I tap the end of my nose with my finger as I send him a wink back and he chuckles a deep chested chuckle as he gently pats my shoulder.
"So it looks like you two had a lot to talk about with how long you have been gone." Iryna raises her brow and Oleg simply shrugs at his wife.
"Or maybe we just sat and looked up to the stars." Iryna hums with a slow nod as her eyes turn to look at me.
"Well if neither of you will tell us anything tonight I am sure to get it out of Y/n when we have our little mother to future daughter in law chat tomorrow."
"Mother." Wanda tries to scorn her under her breath but with the shock evident in her voice she says it much louder than she meant to, and I watch as the tips of her ears and cheeks go red.
"Tell me I am wrong and then I will change my statement." Wanda's blush grows at her mothers insinuation making her mother laugh proudly at making her daughter seemingly lose her voice. "Now with that being said I think I am going to call it a night, it is getting late and if I am to do my side of the interrogation then I am going to need all the energy to do so."
"Well I look forward to it, Iryna." The corner of her lip twitches in a smirk.
"Mhmm you say that now." She sends me a wink to let me know she is kidding but I still play along by holding my hands up in fake surrender.
"Okay, you win."
"As I always should. But I am serious. I am heading to bed as I am exhausted."
"Right. Good night Iryna I shall see you in the morning."
"Yes you will."
"Mother!" Me and Iryna laugh loudly as Wanda gently hits her arm. "Be nice."
"I am only joking and she knows it. See she has that beautiful smile that you love so much showing." Wanda's cheeks go red once again as she looks shyly to the floor then to me and I send her a cheeky wink that makes her look back down at the floor.
"Though I don't think heading to bed is a bad idea. Me and Wanda have had a long day and should get yourself some rest."
"Okay kiddo. Me and Iryna shall see you in the morning."
We all say our good nights to one another as I walk up the decking towards Wanda, easily wrapping my arms around her smaller body and pulling her close to me. Her arms instinctively wrap around my body as she rests her chin on my torso so she can look up at me. Her green eyes shine in the morning light and her smile makes me easily lean down and peck her lips a few times, her eyes fluttering shut momentarily as I do.
"You doing okay?" She asks with so much softness it makes my heart melt, our eyes meeting once again.
"I am perfect baby. And don't worry your father didn't interrogate me the way in which I think your mother will tomorrow." She chuckles, as her hands sliding under the back of my shirt to initiate some skin on skin contact.
"Yeah my father's a big softie on the inside, and so is my mother once she decides whether she likes you or not. She has a mean bite but I am sure she will give you some slack. She really just wants to know you won't hurt me like vision, which I think she believes already but she is protective so she is probably gonna push a little. I can ask her to go a little nicer and she might pull back from trying to push some buttons."
"No, no, don't do that." I shake my head gently. "I want to prove to your mother want she wants me to prove and we will do it her way. I can deal with the pushing but I also know she is respectful enough to pull back if she oversteps a boundary."
"Okay. Just promise to not let her push you to the breaking point." I smile softly, kissing her forehead gently before mumbling against it. "I promise baby."
"I love you dorogaya."
"I love you too princess." She tilts her head back slightly so our lips connect in a soft kiss. "So you're gonna tell me what you and my dad spoke about?"
"Nope." I pop the P with a very cheeky smile and Wanda's jaw drops as I giggle.
"Really?" She whines as I pull away from the hug slightly to look down at her giving her a small no. "Not even a little tidbit?"
"Hmm." I hum in thought as she pouts at me. "Nope. But maybe if you ask me tomorrow I'll change my mind."
"No you won't." She pouts, crossing her arms over her chest and I can't help but chuckle at her child-like antics.
"You won't know unless you ask. And if you want to get to tomorrow quicker we need to go to bed." I say as I make my way to the chair we were sat on earlier to pick up the blanket, hanging it over my shoulder as I look back at Wanda.
"But...." She grumbles, rolling her eyes and kicking some dirt on the deck, as I make my way to the doorway as she stands.
"But what baby?" She shakes her head with a groan.
"Nothing, I don't have a comeback." I chuckle as I see her struggling to hide a smile and I sigh as I give in a little.
"So you punched a clown?" Wanda gasps as she looks at me in shock.
"He told you about that!" I laugh as I shrug.
"Oh he told me so much." I tilt my head as I see Wanda thinking over what she wants to say before she looks at me with determination and I know I am in for it.
"Oh you are both gonna regret telling embarrassing stories." My eyes go wide as she darts towards me.
"No, no, no!" I throw the blanket at her, which lands over her head and stops her momentarily as she looks like a scooby doo villain stuck in a net.
"Oh you are gonna regret trying to outrun me." I give her a slightly scared smile as I slowly back away.
"Is it too late to save myself by telling you how much I love you and would do anything for you." She smirks evilly at that.
"Good to know, but yes." She tilts her head, her eyes meeting mine and her evil act scares me a tiny bit before my eyes move down to her evil smile.
I tap my fingers on the steering wheel in time with the quiet music playing from my car stereo, my eyes looking out the windscreen to the house in front of me. I take a deep breath in, closing my eyes, and lean my head against the not so soft steering wheel as I try to calm my nerves.
For those wondering why I am nervous, well it's been a week since me and Wanda have seen each other. We have been messaging and video calling most days but we have stuck to our promises to each other and the agreement we made about not seeing each other every day. So it's now the Friday after we spoke, and next Friday is Christmas but that is something else to figure out later.
Anyway, we spoke this week about doing things the right way and I mentioned I wanted a redo on meeting her parents. Wanda then told me she was going to spend the weekend with them before taking the boys home as she misses them too much to have them stay with her parents any longer. She said there was no pressure to agree but she did invite me over for dinner tonight. Yet I thought it was a good idea.
We said we wanted to start again, in some terms of the words, and I think it is best I meet her parents in a more neutral environment instead of when surrounded by lots of family and friends on a day that is known to end in arguments.
So when Wanda said her parents have invited me to dinner, with no offence if I were to say no, well I couldn't say no because I know it is something I wanted to do and the opportunity arose and I was not going to miss it.
But I am also meeting Wanda's parents, for real this time, so I am nervous. Who doesn't get nervous when they are meeting their partners? I say if you're not nervous to impress your partner's family and friends then how big is your ego? Too big. But not the point.
The point is I am currently sitting in my car in their driveway, counting the seconds as they pass with each nervous breath. A small tap on my window brings me back to the real world with a start and I see the cheeky smile that could be mistaken for Wanda's if it wasn't for the fact it isn't Wanda standing outside my car. They really are twins.
"Well look at you all up and walking around." I say as I open the car door to the smiling man. "Albeit with the help of those crutches, which by the way I would wrap some foam or something around the handles, or put some support tape around your wrists and palms because the blisters you get from them ain't it. Furthermore, how did you end up on crutches, you've only just got out of hospital."
"That's the way you choose to greet your crippled future brother in law. You got humour kid. I like you. And I may or may not have tried to take a bath by myself when I got back here and slipped and landed funky on my foot. So you know I kind of, most definitely, broke my ankle." I smiles widely as he leans down the best he can with his crutches to look in the car. "Sweet car also. You and Wanda really do have that sugar momma and sugar baby relationship huh?"
"Well that was dumb. Speaking of money, how did explaining to the boys what a sugar momma is?" He chuckles as his eyes continue to scan the car's interior. "If you want to sit inside it all you gotta do is ask."
"Nah I'm good, I might ruin the value of it the moment I even touch it let alone get in it. I mean old mustangs don't go for cheap nowadays. And now the boys know that a sugar momma is someone who is someone who likes to spend money on their friends and family because they love them so much and like to help them out."
"Well maybe when your PT says you can get behind the wheel again we can take this baby out for a spin." I tap the steering wheel a few times as the smile on Pietro's grows tenfold.
"Yeah that would be fucking awesome." His voice cracks in excitement and he clears his throat quickly." I mean, yeah, yeah, I would be up for that."
"Sure." I purposely crack my voice as I climb out of the car and lean into the back to pull a few bags from the back seat, before standing up straight and using my hip to close the door. "Also nice work on the sugar momma thing. I really didn't think you were going to get out of that one so easily."
"Oh I didn't. Wanda still somehow managed to convince my parents that no TV was a good choice of punishment, so you know I have been reading and mostly catching up with Youtube and something the twins call tik tok, which has nothing to do with clocks and is definitely an addictive thing that I spend hours watching. Better then some TV if you ask me."
"And you call me a kid." He pokes out his tongue blowing a raspberry as he rolls his eyes. "So childish, more so than the twins if you ask me."
"Well I am the fun one in the family."
"Mhmm, let me guess you were the class clown too." I raise my brow and he is quick to nod with that cheeky smile.
"Yup, I was the prankster. Always pulling pranks at school and on Wanda. Dyed her hair blue once." He says smugly and I easily hang a bag on each of his crutches. "Wha..."
"For that, you get to hobble back with the added pendulum of those bags." He groans as I start to walk away.
"You're going to come back right. You can't just leave me here." I turn around and I see a hopeful smile on his face before it drops as I continue to walk backwards with my arms out with a small shrug of my shoulder.
"Sorry future brother in law. Can't get yourself out of this one with that cute face of yours." He huffs as he looks down at the bags on his crutches and I huff out a laugh when I turn back around and hear him talking to himself.
"Fine, fine. But just know I will get my revenge!" He shouts after me.
"Whatever you say future brother in law!" I hear him groan as I walk up the front deck to the house, putting the rest of my bags in my left hand and using my free right hand to knock on the door.
"Well hello dear." Wanda's mom is quick to answer the door and I see her eyes dart over my shoulder to see Pietro and she can't hide the small smile that pulls at the corner of the lips. "What did he do this time?"
"Ah you know he just let me in on the fact that he used to prank Wanda and all so I thought it would be fair punishment for all those years of torment he put Wanda through."
"Ah, very well leave him to it dear, he will find his way inside soon enough. We thought maybe you two had run off together or something because we sent him out a while ago to fetch you, looking all nervous and worried sitting in that car of yours."
"Yeah he spent half the time admiring the thing, and the other half being the cheeky man Wanda has described him as." She smiles fondly as I talk and then looks down to the bags in my hand.
"What have you brought with you?" I smile, putting some of the bags back in my other hand, lifting them up.
"So I brought some snacks for the movie night, Wanda asked me to bring some, and I also brought us some wine to share between us adults. Nothing too fancy, just the typical run of the mill Penfolds reserve chardonnay."
"Mhmm, Wanda said you were one for some fancy wine." I smile shyly at that as I step into their home.
"Well I can promise you this is nothing too fancy if that makes you feel any better." She chuckles at that as she leaves the door slightly ajar as I take off my shoes.
"Only very slightly dear, but then I would expect someone to bring only the best when meeting someone's parents properly, no?" Her eyebrows raise as she pulls the wine from the bag, reading the label.
"Well I didn't want to go too expensive and make everyone not want to drink it, you know. So here you are with an 88 dollar bottle of chardonnay. Not cheap but not too expensive."
"Well I can't say I have ever had this one before so only time will tell if you have made the right choice. But enough of the drink talk because I know for a fact there are three boys waiting to greet you and my daughter who is a ball of nerves."
"3 boys?" I follow her down the hallway towards the noise of the TV and hushed voice.
"Yes Oleg is still a boy at heart so I always include him in the count." I hum in understanding.
"Where should I put these?" I lift the bags up slightly and Iryna is quick to take them from me.
"Do not worry, I will sort these out. You go and say hello to everyone."
"Are you sure?" I give her a dubious look and she waves me off as best as she can.
"Yes you are my guest, so you should not have to lift a finger. Now I know you must have missed spending time with them so go be with them."
"Thank you. But please do shout if you need any help with dinner or doing the dishes, I do not mind helping."
"You are my guest so I shouldn't have to but I guess I could use a hand with the dishes once we have all eaten."
"Well I look forward to being a helping hand."
"You're a little odd aren't you." I shrug and she smiles softly. "Nothing wrong with that though. Now go, go before I drag you into the room with everyone else myself."
I hold my hands up in surrender with a chuckle as she gives me a pointed look, watching me as I enter the room where the others are. My eyes pull away from her watchful eye as I feel two bodies collide with mine before I hear them shouting my name in excitement. I bend down wrapping my arms around the boys as I pull them closer to me, both of their heads resting on my shoulders as I can feel their bodies buzzing with pure excitement.
"Do you want to play Mario Kart with us Y/n?" They both ask at exactly the same time, with their weird twin telepathy thing they got going on sometimes, with wide smiles.
"Well how am I meant to say no to you two when I haven't seen you in so long."
"Yes!" They both run off, rambling to each other about how they want to team up to beat me, and I walk further into the room to see Wanda and her dad deep in conversation.
"Ah Y/n!" Oleg is the first to spot me and stand up from his armchair, making his way over to me with open arms. "Welcome, welcome."
"Wow." I say quickly as he pulls me into what I can only say as a very welcoming and comforting hug. "Thank you for having me."
"Of course. Wanda said that the two of you were working things out and that you had mentioned you wanted to meet us properly so I told her to invite you over and you were very welcome here." He slowly pulls out of the hug, his hands landing on my shoulders as his eyes scan me up and down like a worried parent. "And how are you?"
"I am doing better thank you. Some time away was what I needed even if I hurt a few people in the process." I look down at my shoes not wanting to Oleg in the eyes when I mention how I hurt his daughter by disappearing like that.
"Child I do not hold that against you. You did what you needed to do and that takes a lot of strength to be able to take yourself out of those situations. I do not think any less of you. And Wanda is a grown woman with family around her to support her, you did not hurt her deeply and she knows your reasoning. Please do not think we hate you for what happened that day." I nod at his words looking back up to him.
"Thank you Oleg." He smiles at that and gently pats my shoulder.
"Of course. Now go sit down. I am going to see if my dearest wife needs a hand as I am sure she won't let anyone else help. You know, wanting us all to relax or anything."
"Well she said I could do the dishes after we ate." He laughs a fully hearted laugh at that, giving me a wide smile.
"Well she must really like you to let you help with the chores!" I smile at the thought, my cheeks going slightly red at the attention and he laughs a little more. "Now I should not keep her waiting any longer."
With that I am left standing, a little awkwardly, my eyes meeting Wanda who has a fond smile on her face, her arm resting on the back of the couch as her feet are pulled under her bum. I wipe my hands on my pants as I make over, both our smiles growing as I stop at the back of the couch. I place my hands on the back of the couch looking down at Wanda as she looks up at me.
No words are exchanged but when my eyes meet her I can feel my heart skip a beat and I very easily lean down. Our lips meet in a soft kiss, her hand finds home on my jaw when I try to pull away, making me smile into the next few kisses she presses to my lips.
"Ewwww." I hear one of the twins groan and me and Wanda end up breaking the kiss apart with our giggles. "You said you would play Mario Kart with us Y/n not tonsil tennis with mom."
The boys laugh cheekily as me and Wanda look up at them in shock, and it just makes them double over in laughter when they see our faces. I feel my cheeks go slightly red and I can see Wanda blushing as the boys point it out laughing more.
"Boys, where did you learn that?" The boys slowly stop laughing when they hear the seriousness in Wanda's tone and see her all too famous head tilt.
"Uncle Pietro!" They both shout in Unison.
"What did I do now?" We all turn to see the man, bags still on his crutches, make his way into the room.
"Oh I am going to kill you." Pietro's eyes go wide, looking between Wanda and the twins before he shakes the bags off his crutches and as quickly as they allow him to dart back at the room as Wanda fast walks after him. "Pietro get back here!"
"Oops." Tommy smiles guilty as he looks from the door to me once I look back at the twins. He then holds up the Nintendo switch. "Mario Kart?"
~~~~~
"I win again!" I stand up and do a small celebratory dance as the boys groan, sinking into the couch more.
"Damn! How did you get so good?" Tommy puts his controller to the side of him, rubbing his face up and down as we all look at my character dancing on the screen
"Well Tommy practice makes perfect. And Mario, although has had many different iterations over the years, came out before I was even born, but I practically grew up on the game when I was living with Clint and Laura."
"That's not fair. Just because you are older and have had more practice." I gasp with a hand on my heart.
"I am not that much older than you Billy Maximoff." The boy shrugs with a cheeky smile.
"Still older than us." I poke my tongues out at them and they are quick to poke their tongues back at me.
"See, I think Y/n won fair and square. One of you even used one of them blue shell thingies on her and then one of you was glowing and playing music and when you hit her she slipped over. And yet she still managed to get back at you and win overall. You guys play this game whenever you are with your Babushka and Dedushka and you have been here for like two weeks now. I think that is plenty of practice to beat someone who probably hasn't played the game in a while."
"You're just siding with her because she is your girlfriend mom." Wanda smiles at Tommy's groaning as she stands up in front of me and wraps her arms around my body.
"That she is." She puckers her lips, standing on her tiptoes and I lean down slightly to let our lips meet for a soft kiss.
"Ewwww." The boys both make gagging sounds and poke their tongues out at the sight of me and Wanda and once again it causes us to break into a small fit of giggles.
"Disgusting. Bleugh." Me and Wanda roll our eyes and the sound of Pietro's voice behind us.
"So you're still alive then." I say with a smirk as we all turn to look at Pietro who looks cautiously at Wanda.
"Yeah, just about. She is scary when she is angry and I forget that sometimes, but I am her older brother so I will probably annoy her to the point of me being scared again."
"Guess you got lucky this time." Wanda says with a raised brow and Pietro gulps down the lump in his throat camping his hands together as he turns to the boys.
"But I am actually here for the boys. Mama wants their help setting the table for dinner." The boys groan a little before a stern look from their mother makes them scramble to their feet, making me and Pietro laugh. "Come one you two rascals, to the kitchen."
The boys follow Pietro out of the living room and me and Wanda turn to look at one another, my arms loosely wrapping around her neck as her fingers loop through the front two belt holes in my pants. She smiles softly up at me slowly putting herself on her tippy toes tugging at my belt loops for stability, her eyes flicking left to right as she looks in mine searching for something. I give her the time she needs to find it, knowing the moment it happens as her eyes seem to light up and she tugs my belt loops again while puckering her lips.
I lean down pressing our lips together. It's one of the softest kisses we have ever had and it makes my heart sore as I feel how much love is in the kiss. Even though it is such a small action it makes me feel so much when I feel her hands move to hold the edges of my shirt, scrunching them in her fists as she sighs into the kiss.
At that I slowly pull away, but not before giving a few quick pecks to her lips that make her smile. I rest my forehead against hers, my eyes fluttering open to see her pressing her lips together savouring the kiss with her eyes still closed. Her tongue quickly darts out to wet her lips as she pulls away, her hands now moving to rest on my stomach, over my shirt, as her eyes slowly flicker open.
"Wow." Wanda whispers between us and my smile only grows more as I ever so gently bump our noses together.
"Wow indeed." Just as I go to say something else my stomach has to interrupt with the worst gurgling sounds known to man causing Wanda to lose her composure and laugh, her hand quick to cover her mouth as she does. "Geez way to ruin a moment Y/n. Someone would think I am hungry or something."
"Well you best be hungry because my mother has made another dish from home I think you'll like."
"Well if she enjoys chicken paprikash I am sure she will enjoy Pelmeni." We both look over to see her mother leaning against the doorway, a fond smile on her face.
"Well it smells delicious from in here, so I am sure looking forward to trying it." My hand finds Wanda's easily as we both follow Iryna towards the dining room.
Wanda gives my hand a gentle squeeze before entering the dining room, both of us stopping just short of the doorway. I turn to look at her as she gives me her amazing smile I love so much as her other hand reaches out for mine pulling them between us. Her thumbs rub circle on the backs of my hand.
"Just be yourself, don't worry about trying to impress them or say what you think they want to hear. Forget about what happened at thanksgiving also, I know that's harder said than done. But they already love you and you don't need to do anything above and beyond to prove anything to them. Just think of it as a family dinner, okay. Just join in with conversation whether that's with them, me, Pietro or the boys."
"I can do that." She brings my hands up to kiss the back of them.
"I know you can baby, I just know you enough to know that you need to be reminded of the fact."
"Thank you baby." She smiles at the name, her hands pulling my arms to wrap around her waist as her hands land on my shirt pulling my down slightly so she can give my lips a quick few pecks. "Do my lips taste good or something? All we have been doing since we saw each other today is kiss."
"Hmm, my lips miss yours. Is all." I hum against her lips as she kisses me one more time before patting my sides. "Well good luck."
"Huh?" But before I can even question her she turns around walking into the dinning room, and I say to myself before following her. "Right. Good luck I guess"
"Ah look who finally made it to the table!" Pietro brings everyone's attention to me, all the people at the table smiling as I make my way over to Wanda who is quick to stand and pull my chair out for me.
"Thank you." She pecks my lip as I sit down before taking her seat.
"I have to be the gentlewoman every now and again." A small gag sound comes from Pietro, well at least we know where the boys got it from, as he watches the interaction.
"Okay, everyone I have something to say before we continue." Oleg stands with a glass of chardonnay in his hand.
"This is not some formal dinner. My love you do not need to make a speech." Iryna puts her hand on his forearm as she looks at him but he waves us off.
"I know honey but I thought it appropriate." She drops her hand instead grabbing her glass of chardonnay. "I would just like to say thank you to Y/n, the smile she has brought back to my dearest daughter Wanda is something I can never thank her enough for. The daughter I thought I lost years ago is finally making a reappearance. I am so glad she has found someone that makes her and the boys so happy. And although they have gone through some patches, like every relationship, they are fighting their way through. So to my daughter and her wonderful girlfriend Y/n."
"To Wanda and Y/n." Iryna and Pietro repeat his words as the boys raise their glasses of coca cola.
"To mom and Y/n!"
"Wow, are we married now or what?" I say with a cheeky smile, earning a chorus of laughs as Wanda gives me a gentle nudge with her elbow.
"Not yet. But you will be." Oleg chokes on his drink as Iryna now gives him a nudge with her elbow.
"Like mother like daughter ey?!" Oleg nods his head towards Wanda and Iryna and both of them look at me with raised eyebrows and a tilt of their heads.
"I am not of free will to answer that when they are both doing that scary head tilt thing." They both smile at that as Oleg hums with a sip of his chardonnay.
"I agree. The moment Iryna pulled that move on me I shut up pretty quick. Wanda learnt from the best." I raise my glass in agreement, taking a sip of it as Wanda and Iryna go back to not being scary.
"So I know we are all having a moment but my stomach is screaming at this point so can we please start so the food doesn't get cold?" Pietro complains earning an eye roll from his mother who grumbles out a yes while stabbing her pelmeni."
"This really does smell amazing, Iryna." She waves me off, covering her mouth with the back of her hand as she finishes her mouthful.
"Thank you, but you must try it before saying it is amazing."
"My wife speaks the truth, although the smell of food adds to the overall experience the taste is the most important part." Oleg says before stuffing some food in his mouth with an appreciative hum making Iryna roll her eyes.
"Well then, I will take your advice and try one of the best smelling foods."
"One of the best?" Iryna raises her brow and I smile as I take a bite of the food, my eyes closing as it practically melts in my mouth. "Good huh?"
"Mhmm." All I can manage as I do my best not to speak with a mouth full of food, so once I can I swallow and take a sip of chardonnay to allow any small bits to be cleared of my teeth. "Yes, so so good. And my girlfriend, who is very much present and sitting right next to me, also cooks amazing food so I mean no offence to either one of you when it comes to who is better because I don't want to start that sort of war or boost either one's ego bigger than the others or whatever."
"No pitting mother against daughter and vice versa. Good choice." Oleg agrees as he stuffs more food in his mouth.
"Yes, very smart dear." Iryna agrees with a smile as she too takes a bite of her food.
"I think a drink on the deck after this is a shout don't you guys?" Pietro speaks up after already finishing his first serving and reaching for more.
"It's winter." I raise my brow and Oleg waves me off.
"Do not worry child, we have a big open fire pit out the back. It will keep us all nice and warm along with some blankets." I nod in understanding as Wanda moves her hand to rest on my thigh giving it a squeeze.
"Only if you want to baby. I didn't know if you wanted to stay late, or the night so we made no set plans tonight apart from the food."
"Wanda is of course right, do not feel obligated to say yes if you feel the need to go home." Iryna agrees with her daughter easily and I shake my head at the both of them with a smile.
"No, a night on the deck sounds very nice. And if I am to drink another glass or two of wine I am not to drive anywhere so I can stay the night, only if I am not intruding of course."
"Oh sweet dear you could never intrude. A person that makes my daughter smile like my daughter and not some stranger will always be welcome in our home."
"Mama." Wanda groans a little with red cheeks as she hides her face against my neck making the rest of us around the table laugh.
"Can we stay up late to mom?" The boys once again say in unison.
"That is a little unnerving not going to lie."
"Eh you get use to their creepy twin telepathy thing, Wanda and Pietro used to do it all the time." Oleg says as he finishes off his first glass of chardonnay.
"Of course you can, boys. But not too late. It may be the weekend but no staying up past 11.30."
"Yes!" They both high five in unison and I turn my head to whisper in Wanda's ears.
"I bet they will be passed out on the couch by 10.30 with Mario Kart still on in the background."
"Deal." Wanda looks up at me with those beautiful, playful eyes and kisses my lips to seal the deal.
"Gross." She doesn't even have to look when she waves her hand behind her back hitting Pietro on his chest causing the man to groan out a little and having to stop himself from flipping her off.
"Now, now children no need to fight at the table. We are having such a nice dinner." Iryna states earning an eye roll from her children.
"Kids listen to your mother." Oleg's input earns an eye roll alongside an endearing smile from his wife.
"Yeah kids, no fighting at the table." Tommy mocks and Iryna chuckles, winking at Tommy who now looks very proud of himself.
"Don't encourage him mother."
"Eh, someone has to keep you guys in line when I am not there to do so."
I zone out a little, their voices becoming background noise as my eyes look around the table at everyone smiling and enjoying the evening and the food. Wanda laughs next to me at something her father has said, who once again earns an eye roll from his wife, Tommy and Billy are talking excitedly about something while Pietro adds his input here and there. A feeling of warmth spreads across my body when I feel Wanda's eyes on my, her hand gently squeezing my thigh and my whole and complete attention is brought back to her.
"You okay baby?" I smile looking around the table one last time before taking her hand that's on my thigh, into mine.
Promise Each Other Something - Just Us Chapter 133
Warnings: Talks of emotional abuse and trauma, talks of triggers.
Word Count: 5567
Series List | Chapter 132 | Chapter 134
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"That was delicious. Thank you." I put my fork down on my plate leaning back in my chair with my hands resting on my belly. "I feel like we haven't eaten that in ages. You gotta cook more food from your country because I swear this is the most mouth watering good food I have ever had."
"It has been a little while since I have cooked some Sokovian food, and I am sure my mama is cooking up a storm every night for the boys. She tells us all the time that Sokovian food is the best thing she ever brought to the USA when we moved here."
"What is the first?"
"Me and Pietro apparently but I don't know I feel like the food comes first. Me and Pietro were menace's."
"Well I can't argue with you there." I chuckle as a crumpled napkin hits my face and I look at her with a raised brow.
"That's for being rude."
"You said it, not me." I say cheekily as I throw the napkin back at her, hitting her face before landing on her plate in her lap.
"You keep up with the cheekiness, maybe I'll take your Chicken Paprikash privileges away." I gasp, holding my hand to my heart.
"You wouldn't dare?" Wanda stands up, raising a brow, as she walks over to my desk.
"Try me." She throws the napkin back at me, hitting me on the forehead and my jaw drops as she saunters off to the kitchen taking my plate with her, chuckling to herself as she does.
I smile to myself at the sound of herself, leaning back in my chair, putting my feet up on my desk. I close my eyes, my hands behind my head, as I let myself relax into the chair more. The sound of Wanda humming as she does the dishes filling my ears and my smile spreads as I think about how relaxed this all is. How domestic this feels.
My girlfriend visiting me while at work, seeing what I do, learning how it all works even if I don't always understand how business always works myself. She brings in food so we can have lunch together, then she even does the dishes. I did tell her she didn't need to do the dishes as I could always do them later but she insisted. She brought up the whole fact that she shouldn't be classed as a guest so any mess made by the two of us she is happy to clean up.
I didn't want to argue with that. She can be very convincing when she does the raised brow with the head tilt. The moment she does that I will concede any battle, even if I know I am right I will concede. I am not right. If she says two plus two equals five then does the head tilt then two plus two will equal five.
I open one of my eyes when I feel my foot being gently wiggled to see a smiling Wanda looking at me, but this smile is not happy nor is it a smile I like to see. She looks sad, nervous. Her eyes look down at her hand on my shoe instead of at me, in fact she is looking anywhere but my eyes which are now both open as I take in the nervousness that seems to be coursing through her.
I gently nudge her hand up with the toe of my shoes. Her fingers gently tap the tips of my shoes as I wait for her patiently, fighting the urge to stand up and pull her teeth from nibbling her bottom lip. I watch as her chest rises and falls with the deep breath she takes before her eyes slowly but surely meet mine. She licks her lips as I feel the nervousness radiating from her.
"Uhm..." She swallows harshly and takes in a shaky breath. "We should talk. I mean I am ready if you are."
"We can talk." Wanda nods her head as she presses her lips together.
"I mean if you're not too busy with work and all. I want to talk as soon as we can, really talk. But if you're busy today, maybe tonight?"
"I cleared my whole schedule, we can talk for as long as we need." Wanda blinks a few times, looking up to the ceiling momentarily.
"You cleared your schedule?" I smile softly as Wanda's eyes meet mine again.
"I did. You said you wanted to talk today, and you came here wanting to talk as well as have lunch so of course I cleared my schedule. I wasn't going to pretend to be busy with work when it is something you were wanting, something we are wanting. Something we need to do. And there is no time like the present right?"
"No time like the present." She repeats quietly. "On one condition."
"What's that?" I tilt my head in curiosity.
"We both sit on the couch. I feel like it will be easier for us both to sit there, instead of me there and you over here at your desk." She rambles out and I smile easily.
"Then I have one condition too."
"Sure."
"Give me 5 minutes to get changed into something that isn't so formal."
"I'll make us tea while I wait." She moves her hands down to my shins gently squeezing them. "Then we talk."
"Yeah, then we talk."
~~~~~
I look down into the mug, keeping my hands warm, gently blowing on it causing the steam to dance through the air in tiny wisps that curve towards one another, trying to find their way to be one before the momentum they were carrying before forces them apart as they dissipate into their surroundings.
I give the steam a moment to settle before giving another gentle blow, this time watching the way the tea ripples, small waves crashing against the mug causing a reflection wave that then collides with a wave on its way to hit the inside of the mug causing superposition. Funny how something so simple like blowing on hot tea can show how physics works. God I do love science.
"Y/n." Her voice pulls me from my scientific trance, my head moving until my eyes meet hers and I realise how much I have been using the tea as a distraction when I see her finger nervously tapping the edge of her mug.
"Sorry, I got distracted." She smiles softly leaning against the arm of the couch, as she pulls her feet up onto the cushion, her knees almost touching her chest.
"It's okay. But I feel like if we go any longer without speaking we aren't actually going to talk." I nod in understanding as I lean back into the corner of the couch lifting my feet to rest on the ottoman.
"Of course. So how do you want to do this? Do you want us to put everything out on the table, then discuss and ask questions, give solutions or close to solutions. Or do we want to ask questions then go from there..."
"I'd like us to talk, say what we have to say and then we can see how we feel and go from there. And I would like to go first. I have things to say." She says it with a sense that she wasn't really asking but I can understand why she wants to get into this thing rather than try and avoid it any longer.
"We can do that. And I'm listening." I say it as softly as I can and I get a small smile in return as her eyes look down at her mug of tea and I know she needs a second to organise her thoughts and I find myself easily allowing her a minute.
"I'm sorry." Her eyes dart up to look at me, her hands squeezing her mug as she takes a shaky breath. "I am getting so frustrated with myself that I have to keep apologising to you. You don't deserve to be hearing apologies all the time from anyone, especially me. But this apology, this apology is one big, huge one. For a snowball of fuck ups that led up to a huge monumental fuck up. I know it may be hard to believe and I know that an 'I'm sorry' doesn't erase the things that I did, but please know that I never did any of it on purpose. I never looked to hurt you in those ways. It was never my intention. And I need to explain what happened, I need to tell you from my perspective so that maybe, maybe a little bit of you can see, maybe believe, that I never wanted to hurt you so bad that I pushed you away. Yes what I did was bad, really terrible, but I had my reasoning and although you may not agree with it I need you to hear it."
She takes a shaky breath, a shake of her head as her eyes look up at the ceiling as her finger moves to trace the top of the mug. She mutters something about rambling to herself as her head looks back down as she brings the mug to her lips. I watch intently as she takes a few long slow sips, between each of which she takes a small smell of the aroma coming from the mug, her eyes closing at the feeling of the hot tea as she lets it calm her rattled state.
Once she is satisfied the tea has helped she presses the edge of the mug to her lips as she continues to breathe in the aroma, her eyes stay shut for a moment longer before moving her arms down so them and the mug are resting in her lap and once again her eyes look to me. Her thumb dances up and down the handle of the mug, her lips pressing together before she continues.
"I didn't mean to hit Yelena you know, well maybe a small part of me wanted to hit her, but it wasn't a conscious action. It was very much an unconscious action. My therapist says we all have them and when people say you should think before you say or do, well we can't always live by that because deeply rooted in our subconscious is a serious fight or flight instinct and apparently mine is to fight ... or defend. It was such a visceral reaction that I didn't know that I had hit her until I saw the red mark on her face. She just kept saying things about you, disgusting things. Trying to defend herself about her reasoning behind saying those things and words weren't working and my anger was getting to a boiling point."
"I am usually so good at keeping my anger to myself, walking away and keeping quiet. Let those feelings evaporate by themselves, maybe some people call them pushing it under the rug but it is what I had to do as a mother when I was with Vision. I couldn't fight back half as much as I wanted to because I couldn't let the boys see their parents arguing all the time, and I mean Vision was a nasty piece of work if you pushed the wrong buttons. I really did want to walk away from Yelena, she was so angry and I just couldn't fathom how someone could be so angry and someone for something they had gone through something that wasn't their fault. But she just kept going and going."
"I couldn't get a word in sideways and I couldn't just walk away when she was saying such disgusting things about the person I love the most. She was disregarding your feelings, your past, your trauma and I couldn't just stand there and hear it. But I also couldn't walk away. And it was like this anger, the anger I have been pushing away for years, the anger that was hiding just under the rug, the pure rage of always being the bigger person. The person that just stood there and took the wrath of others. It was blinding in a sense, and Yelena was the person standing in front of me spitting all this bullshit and it was like a switch flipped. All those years of holding it in just came out. I don't even remember lifting my hand or striking her. It was like I blacked out momentarily and when I came back to earth, Yelena was there with a red mark on her."
She looks down at her tea, in what I can only identify in shame, I can see tears in the corners of her eyes. I want to reach out and wipe them away as they fall down her cheeks but stop myself from interrupting her thoughts or interrupt the flow she has found in her words. She pulls her sleeve down to wipe her own tears away, and I swallow the lump in my throat at seeing her so vulnerable and not being able to do anything, knowing I can't right now.
Her bottom lip quivers as she lifts the mug to her lips once more, taking some more slow and long sips. I smile to myself when her eyes flutter shut at the soothing feeling of it as she drinks it, again breathing in the aromas. I follow her actions, bringing my tea up to my lips and drinking some of the herbal remedy that just for a moment makes me forget why we are both here, instead concentrating on the explosion of tastes in my mouth and the way the warmth of the drink soothes something deep instead. Though I chose not to close my eyes, instead looking over the rim of my glass keeping an eye on Wanda and looking for any changes in her mood.
She breathes a sigh of what seems to be relief, pulling the mug away from her lips and moving to place it on the coffee table next to the couch. When she sits back up, she grabs a cushion from between us wrapping her arms around it as she pulls in into her lap. Wanda continues to fidget with the cushion, her fingers find a fray on one of the corners and it seems to be enough to occupy her and bring her back to the conversation.
"I didn't hit her out of malice, in certain terms of the word. I know I just said it was the anger, which it was. But it was also in defence. She was attacking you, to me, to my friends. In my mind, in that moment when the blind rage took over it was from a place of love. Which sounds really contradicting I know but I was getting so frustrated with her that we had to continue to defend that your past is a factor to how certain things trigger you or why you go about life a certain way. And she wasn't listening, she was trying to defend her words, her actions. She saw you as a person who was weak and fragile when it's the complete opposite. You are so strong and optimistic and so much more."
"And the words she was saying. I couldn't keep letting her be so disgusting. In my head, as she was saying those words I didn't see Yelena. I saw a person who was aiming to do harm, a person whose only goal was to hurt someone they were meant to care for. I saw someone from my past as well as yours and when the image of Yelena stood in front of me disappeared and I saw those people there instead, saying those things. It was like the moment I had been waiting for, to defend myself and defend you fell into tandem and so I hit her."
"Now I know it's bad if I say it, but it felt good in the moment. It felt good to be able to retaliate, to defend, to someone who was doing so much harm with just her words. My therapist says that because I have been subject to such emotional abuse through so many years of being with Vision, having to play the perfect housewife role. Take what he gave without giving back. Give my whole self to someone who barely gave me the time of day. She said that victims of abusive relationships, whether physical or emotional or anything in between, sometimes find it hard to stay with reality when they are put in a situation when they are put back in those conditions. She says that people can fall back into their roles easily if the circumstance is right, or they can push back because they have been freed from those conditions for time enough that they have been able to make some realisations about the past abuse."
"She said since my split with Vision, and just being a mother to my boys, working and enjoying time with my friends. I have been able to face some of the realities of how my relationship with him was less than a relationship and more of an ownership. In his eyes he owned me because I am a women, I was his wife and I fell into that role so easily to keep him happy because if you love someone you do what you can to make them happy and if that was not fighting back when he said and did things then that's what I thought you did. I don't like to say I was naïve for always giving in to him because when you are put through years of that abuse and made to feel less than human it's not naivety but its condition. But I still think maybe if the first time he manipulated me, or said because I am his wife it is my duty to go to sleep with him when he was in the mood, maybe if I had pushed back and fought I wouldn't have gone through years of what I can only describe now as torture."
"And that's why I hit her. Because I had the opportunity to get out of that situation, stop it from being a repeat occurrence. Stop it before it could grow into something more. And yes the anger, and the rage was just an accelerant to the fire that has been a burning ember for years but the fact that I could finally defend myself, defend you was what finally made that little burning ember into a raging fire. And I know what I did was wrong, and I knew that it would have an effect on you finding out what I did. That's why I didn't want to tell you I didn't want to see me as some kind of monster who hits people, or someone who isn't able to keep a handle on things and turns to violence because that's not who I am. I didn't know how I could bring it up, there was never a right time because you were already feeling and going through so much and I didn't want to add to it. I once again thought I was defending you in some way. Defending you from your own feelings. And for that I am truly sorry. Your feelings are yours and yours alone, and although I will do everything to protect you, I should have told you and let you decide how you would react and handle the news."
She looks up with me with tears in her eyes, her bottom lip trembling.
"I am truly sorry Y/n, I really deeply am. I should have told you about this and about Tony telling me that you can't have children, maybe we wouldn't be here right now. Maybe you wouldn't be here listening to me apologise again and again and again about my actions and about my decisions. I just, I am so ashamed of everything. The pain I have caused you and no apology is ever going to take that away. I don't think I will ever be able to apologise enough to make any of this in the tiniest bit okay because it will never be okay. We both know that."
She sucks in a deep breath, squeezing the pillow tightly as she lets more tears fall but is quick to wipe them away.
"God, look at me. I'm a mess and I haven't even explained why I did what I did, with what Tony told me. I am here to lay it out all on the table. I am here to lay all the cards on the table and let you make a decision on what you do with them. And here I am crying over something I did to you, and here you are just letting me talk. You just listening and take it all in, letting me blubber and look a fucking mess about it all. That is why you are so fucking good, your heart is so fucking good. Give me a minute and I'll lay everything down about the Tony thing."
"You don't need to." It is the first thing I know I can say that won't disturb what she has been saying.
"No, I do. So just give me a minute to gather my thoughts." She waves her hand in front of her face trying to dry her eyes.
"No Wanda, you don't need to explain anything about it because I know what you did came from a good place." She nods quickly, swallowing the lump in her throat as she lets a few more tears slip.
"I really came here fully prepared to explain everything, even things I have done or said before this. My therapist said it would be best if I lay it all on the table, let it all out and show you why I did certain things, and that I needed to be okay with any outcome that occurs. And now here you are saying I don't need to go on, which means you have probably already made a decision or whatever and I think that scares me more than having you make it once I have said my piece."
"Well before you go into a spiral, my sister may have given me a few words of advice, and a few sisterly stern ones thrown in in-between yesterday." She presses her lips together, wiping her face slightly harshly to clean it of tears. "And let's just say I can see why you did what you did."
"Yeah?" She asks in such a vulnerable way that it breaks my heart a little that I have made her feel so scared of being able to speak to me about things.
"Yeah, I really do. " I take one last sip of my drink, pop it on the coffee table before finally taking a chance and reach forward to take one of Wanda's hands in mine. "It comes from the same place that the whole Yelena thing did. You were defending me. Not from a person but from myself. I mean how can someone bring up that they have been told such a private matter by a parental figure to that person. You were doing your best with a situation you should have never been in. I know, deep down, that you would have told me when you had figured out how to tell me. But I was so worked up at thanksgiving already that I was blinded by what I thought was betrayal that I couldn't see what was right in front of me, the thing that made most sense."
"You felt betrayed?" Wanda bites her lip at the thought and I am quick to shake my head with a soft smile.
"No, I know now that it wasn't what I was feeling at all. You know I find it hard sometimes to define what it is I am feeling or to distinguish between my emotions and when I am already emotional that task becomes a mere impossibility. It wasn't betrayal that I was feeling. Me and Dr Raynor have discussed this and deep dived into at length this past week or so and with her help and a little forced facing reality from her, I can now say for certain that I was scared."
"Uhm. You were scared?" She looks down at her fingers as they continue to pick at the loose fibres on the cushion.
"Yeah I was scared of what would happen next. I had so many thoughts going around my head that day but the moment I learnt you knew I couldn't have children the biggest and scariest thought was that you were going to leave. I thought that you would question why I hadn't told you that information before we got serious. I thought that you would be angry that I had kept if from you for those few months we had been getting to know one another. I thought you would leave accusing me of not trusting you with such information. I was just scared that you would look at me differently and that it would be enough to know that you were too good for me."
"I would ne.." She stops for a second reaching her other hand out to mine, grabbing it, giving both of them a squeeze. "Sorry to interrupt but I would never leave you because of something like that."
"I know that deep down, but the feelings are so real and so scary. Not having kids is a deal breaker for some people, and a lot of the time people talk about it and minds are changed or compromises are made but in my situation. In our situation I can't give you that."
"Honey, who said I wanted kids? I already have two. And I mean yes I would love to have children with you, but only if it's something you want. And there are so many ways in which we can have that. It's not something I am worried about because it wasn't ever an important factor for me. Not saying that it isn't important to you, but we would have eventually had this conversation and the fact that you can't carry them would have come up. However, this is not what we are here to discuss but I hope you know now that it was never, and never will be a deal breaker for me. We have the twins. We don't have to have more, or we can, but that is something ... if you want ... when the time is right ... we can talk."
"After Evie I am not sure where I stand but I was terrified that we would get so far down the road, get so far into our relationship that you finding out I couldn't give you something that you might want would destroy everything we have. I wanted to tell you I did, I truly did but I didn't know how to say 'hey Wanda by the way I can't have kids'."
"Well not like that, that's for sure." We both giggle at her comment, smiling softly as we take a moment to stare at each other. "Y/n I love you, so fucking much. So much so that when you hurt I hurt. I feel awful for not bringing up the fact that Tony told me but I didn't want you to feel that pain of not being able to tell me yourself, I didn't want you to feel that pain of betrayal that Tony has caused. I didn't want you to feel these nasty and down right harmful feelings that you have been having. And I failed in that. But I thought it was all coming from a good place."
"And it was, and today has confirmed everything I think I already knew but needed some time for the fog to clear and to see it all clearly."
"And what's that?"
"That everything that led up to this, everything you did was to protect me. If not from someone but from myself. Everything you did for me was because you love me."
"Yeah I really do love you."
"And I love you Wanda." She looks down at our joined hands before looking back up at me.
"And how are you? Really?"
"I am doing good. Really good actually. I have been having sessions with Dr Raynor every other day, if not daily, because I was all over the place and she thought it was necessary we do some intense sessions and get things talked about, out in the open, all cards on the table as soon as possible rather than leaving them to fester for a week between sessions. She says I have made great progress through the years of going to her but I never truly confronted certain things and I allowed what we know to be my triggers to control me. So for instance when you hit Yelena it wasn't a direct threat towards me but I still let my mind warp into that and that's why it got at me so much when it shouldn't have. She said that I need to learn better coping mechanisms and we need to distinctively lay out each of my triggers with an exact reason of why they occur so that when something is to happen that isn't a direct threat to me, it doesn't cause me to become triggered."
"It's about being more in control of my own feelings, emotions and reactions. Everything that comes with triggers. I have to be in control and not them and although it has been hard work, and will continue to do so I can already see a lot of positive progress. And what about you Wanda, how are you?"
"Yeah I am really good. My therapist is showing me that my choices and behaviours have been learnt from my relationship with Vision and we are looking at how many of them I can change, overtime, and how many I have to learn to be in control of. Like you with your triggers, some of my behaviours are so ingrained it can take a long time to break them and it will be more about how I can stop them from occurring before they happen or what to do if they do end up occurring."
"So we are both making progress in our own selves."
"So it seems." She looks down at her finger as it traces over the back of my hand and I smile at the familiar feeling. "So where does this leave us?"
"I think I know where I stand but where do you stand?" She looks back up to me, a scared but sincere smile on her face before she takes a deep breath.
"I want, no wrong words. I would like, and I feel like, we are both doing amazing in our self growth and in making sure we work on ourselves for ourselves but also for each other. And I think, I hope, that we can continue to be an us. Maybe not as we were before, we can take it slow. Go on dates, spend the weekends at each other's places instead of every day making it feel like we had already moved in together before having those big important conversations. I feel, and I know, there is enough love for one another that we can continue to work on ourselves, and work on us and be there for one another. I want to spend the rest of my time showing you the love I speak of. I just want you."
"You took the words right out of my mouth." She smiles at that and I am quick to continue. "But I want us to promise each other something. I want us to promise that we will continue to work on ourselves. I want us to continue to go to therapy as long as we need even if it's years from now. I want us to be working on ourselves to be the people we want ourselves to be. Not what we think the other person wants us to be, but truly the person we want to be. If we just push that to one side then we are just going to end up back in this vicious cycle. We can't do that to each other."
"I promise Y/n. Sorry you were starting to ramble and I know you enough to know that you would have just continued to repeat yourself in as many ways as possible." I chuckle as she moves to sit directly in front of me, our knees tough as she slowly lifts her hand to cup my cheek. "I promise to continue to work on myself, and go to therapy, do the work. For myself, mostly, for the boys and for us. You're right we both need to keep doing this for us to work. And I am willing to put in the work. Are you?"
"I promise to continue to put in the work. Be the best of us we can be to make this work. Make us work. Make this family, Me you and the twins, work." I lift my hand to cup her cheek and she easily leans into my touch and I can't help but lean forward to gently press a kiss to her lips. "Just us right?"
My eyes follow the ball as I throw it in the air, catching it and repeating. My feet are on my desk as I lean back in my chair whistling along to the tune of the music playing from the speakers in the room. Surround sound is great for being immersed in the music when you are using it as background noise. I close my eyes, allowing them to rest for a moment while I wait for my computer to finish some file transfers.
I think back to the day before last when I crashed at Wanda's after she rescued me after a night out. We didn't do much that day, I think I slept for most of the day ... and the night ... that hangover was probably the worst one I have had and I do not plan to have one that bad again. Wanda was great, she cooked me dinner that night and breakfast the next morning. She let me crash on the couch for all of yesterday too before I left this morning for work.
I was still feeling a little fragile yesterday so nothing more came of the day. It was much the same as the day before. I slept, I complained about my headache, and I ate food Wanda made. I complained about the fact that I didn't want to come to work today, but I woke up this morning to pancakes and a goodbye kiss so I couldn't complain too much.
However, I now regret falling for the pancakes and kiss, making me think that it was going to be a good day at work. I may have been able to pass off a lot of my work to other people while I was at the farm, but some stuff only the CEO can do apparently so here I am catching up on all the work I didn't know I was coming back to.
Right now my computer is transferring files from a file labelled 'WNA' which just stands for work needing approval to a file labelled 'FIIN' Which stands for Further investigation and/or information needed. Basically this file gives me an excuse to leave my office for a little while as I can talk to the people putting forward these projects.
Usually the head of each department will approve or decline their peoples work that they put forward in a research proposal, but if the whole department wants to work on one bigger project as a unit the proposal has to come to me. It is a company policy that Sarah herself put in.
Something about when a department wants to work as a unit on one job instead of separate people working on multiple different things, it should be down to the CEO to decide if the project is worth the company's time and money. It also means I have to do my own research on the topic, see if there have been other projects out there like this that show the results my team want to investigate and attain. It also means I have to email back and forth with finance and the head of the department as they can only give an estimated cost of the project and I have to see if the finance outcome will be worth the time.
Sometimes we have approved things that have lost us a few million. Science is about trying to find new things everyday, in every single branch of science not just R&D, but sometimes the cost of failing can be huge and we are just making sure that if the project does fail to provide the results the cost won't set the company back or affect our assets and investors too much.
Basically it's just shit I gotta do to cover my back and the companies back from anything and to show we followed every rule and procedure. I understand it enough to get these things done but this was always Sarah's thing. I used to love working in the lab doing my own work, or helping others with theirs, but with Sarah gone a lot more responsibility falls on me and I barely get to look in on each department and work with them.
I sit up, opening my eyes, when I hear the computer beep telling me the file transfer is complete. Leaning for the phone on my desk and quick dialling.
"What can I do for you boss?" Mantis's voice rings through and I swivel on my chair to look at the computer screen.
"Mantis, could you let the engineering and physics department know that I am coming down to discuss their project proposal."
"Sure thing boss. Also Miss Maximoff is here to see you, but I don't see her in your schedule."
"You can let her on up, and then clear all my meetings and divert all calls for the rest of the day. Me and Miss Maximoff have plans that were made at the last minute."
"Sure thing boss. I'll let people know you were called in on an emergency meeting or something."
"Thank you Mantis."
"Sure thing boss."
I put the phone down, standing from my chair and loosening myself up after being sat since early this morning. I grab my suit jacket from the back of the chair, putting it on as I head to the mirror in the room to make sure I look important. Unfortunately, with this job I got to look smart and top of my game outside of the office meaning I have to wear suits all day everyday. I would much rather work from home and wear sweatpants and a hoodie, but then I wouldn't get to do the fun part and put on the big scary CEO act when doing this like this.
Ding. The sound of the elevator arriving pulls my attention away from the mirror and I smile when I see Wanda entering the office with a tupperware in her hand with leftovers in it. Drax follows her in and makes his way over to me. His hands reach up to my tie, making sure it's straight before wiping some fluff off my shoulder.
"It is good to see you again, boss. We have all missed your presence." I simple as mine and Drax's attention are brought back to Wanda as she leaves the kitchen.
"So you have given up being camouflage."
"Oh no boss, I still very much continue to become camouflage but it is too good to see you and it would be unfair for you not to see me." We both smile at his explanation.
"Well that is very kind of you Drax. It is good to see you."
"Right, food is in the fridge and the kettle is on. Coffee for you Y/n?" Wanda moves to stand next to Drax as her eyes take in what I am wearing.
"Not quite yet. I have a quick errand to do, down in one of the departments but then my afternoon is free." Wanda nods and as if sensing some invisible tension Drax excuses himself quietly heading back to the elevator.
"Oh, I thought we were going to talk." I rest my hands on the side of his shoulders.
"We are, but I just got to do this thing really quick. I promise it won't take long."
"Okay, sorry. I kinda just mentally prepared on the elevator journey up." She chuckles before looking thoughtfully at me. "Am I able to join you in this errand? You know, watch you play the big bad CEO role?"
"The way you said that tells me that you don't just want to see what I do for work." I raise a brow as she blushes a little, giving a small shrug of her shoulders.
"So what if I want to see you wearing a suit, playing boss, looking all dapper." Her hands run up and down the jacket lapels.
"Mhmm sure thing." I use my finger and thumb on her chin to tilt her head back slightly as I lean down to give her lips a soft kiss. "Come on miss horny pants, I have a job to do."
"Horny pants?" Wanda scoffs a little as I start to head towards the elevator looking over my shoulder at her. "I am not miss horny pants."
"Whatever you say ... Miss horny pants."
~~~~~
The elevator doors open on the floor dedicated to the engineering and physics department, and I button up my jacket as I look at Wanda. I told her I was going to put on the big scary boss act first of all so she should just watch for a minute. She said that she would definitely be watching. I usher Wanda to follow me as I head to the main lab where I am sure to find the head of the department as they like to be involved with each of their employees' work, very hands on and very practical.
Also very smart.
I clear my throat as I enter the room, and all heads in the room turn to look at me and I have to hide a smirk when I see a terrified smile on the face of the person I am here to see. They make a racket as they drop a few tools onto the work top, making themselves jump and make more noise as they try and organise them so they aren't all laying under one another.
I have to hold in a smile when he stutters something to one of the lab techs, pointing a shaky hand to the tools and wiping the back of their hand across their forehead. He then shakily wipes his hands on his pants as he starts walking towards where I am standing, one hand resting over the other against my belt buckle, but not before tripping over his own feet. He looks to the floor to see what he tripped on, cursing when he realises there was nothing there before coming to a sudden halt before he walks into me.
"Hi, hi, uhm, miss ... miss ... Miss Y/l/n. Welcome to, uh, the lab. It's a pleasure to see you and have you here in my department. Which I mean is your department because you are the big boss, CEO boss woman, and I just oversee. Mantis let me know you were coming so I did try to prepare a little but you'll have to excuse the mess we were just finishing up after some simple titrations and stuff for a bit of fun." He clears his throat the moment he stops talking looking like he would rather be anywhere but with me right now.
"The mess is excused Dr Fitz. Yes I am down here today to review real time what you have put forward in your project proposal. It seems like a very good idea that could have great potential in many different applications." I see him smile for a second before it drops and his eyes dart to wands before moving to look back at me. "And as you can see Dr Fitz I have a guest here with us today. She wants to see how, in her words, a real lab works. So can I assume you are going to do your very best to accommodate her wishes as well as show me what you would like me to approve your funding for?"
"Right, yeah. Of course. Sorry how rude of me to both of you." He holds out his hand and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from smiling and continue to look a bit more stern as I reach out to shake his hand momentarily before he turns to Wanda to do the same thing. "It's wonderful to meet you miss ..."
"Maximoff. Miss Maximoff." She smiles kindly at him and he smiles back as he continues to shake her hand and she looks down at the action and he quickly releases her hand.
"Sorry. If you would like to both come this way, I'll show you our idea and how we think we are going to go about being able to produce a better formaldehyde detector than we have ever seen. So great that it's going to be able to pick up teeny tiny little particles in a mass of particles." He turns around as we reach one of the lab desks holding his finger and thumb so close together there is nearly no gap to represent how small he is talking. "Like 8 parts per billion small. It seems unfathomable to be able to do so but we did the maths and we have a few working theories on how we can achieve this."
"Formaldehyde?" Wanda repeats quietly her brows slightly scrunched in thought.
"Ah, yes formaldehyde." Dr Fitz looks at me and I give him a nod as I look down at Wanda, and he taps the table and a projection pops up that he pushes to the side. "Formaldehyde, Miss Maximoff, is a very common VOC; known as CH₂O, and is the most basic of all the aldehydes. Which is short for Volatile organic compound. Which in layman's terms is a gas that is released by something that can have adverse effects to both the short and long term of human and environmental health. Especially humans because they are in common everyday things, such as paint and some synthetic clothing."
"So you're saying the smell of fresh paint is actually a dangerous chemical?"
"Yes exactly and that is why it tells you on the tin that you need to ensure airflow. It's why if you paint a room without airflow you get dizzy, which is the short term effect. So, Miss Maximoff, if you are planning to paint any rooms soon make sure you leave a window and the door open."
"Right. Sorry I interrupted, continue your explanation to Miss Y/n."
"Right, so we are thinking about using aerogels." Dr Fitz brings up more projections that illustrate what he is saying as he is saying it. "So in theory if you can precisely engineer the shape or the morphology of the holes in the aerogel, by making the filaments between 0.08 mil and 2.5 millimetre thick we can create a highly effective sensor. We will need to ascertain which thickness between the two, including everything in between is the best thickness to do so. But in theory we can create a sensor that uses less power to run than a normal VOC sensor but is a lot more sensitive."
"I feel like I am getting a science lesson." I chuckle as Wanda's eyes look over the projection trying to understand what Dr Fitz is saying. "You guys just came up with this, like off the top of your heads?"
"Sort of. My wife, Jemma, who works in the environmental side of things, was painting the kitchen and the smell of the paint was making me dizzy. I wanted a way to measure the amount of formaldehydes in the air, and normally you would use a spectrophotometer however I don't have the equipment at home. So it got me thinking, how do we know that the amount of VOCs in our home isn't toxic?"
"Hence the idea for the sensor was born." Wanda politely interrupts as her hand reaches out to the projection, moving the picture of the organic structure up and down before putting her hand through it to see if there is a screen.
"Okay so you've told me what you want to pursue but can I ask why you want this to be a departmental project instead of assigning one or two people onto it?" I hate having to play the CEO role because I would just give him the funding now but I have to ask these questions to cover my back more than anything.
"Well there is a large 2.42 millimetre difference between the minimum and maximum thickness of the filaments being used and each of them has to go through a various amount of testing and experimentation and it is a lot of work for just one or two people and the time it would take for this to be complete would be a ridiculously long amount of time. From our theory the process to make the aerogel, the way we need, can take a little while and with the incorporation of semiconductors we have to find a way to actually incorporate them. It is a lot easier to have a team of 20 people working on this to keep the work flooring than one or two who could be stuck on one thickness for months."
"And what's all this in layman terms." Wanda says shyly as she looks at the screen.
"Basically we are making a super strong detector to keep people safe from harmful chemicals." Fitz explains easily as he pulls up a picture of what the detector could look like.
"Okay then. I think I've seen enough." Fitz swallows at my nonsense tone as his eyes dart to the screen than to me multiple times, I can't stop the smile that grows as I let my body relax and put my hands in my pocket. "Dr Fitz I hereby give you permission to advance with this research and development, and will have a limit of £16 million a year set out by me and the head of finance. Should you need additional funding you must have a written request with reasoning before you can proceed further."
"Add in all the English tea and coffee I need and we have a deal."
"So, if I add that into consideration and slightly up the budget to accommodate that, would you be happy to begin your work?"
"Certainly."
"Good. So any further questions Dr Fitz, not related to your English tea and coffee?"
"No, no, none. Wow okay. Thank Miss Y/l/n. Thank you very much. We won't let you down." He smiles excitedly as he hugs me tightly for a second before mumbling something to himself and turning around to his team. "Okay. Listen up! We are going to be starting our Frozen smoke project as soon as we can. So side-line all other work and let's begin. We need to start pasting and freezing drying the graphene ASAP so we are without delay. Is everyone clear?!"
"Yes, Dr Fitz." I watched with a raised brow impressed and how he can go from someone worried to impress the boss to the scary boss.
"So I assume that frozen smoke is the name of your project?" Fitz does a movement with his hand and another projection pops up in front of him that shows the project proposal.
"Yes Miss Y/l/n. It is another name given to aerogels." He says as he types on air removing the name that says TBC to Frozen Smoke.
"Perfect thank you Fitz. Now would you be so kind as to give Miss Maximoff a tour of the lab before you actually start on your project?"
"Yes, yes. Of course." He smiles at Wanda waving her to follow him, and she does so easily with a wide smile on her face. "Sorry to sound so forward Miss Maximoff but do you have children, only because we can make something that you and them can make and have fun with. If not, we can look at doing something else."
"I do in fact have two. Twins."
"That's lovely. Me and Jemma have one, a daughter. Her name is Alya. She enjoys this one so I am sure your boys will too."
"That's a beautiful name."
"Thank you." They both smile fondly at the thought of their children before Fitz taps the table and brings up a projection of a paper plane.
"We are making a paper plane?"
"No, we are making a motorised plane launcher. We need a few wires and motors and that but I can provide you with everything you need to take home with you to make one for each of your boys."
"Amazing, so how do we do this?"
~~~~~
"I swear I felt like I was in high school again with all that science stuff he was throwing at us." I chuckle as me and Wanda enter my office and I throw my jacket on the couch now not caring about it creasing because I have no more meetings today. "It was really sweet of him to show me the whole paper plane launcher thing."
"Yeah it can be like that. But what they are thinking of doing is complicatedly simple and could help save a lot of lives or at least help to stop health effects caused by the gases. But enough science talk, I saw you walk in here with a tupperware and I am determined to have a full stomach before we get to talking."
"I did and it is chicken Paprikash. I brought enough for us both to enjoy." She smiles sweetly at me before making her way over to the kitchen door. "Now would you like that coffee I offered up earlier?"
"I would love to. You know I can do that, technically you are a guest and you should sit on the couch while I do that." She raises a brow at me.
"Nope, I will do it. You sit down. Anyway, I don't think we can class me as a guest anymore when I've made more than one trip to this office. Specifically sitting on that desk right there." She points at the desk waving her finger cheekily. "It's basically a scandal, the CEO caught eating out her girlfriend on her desk. I can see the headlines now."
"Fine, fine. So you're not a guest. But still you don't have to make it. I can." She shakes her head and gives me a pointed look.
"No, you sit and relax. I will be back."
"Yes ma'am." I give her a cheeky salute as I loosen my tie and fall back to sit on the couch.
"I won't be long, then we can eat and have a drink ..."
"Before we talk." She gives me a smile I can't quite decipher.
I can't help the smile that pulls at my lips as I look down at her, her head resting in my lap, eyes closed, an ever so soft rhythmic snore so quiet I can't complain and it's more cute than anything.
Her body curled up as comfortably so she can fit her body on the couch. One of her arms wraps around my back, squished between me and the back of the couch, her other arm draped over my knees while I sit criss-cross applesauce on the couch resting myself in the corner.
I fiddle with the ends of her hair between my fingers, loving the feeling of how soft it is and how it flows over my fingers so nicely. My other hand under the top of her shirt continues to scratch the top of her spine, that I started while she was awake and I would feel bad if she was to wake up because I stopped. I think it is what managed to lull her to sleep, in between her hangover and her overall tiredness.
My finger runs over some uneven skin, and I follow it down as far as I can before following it back up only stopping when she twitches slightly at the contact. She twists her body around, her lips smacking together as she is now facing me, her forehead resting against my hip, and her other arm wraps around me. I'm now trapped in her arms. Not that I mind.
I press my lips together at the feeling of her being so close to me again, trying to keep my emotions at bay for a little while longer and just bask in this moment. My finger goes back to tracing around the top of her back, every now and again my finger runs over the rough skin. I bite my lip when I think about why the skin is so rough, looking down at her with a sad smile as I think about everything she has been through in such a short amount of time.
I think back to everything she has told me about and the people she has introduced me to, in our little time of knowing each other. A small smile gracing my face as I think back to all the good memories that the two of us have shared these past few months, and the memories of her and the boys getting on like a house on fire.
The smile disappears when I think about how I took advantage of the happiness she was creating, the love she was bringing and her kind-heartedness. I start to think back to all the times I have hurt her, made her cry, made her walk away. And she always comes back, she always tells me it's okay, that she is okay. She always seems to have answers to why and how things went wrong and in turn why she can forgive me. Every damn time.
I don't want to be that person that always has to be forgiven. I don't want to be that person that has to continuously apologise for their actions, their words or anything like that.
I want to be the person that can make someone feel so loved, safe, cared for in their own life that forgiveness isn't a thing that needs to be given regularly, or apologise to leave my lips every time I do something wrong.
Yet here I am destroying everything good that she brings into my life.
She makes me so happy.
So why does it seem like I am trying to destroy something so good for me? Even if I don't actively know I am doing it until it's done. I don't mean to do it, I really don't but it's like I have no control over it sometimes and I say or do things without any control over those things and they are the actions that end up hurting her the most.
Therapy has been helping but I really don't want to fall back into the same pattern now that she is back, I can't.
I won't.
I feel the arms around me tighten slightly, as a groan leaves her lips before her face buries itself in my stomach. Her legs stretch out as she turns to lay on her back, her hands moving to rub at her face while her eyes very slowly blink open. She smacks her lips together before closing her eyes again as she takes in a deep breath.
"Ow." She moans lowly as she peaks one eye open to look at me, her arm moving to rest over her forehead the other moving to rest over her stomach. "My head feels like it is splitting in half."
"Hmmm, I'm not surprised. Apparently you drank a lot last night." I weave my fingers through her hair, gently massaging at her scalp which seems to relax her a little.
"How is my headache worse now than before?" Her lips smack together as she lets out a shaky breath and she doesn't even have to ask before I am reaching for the water on the table as she slowly sits herself up.
"Here, drink." She raises her brow slightly, her eyes darting between mine and the glass of water.
"Yes ma'am." She fakes a salute before taking the water and taking a few small slips, her eyes closing as she does so. "What is this magical concoction?"
"Water." Her brows furrow as she looks into the glass then to me.
"Did water suddenly become good?" I chuckle, shaking my head as she passes me the glass back and I place it on the table, her head is quick to rest back in my lap.
"Probably not but I am sure anything that isn't alcohol seems great when hungover."
"Hmm, maybe." She mumbles as she rolls onto her side once again facing me with her forehead resting against my hip. "Wanda."
I look down at Y/n, my name a whisper on her lips as she nuzzles her face closer to my front. I don't answer her straight away, my hands moving to weave back through her hair, my other hand once again finding home on her back under her shirt.
"Y/n." I whisper just as softly as she had whispered my name.
"We're okay right?" The question and the way she sounds so small and scared when she asks it makes my heart skip one to many beats and I feel my stomach drop for a second.
"I want us to be okay." I mean it when I say it but I also know I can't say we are okay when we still have a lot to talk about.
"I think we'll be okay." She mumbles as she starts to fall back to sleep, I let my finger trace down the side of her face as gently as I can to not disturb her from her impending slumber.
"Oh yeah?" she nods with a hum as her arms wrap back around me. "How are you so sure?"
"Because we both want us to be okay, so I mean we are both gonna fight for us right?" I smile at her thoughts on the matter, knowing that she is right about one thing.
"I will fight for us, baby. I promise." I feel her squeeze me and I look down to see she is already looking up at me with a dreamy look in her tired eyes. "What?"
"You called me baby." She gives me a very goofy and very tired smile, and I smile right back at her.
"You called me baby first." She hides her face against my stomach with a small groan.
"Oh you heard that." She chuckles as she looks back up at me and I use my finger to push some displaced hair back behind her ear as her cheeks go a light shade of pink as I look down at her, my bottom lip between my teeth.
"Oh yeah, I heard it." I trace my fingers over her brows as they scrunch together as she lets out a small maybe slightly embarrassed chuckle. "It was cute."
"Psh, stoooop." Her whole face flushes as he once again hides it against my stomach and I can't help the laugh that escapes.
Her body vibrates as she chuckles along with me, continuing to hide her blush as she does, and I just watch her enjoy the moment as my fingers go back to playing with the ends of her hair. I am savouring these moments as much as I can, trying to remember every single detail I can about the way she looks.
The few small freckles sprinkled over her nose, a few moles dotted down her neck. Her sharp jawline, the way in which it just makes me want to trace my lips over it, the way it makes me feel some kind of way when it looks so defined at certain angles. She turns her head to look at me, her eyes lighting up as she sees me already looking down at her.
My eyes flick left and right as I take hers in. Never failing to take in how they look so different in different light. Her heterochromia is something that I sometimes forget she has. Not in a bad way. But it's one of those things where you get so used to seeing it that it just becomes normal and then one day you truly look and you're just like wow, that is truly beautiful.
Not saying us, those with both eyes the same colour aren't beautiful but it's one of those things that reminds you of the person you love. It's one of the many things about the person you love that you don't appreciate or think about every day but once you take it in, take a moment it allows a feeling of appreciation and love to wash over you. It gives you a moment to truly appreciate the person standing, or laying, before you. For me, it's Y/n's eyes but for others it could be someone's freckles, or someone's smile, or a small blemish on their skin, maybe a scar that you can't help but run your finger over, or the way their hair falls past their shoulders.
Just something that becomes so normal but it's something that truly encompasses the totality of their beauty. It's that thing that when someone asks 'what's your favourite thing', it's the one you want to keep to yourself. No one else can have it because it's yours.
You get me?
"Where did you just go?" Her angelic voice brings me back to earth as she reaches her hand up slightly to cup my cheek.
"Sorry I was away with the fairies."
"Well welcome back from fairy land." I roll my eyes at her cheeky smile.
"You should sleep. You look exhausted." I boop her nose as her jaw drops and she takes on a slightly offended look. "Beautiful as always but exhausted."
"Hmm, good save." She looks up at me sleepily, her hand going from my cheek to the back of my neck gently pulling me down. "I want a kiss."
"Oh you want a kiss?" I raise my brow as she slowly nods her head puckering her lips.
"Mhmm, my lips have missed yours. So I require a kiss to remember how they feel against mine." I roll my eyes as she starts making kissing noises. "My lips are losing patience."
"If you weren't so cute I might be put off kissing you at this act." She gasps her eyes opening as her brows scrunch together.
"That's rude."
"And the act is cringy so stop or no kiss." Now she juts her bottom lip out faking small sniffles as she looks up at me with puppy dog eyes. "I guess that's a little better."
"Are you going to stop attacking my acting and kiss me or are you going to let me go to sleep grumpy." she now just pouts at me with sad eyes and I chuckle softly as I lean down.
"I would never deny you a goodnight kiss." I lean down so my lips brush hers as I mumble against them. "Though it is the middle of the afternoon, so I guess it's a good nap kiss."
"Whatever type of kiss it is, can we get on with it." She mumbles against my lips.
"I guess we can."
I smile into the kiss as it starts. Her hand is still on the back of my neck keeping me in place as I move my hand to hold her jaw. I feel her experimentally run her tongue over my lips and the electricity that runs down my spine has me opening my mouth easily to let her in. The rush of feeling her tongue start to explore pushes me to deepen the kiss, also my tongue pushing back against hers fighting for some form of dominance.
She gives in slightly allowing my tongue to win and I get the opportunity to explore her mouth. God I've missed this. I move my other hand to cup the other side of her jaw and tilt her head back so I can kiss her easier. I feel her smile into the kiss and I can't help but do the same as we both pull away slightly to allow us to take a second to breathe.
Her eyes flicker open as she rubs her lips together, my thumbs rubbing small circles on her cheeks as my eyes are stuck on the way her tongue runs along her bottom lip before her teeth pull at it. I lean back slightly but she simply follows me and moves to rest on her elbows and I don't get a second to think before she pulls me into another searing kiss.
My eyes shut as I just allow the feeling of her lips against mine to take over. I don't even fight it as her tongue once again pushes past my lips and starts to explore my mouth. I moan slightly as she sucks on my tongue and her hand on the back of my neck grips tighter against me as she keeps our mouths together.
A few seconds later she starts to pull away, pulling my bottom lip with her before releasing it. She brushes her nose against mine, as both our eyes open to meet.
"Wow." I whisper between us.
"I've missed that." She gives me another quick kiss as I smile at her words. "Sorry, I can't help myself. Your lips are so kissable."
"Hmmm, I'm not complaining." We both smile as she kisses me a final time before she lays her head back into my lap.
"Good to know I'm still the top in this." I gasp as I gently hit her arm, not even thinking about it until I've done it.
"Shit, I'm sorry I didn't me...." I am quickly hushed by her lips on mine again, in a very quick but soft kiss, and I raise my brows at her as she giggles.
"Sorry I just wanted to stop you from going on a ramble before I could say that it's okay. I'm okay." I bite my lip at her confidence in her answer and her hand finds home on my cheek. "So we don't get into a deep conversation all you need to know is that the therapy is working and I am in more control of my reactions then I ever realised I could be, you playfully hitting me like that isn't going to be a trigger issue anymore."
"I'm proud of you baby." Before she can reply to that my mind goes back to what she said a second ago. "Wait, what do you mean I can't top you?!"
She stifles a laugh as she shakes her head, "Oh baby you could never top me."
"Uh, yeah I could."
"No baby, no you couldn't."
"I can and one day I will."
"Sure, sure. The day you top me is the day pigs learn to fly." My jaw drops as she giggles, I scoff with a roll of my eyes.
"And why do you think I can't top you?" I cross my arms with a raised brow trying to ignore the way I feel a spark of electricity as she sits up to have her lips ghosting mine.
"Because baby, you love the way I can pull orgasm after orgasm out of you, saying my name like a prayer over and over and over again. You love the way I feel so much. You're my pillow princess. You could never top me because you would want to be rewarded for being so good at getting me off. And I would reward you so good I'd put you to sleep." My breath hitches at her words and I feel my face go red and she giggles as she lays back down. "See, even my words have an effect on you, you could never top me."
"Whatever." I push her back down. "I could definitely top you if I want to."
"If you wanted to? Baby you've had lots of times where you could have switched it up but you love the way my fingers make you feel so good. You make it sound like you allow me to top you."
"And what if that's the case?" She hides a laugh behind a cough before smiling up at me.
"Even if that was the case, which it is not, you would have shown that side of you by now somehow. A top can't play bottom for so long because they love to be in control. Losing that control throws us off and can actually make us a little uncomfortable if it goes on too long without that control."
"Hmm so what you're saying is you know I am not a secret top because I don't have the need for that control." She hums with a smile.
"Exactly, you would rather give up control then be the one in control. Unlike me who needs the control to feel comfortable."
"I guess that makes sense. But I could still top you." That makes her laugh with a wide smile
"Sure you could. Maybe in your dreams." She chuckles a little. "I can't believe we are talking sex and tops and bottoms when I only happen to be here because I apparently drank too much."
"I mean there is kind of a reason you drank so much and ended up here."
"Oh yeah? Why's that?" I run my hand across her forehead pushing her hair out of her eyes, and I feel my smile drop slightly as I recall the phone call.
~~~~~
"Hello." I grumble as I answer my phone that has woken me up at god knows what time.
"Hey, Wanda. It's Kate, I am a little itty bit, tiny itsy bitsy, teeny weeny little bit drunk. So like I am so sorry to be calling at this godforsaken hour but we were out with Y/n and we had a few drinks and you know we were having a good time. Oh! I finally made a move on Yelena and I mean wow Wanda she is great with her hands. Like. Wow. She has some talented fingers, but anyway I'm phoning to say some shit kinda happened."
"Huh?" I try to make sense of everything she just said and there is only one thing my mind is pulling from all of that. "You slept with Yelena?"
"Well not really slept with per se as there was no bed involved but yeah we had some fun in the club bathroom and I think I am going to be taking her back to mine once the night is over. Which it is and I am phoning to tell you why we are calling it quits now."
"Hmm good for you two." I slowly sit up with a groan rating against the headboard. "What has happened?"
"Well you'll never guess who we managed to run into tonight. You know New York is a big mother fucking city and the one person that we ran into was probably the person we least expected. We were at one of them 24 hour diners all of us wanting a burger or a milkshake. Yelena wanted her weird mac and cheese with hot sauce combo. I went for BBQ chicken wings. Ugh it was like heaven in my mouth. Wait no nothing can beat Yelena but those chicken wings were a close second."
"Kate, Kate, Kate." I say her name a few more times until she stops talking, running my hand over my face as I try to wake up more. "You said that you ran into someone?"
"Oh right. So we sat at this booth in the corner, nice little quiet corner even though we were like the only people there. But Nat wanted to be somewhere she could see all the entrances and exits. That woman is paranoid. Anyway someone walked in, I only know because the bell on the door, and it wasn't until Nat said to keep our heads down that my interest was drawn away from my fries. Of course all of us were curious and looked across. You can't tell someone oh don't look because that's gonna make us all want to look. But guess who we saw. Guess Wanda."
"I don't know, just tell me." I look up at my ceiling in slight frustration about ready to hang up thinking this is just some drunk call.
"Boo, you spoilsport. It was Steph we saw Steph." I sit up at that, my attention now fully on what a drunk Kate is saying.
"Wait, wait Steph was there!" I feel the anxiety in me rising. "What happened?"
"You know. Nothing bad. Which was surprising. She spotted us, it was like she could feel our eyes on her and she looked like she had seen a ghost. She took a step towards us, then a slight step back. I think Nat and Yelena were staying daggers at her, I was keeping an eye as well but too in love with my fries to ignore them so my attention was split. The next thing I know Steph was standing right there."
"Okay and then? Kate I get you're drunk but this is the longest story I ever did hear."
"I'm getting there. So Steph asked if she could talk to Y/n. She didn't look like she had an ulterior motive but you can never know. Nat went to say something, I actually think she was ready to beat the bitch up but Y/n was quick to stop her. Carol went to stop Y/n when she stood up but again Y/n waved her off. She agreed to talk with Steph but she said on her terms which was outside the window where we could see. Steph agreed. So they both went outside."
"Okay. okay just give me a second to take that in before you continue." I lean over to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, then take a big sip of water from the glass that I put there every night. "Okay go."
"Yes ma'am. So they went outside and they talked. I mean we couldn't hear them but we did see them and they literally just talked. Steph kept her distance, kept her hands in her pocket, they were actually conversing. Which is so fucking weird but it was nice to see them being civil. So they talked, for like 20 minutes and then when they were done Steph came inside and Y/n stayed outside. I am assuming to take whatever they had spoken about in. anyway, Steph came to the table and she apologised."
"Huh?"
"Yeah she came up to us and was like before you guys attack me or hit me or anything, which I honestly deserve. I wanted to come in here and apologise to you guys, I know I didn't do anything directly to you but I did hurt Y/n. I damaged her and I broke her down. And I am sure it wasn't easy on her friends and family to see that and .... Uh what did she say oh yeah ... and deal with the consequences of her actions. She said she has apologised to Y/n, which she knows will never make up for her actions and she ... uh she said uh ... she said that she doesn't expect forgiveness or for Y/n to ever want to see her again but she knows that she deserved to be told it wasn't her fault. She told Y/n something like it wasn't her fault for the way Steph treated her, it was all Steph and her actions. We all just kind of sat there in shock before Carol stood up."
"Oh no."
"No, nothing went down. But Carol said that it was a one time thing that this was going to happen and she actually moved and hugged Steph and said thank you. I mean she said she'll never forget what she did to her sister but she said thank you for telling Y/n it wasn't her fault and thank you for apologising. Steph then apologised for intruding on our night and then looked out to where Y/n was. She was the first to notice and she then looked around the diner then back to us. She was like where's Y/n. That's when we realised Y/n was missing."
"What!" I shoot up, sitting up straight with my feet already touching the floor. "Kate, why didn't you just start with that."
"I don't know. But yeah we aren't sure where she is and I thought that maybe she had showed up at yours." My mind reels at the news and I am quick to hop out of bed and head to the front door of the apartment to make sure she wasn't slumped against it.
"No she isn't here." I say worriedly as I open the door to see no one, closing it again to lean against it.
"Shit." My mind goes over the story Kate just told me again and again until it's like a light bulb goes off.
"I know where she is. You guys go home to get some rest, I'll go get her."
"Are you sure?" I nod until I remember she can't see me.
"Yes, yes. You and the girls get home safe and I'll go find her."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I run back into my room to get changed into something a little more appropriate then pyjamas ... sweatpants and a hoodie, of course Y/n's hoodie.
"Yeah. No problem. Message me when you're home safe."
"You're amazing Wanda. I will do byyyyeeeee." With that I hang up the phone and head straight out the door, luckily the boys have been staying with my parents since thanksgiving as I just needed some time alone so I don't have to worry about them when I leave.
I make sure I have everything and I am out the door.
~~~~~
"You said the boys are at school?" I chuckle softly.
"They are, but yeah they aren't staying here. But that wasn't the point of my story."
"Right, right. So where did you find me?" She has moved since I started the story and she is now sitting up with her head resting on top of mine, her hands holding mine in her lap as my head rests on her shoulders.
"I found you talking with Sarah and Evie."
"Oh." I can feel the way she shifts a little at the news. "How did you know where to find me?"
"Because I know you Y/n. You go to them when you don't know what to do, when you want answers. So I figured you were there with whatever Steph had told you. Whether you remember it or not now, it must have been one hell of an apology to get you to sit with your wife and child."
"What was I saying to them?"
"I don't know. I sat on the bench just out of ear shot. I don't think you had seen me come in and I waited until you moved to rest against them to make myself known. I didn't want to intrude on such a private moment."
"I don't really remember much. I think I remember seeing Steph now you've mentioned her but I don't remember what she said."
"Maybe you don't need to remember. You and her talked. You and Sarah talked it through with Evie supporting you. And I think you got the answer you needed from them."
"How can you be sure?" I move my head, hers instinctively moving until we are looking at each other.
"Because you got a visit from a little birdy." She smiles at the thought, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip.
"She visited me." She whispers out as she shifts her body so she can rest her head on my shoulder.
"She did baby. It was beautiful to watch. And I'm glad you have someone that you can talk to when you can't talk to anyone else."
"I miss them." I squeeze her hands bringing them up to kiss the back of them.
"I know you do, baby." She hums against me as I feel her get heavier as she relaxes more. "You've just heard a lot, you should try and sleep. I know you're tired."
"M'not tired." She mumbles into my shoulder.
"Go to sleep."
"Go to sleep." She mimics me but with not much effort as I feel her body sink against me more her voice barely audible. "I love you."
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Carol, get back here!" I holler as I use my hand on the end of the bannister to swing around the corner and propel myself towards my sister.
"You'll never catch me ali....ahh"
I don't let Carol finish her sentence as I manage to catch up with her and tackle her from behind. What I don't think about are the consequences of my actions and how close we both are to the couch as I can't stop our momentum before my legs hit the back of it. Continuing to hold onto Carol, we flip over the back of the couch and I feel my back hit the front edge of the couch before we both tumble to the floor. Carol initially landing on top of me, pushing the air out of my lungs, on instinct my arms let go of her from the sharp pain in my back as I hit the floor.
Carol ends up falling off of me as we both come to a very sudden stop. I can hear laughing in the background but also Carol groaning next me a little but I can also hear the way my lungs struggle to pull in air from being winded. I close my eyes as I try to concentrate on the feelings of my lungs filling with air, making sure I can feel it fill all the corners of my lungs but I sputter from the sharp pain as I do so.
"Shit." Is all I hear as I roll over slowly pulling myself onto my hands and knees as I blink rapidly when I see stars in my vision.
"Y/n you good?" I feel a hand on my back at the sound of Yelena's voice and all I can do in return is groan in pain.
"Sit up for me." I feel hands on my shoulders slowly pulling me back to sit on my calves as I open my eyes, sighing in relief when I don't see stars but a worried looking Nat in front of me.
"I'm okay, just super winded is all." The strain in my voice is evident as my lungs finally decide they want to start working again.
"That was a dumb idea." I breathe out, earning a small chuckle of relief from the girls around me.
"Ya think!" I look down at Carol who has her arm over her forehead as she just lays there letting herself recover from the fall too.
"You two good. I really don't want to be the one to tell your family you both ended up in hospital because you were acting like children."
"I'm good. Just re-learning how to breathe air into my lungs." I huff out as I lean against the couch, my left arm on the couch cushion and my other hand skimming over my ribs to make sure I didn't break any of them.
"Yeah, yeah I'm good too. Just accounting for all my ribs and bones making sure none of them are broken." I lean down poking her in the side and when she glares at me swatting my hand away I huff out a laugh.
"You're fine." Carol flips me off as I climb to sit on the couch leaning all the way back and letting myself sink into it as much as possible.
"So you're both good?" Me and Carol both hum out a yes as Carol finally pulls herself up from the floor joining me on the couch and giving me a nudge with her shoulder.
"You really have to tackle me like that?"
"Yup."
"Really?"
"Yup."
"Is that all you have to say?"
"Yup."
"Or are your lungs still burning and that is all you can say?"
"Mhmm yup." Carol leans back and lets herself sink into the couch as Yelena and Nat both look at us amused.
"So is this a common occurrence of sibling rivalry?" Nat asks as she picks up her wine glass, taking a sip and looking between me and Carol over the rim.
"Yeah, pretty much. She's my older sister who is this big bad ass in the military. I have to bring her down a peg or two every now and again to remind her that she isn't the best at everything."
"Oh I have to do that with Natasha. She used to pick a fight with people who were mean to me in college about my accent and how I would sometimes struggle with certain American words. She called them bullies but they were just jealous of my intelligence. Anyway, one day when Natasha told me she was going to show this girl a piece of her mind I had to remind her that I was studying neuroscience and that I had enough chemicals in that lab to make someone disappear off the face of the planet if I so please. Not that I would. But the option is there."
"I don't think that is quite the same thing girly, and that's kind of a scary thought that you would know how to do that." Carol raises a brow at Yelena who shrugs.
"I would never do that sort of thing, but like I said I never would do it."
"Carol shoots people out of the sky for a living, so never say never." I shrug as Carol gives me a gentle shove.
"So either Carol is some super human flying machine oooorrr..."
"Air Force Yelena. Carol is in the air force." Natasha pinches the bridge of her nose as Yelena slowly nods her head at the information.
"Huh, that makes more sense than the scientifically impossible."
"Enough talk about killing people and getting rid of bodies I vote we put a movie on." I announce as I reach forward to grab the TV remote off of the coffee table.
"You're the one who mentioned your sister shooting people out of the sky." Nat kisses her teeth as she moves to sit in the armchair resting both her legs over one of the arms.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, whatever. Now what should we watch?" I question as Yelena pours us all a fresh glass of wine.
"What about that movie they made about the plastic blonde doll and her stupid boy toy." Yelena suggests as she sits down on the two person couch to the right of where me and Carol are sitting.
"You mean the Barbie Movie?" The three of us chuckle as Carol asks with humour.
"Yes, yes. That one!" Yelena exclaims as she lays down on the couch to get herself comfortable.
"Sure I am down for that." Nat agrees with ease.
"Sure but we are gonna need snacks." I make a move to get off the couch and make my way towards the kitchen.
I look back at the three of them, smiling to myself as I feel my heart warm at the sight of them talking and laughing with each other. I laugh to myself as I watch Yelena throws a cushion at Carol who is quick to throw it straight back at her. My eyes turn towards Nat who just rolls her eyes unamused as she watches the two of them throw cushions back and forth towards each other. I lean against the doorway of the kitchen letting myself take it all in, take a second to take it all in.
The way the scene in front of me makes me feel happy and warms my heart, making me feel all gooey on the inside makes me realise that I made a good decision to come back earlier than I thought.
I just don't know if it was the right decision.
A good decision doesn't mean it's always the right decision.
I try to not let my thoughts overrun my mind and turn back to the kitchen to finish my mission to grab snacks.
Was this the right decision?
~~~~~
"Are you crying Lena?" We all turn to look at Yelena who is wiping her face with her sleeve.
"Fuck off." She flips us off before turning to look at us with her red eyes and tear stained cheeks. "I did not think the film would make me cry, so we are going to all pretend this didn't happen. Anyway, Carol is crying too."
"Oh shut up." Carol blows her nose into a tissue and we all cringe slightly with a small laugh. "Sorry."
"Maybe we should watch something that won't make us cry." I make the suggestion as I finish my second glass of wine and don't hesitate to fill it up again.
"Yeah, that, uhmmm that sounds good." Yelena sniffles as she sits up to grab a bag of chips before sitting up slightly and pulling a blanket over herself.
"Or we could go out." Nat interrupts the sniffles of the two blondes.
"But it's a Tuesday." Carol sounds confused as she downs the last of her wine.
"Okay, and? We don't have to go out out for a whole night into the morning, but we could go to a bar. You know, music, a few more drinks, no movies that are going to make us ball our eyes out."
"Two for Tuesday night at the club we met." I put forward and Nat smiles.
"Yes. Let's go there!" Nat gets up excitedly then looks down at what she is wearing. "After we have all gotten changed into something nice because sweatpants and hoodies aint it."
"Sure I can get Gabe to go to yours so you two can change, then to the club. What do you two think? Up for some drinks?" Me and Nat look at the too blondes who have finally stopped crying and they nod in unison.
"Yeah it sounds like a good lot of fun." Yelena agrees easily as she stands from the couch stretching out with a groan. "All my muscles are so stiff and I swear my muscles just creaked like an old door."
"Yeah we all heard it from here." Carol laughs as she deflects a cushion thrown her way by Yelena.
"For an old woman you have good reflexes." We all laugh when Yelena isn't quick enough to stop the cushion from hitting her in the face and knocking her back onto the couch.
"I may be older than you, but you still have a lot to learn, kid." Carol says with a humoured seriousness as she looks at me. "I still have a room in this place right?"
"Sure do. You remember where to find it?"
"Sure do." Carol mimics me as she makes her way towards the stairs.
"Wait, she gets a room! What about us?" Yelena whines, as she once again stands from the couch, with a mouthful of chips.
"Because You guys haven't been here enough to have a room, and she is my sister of course she gets a room." I shrug it off as I make my way towards the stairs too. "Give us twenty, maybe thirty, minutes to get ourselves ready and then we can head to your place."
"Will we ever get a room of our own?" Nat raises a questioning brow and I shake my head with a chuckle.
"What am I, an Airbnb? I don't have an unlimited number of rooms in this place." I see the forced pouts on the two of them and roll my eyes. "Maybe you guys can have the spare room one day, or something."
"Yes." The sisters high five each other in celebration and I roll my eyes at them.
"Can't make any promises though."
"Yeah sure. Whatever you say. You go get ready for tonight and try not to think too hard about it." Nat waves me off and I huff out a laugh as I walk back to the stairs catching the last bit of what the sisters start talking about.
"So how are we going to decorate this eventual room?"
~~~~~
"Barkeep, 4 shots of your finest tequila please!" We all turn our heads to look at Yelena who looks between all of us. "What? I like western films."
"Sure you do hun, and we're all in here wearing Stetsons, boots, with guns holstered to our hips." Gamora says as she places four small glasses in front of us, reaching for the top shelf tequila.
"Oh come on Gamora let the girl live her wild western dreams." Yelena folds her arms, huffing a little, as she looks at me a bit grumpily at me for making fun.
"Sure he you go cowgirl." Gamora gives a cheeky wink as she slides each of our tequilas in front of us, before taking my card from my hand. "Guess I am just putting all of this on your tab babes?"
"Of course." Now she gives me a wink as she walks off with my card.
"You two seem close." Nat points out as her eyes move between me and Gamora, with a single very suggestive brow raised.
"Well I've been coming here for years, so you know, you get to know the people who work here."
"You're twenty two, you're like a baby in this place." I kiss my teeth at Nat's observation and look up to Gamora who is making her way back with my card.
"Hi, Gamora." I put on a sweet smile with a matching tone.
"What do you want?" She narrows her eyes at me. "Because this sweet tone and smile you got going on is shouting I have a favour to ask."
"Would you please tell these lovely ladies that we are not sleeping with each other." Nat chokes on her shot of tequila as Carol covers a laugh as a cough and Yelena snorts a laugh.
"Oh wow. What did I do to earn such an honour of having maybe slept with you?" Gamora asks as she pours us all another shot and one for herself.
"You called me babes."
"Ah right. Well bad news ladies, I have never slept with this one so no starting a cat fight at my club." Me and Gamora cheers our glasses before taking our shots together. "Everybody, friends can call friends babes. Right babes?"
"Sure things babes." I reply easily as I cover the top of my shot glass when Gamora goes to fill it back up.
"Okay, well no offence to you, Gamora, but you don't seem to be in Y/n's age range for normal friends so how did you two become friends?" Gamora raises a brow and gives me a 'is she serious look' and I simply shrug at her.
"Firstly, neither do you hun. You ain't a 22 year old from where I am standing, more like 40." Gamora sneers as Natasha gives her a small glare at the poke. "Secondly, she has been coming here since she was old enough to buy herself a drink. Given that it hasn't been very long but you know how you start to build a relationship with your regulars and all. She was a regular, haven't seen her in a while but you fall back into that rhythm that has been created, you know. Or maybe you don't because who goes around accusing their friends of sleeping around just because someone uses an overly friendly term."
"Well that's me told." Nat huffs as she finishes off her second shot and taps her glass down silently asking for another, but Gamora just gives her a raised brow and Nat rolls her eyes. "Look I'm sorry okay. Just being a protective friend is all."
"This is not how I envisioned a night out going when you suggested it Natalia." Yelena gently grabs the bottle from Gamora before filling up her glass again. "You are a stupid suka who just needs to let things be. Just because you and your friends don't call each other babes doesn't mean other friends don't."
"Okay I get it. I jumped the gun and crossed a line." Nat holds her hands up in surrender before grabbing the bottle from Yelena and filling up her glass and downing it quickly. "Look, I am sorry. Can we please just get drunk and enjoy the night."
"You're the one who... you know what, never mind." Carol grabs the bottle taking a swig from it instead of filling up her glass, putting it down and then getting up from her chair. "Do you girls care to dance?"
"Yes, let's loosen up." Nat is quick to follow Carol and Yelena jumps into the seat next to mine wiping the top of the tequila bottle and pouring us both shots before I can stop her filling up my glass.
"I would like to apologise for Natasha's behaviour, she is having what we call girl trouble. Some girl called Mariah, or Mary. Oh no it is Maria. Yes, some woman named Maria who hasn't texted Nat back, or something like that."
"Hmm, guess that makes sense. She is forgiven. How long has she been waiting to hear from this Maria?" I turn my shot glass over when Yelena goes to pour me another one and a Gamora is quick to replace it with a beer bottle.
"Well I know that they hooked up a few times before thanksgiving and then when Nat came to see you she kind of posted those pictures of you two at the club and this girl Maria got the wrong idea."
"Ah. That's not so good."
"No. Anyway she has been trying to get this woman to call her back so she can explain the whole situation because some of those photos, well they looked a little questionable but we also all know you were both drunk and you're those sort of friends that flirt and it goes nowhere."
"Sure, sure. I don't remember her taking any suggestive photos. Just some of us drinking and maybe dancing." I look at the bar as I try and remember what photos Yelena is on about but my mind comes up empty.
"Do you not follow Natasha on Instagram? Geez I thought you would be all over social media." I click my tongue, shaking my head as I take a swig of my beer while Yelena pulls her phone out of her pocket.
"No. I mean I like to keep my private life private, so I don't really do the whole Instagram, and Facebook thing. Well I mean I have a social media team for the company but I don't have a personal account on them."
"What are you? Some kind of hermit?" I chuckle as Yelena waves over Gamora.
"No, I just don't want all the media attention when they link me to the company, and therefore link me to Stark. I don't need that kind of attention. Especially after everything that happened to Sarah and Evie."
"Yes cowgirl." Gamora puts on an old western accent, both hands on the edge of the bar.
"Just some good ole fashioned beer please. And hide the tequila."
"Yes ma'am." Gamora tips her imaginary cowboy hat as she opens a bottle of beer for Yelena. "So the red-head is she seriously that aggressive all the time?"
"Nope, she is just having girl trouble." I explain as I swivel on my bar stool to look at the two older women dancing together with big smiles on their faces.
"Ah, that makes sense. Well I will leave you guys to enjoy your night, but you know if you need anything just shout."
"Sure will babes." Gamora laughs at my cheery voice.
"Have a fun night .... Babes." I give her a thumbs up behind my back before looking at Yelena.
"So show me these suggestive photos." Yelena passes her phone to me and I scroll through a few of the photos on Nat's post. "Oh."
"Yeah oh. I mean to all your friends we know you're friends. So a picture of the two of you sharing a bed, in just your bras and underwear is just a close trusting friendship. Also you were drunk so it's whatever."
"But to Maria it looks like more."
"Exactly, and this girly won't reply to my sister even though she has tried to explain."
"Mhmm, can you get me Maria's number or socials so I can see if I can fix this for Nat. She is obviously torn up about this, meaning this woman might be important to her one day and I don't want some silly drunk photos to ruin that."
"Sure I'm sure Nat will drink enough to knock herself out until tomorrow afternoon and I'll get the chance to go through her contacts for you."
"Although I don't want to question how you will get into Nat's phone I also do. But don't tell me. Just send me the number when you get it and don't tell Nat."
"Yes ma'am." Yelena salutes and I chuckle as I pass her phone back and hold out my hand.
"Care to dance?" I hold my hand out at Yelena who happily takes it.
"Let's dance!"
~~~~~
"Hey is that Kate?" I hear my sister shout in my ear over the very loud and thumping music.
I turn to look over my shoulder, a smile growing on my face as I see Kate in an open leg black dress that seems to sparkle in the light of the club. I wave over at her and a smile grows on her face as she spots me giving a small wave back.
"Yeah I invited her. She is here in New York for a while so I thought why not. She is my best friend after all." I look over at Yelena who has stopped dancing with her sister as she watches Kate make her way over to us.
"No, no. You're up to something." I quickly look at Carol who has a small smirk pulling at the corner of her lips as she looks between Kate and Yelena.
"I don't have any idea what you're on about."
"Uh-huh sure you don't cupid." I gently shove my sister away as I pull Kate into a hug.
"You look amazing!" I say as I pull away from her looking her up and down.
"Thanks. Can't miss the opportunity to dress up a little. And I can see you guys all had the same idea. You all look amazing." Kate looks at the four of us, her eyes staying on Yelena a little longer then one could deem normal.
"Kate Bishop!" Yelena says excitedly as she makes her way over, before getting suddenly shy. "Would you, could I get you a drink?"
"I can't say no to such an offer from such a beautiful woman." The words fall from Kate's lip smoothly and Yelena can't hide the blush that grows on her cheeks.
"Well I have nothing on you Kate Bishop. You are very beautiful too. Now what does the beautiful woman want to drink?" Yelena manages to pull herself together for a good second before Kate links her arm with Yelena's and once again the blonde's face flashes pink.
"Oh wow I don't think I have ever seen Yelena go so red so quickly." Nat mentions as she watches her sister and Kate walk over to the bar.
"I expected your sister to have more game." I look at Nat who tilts her head observing the two girls.
"Yeah, so did I." We all look at the girls at the bar who haven't stopped smiling at one another. "I am never going to let her live this down."
"Oh wow, I didn't think she could get anymore red but I was proven wrong." Carol says surprised as we all watch Yelena go as red as a tomato as Kate confidently places her hand on the outside of Yelena's thigh.
"I never thought Kate would be the confident one with her childlike demeanour." We all hum in agreement with what Carol is saying.
"Well people can always surprise us I guess." I turn to look at the two older women then back at the younger. "Let's leave the two of them alone. We never know where the night might lead."
"See I knew you were up to something. You sneaky little sneak." My sister pokes my side as I shrug.
"No idea what you're talking about."
"Mhmm, sure you don't." Carol and Nat both look at me and I hold my hands up.
"I have no idea what you are trying to insinuate." I grab the two women's hands. "Now let's dance!"
~~~~~
"Owwww." I wake up with a groan, moving my arm up to block the sun that is currently blinding me.
"Oh, you're awake." I hear a voice that makes me sit up straight, but way too quickly and I have to place my hands next to me to stabilise myself, but let out a sigh of relief when the room suddenly goes dark.
"How did I get here?" I open my eyes slowly, wetting my lips as I slowly move to lay back down.
"Well when I was woken up to a phone call saying that you had wandered off and people didn't know where you were, I immediately knew where to find you. Sorry I didn't know they had opened the curtains."
"Hmm. And you were right?"
"Of course I was. I know you, and I knew where I could find you." I open my eyes when I hear something being placed on the table next to me, too see a nice hot cup of coffee and a glass of water.
"Thank you." I groan as I sit up slowly turning to rest my feet on the floor reaching for the water and painkillers placed next to it. "And also I'm sorry. What time did you get the call?"
"It doesn't matter. What matters is you're safe. And it's okay, no need to apologise. We've all had nights out like that."
"No, really. Thank you." I look up to the person with a soft smile as they sit down on the arm of the couch next to me. "I mean it, you didn't have to come find me."
"I know, but I wanted to know you were safe and call me selfish but I felt you would be safest here."
"I understand. And it doesn't make you selfish." I reach out to grab their hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Yeah?" I smile softly, nodding my head slowly.
"Yeah." I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't want to get into the whole thing now, probably not today, as my head hurts real bad and I don't think my brain is computing enough to think two words ahead let alone what needs to be said. That being said, I just want you to know that I love you."
"I love you too.'' Their voice is soft and allows me to relax more as I pull them down to sit next to me.
"I really do love you Wanda." I say so softly I barely think I've said the words but the soft smile on Wanda's face tells me she heard me.
"Can I kiss you?" She looks down at our joined hands, her shyness spilling out of her as I lift her chin with my thumb and finger.
"Although I appreciate why you're asking, you never have to ask to kiss me baby." I barely notice my slip in words as me and Wanda lean forward.
Our lips meet in the softest kiss I've ever had. It's not rushed, there is no lust or hidden agenda behind it. I just feel the pure love that we are both pouring into it. We keep kissing until we have to pull away for air, but we don't pull far away as we rest our foreheads against each other. Our eyes are still closed as we both attempt to pull air into our lungs.
My hands end up on her jaw, my thumbs rubbing up and down her soft skin as I take in the moment. I smile as I peck Wanda's lips a few more times, feeling her smile against my lips as I do. I move my hand down to her chin, holding it between my finger and thumb as I tilt her head up slightly to give her another soft, but not as long kiss before pulling away.
"Is it bad if I suggest just having a day on the couch?" Wanda whispers between us. "I know we have to talk, but I just. I would just love to have a quiet day with you before we open all of that up and get to the serious shit."
"We can do that." I say as we both slowly open our eyes and I feel my heart skip a beat at the love I can see in Wanda's eyes. "Just let me take a shower and clean up first then we can have a lazy day."
"Mhmm, sounds good." She goes to kiss me again but I pull away slightly looking around the room with confusion.
"Where are the boys?" Wanda chuckles as I look back at her still confused.
"It's Wednesday honey, they're at school."
"Oh." I nod as we both chuckle. "Right I need to shower, I stink of night club."
"Yeah, you do." I gasp, holding my hand to my heart. "Hey you said it first, I was simply agreeing."
"Pfft whatever." I say as I stand from the couch but her hand on mine stops me.
"Y/n."
"Yeah." I look down at her, as she looks up at me.
"I love you." I lean down, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.
"Sit anywhere you like." I gesture around the room to Carol as I move to sit on the couch.
"You know for the whole time you've had this place I don't think I have fully explored it. I mean I don't think I have ever been in your office." Carol glances around as she walks to my desk pushing some of the paperwork to one side and hoists herself to sit in the middle of it with her feet on my chair.
"Really, There is literally an armchair and an ottoman right there and you sit on my desk?" I shake my head with a giggle.
"You said sit anywhere, so I am sitting here." Carol shrugs and I decide not to fight with her on it.
"So how are we doing this? You wanna ask me a question and we go from there or you're gonna just sit in silence until I can't handle it and burst into long paragraphs of speech."
"As much as I want to make you uncomfortable by sitting here, on your desk, in silence watching you squirm on that couch because of how you just disappeared on me, I feel like we could be sitting here for a very long time. Now I am a patient person but I am not that patient so I guess we will have to go with the first option."
"That was a very long winded way of just saying I'll ask questions." Carol chuckles as she picks up one of my many notebooks and one of my nice expensive pens, takes the cap off and scribbles something down.
"You're taking notes?" I raise my brow as Carol finishes her quick scribble.
"Well I don't know how much information you're gonna throw at me and as much as I wish I had this awesome memory that would just let me remember it all and allow me to help you. I don't. So I am taking notes in case we talk for hours and then at least I don't have to ask dumb questions and basically make you say it all again."
"Okay well I guess you can ask away." I move to lay down on the couch putting a cushion behind my head then rest my hands on my stomach.
"First question, why do you look like you're in a therapy session on a TV show?" I turn my head to look at Carol who has now put my blue light glasses on, resting them on the end of her nose as her eyes look at me over the rims.
"Because I'm tired and want to lay down."
"Fair." She scribbles something in the notebook before looking back at me.
"So why did you have to leave without telling anyone?"
"Wow jumping right into it I see." I roll my shoulders back as I try to allow myself to get more comfortable.
"Of course. So what happened?"
"You really want to know?" Carol gives me a look over her glasses. "Fine, fine."
"Just take your time." I nod slowly at Carol's words and look up to the ceiling.
"There was so much that happened at thanksgiving. Wanda's dad was a little intense but I expected him to be, but her mom was very defensive and pushed him back into place. Wanda accidentally revealed that she knew I couldn't have children but only because Tony told her not me. Also turns out Wanda hit Yelena and Kate and Natasha didn't tell me. They all just kept it from me because I guess they were scared of how I would react which is fair but time and time again when I think I am getting to a good place all these secrets spill and push me back to a place I don't want to be. I mean how could Tony go behind my back and tell Wanda something so private? How could Wanda not tell me that Tony had told her! Wanda knows how I feel about people being violent to those around me, and I mean Yelena was being a huge bitch but it doesn't mean she has the right to hit her. So then I decided in the moment to just leave and get out of there. I just needed some time to think and be by myself."
"Mhmm, mhmm. Okay and breathe." I look over at Carol who is still writing in the notebook in between taking glances at me. "You just spoke so fast and you said a lot. Let your lungs rest for a second."
"I ... you have nothing to say?" I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion.
"Oh no, I have a lot of stuff I would like to say. But I am asking questions, not giving my opinions ... just yet." She mumbles the last bit as she finally stops scribbling in the book and looks up at me.
"So Wanda knows you can't have children?"
"Yeah."
"But you didn't tell her?"
"No, no, Tony did."
"Right. But you wanted to tell her?"
"Of course I did. That's not something you keep from someone you want a future with for too long."
"Right so you were going to tell her?"
"Yeah. Yeah of course I was."
"You don't sound too confident in that answer."
"I mean I did want to tell her." I look at Carol who just raises a brow at my answer. "I wanted to."
"Wanted is different to going to. You may want to jump out of a plane at 25 '000 feet with only a parachute to slow your fall but it doesn't mean you are going to do it." I look out the window, up to the overcast sky ignoring the way I can feel Carol's eyes boring holes in the side of my head. "Be honest Y/n. Not just with me but with yourself. Were you ever going to tell Wanda you couldn't have children?"
"I ..." I swallow the lump that's building in my throat pulling the end of my sleeves past my hand as I look back to my sister. "I would have done it if we ever got into the conversation."
"Okay and if you never actually got onto that conversation topic because you guys are just happy with having twins. Would you have had the conversation? Would you have brought it up on your own free will?"
"Uhm, I don't..." I feel my bottom lip start to quiver and the corners of my eye start to sting with the build up of tears. "I don't think I would have, no."
"But she is your girlfriend. Your partner. The person you say you love. Now I know that these things are private but how can you say you want to be with someone like that if you can't trust them with something like this. Now I am not saying you had to tell her by now, you guys have only been dating a few months but you knew deep down it is something you would probably never have told her. How is that fair on her?" Carol takes a deep breath as she removes the glasses, placing them on my desk. "Now I am not excusing her behaviour and what she did, and the situation that happened is in no way your fault. But it is also not all hers."
"She said I didn't know what it was like to have kids."
"You've told me that one. Over a frantic voicemail a while back and you didn't answer me for a few days. You two got past that, so don't try to dredge up past stuff and stick with the current."
"Well, yeah, we got past it but it doesn't mean that this situation doesn't bring that back up."
"Get that but this second time around really wasn't Wanda's fault. It's Tony's. He was the one who told Wanda about the whole kid situation and you know what I think."
"What?" I go back to staring out the window hating how much sense she is making about this particular situation.
"I think Wanda was just trying to figure out how to bring up the situation without causing you to have a great big meltdown that makes you run away. But she didn't get the chance, because you figured out she knew. Then you had that meltdown and ran away. You didn't even let her try to explain herself from what I am gathering from you. You just left. Now I get that finding out your partner knows about your lack of child bearing properties without you telling her is a hard blow, but how is that in any way her fault and constitute you just leaving her like that!"
"Well it wasn't just that."
"Right you learnt she hit Yelena after Yelena was a bitch to you. Oh and your friends kept it from you. Once again not completely her fault. Also if that Yelena girl was being a bitch I am glad someone put her in her place."
"But."
"Yeah, yeah I get you're still traumatised from Steph and all her bullshit but you seem to get extremely triggered by anything that is violence even when it is not directed at you and is in fact being used to defend you."
"Yeah but people shouldn't just jump straight to violence."
"I work with a flying killing death machine and I choose to do that. Do you condemn my actions?"
"What?! No, never!" I sit up straight facing Carol worried she actually thinks that. "You're defending the country and the people in it."
"Okay and how is that any different from people defending you?"
"I.. well." I sigh, resting my chin on my palms and resting my elbows on my knees.
"Exactly. I choose to have a job where I kill people for a living, she didn't choose to go out to hit Yelena that day. It wasn't in her plans. Sometimes hitting someone just happens. We can't always control our actions and out of frustration from people not listening or continuing to fight back the next natural action is to hit. I'm sure that once Wanda hit Yelena I am sure she felt remorse straight away."
"How do you know that?"
"Because she didn't tell you. She felt guilty. She felt like she couldn't tell you because of the way you could react and she was proven right when you ran away when you found out about it. I have hit Steph in front of you and you didn't react badly so what is the difference between me and Wanda? We both love you and we were both defending you. So why do I get a thank you hug and why does Wanda get your cold shoulder and a disappearing act?"
"You're my sister."
"Oh and that excuses my actions? Wanda is your girlfriend, she has every right to defend you as much as I do, as do your friends. You can't use your past with Steph as an excuse every time. Yes you have trauma. Yes you have PTSD. But you are also in therapy and I know for a fact that you have coping mechanisms and I know that you know that you can control your reactions better than I have heard you have been. So why are you trying to destroy something that could be so good for you and then making excuses?"
"I thought you said you were only here to ask questions and not give opinions?" I rub my face with a groan looking at Carol through the gaps between my fingers.
"Firstly, I asked why are you making excuses for destroying something that could be so good for you. So question. Secondly I said I wouldn't give my opinion just yet and I never said I wouldn't do it."
"Smartass."
"Just because I am right. Now answer the question. Why are you destroying something so good and making excuses for it?"
"Everything good in my life has always ended so badly and with me in tears. I mean look at what happened to Sarah and Evie. Look what happened when I was younger with our parents. Look at what happened with Steph! Every personal relationship I have had has ended in a fiery pit of death or destruction."
"So what? You're destroying your relationship with Wanda before it may or may not destroy itself? Look, you're my sister and I was put on this earth to be your protector. But I am also the person who needs to bring you back down to earth and give you a worded slap to the back of the head when you are being so fucking stupid. And right now you are being so fucking stupid. From the small amount you've told me about Wanda, the good and the bad, I can tell that this woman loves you."
"Carol..." Carol shakes her head holding a finger in the air to silence me as she clambers off the desk and into my desk chair rolling over the floor until she is within arms length of me.
"No, Y/n you've said your piece. Now just listen. Wanda has let you into her life, into her boy's life. A mother doesn't just let anyone meet her children because children become attached to that person. Now imagine if that person just never showed up again one day, there are only two people those children would blame. Themselves or their mother. And that's exactly what you did to those boys. You just left them that easily!"
"Wanda told them I was on a work trip."
"And she wouldn't have had to do that if you didn't fucking disappear on that family. Wanda trusted you enough to introduce you to her boys. You formed bonds with them. In their eyes you are family. You left your family behind Y/n. And yes I get you were dealing with a lot but the moment it got a little tough, instead of just holding your head high and putting your big girl pants on and dealing with it in private with Wanda later you just upped and left. You can't do that. Not to the family, especially not to those kids."
"But she kept things from me."
"Because she was trying to protect you! She was worried about how you would react to certain situations and she was right to be worried! Yeah she kept things from you but you kept things from her, bit hypocritical if you ask me."
"I just. I want someone who appreciates my need for communication." As soon as I hear the words leave myself I know how dumb it sounds and by the way Carol sighs she has an opinion on it.
"Wanda respects that. She kept the fact that she hit someone quiet, and what Tony told her not because she didn't want to tell you. But she was probably thinking about the best way to bring up the situations in a way in which she could get her side and points across without you jumping to conclusions and letting your emotions take control. She trusts you with her children, she is older than you and has lived more life than you. Sure that doesn't always mean anything but from what Laura would tell me and from what you've told me about her she has a hell of a lot of experience with someone who runs her life based on their emotions."
"You're talking about her ex-husband."
"Yes. Now I don't know the details I just know he was controlling and his emotions were a big part of that. And I only know this because the first time Wanda said something that hurt you I was ready to confront her and I phoned Laura to see if she knew where Wanda was and Laura gave me some advice. Also, does your girlfriend know that you talk about her past to your mom?" She tilts her head and I look down to the ground. "Exactly what I thought."
"Do you have a point to your ramblings or are you just gonna keep segwaying to different things?"
"Don't be rude. Look what I am trying to say is that Wanda is used to someone's emotions controlling them and controlling their relationship. She has trauma she is working through too Y/n not just you. She wanted to think about how she could bring the two topics of conversation up firstly because of your past to certain things and secondly because she was scared that she would get a reaction she was used to with her Ex. She was doing it to protect you both and you gave her a reaction that she would have expected from her ex, something she was also expecting from you. She is afraid of our reactions because she has seen them before obviously."
"I mean I may have had a few emotional moments here and there." I lean back resting my head on the back of the couch looking up to the ceiling. "My leaving was good for me at the moment but really bad for her and maybe our future."
"Maybe or maybe not. You two need to talk. Really talk and you need to let her do the talking. You need to let her explain her reasoning. You need to show her that you are in control of your reaction to certain things otherwise you will both be walking on eggshells around each other and you will never be a happy couple. You both need to be up front and honest to make what you two have amazing. And you need to stop blaming Wanda for things out of her control."
"Yeah we saw each other today when I went to see her brother in hospital and we discussed that we needed to talk."
"I am glad to hear that. I am also surprised to hear you went to the hospital just to check on her brother. You hate hospitals. But that's good. Grip onto that feeling of why you went to that hospital, it was for her. Now hold onto that when you are speaking with her and remember that you both have been through things and you both deal with things differently."
"I should have trusted her." I swallow my emotions as I sit back up to see Carol giving me a sad smile and a slow nod.
"Yes you should have. But we all make mistakes. It's what you do to show your remorse and show you can do better than count after something like this. You still love her, yes?"
"Yes of course I do. I don't think I could stop anytime soon, maybe ever. I love her, I really truly do."
"Then you have to learn to trust her completely. You have to give yourself completely to her. You have to let her in fully."
"I can try."
"No you won't just try, you will. If you truly love her the way you say you do, you will let her see every dark corner of your life, every skeleton in your closet. Just let her all the way in and let her love you. Don't destroy something that could be so beautiful."
"I can do that." Carol smiles at me, grabbing my hands in hers giving them a gentle squeeze.
"Good."
"Thank you Carol, for making me see sense. Making me see it all."
"I am your older sister. My job is to protect you. Even if that means protecting you from yourself." She gives my hands a gentle squeeze. "What do you say we go and join the girls for the movie and drinks now?"
"Yeah I can do that." Carol stands up pulling my arms with her to try and get me to stand up with her.
"Come on, I want to meet your friends properly and get the dirty details of your love life and maybe spill some things from when you were younger."
"No, don't you dare." Carol drops my hands as she makes her way to the door.
"Just try and stop me." She bolts out of the room, flipping me off behind her back as she does and I'm immediately on my feet going to chase after her.
"Wait Carol, don't tell them the story of how you walked in on me and Sarah!" I shout down the hallway after her and she looks over her shoulder with a cheeky smile before running down the stairs shouting back to me.
