Hey, everyone. I just wanted to announce that I'm starting a GoFundMe to get Cosmo put down once and for all. The benefits of killing him are that I'd get some God damned peace and quiet for once, it'd be a step towards solving overpopulation (not by much, but... it's a start), and it would also stop him from being a general nuisance to the world. Please donate. It's for a good cause. The link is in my bio.
Ain't nobody donating to that shit
Speak for yourself. I've gained 12 backers as we speak- including Hazel.
That was dev on Hazel's account. Hazel is on a camping trip with no devices remember? Or has your dementia already reached you like it reached your mother?
YOU LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS.
And besides, it doesn't matter. With all of his daddy's money, he left a pretty hefty donation. And I have a ton of other backers. Juandissimo's donated, Jorgen has donated, some of your little school friends have donated- even Dipper and Rosey want to see their father put out of his misery. Sure, that's technically my money that they're just giving back to me, but who cares? This is great.
No I am not leaving your demented mother out of this you're becoming exactly like her a pathetic bitch who's been used up thousands of years ago
Don't think I won't smack the shit out of you just because you're an adult and I'm not your biological mother.
That's why you're a whore ass a bitch
FUCK YOU
Well you aren't denying it so it's true
NO IT ISN'T
Yap yap yap you waited four hours so it makes it even more true!
Uh, excuse you. I have other shit going on- like trying to find a vet to do Cosmo's euthanasia. Apparently there are laws against getting another fairy euthanized, no matter how brain damaged they are. Dumbest shit ever.
Well you did sign the contract with Mama cosma to take care of him just to get her to leave you two the fuck alone
Fuuuuuuuck. Well, guess I better kill her so I don't have to hold up my end of the contract anymore.
*She pulled a gun out and began loading it.*
*Peri was looking over the contract and laughed* you missed the fine print it says "the contract continues even after my death as you will take care of my Cosmo forever". Seems like you got yourself into a hell of a situation
AAAAAAAAAA
Well, I'm gonna kill her anyway. Just for fUnsiEs 🙃
Bitch you ain't a middle schooler or a highschooler to be saying it or typing it like that grown as women in her thousands by the way
(sorry if that sounded a bit mean 😅)
FUCK YOU, I CAN BE ANYTHING I WANT
I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO ENJOY MY MIDDLE SCHOOL OR HIGH SCHOOL YEARS SINCE BLONDA WAS MORE POPULAR AND HAD MORE FRIENDS THAN ME AND I HAD A BUNCH OF BITCHASS IDIOT BOYFRIENDS AND MY DEMENTIA-RIDDEN "MOTHER" MADE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL
JUST LET ME HAVE THIS, DAMN IT
(It's cool. Also, no offence to anyone reading this who may have a relative suffering from dementia. It's a very serious illness, and my intention isn't to make fun of it. This is all for dramatic purposes, as always.)
Seems less Blonda really is my mother 😏*Peri said as he started laughing out loud knowing he was popular in school without realizing it at the time though rubbing it in his "mother's" face was just really fun*
*She growled.*
YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER. YOU'RE BOTH BITCHES WITH NO TALENT OR SOUL
I have a soul you don't you're trying to euthanize my "father" and only a Person with no soul would do shit like that
SO? All he's done is cause me pain and fuck up my life. He's acting like a fucking ANIMAL right now. The Cosmo you knew is already dead at this point. It would be more cruel to let him continue on this way.
(This feels like a legit psychotic break at this point💀)
Shut your bitch ass up already I'm over here trying to figure out how the fuck he got stuck like that!*Peri yelled as he gestured to Cosmo who was bent into a pretzel having bear traps on his legs and arms as well as stuck in the wires of a cage*
*he cried and whimpered like a wounded animal while looking at wanda sadly*
Aw he looks so cute when pitiful and not being a moron to society 🥹
NO. That's how he gets you. Trust me, I fell for those puppy dog eyes once before. That's how we ended up in this situation.
Well can we at least keep him like that it's kind of cute and pitiful*Peri said as he leaned back*
NO. We need to put him out of his misery. I can't bear seeing him like this all the time, because...
*She broke down sobbing.*
I feel bad, okay? I know that's hard to believe at this point, but I hate knowing I turned him into... this all because I couldn't control myself. I just want him gone and to never have to think about this again.
Well even then you got a Brain dummy. A Brain that will remind you of what you did*Peri said as he walked over and picked Cosmo up as he untwisted him from the position he was stuck in*
*he whimpered and looked at peri with puppy dog eyes. he cuddled closer to him, just wanting some warmth*
*Peri sighed as he grabbed a blanket wrapping Cosmo like a burrito though Cosmo kept undoing it as Peri repeatedly wrapped him up*
*he whined and rested his head on peri's lap, trying to show he wanted to be cuddled by someone*
Go cuddle with your wife*Peri said annoyed*
*cosmo began crying and howling loudly*
Ugh fine*Peri said reluctantly as he got up and sat on the couch*
*cosmo snuggled up next to him with his tail wagging like crazy*
Aww he's like a little puppy*Peri said*
Ugh. I can't watch this anymore. This is sickening.
*Peri chuckled as he laid back*
*cosmo started licking his hands, grooming himself like a cat*
*Peri grimaced but let him be*
*She let out an exasperated sigh.*
You know what I JUST realised? I can just use magic to undo all of this.
*She pointed her wand at Cosmo.*
I'm gonna change him back to normal and make sure he doesn't remember any of this.
About time dumbass
Oh, fuck off.
*She tried to cast the spell on Cosmo, only for him to dodge it and scurry off into a corner.*
What the hell?
