brooklyn boy diaries

“Bucky?” came your worried voice after you put his boots into the closet, sitting on the bed next to him and poking his shoulder. “Bucky, get up. Shower, eat, and then rest.” you urged, poking him again when his vibranium hand shot out to grip your wrist.

“Let me sleep” he said gruffly before shifting on the bed so that his back was turned to you, leaving you rubbing your wrist softly. You knew he wasn’t too responsive after missions since it took so much out of him, not that he was one for words or self care anyways. Still, you took it upon yourself to make sure he was cared for. 

“Please? I’ll make you plum croissants tomorrow if you just shower and eat” you tried again, scooting closer to him to rest your head on his shoulder as you felt him sigh again before sitting up.

“Eat and then shower” he said, running a hand through his hair as he made his way to one of the compound communal kitchens, sitting down on one of the stools as he waited for you expectantly. 

“Grilled cheese?” you offered, slotting yourself in the opening between his thighs, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he nodded, fingers trailing down your arm as you pulled away. You could feel his gaze follow you as you bustled around the kitchen to make his food. “Go shower and then you can eat after” you said softly, turning around to look at him as he frowned, reaching out to tug you by the wrist back into his proximity.

“Thought you would shower with me” he said softly, letting his walls down while no one else was around. You felt his hands come to rest on your waist, forehead between your breasts as he pressed a kiss through your clothes. 

“Another time, I promise” you laughed softly, letting your hands run through his hand before stopping at his shoulders, letting one hand trail down his vibranium arm. He let out a quiet whine before getting off the stool, dropping a kiss to the top of your head. You watched as he went back to the room to shower before turning back to the sandwich, humming softly.

20 minutes later, Bucky was freshly showered and seated at the counter once more, gaze still fixed on you as you plated his sandwich and sat next to him. He ate in silence for a while as you observed the new wounds on his back. Finding some gauze and neosporin, you began to bandage them gently.

“They’re shallow but-” 

“They’re nothing” Bucky cut you off but made no move to stop you from patching him up. After placing the last piece of medical tape, he turned in his stool to face you, the both of you exchanging silent conversation before he got up to wash his plate. 

“If you keep going on long missions, you’re just gonna keep destroying yourself, Buck” you said quietly, swallowing the lump in your throat. It became more apparent that the past couple months, he just drew further into himself with each mission, determined to block out the pain with endless fighting. 

“I’m just helping the team” he said tersely, putting his dish in the drying rack before he walked back to the room, expecting you to follow behind him. You stood there for a moment, willing for the emotions to fade, to appreciate that he was here. 

Your legs moved in habit, walking to your shared bedroom and flicking off the light before sliding under the covers with him. You could still hear his breaths, short and controlled. He wasn’t asleep.

After a long moment of silence, he spoke up again. “I don’t mean it, doll. The rudeness, the violence. I’m trying.”

“Bucky…” you started quietly but stopped when you felt the bed shift, a heavy weight now resting across your waist, shallow puffs of breath ghosting across your collarbone. 

“I’ll take a month break, spend time with you?” he half offered, half begged, the grip on your waist tightening.

“James…” 

“Only time with you. No one else unless really needed” he whispered, his leg shifting to now rest over yours, lips gently sucking at the base of your neck, smirking when he felt you cave. 

You opened your mouth to say something but he unlocked the door and slammed it shut, leaving you speechless once more.

Quickly changing into a lacy blue lingerie that you knew drove him crazy, you slipped on your silk robe and put on a pair of navy blue heels before making your way to the VIP room.

Raising your fist to knock, the door swung open before your knuckles even touched the wood. You walked in nervously, hands clasped behind your back as you heard the door shut and once again, the click of the lock.

When he turned to face you, you could notice a slight bruising on his left cheek and a small gash sewn up with a few stitches hidden by his hair.

When he reached for you, you took a small step back, hating the frustrated look on his face.

"I paid you for your time, not for you to stand around like a fucking coward" he growled, the building stress from missions and long meetings starting to bubble up.

"Bucky... why are you injured?" you asked quietly, meeting his hardened gaze.

"Not your business" he answered flatly, stepping towards you as you backed up until your back hit the cold door. You could feel his body heat against your skin, his arms caging you in.

"Just let me have this moment" he whispered, lowering his head so his lips were a breath away from yours, pupils blown wide from lust.

Before you could think through your decision, your need for him won out and your lips crashed into his, immediately pulling him closer by his shirt.

When he trailed his metal hand down your body to brush over a pebbled nipple through your bra, you let out a moan from the sensation, his tongue slipping into your mouth when your lips parted.

You already knew he would win out the fight for dominance, not that you could even call it a fight as your tongues slid together. Two taps on your thigh told you to jump up, his other arm supporting your weight as you wrapped your legs around your waist.

"Sexy little tease, you know I love how this looks on you" he growled, hands kneading your ass. Walking across the room to the plush couch, his lips never left yours before he threw you horizontally onto the cushions.

Quickly tugging off his henley as your hands reached up to undo his belt buckle, you could already feel the strain of his hardening cock against the fabric of his jeans. Tugging the belt through the loops and letting it fall to the floor, you gave a light squeeze on his bulge, eliciting a low groan.

"You know not to tease me" he hissed, pushing you back down on the couch as he shed his jeans. Getting back on the cushions, he hovered above you before attaching his lips to your neck, sucking hard.

Mewling, you arched your back into his touch, metal hand roaming your body one more, lower and lower until he brushed over your slick folds. Gently rubbing a line up and down as the dampness in your panties spread, he kissed down your body until he reached the apex of your thighs.

"Look at this pretty pussy, all mine" he mumbled against your inner thigh, hands forcing them apart after tugging your lace panties off.

Delivering a harsh smack to your clit, you wailed from the pleasure mixing with the pain as he started to circle your clit.

"Bucky...." you moaned, hand reaching down to thread through his hair before gripping his hair harshly when his tongue ran through your folds.

"Always so sweet for me, kukla..." his tongue dipped inside of you, earning another low moan from you. "So needy..."

Without warning, he thrusted two fingers inside of you, the cool contrast of the metal adding to the pleasure as he flicked your clit back and forth with his tongue. He knew how to play you, how to get you to come in an instant or how to drag out the pleasure.

Today, however, he was impatient, needing to be buried balls deep inside of you. Speeding up his fingers, he crooked them just so to graze that inner spot in you, a third joining the two.

Your thighs clamped around his head when he reached his thumb up to circle your clit before reattaching his mouth to it, your arousal gushing around his fingers.

"F-fuck, Bucky..." you moaned, toes curling and back arching off the couch once more as he helped you ride out your orgasm.

"Soaked my fingers, next time I'll have you soak my face" he smirked, not giving you a chance to catch your breath as he pulled you up to straddle his lap.

Tugging off his boxers, his cock sprang free, the tip hitting his abdomen. Pre-cum beaded at the tip, his length perfectly curved just the slightest bit.

"Bucky, you're to big for me to-"

"Suck it up like a big girl, I'll ruin you for anyone else if I haven't already"

Jealousy. He hadn't been possessive before yesteray, you were just a release for him.. right?

Before you could dwell on the thought further, he gripped your hips and slammed you down on his cock, a scream ripping from your throat.

"Can't" you protested, trying to adjust as he rubbed circles on your clit to distract you from the pain.

"You can and you will" he growled, lifting your hips up again until only his tip was inside you before thrusting up into you.

As you started to find your rhythm on his length, each downward motion of your hips was met with a rough thrust up, the angle always hitting the perfect spot in you.

"Feel so good for me, dorogoy" he groaned, starting to feel your walls flutter around him, one hand tweaking your nipple as he bit dark marks from your neck to your chest.

"J-James... I-, fuck!" you screamed, eyes rolling back, gripping his shoulders as you clenched around his cock, squirting all over his lap.

The sound of his given name being screamed pushed him over the edge, hot ropes of his cum painting your insides and dripping out of you as he lazily thrusted up to prolong the pleasure.

Collapsing sated against him, a thin sheen of sweat covered both your bodies, his thumb rubbing circles on your hips, lips lazily moving against yours.

"(Y/N)..." he whispered, unable to pull himself away from you, all willpower diminishing.

"hmmm..." you hummed quietly, fingers idly playing with his dog tags when you noticed something new. There was a new addition to the chain around his neck, a third dog tag that sat closest to his heart.

Engraved on it was your name and the date you first met and fucked.

"When did you get this?" you asked softly, the tip of your index finger tracing the engraving, ignoring the small flutter in your chest.

"Couple days ago" he answered, voice kept even to mask the emotion.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Thought it wasn't important" he lied, meeting your curious gaze.

"You are a terrible liar, Mr. Barnes" you huffed, starting to move off his lap when he stopped you.

"Solnyshko" he warned, sighing as you looked at him pointedly. He released his hold, helping you move off his lap and stabilize you before slipping your robe back on.

He ran a hand through his hair after he quickly got dressed, striding towards the door before turning back and walking back to you.

Gripping your chin, he forced you to meet his eyes, clenching his jaw before he spoke.

"You belong to me. You don't go on that stage anymore. The only name you scream will be mine. And soon enough, I'll get you out of this shithole of a place and take you back to mine" he murmured before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a wad of cash, as always. Placing it in your hand, he gave you one last look before walking away.

Possessiveness. Lust. Need, and something more.

You hurried back to your designated room, grabbing your heels when you paused at the small slip of paper on your vanity desk.

Written in messy scrawl was a phone number and a short message.

Call me. And the injuries were from a recon mission. -JBB

"I'm Y/N, Tony hired me a couple days ago but I haven't seen you around. You must be Bucky, right?" you said, excited to finally meet the super soldier that the team had been telling you about.

"Yeah, it's Bucky" he responded flatly before walking to the table to get some food, cutting off any further conversation.

You frowned to yourself but decided to not take it personally. Natasha had told you he was closed off especially after the whole deal with the Accords. Not that you could blame him, he had been through enough in one lifetime. You went to go wash the dishes, wondering how you could get the surly soldier to open up to you.

A few days passed with no sight of Bucky but you weren't surprised. It was late one evening when on a whim, you decided to bake. Taking out the ingredients you needed, you hummed some song that was playing on the radio earlier, feeling yourself slip into your comfort zone again.

Bucky was up, as he always was during these late nights. Sleep seemed impossible at times, flashes of blood and chaos invading his mind every time he closed his eyes. Scrubbing a weary hand down his face, he got up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants to get some water.

As he padded to the kitchen, he paused at the sight of you dancing to your own tune in the kitchen, cleaning a couple dishes. The faint scent of a pastry layered with something sweeter enticed him but he shook himself out of the trace.

"Can't sleep?" he asked, voice rough with disuse as he slipped past you to get a glass.

"Oh! Bucky, hi. Uh, something like that. Just had the urge to make something and since I am getting paid to cook, might as well make the most of it" you said softly, stretching as you made your way to the oven.

His eyes followed your movements as you pulled out a steaming rack of croissants, the flaky pasty littered with strays of purple streaks.

"Plum croissants" you explained after seeing his furrowed brow. "Wanna try one? Steve told me you liked plums"

"No" he said flatly but his eyes kept straying back to the dessert. Frustrated, he left the kitchen with his glass of water, leaving you wondering if you had messed up.

However, in the next 2 days, the croissants were gone. Of course, the team could've eaten them but whenever you asked around, they said that they never knew they existed.

You were finishing up the last of the dinner dishes when you heard quiet footsteps behind you, freezing when you turned around.

Raising an eyebrow, you fought back a smile at the sight of Bucky holding the croissant jar against his chest, the container clearly empty.

"You liked my croissants" you stated as he scowled, putting the jar on the counter.

"They were okay" he muttered, glancing away as you held back a giggle, taking the jar to wash it.

"You uh... you like baking?" he asked awkwardly, grabbing a napkin to clean the grooves in his metal arm.

"Yeah... I think it's a little more calming than cooking" you replied after a moment, turning back around to lean against the counter, watching him.

"What." he snapped slightly, avoiding eye contact like a guilty child.

"I can't believe you actually liked the plum croissants" you laughed softly, a bright smile blooming across your face. Bucky didn't trust himself to look at you, at the sunshine you radiated.

Coming around the counter, you slid onto the stool next to him, observing his expression for a moment. Troubled.

"You don't like it when people take care of you?" you asked, genuinely curious.

"Stop prying" he frowned, glancing quickly at you before meticulously focusing on one area of his arm.

"I'll take that as a yes" you hummed, yawning and stretching your arms above your head. "You know it's not a bad thing, people are just looking out for you"

He stayed silent, staring at his arm.

"Bucky?"

"I don't need your pity"

There was a strain in his voice, barely, but it was there.

"Bucky-"

"You're just a fucking chef, what would you know" came his biting reply.

"O-oh. Sorry, I didn't... um, it's late so I'm gonna go to bed" you whispered, the words cutting deeper than you'd like to admit. Sure, you were a chef but you also knew people. Knew how to connect with them.

Bucky watched as you hurried off, wondering why his words felt so wrong after he said it. He could almost feel the dimness of your light, like he sucked it out of you.

It was easy to say he hated himself for it.

It was a week later when you found a brown paper bag placed outside your door. You were oblivious to the pair of eyes watching you, wanting you to open it.

You reached out to get it, a familiar faint sweet smell reaching your nose. Opening it, you saw a somewhat attempted plum croissant and bit the inside of your cheek to stop a laugh.

You glanced around the hall before you spotted him lingering in a corner, watching your reaction. You stood there quietly, waiting for him to say something.

"I'm.... sorry... for lashing out" he finally said, shoulders slumping in defeat as he walked over to where you stood. "I'm not used to people being so insistent on caring about me or going out of their way to make... croissants"

"Thank you for the apology. And the croissant" you said, looking back down at the sad croissant before putting the bag down and wrapping your arms around him.

He paused for a moment, not used to the physical affection before wrapping his arms around you, resting his chin on the top of your head. After a moment, he tilted his head down so that he could nuzzle his nose in your hair.

"Can you make some more croissants though?" came his muffled voice.

But that's in the past and you, you are the present and future. You, who works Monday, Tuesday, and Friday nights, along with weekends. His favorite dancer and his favorite hookup. 

This Friday night is no different as he steps foot in the pounding club, eyes scanning the sweaty crowd until they land on you, just finishing your routine on stage. You're dressed in a skimpy red piece that barely leaves anything to the imagination, knee high heels adding to the appeal. His eyes rake over your body, darkening at the various bills stuffed wherever the hands could reach. Bills that should be his. Hands that should be his. 

You can practically feel his glare, eyes flitting up to meet his, calculating his expression. With a barely perceptible jerk of his head, you already know to follow him to one of the private rooms. Quickly blowing your kisses, you hurry off stage just in time to see Bucky slap a couple bills into someone's hand before they let him into the dim room, leaving the door open for you. 

The moment you step foot in the room, the door slams shut behind you and you can feel him behind you, radiating anger and something else. Jealousy. 

"I thought I told you to wait for me" he growled into your ear, vibranium fist clenching against the wall. His other hand comes to rest on your waist, a mockery of affection before whatever comes next. 

"I did but you didn't come on time" you shrugged, the excuse sounding lame to even you. "I needed the money, you know that" 

"I said I would pay you extra for your time" he retorted, plucking the bills out from your bra one by one before tossing them somewhere in the room. You barely get the chance to open your mouth to respond when you feel a cold metal hand spin you around and wrap around your throat, just barely applying pressure. 

"Since you didn't wait, I don't see a point in paying you extra" he breathed out, thumb sliding up to tilt your chin up, his lips ghosting over yours. His arousal is evident against your thigh, your body shifting instinctively so he's nestled right against your core. 

"I'll give you better service for more money" you offered, already sinking to your knees for him. Truth is, if you didn't need the money so desperately, you'd do anything for free for this man. 

Bucky almost caved but shook his head, tugging you back up. "I don't have time" he muttered, frustrated as he checked his watch before spotting the loveseat in the corner of the room. Leading you there, he tugged you into his lap, lips meeting your eagerly as you melted into his hold. His tongue swiped along your bottom lip before you parted your lips, tongues sliding deliciously. 

You were already grinding against him on instinct when he gripped your hips to stop you. 

"Get on your back" he muttered, already doing the act for you as he flipped your positions and then settled on the floor to be face to face with your soaked panties. 

"Already so wet for me... or is this from all those other men giving you money, hm? You don't need anything from me anymore, might as well make this our last session" he taunted,  his metal hand sliding up your thigh teasingly, goosebumps following in his trail.  

"No, no... no, no just you. Only you get me soaked" you whined, missing the way he smirked at your desperate words. 

He let out a hum before carefully sliding your panties down your legs, tucking them in his back pocket as he spread your thighs wider. You clenched around nothing in anticipation, letting out a quiet gasp when he ran a finger up your slit, gathering your slick. 

"So pretty..." he murmured, glancing at you as he kissed up your inner thighs. "So perfect" 

You squirmed, almost about to beg for him to touch you when he ran his tongue through your folds, a moan tumbling past your lips as your hips canted up. 

"Such a pretty pussy for a pretty girl" he smirked, tongue doing circles on your clit before he took it between his lips and sucked lightly. 

"B-Bucky- ah... need more..." you moaned, fingers fisting in his hair, lips set into a pout. 

"I don't think you deserve it" he chided, his flesh hand sliding under your back to pull you closer to him. "You're lucky I'm fond of you"

He slipped two metal fingers into you, curling them so they hit your sweet spot that he knew so well. His tongue worked quickly over your clit, flicking back and forth, his fingers pumping with the obscene shlick shlick shlick, already building you towards your orgasm. 

"Are you gonna wait for me tomorrow instead of throwing yourself on stage for the world to see?" he asked, purposely slowing his fingers as you whined from the fading pleasure. His thumb pressed down on your clit, your hips bucking up into the pressure.

"Yes, yes I'll wait for you" you cried out when his flesh hand came down on your clit. 

"Good girl" he growled before his mouth attached back onto your sensitive bundle of nerves. His fingers slipped back into your pussy, curling and pumping eagerly, your walls starting to flutter around him from the building pleasure. 

One last swipe of his tongue on your clit had you unraveling, his eyes watching as your back arched off the couch, legs shaking and clamping around his head as his fingers worked you through your high. The cries of his name falling from your lips mixed in with curses and moans were heavenly. He tucked the sounds away to memory, his cock throbbing against his jeans but he could take care of that problem later. 

He drew gentle circles on your clit, huffing softly when your body jerked in response to the overstimulation. You felt a couple bills flutter down onto your flushed skin, not bothering to count them when you felt him lean down next to your ear. 

"If you're really worried about money, just tell me. I can cover it, doll" he said softly, brushing some hair out of your face before leaving a quick kiss on your lips. 

You nodded, shifting so that you were sitting up on the couch, noticing that the bills littering your skin were hundreds. 

"If you forget our agreement tomorrow, consider your orgasms also forgotten" he said casually before the door slammed shut behind him, leaving you dazed and always, always wanting more.