the coffeemaker’s rigged

Just the vocal delivery on its own is funny every time

[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

favourite rpg trope is the merchants in incredibly hostile environments. we are at the evil curse mountain and youre just selling me items normal style

Nothing gives the same kind of random ego boost like managing to finally clean up your home and making it nice. Like ooh look at me, I'm living like people do, I made myself iced tea and I am eating my snack from a real plate. I got floors and shit.

Some books are good and some books are bad. Remember everything i taught you. Goodbye forever.

The existence of New England suggests that a place called 'England' exists, which is ridiculous but funny to imagine.

i swear my consequences dont even have actions