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annabelle--cane

subtext that the creator meant to put in there, that comes up several times at regular intervals in tonally consistent scenes and is pretty blatantly baked into the text? that's fine, that's normal, that's what I expect. subtext where the creator WASN'T doing it on purpose but it still just about coheres to make sense? that drives me insane. it makes me feel like a one-legged sailor setting off from nantucket on a guided mission to get this whale.

#andy weir

theswisscheeserag

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

theswisscheeserag

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

theswisscheeserag

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

kaity--did

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

kaity--did

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

kaity--did

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

kaity--did

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

kaity--did

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

kaity--did

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

kaity--did

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

kaity--did

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

kaity--did

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

justplainsalty

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

kaity--did

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

kaity--did

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

soapbbox

It’s all puppies forever in New York, you guys are so lucky 😭

#mcr

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grimeclown

Me when a member of my Cougar Squad returns to my lair with more salacious dirt on one of my many enemies

sunshine-tattoo

homie is this an xmen porno

grimeclown

I see how you could get confused but that's actually me when a member of my Cougar Squad returns to my lair with more salacious dirt on one of my many enemies

blazing-butterfly-inactive

That ace moment when you see an xmen porno Cougar Squad gif and all you can think is "ooh those special effects are pretty cool, I wonder how they did that?"

grimeclown

I did it with my powers.

blazing-butterfly-inactive

You should use your powers to get a helmet that fits better

grimeclown

Wow ok you know what get da hell out of here

cloudabserk

carl my best friend carl

#project hail mary

silima

katara is down for crime just not down to get caught 😎

Yeah

For years, sci-fi has asked, what if aliens were wetter than us. Project Hail Mary posits a new, daring question. What if we are the wet aliens

#project hail mary

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solely-ashes

Forget about torturing your blorbos, putting them through the ringer. I'm putting my blorbo in perfectly ordinary, pleasant situations. Their tortured personality will cause them anguish anyway, making an absolutely mundane scene into the most dramatic, agony filled affair as though the world is ending and it's all their fault

fakecrfan

cloudabserk

so many great things about the “i’d let him do open heart surgery on me if he wanted” quote, but i love that it’s another case of grace displacing his wants onto the other person. so he doesn’t have to be rejected. does stratt want me to work on the project? do my friends want me at the party? does the scientific community want me at the conference? does rocky want to do surgery on me? mf do YOU want these things?? can you take ownership of your own desires…

cloudabserk

guys my students would be so bummed if you sent me to die. have we thought about how they feel.

room-surprise

Yuuuup. This is a really great point. I think Grace was "broken" long before he got shot into space. The book is from his POV and he never ONCE thinks of his parents or a sibling or a cousin or ANYBODY, and that suggests immense isolation. Is he an orphan? Does he not know his family? Is he estranged? Has he (mentally, emotionally) run away from them like how he runs from other difficult things to the point that he actively avoids thinking about them? Yeah he starts out with amnesia, but he remembers a lot of things, and it's odd not to have even a passing thought about your family.

I think his parents got very messily divorced (California boy woo), and he grew up feeling like he wasn't "good enough" for them to try and make the relationship work, and isolated from both sides of the family on account of the turbo-divorce. Love, wanting things, asking for them and getting them, must seem like alien concepts to him. Grace can't do that, it's asking for "too much" it's making him "too inconvenient" and whoever he's asking it of is going to resent him for it.

There's a rather sweet line at the end of the book when Grace is thinking about how nice the Eridians are to him, and he thinks "The Eridians will make anything I ask for, but I try not to abuse it." He still holds himself back from asking for "too much"... But maybe in the roughly two decades of time that has passed in the story, he's learned to ask for some things. Being stuck in a terrarium where you will literally die if others don't constantly provide for your most basic physiological needs probably forced him to learn to deal with it.

#project hail mary

werewolf-transgenderism

oh my god I just saw the cutest thing in the world. little Black girl with beads in her hair for the first day of school and the beads were pink then silver then a bunch of yellow then beige then grey to make them look like pencils 🥺🥺🥺 brb I will draw an artist’s rendition

werewolf-transgenderism

^ like this. waaaaaugh 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

failcringegf

picture this, i give you a glass bottle and tell you to open it, but bottle openers are forbidden, how do you do it?

failcringegf

im talking about this bitch btw

pitchburgh

I think the shoe trick would work on this:

theforceisstronginthegirl

When I was a kid my older cousins used to sit around at night during family reunions inventing new and uh probably unadvised ways to open these

Counter edge - successful

Stick from the woods - not successful

Stick from the firepit (not on fire) - not successful

Shoe - not successful

Small rock - successful (bandaid needed)

Large rock - successful

Stick from firepit (on fire) - successful

Stone from firepit (fire in pit) - successful

Edge of fire barrel (fire in barrel) - successful

Log from bonfire (large) (on fire) - unknown everyone was too drunk and cousin fell in fire (he lived to be mocked forever)

Tree - unsuccessful 1 time and successful 1 time but also boring so attempts abandoned

Marshmellow stick (marshmallow on stick) - unsuccessful (marshmallow fell in dirt)

Knife (little) - successful

Knife knife (medium) - successful (bandaid needed but not for the cousin trying this but for my brother who caught the knife with his foot when cousin dropped it)

Knife (large) - successful

Teeth (human: attached) - successful (hurts btw don’t recommend)

Machete - successful (more experiments needed)

Machete (chop the top of the bottle off) - successful (lots of broken glass don’t drink)

Machete competition to see who could cut the top off a bottle the cleanest (competition banned forever when my mom found out) (after she won)

Axe - successful

Random deer bone a dog found - unknown everyone kept getting distracted by the deer bone

Sheer grit and bare hands - successful because it turned out the bottle was actually a twist cap

Sheer grit and bare hands - unsuccessful (bottle not twist cap) (cousin mocked forever)

Edge of golf cart - unknown (got chased off by my mom)

Fence - successful (got yelled at by my mom)

Metal porch chairs - successful (bandaid needed)

Plastic porch chairs - successful (?????)

Another bottle (unopened) - unsuccessful (both bottles broke)

Another bottle (opened) - unsuccessful

Another bottle cap (not attached) - unsuccessful

Paving tiles in a stack - successful

Cooler edge - successful

Cooler edge by closing the cooler lid really hard - unsuccessful (bottle broke) (paused to pick glass out of cousins hand)

Concrete ground - successful but considered a fail because most of the drink came out when it opened

Porch support column - unsuccessful

Flathead screw driver - successful

Horseshoe (horse: not attached) - successful

Metal sunglasses case - successful

Citronella candle bucket (candle lit) - successful (cousin burned)

Horseshoe (horse: attached) - successful (got yelled at by my mom)

Random piece of metal - successful (stitches and tetanus shot)

Random nail from the scrap nail bucket - not successful

older-and-far-away

Okay so is there like, an official, regularly updated list?

(successful because it turned out the bottle was actually a twist off)

Also I am desperate to know how (horse: attached) worked

syn4k

@the-ark-awaits hon you CANNOT just drop that line and not elaborate

#if you only have large rocks by the river near you: yes it works but also it takes ages and you lose part of you drink #as concluded by my friend while i watched (i thought to bring the bottle opener but decided it probably wouldnt be necessary)

systlin

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

systlin

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

systlin

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

#dont have a dishwasher but cool stuff 👍👍

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