mimi

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The person I had always admired was waiting for me with a beautiful face. I might have been there and met HIDE-san with a different feeling from the people around me. Why do I say that? Because it's the first time I met him. I introduced myself in my mind and thanked HIDE-san for coming to the Shibukou live.

Even now, I still wonder, “If he's still alive, would I be able to talk to him? Would I be able to drink with him? If he comes up with a crazy idea, would I be desperate to do it?” Something like that.

Other members of DIR also meet and build relationships with people they admire. Sometimes I imagine that if I receive a message from HIDE-san at night that he is in Fukuoka, would I just take a taxi and run to him? Well, I don't know if I could have that kind of relationship…

It is such a pity that I could not talk to HIDE-san while meeting him. But it was TOMMY-san and YOSHIKI-san who allowed me to meet HIDE-san that encouraged me.

There was a drinking party after the funeral. When TOMMY-san, who invited me to the party, introduced me to YOSHIKI-san for the first time, YOSHIKI-san looked at my face and said: "You like HIDE-chan,right?” I was surprised to hear that all of a sudden.

When we recorded with YOSHIKI-san in LA, there was a part where I really wanted to put in a guitar phrase, so I thought about the phrase in that part for days, recorded it, and handed it to YOSHIKI-san for confirmation. YOSHIKI-san: "Do you really need it here? Wouldn't it be nice to have none?" Me: "No, it's necessary! I'll think about it a little more, please listen to it after I'm done." YOSHIKI-san: "I see~ Kaoru is really the same as HIDE-chan on this point. Even if I told HIDE-chan that part is not necessary, he'll definitely add something else." He may have said it out of concern, but I was really happy about that.

From kyo-san of D'ERLANGER, I received the ring that HIDE-san was wearing. At first, I said I could not take it and declined him. "I have a lot of memories of HIDE-chan, you should have this.” kyo-san then said, so I accepted it.

"What kind of person do you think HIDE-chan is?" "He's just like how you think." I heard about HIDE-san from other people. I'm very happy even if that's all. As expected, he is really cool.

Even now as I'm writing this, I’m still nervous, painful, and I feel my heart racing several times. I wonder if I am allowed to write about that person.

There are so many things I want to say and ask. Although it's not the time to go to that world yet, if I could meet you and talk to you now, I would definitely say it first.

“Daisuki desu!”

ever free.

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