'ello back to you, mate! o/
Will be reading through this and commenting as I go along, but to adress the matter you are discussing at the end,
*Le Gasp* indeed?? Damn, thrilled to hear that darling Angelo had caught your attention so! Would most gladly see him come to life under your hand, and too also love to tell you all about him!!
(Know I've still am letting you wait on that ask I intended to send, as much as the other bit you wrote, am admittedly not the best at time management that way, but both are on the to do list!)
Which, ok, if i may, would it be alright with you, if I were to approach you for that purpose via your DM's?
Ask this partly, as I do tend towards verbosity, and past a certain number of rb's my device starts to lagg, which this sort of thing we would engage in would inevitably lead too,
Partly I am admittedly somewhat reluctant to just show up in smb's DM's without an explicit invitation -would be loathe to overstep that way, since I do know there's some folks whom for one reason or another prefer keep their conversations out of their DM's,
though no worries if not :)
That aside, onto the tale you are weaving!
Ooh, title makes for a *strong* first impression already!
(Both for the book this is referencing having themes of the limits of creation and the responsibilities that the creation of a life then come hand in hand with -the question of if one ought to just bc one has the ability to do so mirroring the fear at the time Shelly wrote it of all manner of new technology emerging.
The likening of Sanguinius to the titan prometous, in the myth both the creator of humanity, as much as he whom stole the fire from the gods and then had been sentenced to have his liver devoured by an Eagle each day anew
-vividly I remember how Sanguinius had been the sole primarch to ask the emperor what he would do if Sanguinius were to *refuse* to join his cause, with the answer being very specifically 'You wouldn't'
Mind you, could also more generally play into the manner in which Sanguinius had been idolised in life and made into a martyr in death.
Would currently also linken the eage from the myth to the imperial aquilla, that representing in turn the emperor himself, and the manner in which his not revealing his cards in regards to Sanguinius nebulous status as a mutant -both the wings attached to his back,
and more crucially the Red Thirst, which Sanguinius himself blamed himself for passing down upon his legion, that particular brand of always keeping himself in line being how the emperor assured his loyalty -the threat of a third legion meeting a similar fate to those struck from both all memory and the imperial reccord always looming upon the horizen.
Though to circle back around to the point I was looking to make, Sanguinius himself not permitted to rest -pieces of his own self existing seperate from himself in the shape of both that shard which resides within the Lord of Death, the sanguniour, as much as whatever exists of him in that floating blood sphere on Baal- much akin to how Sanguinius in turn would/could not permit Dante to rest as he still had need of him
Which, title as is would then be reference how, akin to Frankenstein himself, Bile seeks to create life akin to some higher power, succeeding in some ways, though all that I know of the fella, he too seems to be disinclined to nurture and cherrish the life he created
-had not yet quite seen you answer on what specifically he created Orion for, but for the purposes of this I am going to assume he's been indeed ment to be Bile's attempt to figure out how to recreate whatever process that saw him create the perfect clone of Fulgrim.)
Heresy catalogue would, to me, imply this to be one of several entries in a series, bit mayhaps akin to a manual denoting different kinds of Heresy.
Ngl, very neat thing that you go the extra mile of including an actual legit *definition* of both of these terms! Points for creativity and potentially teaching your readership smth new/building upon their already existant knowledge base!
(Mind you, english isn't my native language, and most of what i know comes from context rather then specifically the dictionary definition of any given thing, but this particular definition makes it actually kind of hilarious that all of 40k has ppl throw that term around with such deadly intent.
In comparison, monstrosity sounds almost mundane in nature, though then again, what would be monsteruous to one, would be merely rather odd a thing to another -subjective some that way)
Mind you pherhaps elaborate on what specifically you are looking for when you say 'you are encouraged to ask' in this context?
do recall that you had off-handedly mentioned not *minding* constructive criticism, but not quite the exact thing as explicitly looking for it -partly as I hold to the fandom old convention of not offering constructive criticism unless explicitly asked for,
Would however not mind either that, nor doing a spot of beta-reading if you'd like?
Would in either case very much be your call to make.
First paragraph, picture the way in which my eyebrows shoot up when I read '*regent* chapter master',
Would for one make me wonder what is having Dante indisposed at this time, say a mortal wound, or rather closer to mere practically in that Orion leads the chapter as Dante is off to make war alongside his men.
Too, this would then answer the question of wether and to what extent Orion's existence is kept a secret, both amongst the chapter itself and the wider Imperium,
which, occurs to me that even his being about just a bit taller then a primaris would probably be regarded as an oddity at most -matter of wether he's too has an aura akin to that of the primarch he had been created from would however remain.
(Wonder if there's BA whom feel themselves drawn to him, and safe whilst within his presence)
Too, the matter of the False Angel then would either not come to pass, or only in a different manner, on account of part of the reason that whole situation came about, had been due to that one fella growing himself a pair of wings, that in turn being proof for others that he must be the primarch reborn -mind you, there's that one Ordos whom belives the same might happen to the emperor himself aswell.
'Only they bear the heavy weight of answer'
^ love that line, both due to the responsibility that knowledge entails, as much as how in 40k just the knowledge of a thing can as much become damnation as easily as salvation.
Subtitle from what i found seems to be referencing a particular instalation featuring the subject of birds in various mediums,
Which, that could then imply there being say, different faccets that are being viewed across this particular tale, that in turn working with the concept of Frankenstein as a creation being made up of many individual pieces
(Hm, bit akin how we each too tend to be amalgamations of the parts of all the various individuals whom have touched our lives for better or worse, though tends to be not *quite* so much a physical thing to that particular degree)
'In the grim darkness of the far future, only war remains'
^ always neat when ppl actually include that particular quote found in most all modern 40k books!
Too, find this particular variation on it intersting, in that it implies war -would almost want to say that it explicitly denotes it as a thing that had not always existed, rather then how the orginal iteration implies war to be an almost universal fact of life, akin to how the sun rises and sets each say, and heat is smth you can sense.
Am admittedly not too familiar with Bile beyond whatever I happened to pick up upon via osmosis, but neat that bit about a part of horus' soul remaining!
(Belive there was this bit about him making clones of Ferrus for his genesire, as Fulgrilm sought to find means that would have the gorgon fall as the Phonetian himself had, to no avail each time anew)
Neat bit on the description of the environment, as much as how Bile has a very much careless regard for those creations of his that aren't providing to him much use at this time.
Ngl, I am fascinated by this visceral description of the experiment, can almost picture the thing wiggling about pathetically, bit akin to how seahorses are left to maneuver themselves in a pretty limited manner with just their finns.
^ 🤣 damn, certain amount of dark irony for this being angron, him being regarded as a failure by his orginal creator, and now too by this second creator.
Also, may i be noisy and inquire wether the sequence Bile inputs is a reference to a particular thing?
Also also, feeling some amount of schadenfreude at the tantrum Bile is throwing -unrealistic standards much? Then again, if anyone would be frustrated at their own work not being able to messure up to that of an individual who has the collective, knowledge of tens of *thousands* of years of life, then it *would* be Bile.
👁 mind you pherhaps elaborate on that bit about the possibility of purifying the warp??
Both bc that is a *fascinating* concept to consider, as much as that one of my oc's would quite literally commit more then one murder to aquire that sort of knowledge
Neat detail that Bile has designated table on which he disects corpses, bc of couse he would -really, just more practical that way.
Hm, considering how long Bile has been active, I wonder wether he just has a very large supply of genetic material, of if he is able to clone said genetical material without it degradating with each cloning of already cloned material.
Do imagine that there would be more then just one BA and related successor chapters whom would kill to get their hands on that feather
^ 🤣 bit on Bile talking about adding a librarian's brain remined me of that Frankenstein cover of Mumbo no. 5 smb i saw on a post on here, so do very kindly thank you for that laugh, mate!
Which, ok, jokes aside, does then make me wonder wether that particular brain would then mutate to grow the neurons and so forth to be able to accommodate the raw intellect of a primarch's, let alone all of the sheer additional input a primarch is able to percive
-hm, say, does Orion ever deal with headaches or similar such effects of his having been created from parts not specifically designed for the particular process of creating a primarch?
Well, that would then settle the debate on wether Sanguinius' wings had been a mutation, or an intentional addition of the emperor's -certainly not beating the god allegations with that
^ also, damn, that sure is pretty fast a maturation period!
Hm, say, does Orion by chance happen to also have a darker complexion, bc the particular combination of brown eyes and deep brown hair colour makes me currently think of this being smth of a relation to the emperor,
Alternatively, am reminded of how it's not uncommon for individuals born with blond hair to darken to a say, a dark blond, too how many infants are born with blue eyes that then shift to whatever their actual eyecolour ends up being,
as such, might just be that Orion happens to look like what Sanguinius might've looked like if he had the chance to grow old enough
-do recall you mentioning that Dante found Orion at age ca. age 50 physically, personally hc that the Primarchs as we know them would be juveniles for their respective species.
*Fascinating* on the Immaterium purification theory resulting in a *blank* specifically,
which, you know, would actually make some amount of sense if you consider the cutrrent state of the warp as being the excess of energy, to go with my personal hc, of the warp being heavily polarised towards one end of of the spectrum, with blanks existing on the other, *negative* end of that spectrum, in that they balance each other out due to the way their presence not existing in the warp might manifests as them not feeding emotions into the warp the way non-blanks do
-keeping in mind that even non-psykers are still psykers, if of a very low rank
Whole description of the clone has a distinctive gothic horror feel to it that I greatly enjoy -you got a hand for these i notice- and feels very apt a callback to the title of the novel
-*ooh*, damn, this *would* mirror Frankenstein becoming *repulsed* by the life he has created isn't it :D *happy noises*
^ I also notice that the text seems to agree with me on blanks do indeed possessing souls, so that's also nice (personal hc being them functioning akin to anti-matter, and having an anti-soul/a soul of negative polarity, akin to antimatter, in that their soul is much more denser and thus heavier, hence there being so very free blanks existing period, even less so then any and all non-passive psykers)
Hm, does then make me admittedly curious as to wether Bile's reaction is specifically due to him being, even despite his insistence, indeed still alligned with chaos, specifically in regards to how Orion ends up acting as Dante's regent.
Making a cut here as I got to do some stuff to tend to, to return to another day.
Made for an excellent read, lot's of neat details to dig into, do very much please continue adding gothic horror elements, they are a treat to read!
Much obliged for the tagg, too I bid you a wonderful day for whenever you happen to be reading this, mate! o/ 🌱
Hello again! (@bl4x-arr0w last of the notes on this!)
As stated in the notes, I had indeed come to the realisation that I had cut off just prior to the final paragraph, will be adding my two cents on that one and a couple other bits I noticed before then proceeding to inform you about all of Angelo's lore,
That in mind, onto this particular tale then!
- I notice the particular spelling of chaos here, would I then be correct to presume that this would be the spelling of it in your native language?
Capitalisation of the term itself also is smth I do quite enjoy, sides the significance that whole situation holds within the setting.
- had another read of this, and I notice there specifically the use of 'some librarian brains' as in multiple, seperate brains,
Which, mind you, would work towards the Frankenstein theme of the thing, as much as the additional mass required to support, clone or no, the intellect of a primarch.
Does then however make me curious as to wether this had at all an influence on Orion, that he's had the brains/parts thereof of multiple individuals, and librarians no less
-considering Bile is using these brains for the purposes of Orion's creation, I'd conclude that he'd need to have kept the tissue alive until this point, else the dead cells wouldn't be of much use to him-
what with the brain, and the consumtion thereof, being specifically how astartes are able to gain the memories of their foes,
In that vein, does Orion himself then posess the memories of these individuals he'd been created from, either in their entirety, or just fragents thereof? (Would be interesting alone for the potential of his having knowledge that would not have been shared freely with him, as much as Orion plain being homesick for a home he had not visited himself, remembering places he's not visited before,
Which, honestly, ironic some that Bile had wanted to create another perfect life, when the chance and deviation from the norm Bile had intended, actually then would serve to make Orion far closer to a regular and natural individual to you and me that way.
In a way, Bile has then successfully created life as close to natural as possible :) fitting really, for life always finds a way)
- find the use of purple to denote Bile's spoken dialogue a neat choice, in that it in this visual manner links him to the colours of his legion,
Had orginally figured pink might be a better choice, as such would denote the interst of the prince of excess,
though had then come to the realisation that purple would be more in character,
think the manner in which he had was amongst the few within the legion whom did not fall in the manner most did, had already been this way during the days of the legion, it's fall had only permitted him to pursue his goals out in the open (smth smth purple being the rarest colour in nature and thus associated with magic)
'You are thinking, aren't you'
^ almost missed this, but came to the realisation that another way to read that would be in the vein of 'I think, therefore I am'
Bile perciving Orion to be in posession of consciousness, and thus ascribing to him *sapience*. And Bile then perciving himself to be observed by Orion in turn being akin to how for many animals direct eyecontact is a threat display -Bile could have still ended Orion's life at this point, yet that percived threat being the thing that cowed him enough to elect not to do so.
All in all, some fascinating stuff to consider!
Now, to regale you with the lore of Angelo!
