_VYUK_

FINALLY! ;;

Yooran Week Day 4

AU / Mint Eye

This is my contribution for Day 4 of @yooranweek ♡ It took me a long time, because apart from the fact that it’s the first time I’ve done something as ‘elaborate’ as this, my computer died. :( I chose AU, based on a fanfic that we are creating together with some friends.♡ In this AU, Saeran has a band and Yoosung is their Manager. ☆ I hope you like it!♡

☆Song: Heart by The Pretty Reckless (male version)☆

☆Versión en español aquí | Spanish version here (My FB page)☆

A bit late, but here’s my contribution to the day 3 of Yooran Week ♡ ; ^ ;

Yooran Week Day 3

I DON’T NEED TO SLEEP, I NEED TO DRAW THESE TWO (Yeah I’m a zombie right now lol).

Well… VY2 is my favorite Vocaloid, and when I started to play MM I thought  they look similar¿? Just accept that you love Saeran in VY2 (66) clothes  AND YOOSUNG LOOKS SO FUCKING CUTE WITH LEN’S COSPLAY ;;; <3

Yooran Week Day 2  

LEAVE MY OTP ALONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 :( <3

I did this little drawing for a friend. <3  Yooran is my OTP, so I loved drawing this. 

AAAAH I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOORAN WEEK

__________________________

Quedó medio penquita el dibujo, pero AAAAAh los amo demasiado :’( <3

YEAH, YOORAN WEEK IS FINALLY HERE!!! 

So as always I apologize for my lousy English, but here’s my contribution to Yooran Week! <3

Yooran Week Day 1 

First Meeting - First Kiss.

Chapter list:

Chapter 1 - The Distrust.

Chapter 2 - The Reflection.

Chapter 3 - The Fear.

Chapter 4 - The Lie.

Chapter 5 - The sun?

Chapter 6 - The Truth.

Chapter 7 - The Guilt.

Chapter 8 - The Second Sun.

Meanwhile, Saeran ran to the nearest bus stop. He had never taken one on his own. He didn’t know how it worked, but he tried anyway. He remembered something else that Yoosung had told him about his address or where he lived, and explained that to the driver. He, with some fear, agreed to take him.

His heart beat fast all the way.

Once he got off the bus he began to analyze his environment, looking for something that resembled what at some point Yoosung mentioned to him.

Where could that place be?

Saeran approached the few passers-by who were on the street to ask for directions, but they walked away, giving him a look of repulsion, as if he were a strange creature. He was already giving up when he heard someone calling him behind his back.

“Where do you want to go, boy?”

It was an old woman’s voice. Saeran turned to look and noticed she was blind. That explained why she came to help him. He cleared his throat and tried to stay calm.

“Ah… I’m looking for a park, a small one. It’s supposed to be near building 306, or something like that, but I can’t find it…”

She seemed to understand immediately.

“You must follow the street that is in front of the building and then turn left. It is a small park, but has several trees. You’ll find it right away.”

His eyes brightened as he realized he was not that far away.

“… Thank you very much” he said in a friendly tone.

“You’re welcome. Be happy…”

Saeran began to walk, and then something prompted him to turn to see the old woman. It was probably the last thing she said, so he felt it right to thank her once again… but she was gone. He didn’t want to think about it too much and continued along the path she had pointed. Finally, in the distance, he saw a park full of trees, just as the old woman had described it. He paused to catch his breath and think of what to say when he saw Yoosung, and then it began to rain. He pulled on his coat’s hood and ran to the park, until he was under the trees. The large size they had was perfect to block the rain.

His gaze went from here to there looking for Yoosung, but he didn’t see him anywhere. Maybe he was gone because of the cold and the rain, or maybe…

“Was I wrong?” He murmured.

He began to get discouraged, although at that point a further disappointment was not a great thing. He was about to leave despite the rain, after all, there was nothing of interest for him in that park.

“Are you from the neighborhood? No one ever comes to this park, they say the area is dangerous at night.”

That voice. That blessed voice.

Saeran contained his emotions and focused on figuring out where the voice that he had longed so much lately had come from but he couldn’t find its location. He felt lucky to wear that hood, because Yoosung couldn’t recognize him because of it. He had no other explanation for Yoosung to speak so naturally.

“No… I’m a little lost” he replied, trying to change his tone so it wouldn’t be so obvious.

“Oh, I understand. You can wait for the rain to pass and then continue along that street near the playground, you would reach the avenue.”

“… Thank you.”

It was so strange to hear his voice again after all that happened, but at the same time, that sense of peace had returned just by hearing him speak for a few seconds. Although this time it was different, he felt too anxious. He wanted to see him.

A loud sound behind him took Saeran by surprise. Apparently, Yoosung was on the tree. It made sense, and as soon as he heard his footsteps approaching to his side he lowered his head and looked to the opposite side.

“The lower branches were getting wet, hehe. I like to climb that tree because nobody can see me…”He confessed with laughter. This was the drop that overflowed the glass. Saeran couldn’t stand it any longer…

“Yoosung.”

And he couldn’t stand it. He turned to look at him and took off his hood.

Yoosung’s expression changed to one that showed some pain mixed with his obvious surprise. He turned his gaze to the floor.

“I never expected to see you here… How did you find me? Did your brother track my call or put me a GPS without me noticing?” He joked reluctantly.

“You told me months ago.”

Yoosung looked up, perplexed. He didn’t expect Saeran to remember something so trivial and that even he couldn’t remember saying. It made him feel a bit special. He always knew that Saeran was listening to him, but he never imagined it to be on that level. He felt happy… but he was still hurt.

“I… I must go.”

“But it’s raining” he said quickly.

“It doesn’t matter…”

He was deeply hurt by the fact that Yoosung avoided looking directly into his eyes, but he fought the pain and took a deep breath. There was something he had to tell him.

“…Don’t leave the R.F.A”

Yoosung was about to walk away, but that made him stop. He looked into Saeran’s eyes —after a long time— and realized that the same intense gaze that frightened him a little, was now charged with a completely different feeling. He could see the pain, and his eyes were red and swollen. He knew why, had seen it in himself countless times.

“Saeran, are you ok?” He asked worriedly and trubled. Saying his name out loud made him feel strange in his chest.

“Don’t leave what you love because of me, please…”

Not even all he had cried during those days was enough, because just as he finished asking Yoosung not to leave the organization the tears began to burst out. Everything he had tried to contain was released at that moment, revealing his fragile side. That side that he didn’t want to show to anyone ever again in his life.

Yoosung was stunned, because he never thought he would see Saeran cry, much less in that situation.

“Since I was born I was tagged as bad —he began to say—. I understand if you want to hate me, I will not judge you for it. I’m the only one you should hate in this story… I can disappear from your life! I will leave you alone. I… I will do as if we had never spoken, I really can do it if you wish, but please… Don’t leave…”

Saeran couldn’t keep talking. His chest began to ache and he burst into tears, just as he had done in the shower a couple of hours ago. He lowered his head, he was deeply confused. Saeran wasn’t sure why he was doing it, he was just certain that he didn’t want to hurt Yoosung. He didn’t want anyone to hurt him… And if he had to take all the blame for it, he was willing to put up with it.

“Saeran…”

Yoosung approached, hesitating, and when he was close enough, Saeran grabbed him roughly and hugged him tightly, still crying. He buried his face in Yoosung’s neck, hugging him harder and harder despite the pain in his right arm. He couldn’t think of the pain, he couldn’t stop. He never imagined that he would like so much to make physical contact with another person, at least not after all he had lived. He never thought that the day he needed so much of someone else would come.

Saeran didn’t want to let him go, not again.

“Saeran… —whispered Yoosung— It’s okay” He said, trying to calm him down at he returned the hug.

Yoosung could feel Saeran’s shacking breath on his neck, accompanied by tears which began to soak his clothes. A light blush covered his cheeks and his heart began to beat nervously. He had hugged many people in his life for different reasons, but he had never experienced anything like that. For his part, and despite the cold, Saeran could feel directly how warm Yoosung was for the first time. And although he didn’t feel worthy of that moment, he couldn’t stop hugging him and sobbing.

“I can feel the warmth of the sun…”

Saeran didn’t know if he was delirious or something, but for the first time in days, in months, he felt true peace. It was so that his body, noticing that his mind finally calmed down, collapsed by the lack of sleep and food.

“S-Saeran?! —Exclaimed Yoosung, feeling the weight in his arms. Saeran had fainted— Damn! My phone, where I left it… Turn it on, turn it on, turn it on…”

He took Saeran to a bench that was still dry, under a tree. He couldn’t help seeing his face in complete peace as he slept.

He wondered how much Saeran have been through to reach the point of collapsing at a moment like this.

Did the distance between them affect Saeran so much?

The more he thought about it, the more he understood him, because during those days when he decided to get away from the lies of the R.F.A he couldn’t stop thinking about what Saeran would be doing in his absence. Whether he would be fine, or whether he would continue to observe the sky as every day…

Yoosung couldn’t explain it to himself clearly, but if there was something clear it was that during that period he had missed him as never before.

“Don’t get distracted, just call Seven” he reminded himself in thoughts.

____

Hours later, Saeran awoke in his room. He got a little scared and tried to sit down all too sudden, which made him dizzy. Yoosung was sitting by the desk, but after seeing him react that way he hurried to sit next to him to calm him down.

The moment their eyes met his expression changed completely. It wasn’t a dream, Yoosung really was there with him once more. He felt pathetic, since he let him see his weaker side.

A half-awkward silence took over the room, but it was Yoosung who decided to break it —as usual—.

“While you were unconscious Seven came to talk to me, and you’re right. I shouldn’t leave the things I love… So I will not leave the R.F.A.”

“… I’m glad to hear that” he replied, trying to hide his happiness.

Yoosung gave a light chuckle.

“I don’t hate you, either. Truth is I can’t hate you, hehe…”

A small spark flared in Saeran’s eyes, but he preferred to look away.

“Are you sure of what you’re saying? I’m not a good person…”

“I will judge that” replied the blonde, laughing, to which Saeran let out a sigh.

“I don’t deserve it —he paused—. I… I must tell you something important.”

Yoosung opened his eyes in surprise, but remained silent, waiting for Saeran to continue.

“For me… you are like the sun” he said with some sadness.

“The sun?” He asked confused.

Saeran nodded, and took some air to continue explaining.

“The sun is radiant and warm despite everything. It guides your way through the day, and gives his light to the moon to guide you through the night. Yoosung… for me you are like this; Radiant, warm. During all these months you have only enlightened my way, as if you were the sun. But, I don’t deserve that light. I’ll probably never deserve it…”

His expression became even sadder after confessing this, and Yoosung noticed it immediately. It was only a matter of seconds before his body moved on its own and caught Saeran in his arms.

“Stop saying you don’t deserve it, because we all deserve new opportunities. If you think that I am like the sun for you, then let me guide you from now on and together we will make you stop believing that you are a bad person. I’m sure soon everyone will see how fantastic you are, too. Because you’re amazing, you are special, Saeran.”

“Yoosung…” he murmured, as he left the hug. He felt strange, but in a good way. He looked at Yoosung in the eyes and he gave him a smile, which he replied shyly.

It was after this that he finally managed to identify that feeling. Something different from the love he felt for his brother, watching the sky or having some ice cream. Something completely different from a simple friendship. Now that he had finally found the words to express himself, he didn’t know how to say them. There were so many emotions together that Saeran felt they could overflow at any moment.

He knew that if he said the typical words would create an uncomfortable environment, so he preferred to say it in a more… particular way.

“I always looked to the sky for peace, but what makes the sky so clear is the sun. Without the sun, we are nothing…”

“It’s true —he added—. Its light is the same for everyone.”

“I love the sunlight —He said nervously—. I… I want you to be my second sun, Yoosung.”

“His second sun?” Thought Yoosung, ashamed.

He felt the blood rise to her head, making his cheeks crimson red. Yes, it was only moments ago that he offered himself to be like the sun, but the way Saeran told him… He felt a second intention. Actually, it sounded like a declaration of love.

He started laughing nervously, while Saeran looked at him carefully for an answer. He took a little breath, cleared his throat and looked into his eyes somewhat embarrassed.

“I… I want to be your second sun, Saeran.”

At that moment he didn’t know if he was dead or dreaming, since he was sure to be seeing an angel. Saeran smiled at him as he had never seen before, and as he came up to give him another hug, he noticed something very particular.

It was just them two, there, in that special moment that would remain forever in their memories.

They were not predestined, and it was probably for this very reason that they would never find each other on their next life. Nonetheless, in that instant as they hugged each other, something so minimal for everything they both wanted to prove, that… Only with that, they felt complete.

Like the moon and the sun…

_______________

As it is the last day, I will upload the last two chapters in a row. First chapter 7, and in a few hours I will upload Chapter 8. In this way I prevent you from getting confused with chapters. ^^ ’

So… Here’s chapter 7!

Chapter list:

Chapter 1 - The Distrust.

Chapter 2 - The Reflection.

Chapter 3 - The Fear.

Chapter 4 - The Lie.

Chapter 5 - The sun?

Chapter 6 - The Truth.

Chapter 7 - The Guilt.

Since that rainy day the weather seemed to not have the courage to change. Afternoons were cold, not to mention mornings or evenings. Saeran used to listen to his brother’s television, since often he would raise the volume to the maximum without realizing, and thanks to this he learned of a couple of important things —and others not so much—. One of those important things was that there was an occasional front, apparently coming from another area and should be away in the coming days, giving place to a warm evening. However, Saeran associated it directly with his state of mind.

He believed that the bad weather was a kind of “karma”, all because a couple of days ago he had been very clear about what he felt when he said that “he didn’t deserve to see the sunlight”. He thought that the cloudy sky was some kind of punishment, and that the sun was hiding from his field of vision.

Saeran had never stopped to think of the sun, and he had never imagined that he would want to feel the rays of light in his face so much. Of course, that would also be a kind of fantasy, since the only reason he longed for something like that was because of who he considered his sun was no longer by his side.

He was sad, sinking into negative thoughts every minute.

After several days feeling the same, Saeran stopped leaving his room. Before, he used to go get ice cream or something else to eat or drink, but now he didn’t even do that. He only went out to go to the bathroom. He was still stuck by his window, waiting for the sky to clear and watch its beautiful blue color. Only that way he would feel free again.

There was a moment when he didn’t even go to the bathroom anymore, and Saeyoung worried a lot. He came to see him in his room and could confirm that his brother was still in the same pose sitting by the window. He looked thinner —because he didn’t even take in consideration the food that Saeyoung got him—, his dark circles had gotten worse, and his eyes were red and somewhat swollen. He supposed that the reason was that he had cried too much in recent days.

Slowly he moved to him and placed his hand on his shoulder.

“Saeran, you haven’t left your room in almost two days. Come… I made some food, and there’s ice cream too. If you feel so bad you can take a bath or shower first…”

There was no response.

He began to stroke his shoulder gently, trying to get him to react, and then Saeran got up and headed to the bathroom on his own. It was little, but that gave Saeyoung some respite. In addition, he could now use the instance to do something he had in mind several days ago. He went to his room and, already installed on his computer, began typing insistently.

Saeran entered the bathroom, turned on the hot water tap, and withdrew his hand immediately as he felt it burning. Even in his state he did his best to regulate it. He needed to take a shower.

He undressed, got into the shower and, after putting his head under the stream… broke into tears again. He no longer wept of sorrow, now it was only anger. Rage on himself, for being so useless. He grabbed his hair and sat in a corner of the shower, still sobbing.

He began to think about what he thought every day, and that was that probably he was the only one to blame in all this history, since if he hasn’t been so weak and easy to manipulate, probably none of this would have ever happened. It all came down to that he could have been smarter and realize that they were using and even drugging him… He could have trusted more in the love that his brother had for him, and in the love that himself had for his brother too, regardless of the years. If it had not been for Mint Eye… maybe he could have had a normal friendship with Yoosung and the rest of the R.F.A. But at the same time, the idea that he couldn’t imagine a different context to know everyone invaded his mind. Everything would be so different… And even though it hurt, he felt a little grateful.

Thanks to everything that happened, he knew the best of Yoosung.

Of course now it could only be a beautiful memory and nothing more. He didn’t understand how such a good person could want to approach someone who was evil from birth.

As he thought about it, his left hand went to his right arm, where he had his tattoo… and began to scratch it intensely. It was painful and useless, but he believed that punishing himself and the traces of one of the great culprits of his pain would help him feel a little better. His arm began to burn, and as he looked at it, he noticed that it had begun to bleed.

“I deserve it… I deserve this and more…” he said to himself, sobbing.

He looked down at his hands, the same ones which he almost killed his brother, and then his eyes focused on the hand that held the gun. Yes, the gun with which he shot V causing his death.

He clenched his teeth, and with his opposite hand began to tighten his wrist strongly, to the point where both reddened. He didn’t know what to do. Any attempt to pay for what he had done seemed insufficient. He even came to think that what happened with Yoosung was a kind of punishment, too.

Saeyoung knocked on the door, pulling him out of his thoughts, so he decided it was best to hurry up with the shower and get out as soon as possible. He bathed properly, not caring for the wounds on his arm, and left.

As soon as he got out to the hall, his brother saw the blood coming from the deep scratches on his arm. He approached quickly with obvious concern.

“What the hell happened to you?! Answer, Saeran! What did you do?!”

For every question he asked, it was more difficult for him to contain the tears. He felt like a helpless child again, and it bothered him so much.

He didn’t want to answer Saeyoung’s questions, and continued quietly to his room, where he dried himself carefully and wrapped his arm with some bandages he kept there. He dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and one of his sports pants, then returned to his usual place. His white hair was dripping over his face as he looked out the window, and he accidentally fell asleep there. Although this didn’t last long since a nightmare woke him within minutes.

He heard something in the living room, so he decided to go to his door to hear it better. He didn’t feel like leaving his room.

It turned out to be his brother talking on the phone. Apparently he argued with someone and assumed it was work, so he turned around to lie down on the bed once again, but…

“… I’m serious, Yoosung.”

Saeran felt his heart stop and he didn’t understand why. His confusion was more when it began to beat so hard that he could almost feel that it was going to come out of his chest. He could even hear the throbbing…

Still fearful of the conversation, he continued to listen carefully. He didn’t care what it was. As long as it was about Yoosung… he cared.

“… No, no —Saeyoung continued—. I already told you the truth…! Don’t you want to believe it? Yoosung, we hid it to protect you, we knew it would hurt you to know what she did… What? No! If we told you everything at once it would have been worse! Don’t you understand? Besides, Saeran… Hey, Yoosung? What’s going on? Are you crying?”

Hearing this, Saeran felt a lump in his throat. He felt bad, thinking that even hearing his name made Yoosung suffer.

Did he hate him so much now?

“… You know under what context everything happened. Rika was mentally ill, Saeran was not himself, and well, V… Uhm, Yoosung, why are you crying so much?… How that you want to leave the R.F.A?!” Saeyoung shouted.

“Leave the R.F.A?” Saeran muttered to himself.

He felt more and more guilty about what he had done. Now, Yoosung thought of leaving aside one of the things he loved the most, only for the lies, which although Saeran didn’t tell, he was part of them.

“Where are you? —asked the older twin— I’ll go see you right now. No, I will not return your LOLOL account until we talk and fix this… Your secret place? And where is that?… Hello? Yoosung?… Did he hung up?!

While Saeyoung continued to argue alone, Saeran began to process the information.

His secret place… Saeran knew that. He was sure Yoosung had told him about it once, though he only mentioned it vaguely. However, he remembered every word in detail.

He started to hesitate, but in the end something inside told him to do it, so he started looking for a coat and got ready to leave. He didn’t even bother on drying his hair, and sped away with the adrenaline rushing through his veins.

Saeyoung noticed it, but when he was about to run after his brother, he remembered that he was only wearing his underwear… of space rockets. Yoosung had switched off his phone and it was obvious that Saeran wouldn’t answer his calls, what should he do?

At least he had one thing clear, and that was that he had to get dressed before he did anything.

I found an old laptop, so I think I can finish the drawing of the 4th day of Yooran Week.♡ I’ll be late… but I will. And… Here’s the chapter 6☆

Chapter list:

Chapter 1 - The Distrust.

Chapter 2 - The Reflection.

Chapter 3 - The Fear.

Chapter 4 - The Lie.

Chapter 5 - The sun?

Chapter 6 - The Truth.

Saeran was still sitting there, his eyes closed, remembering every word Yoosung had said about what his cousin thought of the sun. It even was somewhat ridiculous, but remembering the explanation he gave about what Rika felt for V and how she related him to the sun, couldn’t help thinking about a thing.

He felt that Yoosung was becoming his sun.

Despite of his insecurities, he considered him someone radiant, warm, someone who decided to guide his way with his light despite the difficulties that arose on the road, especially for his very withdrawn personality. However, there was something that prevented him from accepting his feelings, and that was that he couldn’t feel comfortable being himself with Yoosung.

Why? Simple. A lie divided them.

After thinking about it, the vague images of that tragic day began to echo in his mind. His head started to ache, causing him to complain in a low voice. He grabbed his hair and pulled it in a poor attempt to stop his mind, but it was in vain. Fortunately —if it can be called fortune— someone listened him and went to his aid.

“Saeran! Are you okay?!” Yoosung asked worriedly as he came running and crouched beside him.

He couldn’t explain how he succeeded, but at the mere sound of his voice, his mind stopped shouting and he calmed down.

Was Yoosung’s voice some kind of medicine for him? If so, it seemed much better than any drug the doctors wanted to give him. Drugs that, of course, he didn’t take, since both he and his brother refused to include them in a possible treatment.

He began to wonder if doctors could consider Yoosung’s voice as an alternative treatment. Although the idea left his mind as soon as it arrived, because he felt tremendously embarrassed to think of such a thing. And even more having the medicine itself in front of him.

Saeran looked up as he suppressed the pain that the anguish was still stirring in his chest.

“Why did you leave? Seven is worried… I was too —he confessed, somewhat annoyed—. Don’t leave without warning again, okay?”

“Radiant and warm… I don’t deserve this light.” Saeran repeated himself in thoughts.

“I…”

Yoosung let out a giggle.

“If you want we can go back to your house and watch a movie. I could even stay there and sleep on the couch, what do you say?”

Saeran stared at him, incredulous at the kindness he could see in him. He cursed himself, because he was clear that someone like him was not worthy of receiving such kindness.

Without realizing it, he had made a difficult decision.

He stood up carefully and Yoosung imitated him, understanding the gesture as an “I accept your proposal”, but as soon as he smiled and turned to walk away, Saeran spoke.

“Yoosung.”

The boy froze for a second. It was the first time that Saeran called him by his name when he spoke to him, and Yoosung didn’t quite know how to feel about it. He turned to look at him, and then he noticed that the intense gaze that was always in his eyes had now charged to a completely different energy. His expression was grim.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, doubting if that was a good idea.

Saeran took a deep breath, then looked him in the eyes determined.

“I killed him.”

“… Eh? What are you talking about?” he asked in confusion.

Kill? What was he talking about?

“V.”

“What about V?” he asked again.

“I… —Then Yoosung understood what Saeran was trying to say, and froze. He felt his air abandoning him, he couldn’t think of anything— I killed him”, he continued his confession.

“No… That’s impossible. V committed suicide…” He let out a strand of voice as he took a step back.

“Yoosung, I killed him.” He insisted.

“Saeran…” His voice was already breaking, and tears were coming out.

This couldn’t be happening.

“I killed him!!” Saeran shouted at the end.

After this, Yoosung couldn’t stand it anymore and began to run in the same direction he came from. He didn’t know what moved him, but a strange impulse forced Saeran to chase after Yoosung and hold him by his arm. To his bad luck, he somehow slipped out and kept running away from him.

He didn’t want to insist, because he knew that Yoosung was in his right to want to go away and forget anything that had happened between the two of them. After all, it was what just had to happen. Nothing united them… and that hurt terribly.

Saeran would never forget that moment, because that was also the first time he touched him.

Minutes later, it began to rain.

Saeyoung continued to call Yoosung to find out if he had found his brother, since he had not been able to find him by himself. However, he didn’t answer. When he was about to lose his patience, the apartment door opened, letting in a soaked Saeran.

His brother ran to meet him, worried, and grabbed him by the shoulders forcefully while he scolded him and asked for explanations. He only stopped when he noticed that some of the liquid running down Saeran’s face was not just rain, but tears. Seconds after his discovery, Saeran burst into tears as he hadn’t done in months.

His legs gave in and he fell to the floor, his back against the door.

“Saeran?”

“I… I did … I did make him cry! I don’t deserve to see the sunlight, I don’t want anything!” He yelled, as his cries grew louder.

“No, don’t say those things, little brother. Please… The sun will always be there for you” he tried to calm him down.

“No… I’m not talking about that sun, Saeyoung…”

His brother looked at him in confusion.

“What?”

In the midst of his tears, Saeran gave him a smile as he had never seen before. A smile with a mixture of sadness and satisfaction.

“I just lost my second sun… I… I told him the truth.”

“What truth?… No, wait, what did you do?! Did you tell Yoosung that truth?!”

“Such a radiant light doesn’t deserve to be seen by someone like me, Saeyoung…” He whispered in sobs.

After saying this, Saeran began to tremble without stopping. His breathing fluttered to the point that even his chest ached, so he knew he was in crisis again. His brother did his best to reassure him, but he couldn’t. It was a long time before he got Saeran to calm down a little, and when he did, he escorted him to his room and left some dry clothes on the bed.

Saeran didn’t feel like it but he got changed, and then, like months ago, he looked back at the sky through his window looking for peace. Much to his regret, he found that there were only dark clouds, due the rain.

Silently, he began to cry again.

I’m so sad, because I was drawing the fanart and my computer just stopped working. The screen is black and doesn’t works… Fortunately, the progress was saved ;; but I’m not sure that I can upload fanarts according to the day during the week. Maybe I’ll be late for it ;; Well, at least I have the fanfic for you! So here’s the chapter 5 uwu

Chapter list:

Chapter 1 - The Distrust.

Chapter 2 - The Reflection.

Chapter 3 - The Fear.

Chapter 4 - The Lie.

Chapter 5 - The sun?

Days passed, turning into weeks, and Yoosung didn’t understand when everything had become so different. Each visit was colder than the previous one, and Saeran no longer responded as before. It was as if they had gone back to the beginning, where he only stared out the window and ignored his presence, even knowing he was there. Yoosung began to wonder what he could have done wrong to make it all turn that way, but he couldn’t find an answer. Only managed to associate it to that day when he began to talk about Rika and V, when Saeran asked about his career. Had that made him angry? Perhaps Seven was right that it was a tricky subject for him? If that was the case, then he understood that Saeran would get upset, though he didn’t think the change would be so abrupt.

What was happening hurt him a lot, especially since Saeran had become someone very important and special to him. He didn’t have many friends off screen, and for him, Saeran was that and much more. He was grateful that someone with his past had trusted an ordinary person like him. It was different from the friendship he had with Saeyoung. Saeran… made him feel more than that. By his side he felt that he could talk about anything and he would listen, even if he didn’t care about the subject. He noticed it, since he seemed to be an observant and attentive person from the beginning, despite his indifference.

Day after day of visits, he tried to keep the thread of the conversation going, but Saeran’s indifference made him want to see him carefully, waiting for him to turn to look him in the eye, as before… but this didn’t happen.

One day while Yoosung was trying to find a topic of conversation as he struggled with Saeran’s rejection, Yoosung began to despair.

What could he do?

“You know… Maybe this doesn’t matter to you, but I don’t have many friends —He began to say—. When I went to school it was different, there I was quite popular, but after entering the university everything changed… I wanted to change my image, and I even found a hobby that is LOLOL… I… I haven’t said this to anyone else, but the truth is that I feel so envious of people like you. Jumin, Zen, Jaehee, Seven, Rika, even V… and you too —His voice cracked a little, causing Saeran to turn to him slyly after weeks of pretending to ignore him. Then he noticed that Yoosung was doing his best to hold back a pout, it seemed that he was about to cry—. I am just an ordinary person, without grace. I don’t have great talents beyond playing all day. If it wasn’t for the university, I would be a total slacker… It hurts a lot to think that you are good for nothing, that you will never reach those you admire no matter how hard you try. And it hurts even more when the one you want to reach insists on steadily getting away from you. I… Ah, I don’t know what I do saying all this, I must be making a fool of myself” He finished saying, covering his face with both hands.

He really felt he was making a fool of himself, but just when he was going to resign himself and run, a presence alerted him.

He removed his hands from his face, and could see that Saeran was only inches away. He gasped, because he didn’t even notice when he got out of bed and crouched in front of him.

What a bad day to sit on the floor and not the usual chair, huh?

His cheeks burned, his heart felt like it was coming out of his chest. Saeran’s eyes were fixed on his again, after weeks of rejection.

What was happening?

“Ah…” he tried to articulate.

“You are not an ordinary person.”

“What are you saying…?” he murmured, looking away to the floor.

“In my opinion you are not an ordinary person. A normal person wouldn’t have insisted so much on me.”

“Is that… a compliment?” He asked himself.

Saeran sighed and returned to his place on the bed by the window, watching the sky. He knew that if he stayed much longer near Yoosung something could happen, although he couldn’t define exactly what.

What Yoosung made him feel was an indescribable for him, and after weeks of rejection he couldn’t stand it anymore. Again he hated his weakness and lack of courage, but he knew that sooner or later his punishment for being so pathetic would come, and that comforted him in a very particular way, although he didn’t stop worrying.

Yoosung, for his part, still had his face reddened by what had just happened. He tried to think of something else, but the image of the other boy’s eyes so close to him was lingering in his mind. His heart was racing faster and faster, so he thought it would be a good idea to try to talk about something else to forget it or at least to distract himself.

“This… —He began to stutter— Why do you always look at the sky?”

The moment Saeran heard that question, his expression changed to one of nostalgia and some sadness, causing the blond to regret immediately for having let that doubt out of his mind. He thought it was very foolish of him to ask Saeran something like that, since he knew it was something he did insistently. It probably had to do with his painful past and he didn’t know… But to his surprise, Saeran left any negative thoughts aside and replied.

“When I see the sky, I feel free —He starts to explain—. There is no pain. Clouds always change its shapes, so it’s also interesting to guess what they look like.”

Yoosung felt relief in his chest after Saeran answered his question, and inadvertently —And in the midst of emotion— he screwed it again.

“Oh, I see… Hehe, Rika used to watch the sun a lot after V died. It must be something similar…”

After realizing that he had begun to talk again about his cousin, he covered his mouth, but Saeran was sympathetic and followed the flow.

Deep down, he missed talking to him. Even if it was about her.

“Maybe… Why did she see the sun?”

Yoosung was puzzled by the sudden question, even more so with a question about his cousin. But since it was something that would not happen any often, he tried to remember everything Rika had told him about it.

“Well, Rika said… She said that V was like the sun.”

Saeran looked at him in confusion.

“V?”

“Yes —he nodded— that’s what she said. I remember that many times while we were talking, she mentioned that V was like the sun. She used to tell me that with him she felt safe, because she knew that in his company she could show her true self without fear. That he would accept her as she was… To her, V was the light of her life, radiant as the sun, bathing her with his warm soul and leading her way. I don’t understand very well what Rika was trying to tell me, but I always interpreted it as that he was a very good person with her… Well, Rika also said that I wouldn’t understand it until I tried it, hehe…“

When Yoosung finished explaining, Saeran was thoughtful about it.

The sun… radiant, warm, a light that guided your path. That made you feel sure to be who you really are, as it would always come to illuminate your life.

Saeran glanced up at the sky once more, then hid his head between his knees, which he held lightly.

Yoosung started to worry when he saw him act like that all of a sudden.

“Hey, do you feel bad? Do you want me to bring you something?”

Saeran turned his head so that only one of his eyes could see Yoosung.

“No, I’m fine. Just … let’s talk about something else.”

“Let’s talk…” Thought Yoosung with some excitement. Okay, they had been talking for a while, but it made him happy to think that everything would be back to normal.

“Okay” He murmured with a smile as he tried to think of some subject that might be of interest for him.

The afternoon passed just like it used to do be a few weeks ago when everything was fine. Sunset was already approaching, so Yoosung decided it was best to leave. He said goodbye as usual and retired in silence with a smile in his face.

After talking about the sun with Yoosung, Saeran couldn’t stop thinking about the subject. He felt suffocated by being in his room, so he got ready and left without his brother seeing him, because it was obvious that he would stop him. According to him, he was not yet able to go to the outside world.

Saeran could live with that, since he never felt the need to leave… but this time was different.

It was starting to get dark and Saeran was just wandering aimlessly down the street. He managed to reach a nearby park, where he looked for the most distant tree and sat by the foot of it. To his luck, it was surrounded by other trees, so it was a perfect hideaway.

The wind began to blow quite strongly, and Saeran supposed that it was due to recent climate changes. However, he didn’t give it more importance and continued there, leaning on the trunk with his eyes closed.

As Saeran tried to calm his mind, Saeyoung became aware of his absence and began to despair. The first thing he thought of was to call the only person with whom he had contact. He knew Yoosung would never take him without warning, but he wanted to make sure he was okay. Although, to his bad luck, the instant of answering the call and hearing the question, Yoosung replied immediately that his brother was not with him. Both began to worry, and then Yoosung offered his help to the older twin, which he accepted delightedly.

What worried Saeyoung the most was the latest weather report, where they had announced heavy rain during the evening.