life is like a rollercoaster and rn feels like the part before the drop, uncertain, neverending, and out of reach.

depression is such an odd thing, i never feel fulfilled. It’s so hard to “change the way i think” and be happy with where i am now. I sometimes feel like I push myself too hard to be successful but i don’t know what the end goal is. So i just keep going and going and going and going and nothing is ever enough. I can never rest and say i’m glad i did that, because i just want more and more and more. Maybe that’s not depression maybe it’s something else but that’s how i feel. Like i’m constantly trying to meet a bar that is out of reach bc i keep setting it higher and higher. I don’t know how to be happy with myself, to be at peace with myself.

whoever told sarah about me, bless ur soul and may your pillow ALWAYS be cold on BOTH sides forever

I’m going to win because i know someone is wishing i wont.

been listening to aphex twin radio on spotify all day just to see you’re in your aphex bag too, hey twinnn

and we’re still somehow always on the same wave…

sometimes it’s hard talking to my non school friends about my struggles in school. And i mean I get it to them they don’t understand so they don’t really care but sometimes I wish i had more people who understood my struggle, i know i don’t need it but it DOES take a village. And rn my village is patty of 1

being an interesting person is difficult when you’ve lived you’re entire life being ignored or belittled. It’s weird for people to appreciate you for simply who you are. I’ve been dealing with that feeling lately and sometimes it’s hard to put it into words. I didn’t understand why i sometimes felt like i was in the wrong room all the time. Then i realized im not used to eyes on me. I’m not used to people wanting to talk to me wanting to know more about me. I’m so used to flying under the radar. Everything I am is a true reflection of me. It’s interesting that people are seeing that for the first time in my life and are intrigued and want more. It’s a new feeling.

i remember being really mean to you. I didn’t mean to I just didn’t understand what i was going through

i’m glad your listening to your music again, i hope you come back to yourself and remember all the things that made you feel alive

i talk about my achievements because it reminds me that i’m coming back to myself

just found out my ex is having a baby….. god is GREAT !

i’ve stopped looking for the bad in everything because of you

you helped me see something in myself i was afraid to look for because i thought it didn’t exist

is it weird when you know a dynamic is changing, but you aren’t hurt by it?