When One Day, I tried to Blog

#NewThingsDuringQuarantine

One day, I found the relevance of the time to draft a reasonably sounding answer to a question often asked to me and to other single women in their 20′s. If like me, maybe you have been caught up with what seemed like a frivolous question, which you never really got to answer in a wholesome manner because of lack of proper chance.  So you settle to a ridiculous reply just to end the conversation because you know in your mind that you would rather not attempt wasting an energy to wrap an answer only to end up sounding absurd and incongruous to what you really meant to say. Then afterwards, you regret your silly answer and start ruminating on what you could have answered to the question “Bakit wala ka pang Boyfriend?” (”Why are not you in a relationship now?”)

A question which at some point may have pressured you and made you think like there is something wrong with being single. Well, let me drop here some of my “whys” which I also like to share to the single and waiting ladies out there.

The first why is that I am still waiting for the man that will measure up to the standards. This may sound a bit ambitious, but for me, its imperatively appropriate. I am not sorry, and I remain unapologetic to set those standards because I think in the long term. If that boyfriend will be the man that I will marry one day and will be with me for the rest of my life; therefore, I should not settle for less. Because the choices I make now will surely define what my future will be like as a wife, a mom, or as a career woman. I know that I can trust God with the waiting because God defined my very value and worth, and I am assured that God’s intentions are to give me what’s something of great reward. The reward is the man who both fears, obeys, and loves God with all his heart. The man who searched God’s will to find me. The man who waited and unceasingly prayed for me and our future. The man who also set a standard in choosing me. The man is the answered prayer. The man is the promise of God.

Second why is that God is still molding me to be the woman that I am made to be. The woman soon to be ready to handle such commitment. Many women romanticize relationships to be all kiligs and saya. Belonging in the NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth) club, I have heard that being in a relationship is way more complicated than it seems.  Doesn’t it scare you to have someone to share your time, attention, and energy when most of time, you don’t seem to have enough time for yourself or for others important to you because you juggle with the many roles that you play as a individual, daughter, sibling, friend, student, career woman, etc. So if you really think about your season of being single and waiting, as lame and boring then think again. Single and waiting ladies out there, embrace that season which actually spares you of possible heartaches, distractions, wasted time, and wasted money while you get the freedom to enjoy more of yourself, to know about your passion or interests as you dedicate yourself to your craft, to find where you are truly happy, to keep dreaming of your ambition, and to be a great contribution to whatever cause you intent to do. And most especially, to learn to be in contentment as a strong confident independent woman (for now) who makes wise decisions, not insecure of societal pressure or judgement, anchors her security to the one who holds her future, and enjoys the most of the season till it last.

And if you ever feel like doubting your waiting or if you ever feel like worrying if you will ever going to find or marry a man someday? Remember that if you desired to be married and to raise a family in the future, believe that it shall be granted for you. Believe that that desire existed because it has a purpose to fulfill. In the first place, isn't God who gave you that desire for marriage, and isn’t also his role to grant them at his right time?

In my early morning lull while staying at home for almost 6 weeks since the enhanced community quarantine, I found myself listening to Hillsong’s Peace Project Album which plays a compilation of Christmas Songs that I used to listen in the Christmas season of 2019. I sat by the chair alone in my room, and I shut the doors close to have an intimate moment while adjusting just the right amount of volume on my headphones. Little by little, I found myself captivated by the music and lyrics, my emotions uplifted until I am grooving and dancing to the beat of the songs.

As I was being carried away, I suddenly felt an amount of joyfulness sprinkled into my soul. My mind wandered in remembering how Christmas was. The time when everyone feels warm, cheery, and light-spirited in celebrations with family, loved ones, friends, or co-workers. The time when even as early as September, people get excited by the thought of anticipating it. The time that turned unlikely different compared to what the world is collectively experiencing right now.  Fast forward from the merriest and the most wonderful time of the year, maybe like me, you came to ask about these questions:

Is it possible to be joyful and hopeful even in this time of uncertainty and difficulty? Where can joy and hope be found during this global health crisis?

As a Christian believer, it amazes me how God uses creative ways of communicating to us personally. In church, it was taught that God is loving and intimately close to us that if people are only aware and willing to listen, they can see the limitless opportunities of God reaching on them to call their attention. As for me, reminiscing about Christmas and its songs, were the means of God in speaking the truths that encouraged me just when I needed it the most. I hope to share with you, how God spoke to me by listening to these songs and by devoting a time to hear His still small voice in the middle of all the distracting noises around.

Given the unprecedented event that we are facing today, we cannot blame ourselves for feeling negative. For humans to feel fearful, anxious, depressed, or hopeless because of bad circumstances are totally normal. Humans are emotional beings, and it is a part of our mechanism to feel the way we feel in order to adapt to the given situation. And as rational human beings, we still have the authority not to let our problems control us. You are capable to control what you will feel and how you will behave in whatever uncontrollable situation that may come your way. I hope that you will not wait for this global health crisis to end before you choose to be joyful. Know that you can still find and choose joy in whatever painful, depressing, or hopeless situation you are in right now. When joy only depends in the happy events of life such as birthdays, graduations, promotions, or travels, then expect joy to be robbed of you for almost always. Do not wait for the world to give you joy, but you can approach the one true source of joy. That joy can only be found in God. If He is the source of joy, then our joy will be richly sustained and surely available for our times of trouble and need. Carry the joy of the Lord through the good and bad times. You can still find joy when you anchor it not to whatever uncertain event life may give, but to the one who is constant, faithful, unfailing, and everlasting. Choosing to remain in God is allowing yourself to experience the joy which shall overflow and bless those around you.

Be joyful always, pray at all times, be thankful in all circumstances. This is what God wants from you in your life in union with Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 GNT)

First point is that you can freely choose the joy whose source is God. The joy that will remain in you both during the season of blessing and most especially during the season of life’s testing. Being joyful while having faith to who He says He is and to the promises that He kept for those who believe.

Moving on, picture with me a typical church service every Christmas season. I know that you imagine the colorful decorations, spirit-filled choir singers, and the gift-giving activities. If you are a regular church goer, the story of Jesus’ birth has been familiar to you already. But, do you remember the central message taught back then? How the reason of the season was often emphasized for us not to forget given our tendency to be busy about Christmas schedules and agendas? Now, I understand why we must be reminded of the reason of that season. The reason of that season, which is Jesus born to be our Savior, must be alive in our hearts in no other time but now when hope is so difficult to find. If we acknowledge that Christmas is nothing without Christ, then having Christ as the Savior of the World is what should give us hope. Jesus became the Savior because He knew that we would go through problems in this life that only Him is capable to save us through.

Not only is He our Savior, but He is also the Emmanuel. Do you remember what the name Emmanuel stands for? It means God with Us. How amazing that our Savior not only saves but that he also promises to be with us always. To walk with us and remain in us through His spirit’s presence and word. Where can we find hope? We can find hope through the finish work of our Savior on the cross when He conquered our greatest problem of sin and death 2,000 years ago. We hope on His many promises including the eternal life for those who will believe in what He has done.

Let us hold on firmly to the hope we profess, because we can trust God to keep his promise (Hebrews 10:23 GNT) 

Second point is that we can have hope because as followers of Jesus, we are marching not just towards our personal or everyday victory, but towards the eternal glory that Jesus prepared for us. Our hope will bring us security and confidence in this present lifetime until eternity. For it is not called hoping if what we are hoping for is right in front of us already. Therefore, we keep our eyes fixed on the things unseen and yet to be unveiled before us.

As I end, I want you to remember Christ in Christmas- the reason of the season. May this always resonate in our hearts. May we never forget of the joy and hope that Christ made available for us already and is still available for us today. Whoever and wherever you are, you can ask him to fill you with that joy and hope right now. How could the God who loves you, will not also give you these things that you ask of him?  You can ask God to give you an overflow, especially in this time when physical contact and touch is limited because of social distancing, family gatherings and reunions restricted by enhanced community quarantine, life-filled colorful streets turned into empty spaces of military checkpoints.

In spite it all, gift giving remained. Individuals, families, and organizations joining to extend a helping hand in providing food, medical supplies, and other necessities for the ill-patients, the front liners, the mentally and emotionally vulnerable, and the poor people in our society, should richly bless our hearts. But most of all, we can give because someone first gave us the greatest gift of all. Freely given once and for all. On that one silent night in the humble town of Bethlehem, the gift comes in the name of Jesus, the Lord and Savior of us all.