a 10 on the Funktronic Groovometer

5. Akroma, Angel of Fury - Man, what's up with all those other colors trying to /control/ you, man? Eff that. Also those wings. Mainly the wings. 4. Ash Zealot - She is SO ANGRY. 3. Chandra's Spitfire - I always thought this was a fun card to build around. The focal point of one of my first constructed decks. 2. Markov Blademaster - She gets out of hand fast and everyone wants to kill her. Sounds like my kind of card. 1. Urabrask the Hidden - New Phyrexia was a bit too spooky for me (robo-plague infection and cyborg people...) but man, Urabrask is too cool for school. Really cool how red becomes the anti-villain color in a world of machinist uniformity.

5. Econologed 4. Glumble 3. Sr. James Hotel 2. Fucked 1. Down in the Mission

5. The Loudest Songs Dare I say it? This song sounds kind of like the better tracks from In With the Out Crowd, or at least very similar to the Greetings and Salutations batch. The main instrumental part is subtlety intricate and pretty cool.

4. Do the Math Great intro, I love the guitar and bass playing off each other. Any time Chris holds a long note over a repeated bridge is a wonderful time in my book.

3. A Short History Lesson This song is like, entirely chorus, but it's short so whatever. I love how Roger's voice wavers.

2. Good Enough Is there a Less Than Jake album opener that I don't like? No, I don't think so. Good joint vocals on the chorus, neither is really the lead and it carries a powerful sound. The bass flourish during the final chorus gives me chills.

5. This One is Going to Leave a Bruise Fast and sharp, plus one of the few tracks where Roger sings the verses and Chris handles the chorus. It actually makes it sound really unique compared to their other stuff. The horns at the end provide some good punch.

4. Malachi Richter's Liquor's Quicker Songs about suicide by way of self-immolation don't come along very often. Sounds kind of like a Borders and Boundaries-era song, horns only present during the bridge and final chorus, where they perform excellently. Good job on Chris belting out the last chorus too.

3. Summon Monsters Hey Roger, nice solo at the beginning and all (odd that Less Than Jake has such a prominent bass but rarely any solos), but could you turn your bass up a little bit? This kind of thing plagues the album and it's my biggest complaint about it. It's a pretty modern-era Less Than Jake sound, reconciled with their harder punk roots, which makes for a pretty groovy track.

2. Conviction Notice Very Hello Rockview. One hell of a catchy chorus, what really brings this one together is Roger's vocals on the bridge. Good horns, good bass, catchy chorus, good bridge, it's practically a successful paint by numbers Less Than Jake track.

5. Jay Frenzal - (couldn't find this one) Brief and vulgar. The kind of thing that was missing from Anthem.

4. National Anthem - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGrp6T7qvIw Almost feels like a sequel to Last Hour of the Last Day of Work. Quick and to the point, and a return to Roger's more gruff vocals than the majority of this and their last album.

3. Portrait of a Cigarette Smoker at 19 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrSlB0evZM8 Very catchy, almost sounds like a Hello Rockview song even. The horns are a little quiet again, but what are you gonna do?

2. Sleep It Off - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYF6_T7nNIk Just a great all around song. One of my favorite Less Than Jake hornline bridges on this one. Cool bit at the end where the horns do a groovy solo sendoff.

5. The Science of Selling Yourself Short - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVl0rdtE9iM It was a tough choice between this and Welcome to the New South, but for whatever reason I was compelled to pick this track over it's competition today. This is a very Roger-centric list, isn't it? One of the very few Less Than Jake songs that sticks to the slower ska rhythm throughout the track, it has a distinct sound within their oeuvre. Good hornline (natch), good singalong chorus, and Chris really delivers on the bridge with sexy sax man JR jamming in the background. The solo trombone for the last repetitions of the main hornline in the outro is a nice touch.

4. Best Wishes to Your Black Lung - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rG0BV0SJUI4 The horns are what really make this song. I absolutely love the intro hornline, again making good use of /played once with trombone, then again with accompanying saxophone for emphasis/. Even better is when it's used as the bridge with the vocals holding out "your black luuung" over it. Chills down my spine, man. Chris delivers on the chorus after a nice buildup from Roger's prechorus. The dueling sax and trombone at the end of the track bring the song to a satisfying close.

3. Plastic Cup Politics - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AryRw7mY90I A groovy jam throughout. Really interesting guitar work in the verse, very different from the Less Than Jake norm. As a small touch, I like how they have everyone chime in for the "all your friends" lyric in the first verse. Also love how the guitar and bass drop out, then pick up with the drums right before the chorus. It's a good abrupt contrast to the very loose verse. I dig the lyrics, they're pretty hard-hitting and obviously speak to my experiences.

2. Short Fuse Burning - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPhbwVbqszw One of the fastest Less Than Jake songs. Sweet guitar riff, accompanied by good bass work. Roger nails it with his backing vocals in the chorus and bridge, along with the vocal harmony at the end of the chorus and in the 2nd verse. The horns on the bridge are too quiet, a problem that plagues a good chunk of the album. Overall this song is just explosive

1. Motown Never Sounded So Good - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJDnhpEELeQ The most egregious example of the horns being too quiet on the album (though it's close between this and Short Fuse Burning), but I'll forgive it. It has a very fun and acrobatic bassline for the chorus, Chris' vocal contributions are short but sweet. Interestingly, the lyrics (or at least the delivery) get more melancholy and sound more desperate as the song goes on. And it turns out I lied, Nervous in the Alley is not the only Less Than Jake song to feature keys. They add a nice bit of flash here, so it's another welcome addition.

5. Gainesville Rock City - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVE5dOyqPQg Well, here's one of those fan-favorite tracks. Gainesville Rock City is definitely closer to a kind of arena rock anthem than most Less Than Jake songs get. Gotta love that soaring horn intro into the raw guitar riff. The end where the guitar and bass take turns playing the main riff before doing it together is sick. If I recall correctly, this is one of their first songs that's a very open love letter to their hometown. I love how the video is mostly little factoids about their songs and places that are important to them around Gainesville.

4. Look What Happened - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGDqAHT1M-I And another of the fan-favorite tracks on Borders and Boundaries. For the most part I prefer this version over the one that appears on their next album, Anthem, save for Roger's vocals and some crispness in the instrumentation. This version makes up for it with more booming horns and the extended intro, which has a much better lead-in to the first verse. I prefer the slightly softer tone of the bass+vocals parts too.

3. Last Hour of the Last Day of Work - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwRDHG5XdhA Kind of a rare spotlight on Less Than Jake's guitar work. The lead during the intro is really cool and even understated with the hard beat of the rhythm guitar, which is also amazing. Of course, Roger gets some fun bass flourishes in between the pauses of the rhythm guitar, though I wish it would've been more frequent. It's also really sad, i, invoking somber thoughts of appreciation for my parents.

2. Malt Liquor Tastes Better when You've Got Problems - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1VrV9z0Nak Another song that took me a while to really warm up to. Really solid riff for the intro and chorus, and Vinnie just pounds those drums. I love the way the quiet bridge builds up into Chris singing "I've spun out of controool" into a blaring whistle into an awesome horn section. Something about that whistle just seems to fit into Less Than Jake's style of "ready... go!" instrumental parts. I'm surprised they haven't used that trick again.

5. All My Best Friends Are Metalheads - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYIx0sFNDH4 Classic Less Than Jake. Memorable sampled intro, a kind of guitar solo, driving chorus. The horns have really prominence. Interestingly one of the few Less Than Jake songs that implements a key change in the outro double chorus string. It doesn't have a whole lot of lyrics, but it comes off as very genuine.

4. Five State Drive - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyiwz2IeJvU I still don't think I even know what the chorus of this song means. Musically it's one of my favorites on the album, it's very quick. I actually really like Chris' guitar playing after the bass intro, it's almost blues-y. I'm also a big fan of the horn part after the bridge, especially how it plays off of the drums.

3. Last One out of Liberty City - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAJmJ4NPXC8 The most visceral song on the album. Roger's thrashing bass alone makes this song great. I think it's strength lies in its brevity, as this album marks a definite turn to longer (3+ minutes, oh wow) songs than previous Less Than Jake releases, which kept an average of around 2 1/2 minutes. It's loud, borderline abrasive and demands attention. An awesome start to an awesome album.

2. Nervous in the Alley - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9cgqNFQgOc Buddy gets to shine in the intro, which I think is a favorite of many fans. Amazing rhythm on the chorus, and it's a good buildup to the addition of the horns in the second chorus, which really makes it pop. My only wish is that they took some time out to slow it back down near the end. Also is this the only time Less Than Jake utilizes keys?

*Edit: The links don't seem to be going to the right songs. Whatever.

5. Never Going Back to New Jersey - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iREmgt2nzBY#t=1036 This song has an oddly similar structure to Histoy of a Boring Town. It's one of the more catchy, sing-along-y songs on Losing Streak which would become more numerous on Less Than Jake's future releases. The vocals really sell this one, I'm a big fan of the cadence.

4. Sugar in Your Gas Tank - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iREmgt2nzBY#t=362 The first Less Than Jake song I ever heard. Nothing about it stands out too much besides it's memorable chorus and bass chord-laden bridge, but it manages to claw it's way into being a classic. I'll always have a soft spot for it.

3. Rock 'n Roll Pizzaria - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iREmgt2nzBY#t=1860 Rock 'n Roll Pizzaria is fast and irreverent, which isn't very different from any other given song on the album, but it has the distinction of having my favorite horn part on the album, perhaps even in Less Than Jake's entire library. The second half of the chorus is so relentless that you don't really have time to catch your breath. It's like getting punched by a trombone and I love it.

2. Automatic - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iREmgt2nzBY For years I had set my benchmark for bass-playing greatness at learning how to play this song. This is pure vintage Roger, with a bass riff that manages to feel improvised the entire time and his flat yelling delivery of the chorus. That voice mostly leaves us when we get to Anthem, for better and for worse, but this song was a driving reason why he was my idol when I was 14.

5. 3 Quarts Drunk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zdcxARHl98 The 5 spot on this list was really hard to choose, there are so many songs on Pezcore that I really like that sit between my favorites and the few I don't like. 3 Quarts drunk has the distinction of having the swankiest intro out of Less Than Jake's entire library. I think this song is the highlight of the hornwork on the album.

4. Shotgun - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8BbnqLmHcU It's taken me a while to appreciate Shotgun. It's practically the only song on the album with a semblance of a guitar solo, the bass is acrobatic, and the ending has a great lazy buildup into yelling. Also surprisingly dark.

3. Short on Ideas/One Last Cigarette - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMv6-ssRVeY Does this count? It usually flows together as one track. It counts. Still one of my favorite endings to an album, period. It's kind of indicative of Less Than Jake's future, as the lyrics have a sort of melancholy "the world is so much bigger than me" slant.

2. Boomtown - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5VyXFOZ7FA Pezcore is one of Less Than Jake's more formulaic albums. Luckily enough, one of those formulas is having really awesome intros for their songs. Boomtown's weird because the verses are basically filler: besides Roger's staggered backing vocals during the 2nd verse, the chorus/verse routine is pretty mundane. To make up for that, the entire last half of the song is amazing. It's slick, it's groovy, and it ends in one of Less Than Jake's best "it's the end of the song so let's just rock out for 15 seconds" pieces.