A continuation fanfic to Muzzle
Warnings for blood, vomit, panic attacks, and PTSD
“Should we wake him up?” Hunk whispered anxiously. “He needs to eat something soon.”
“Let’s give him a little more time. He could use the rest,” Shiro replied softly.
The gathered paladins’ eyes fell on Keith’s huddled form. He was limp with exhaustion, even his breathing sounding tired and heavy. His thin body was motionless except for the occasional agitated twitch.
The time stretched by. Hunk and Pidge eventually left the room to start some soup. Shiro and Lance remained by Keith’s bedside in silence. Allura looked in on them frequently, but she never stayed for long. It was hard to see so much worry and suffering.
Finally Keith stirred. His bleary eyes opened slowly to the dim blue lighting of his room. Lance and Shiro leaned in, their faces anxious.
“Hey Keith. How are you feeling?” Shiro greeted quietly.
“Hunk and Pidge are making some food. I’ll go tell them you’re up,” Lance replied, getting up and slipping out of the room.
“Let’s sit you up. It’ll be hard to eat soup lying down,” Shiro said, his hands slipping beneath Keith’s neck and back. Keith tensed at the touch, but allowed himself to be pulled upright. This simple movement seemed to take what little energy he had regained. He closed his eyes and coughed weakly.
After a few moments he settled back against the wall. His eyes opened once again when Hunk, Lance, Pidge, Allura, and Coran re-entered the small room. They greeted him in quiet voices, settling themselves around his bed. Keith managed a small smile at the sight of them.
Hunk stepped forward and placed a warm bowl of soup in his hands.
“It’s not the best I’ve ever made,” he said nervously, handing Keith a spoon. “I was going for a chicken noodle soup substitute but ran out of noodles. But I did add some nice spices so-”
He cut off in surprise. Keith was practically inhaling the soup. The spoon lay forgotten as he raised the bowl to his lips and drank the hot liquid thirstily. Some of the golden broth ran over his chin. He ate desperately fast, clutching the bowl like it might be taken from him.
“I think he likes it,” Lance laughed nervously. They all watched he swallowed the last dregs of the soup. Keith finally stopped and took a breath. He immediately began to cough furiously. His thin body trembled as his lungs and throat rebelled against the warm soup.
As quickly as it had begun, the deep rattling coughs stopped. Keith looked around, panic building in his eyes as a hiccup escaped his throat. Pidge seemed to know what was coming. She lunged toward the room’s garbage can and passed it hurriedly to Keith. He leaned over it, gagging painfully. Shiro took the empty soup bowl and began to rub Keith’s back.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Just get it up,” he said with a calm he didn’t feel.
Keith shuddered, saliva dripping from his mouth. The soup he had just eaten quickly followed. His trembling body expelled the desperately needed food in painful heaves. The bitter smell of vomit filled the room. Lance quickly opened the door to let fresh air in. Shiro continued to rub Keith’s back, muttering a steady stream of comforting words. Keith continued to heave long after his stomach had emptied. The movement sent his already weak body into bouts of uncontrollable shivering.
After what seemed like an eternity he slumped back against the pillows, body covered in a cold sweat. The gathered paladins all let out a breath they had been unaware they had been holding.
“You’re going to need some water Keith. Don’t want to get dehydrated,” Coran announced, breaking the awful silence.
“I’ll go get another bucket,” Hunk suggested sadly. He took the empty soup bowl from Shiro and followed Coran out of the room.
Keith didn’t watch them leave. His gaze was locked on the trashcan still clutched in his hands. He sniffed miserably, looking at the rejected food.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Allura reassured him, stepping closer.
“Yeah, we shouldn’t have gone so fast,” Lance agreed.
“It’s okay. We can try again later,” Shiro assured him, continuing his steadying backrub.
Coran and Hunk returned shortly. Shiro helped Keith drink the glass of water Coran had brought, only giving it to him in small sips. He managed to keep it down this time, though he did succumb to a few more coughing fits. Once the glass was drained, Keith collapsed back into his pillows. His eyes fluttered open and closed as he tried to relax.
“I’ll look after him,” Shiro whispered the group. “You should all get some sleep.”
They trickled out of the room in silence. Soon it was just Keith and Shiro in the semi darkness. Once they were alone, Keith’s eyes opened tiredly.
“Hey. We should get you cleaned up,” Shiro suggested gently. Keith looked up at him, exhaustion haunting his pale face.
“Come on. You’ll feel better,” he promised. “Do you think you can walk?”
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
He lifted the smaller boy easily out of his bed and into the room’s small bathroom. He helped Keith undress, trying not to focus on how thin and bruised he was. Warm steam filled the room as he helped Keith get into the shower. Supporting Keith with one arm, Shiro worked shampoo into his hair with the other. Snarls and matted clumps met his massaging fingers.
Keith faded in and out of sleep the whole time. He didn’t seem to notice the water sprinkling his scarred face, nor did he seem embarrassed as Shiro helped him wash up.
Soon he was settled back into bed in clean clothes, a fresh glass of water and a bucket close at hand.
“Told you you’d feel better,” Shiro said quietly, pulling a blanket up to his chest.
Keith’s nodded sleepily. Shiro pulled up one of the blankets left behind by the paladins and settled himself next to the bed. Just as he felt himself slipping into sleep he heard Keith’s quiet voice.
“Yeah? What do you need?”
There was a long silence. Perhaps he was just checking that his guardian was still there. But then,
“Why did you leave me there for so long?”
Shiro felt his heart break at the hurt in Keith’s damaged voice. He didn’t want to talk about this. It was all too raw, too fresh in his mind. But Keith had asked. He felt like he had been abandoned and needed to know. Shiro took a deep steadying breath and began.
“Do you remember the prison transport mission?”
“We had all split up to open the cells across the ship. It was a simple mission. Things were going smoothly. But something went wrong with your radio. We lost contact,” Shiro explained, trying to keep his voice steady.
“Pidge and I went to go find you. But the Galra called reinforcements while we were looking. There were too many. We had to go get our lions or else we… we would have been captured. Red wasn’t responding. We pulled her back to the castle before the Galra could get to her. But while we were gone they… they went to warp speed.”
Shiro squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his head against the wall. He had replayed this scenario over and over every day since Keith had gone missing. He knew every moment by heart.
“We lost you. There was no signal on where the ship went. We tried to follow but it just disappeared.”
He didn’t mention what had happened to the team. The way Pidge worked herself to tears to find any sort of clue. The way Lance had withdrawn from everybody, silently blaming himself. The way he often found Hunk wandering aimlessly down the hallways, looking as lost as he felt.
“After a couple of days, Red reactivated. She just took off to find you. We all followed her. She lead us to a secret Galra outpost. But it was hidden. They were using a space time pocket like Ulaz’s communication outpost. But it was more… advanced. We got through and got you out but.. the time was… it… we only lost you for a couple of days! But according to the ship’s log you had been there for months.”
Shiro thought back to the horror of finding Keith. The shock of realizing how much time had passed for him. It had seemed impossible that the terrified muzzled boy was the friend they had lost only days ago.
“We never meant to leave you,” he swore. “I’m so… I’m so sorry Keith.”
Neither spoke again for the rest of the night.
The paladins took it in turns to spend the night with Keith. At first Shiro insisted on staying, but they beat him down by pointing out that he needed rest too.
Hunk volunteered first. He seemed encouraged by the fact that Keith had managed to keep down most of his meals, and was slowly regaining the color in his face. His friend was already sleeping lightly by the time Hunk checked in for the night. He made sure that there was a glass of water by his bed, then climbed into the cot they had brought in earlier. He was asleep in minutes, lulled by the soft even sounds of Keith’s breathing.
The sound of much different breathing woke him up hours later. Hunk blinked blearily. Shallow panting breaths were coming from Keith in the darkness. A slight metallic smell met his nose. He got to his feet and flicked on the dim nightlights of the room.
Keith was frantically clawing at his face. Bloody fingernails raked at the skin around his scar. His eyes were open, but he didn’t seem to see any of his surroundings. Hunk hurried to his side and tried to shake him awake.
“Keith! Keith it’s okay! You need to stop; you’re hurting yourself,” he begged, prying Keith’s hands away from his face. But this seemed to make things worse. Keith fought against at Hunk’s touch, thrashing and flailing in bed. Hunk desperately fought to pin him down. Thankfully Keith was still pretty weak. He managed to hold him still against the bed. His body shook with tension but despite his obvious terror, he didn’t make a sound. His jaw was clenched and rigid.
“Keith! You’re safe! You’re back in the castle remember?” Hunk reminded him. “You need to wake up!”
Keith’s wide crazed eyes fell on him. His jaw relaxed and the tension bled out of his limbs. He was panting nearly as hard as Hunk. Thick, sticky blood ran down his face in jagged tracks.
“I had to get it off,” he whimpered.
“Muzzle. There was no air. Couldn’t breathe!”
Hunk pulled him into a tight embrace.
“It’s okay. It’s gone. We won’t ever let it come back,” he promised.
Lance was on duty the following night. They were all still shaken from hearing about Keith’s panic attack the other night. He only hoped it would be better tonight.
Keith was sitting up when Lance entered the room. He ducked his head slightly, trying to cover his new face bandages with his hair.
“You don’t need to stay with me,” he told Lance defensively. “I’m fine.”
“I know,” Lance assured him, plopping down on the cot. “But I always sleep better when someone else is in the room. Is it okay if I stay?”
Keith nodded, seeming relieved that Lance hadn’t accepted his offer to leave. Neither of them fell asleep for a long time that night. They talked quietly for awhile. Lance brought him up to speed on the team’s activities. Thankfully the Galra hadn’t launched a large attack lately, so they were doing smaller missions while Keith got back on his feet. He told Keith about the aliens they had met, the cool things the paladins had done in battle, the planets they had visited. His quiet rambling voice finally nudged Keith off to sleep.
Lance lay awake, watching his friend. The scars left by the muzzle were beginning to fade in small patches. He would always be marked by his captivity, but it was becoming less and less noticeable.
After a few hours, Keith began to toss agitatedly in his sleep. Lance watched him warily. Thankfully Keith made no move to hurt himself. But small noises of distress began to escape from him. Lance sat up, watching him nervously. Should he wake him up? His fears begged him to, but his instinct told him to let Keith sleep it off. His heart gave a painful throb as he saw tears begin to slide down Keith’s tight face. He was having another nightmare.
Lance couldn’t take it any more. He crouched down and shook Keith’s shoulder gently. Keith gasped, his eyes flying open. He cringed away from the touch, confused and disoriented.
“It’s okay. It’s me,” Lance reassured him. “You were having a nightmare.”
Keith sat up in bed, his eyes clearing. He took a deep shuddering breath and drew his knees up to his chest. Lance hesitated, then sat tentatively next to him.
“Sorry,” Keith muttered, wiping tears hurriedly from his face.
“Don’t be. We all get nightmares sometimes.”
“Thanks for staying with me.”
Lance smiled in the darkness, wrapping his arms around Keith in a protective hug. They sat like that for a long time. Long enough for Keith to truly feel what they had all been telling him.