Shouting into a hole in the wall

Heard enough? Maybe, maybe not. I'm gonna keep going at some point. Thoughts as they come, or not. I dunno.

If you care, expect more. If you don't, neither do I.

For the few followers I still have, figured now's as good a time as any for a life update. I've been trying to make my way through life as best as I can. Ran into trouble a while ago. Let me explain. Did some sketchy shit about a month or so ago that I'm not proud of, with a few other people. Two of the others did a little bit more sketchy shit than I did. Come punishment time, me and another person got the equivalent of a slap on the wrist. I got ridiculously lucky, and I still don't understand how. The other two got a lot worse. Like 'burned at the stake' kinda worse. Money taken, qualifications taken, rank taken. Everything but the kitchen sink. Naturally, they were bitter. They hated me, and still do. It was not under my control that I got let off easily. I should've been just as fucked as they were, but such was the hand we were dealt. One of them in particular was a close friend of mine before the situation, now she barely deigns to speak to me, and word floating around is that she really hates me. Also got recommended to the chaplain for counseling and potential therapy. Lied my ass off, said I was okay. He ate it up. So, I made a resolution. Not one more time. I refuse to fuck up like that, and I refuse to deal with petty hatreds. I have already licked my wounds and moved on. Killed the feelings I had toward them quickly and remorselessly. It shocked me how easy it was. I've changed a great deal in the past year. I'm stronger and more alone. It's great, if tragic.