I am not okay. And screw all these posters and articles that start out with, “it’s okay to not be okay.” literally fuck that. Because at some point, not being okay destroys you. It strips you of everything you thought you knew about yourself. Gone. Vanished. Your personality is 10x less appealing than it ever was and you don't even feel comfortable in your own skin. I don't know who I am anymore and I don't remember how I used to be. I don't remember how I used to react to certain words or people even. Everything I do feels fake and there’s noway for me to determine anything real anymore. I'm at a crossroads with every choice I have to make nowadays and it almost feels like its life or death. How do I stop this? How do I get back to how I used to be? I'm tired of my heart racing all the time and being on edge. I’m tired of feeling lonely and like no one could help. Most importantly, I am just tired.